19:51
- Hey Tony where are you? You haven't answered any of my calls and my parents said you weren't here when they got home.
20:14
- Are you okay? Why aren't you responding?
20:25
- Tony quit messing with me. Where are you?
21:04
- Peggy is gone, so you can come out from where ever your hiding.
21:32
- Stark answer me.
21:57
-...are you angry with me or something?
22:00
- Please tell me you're okay.
♡
"Don't worry honey, he's probably gone for a walk or something."
Steve looked up at his mother with a raised eyebrow. "For over 5 hours?" He asked, his blue pupils shrinking for a second as he realized how long it had been.
His mother looked at him through her long eyelashes before giving his father a quick look. He answered her by taking a sip from his coffee mug.
The kitchen lamp made Steve's eyes sting in exhaustion, his gaze glued at his phone screen where his unread messages were waiting to be opened. Together with the many calls, his boyfriend hadn't responded to. He could hear how the rain quietly hit the window glass from outside and how his mother's fingers were tapping her perfect nails against the kitchen table.
He didn't get it. Why would Tony just disappear like that? It didn't make any sense.
"We could always wait till the morning. Maybe he's at one of his friends or just want to be alone." His father suggested without taking his eyes off the newspaper.
"I can't wait till the morning." Steve said. "What if he gets home in the middle of the night?"
Joseph looked up at his son. "Then I'll let him inside. My night shift won't keep me that occupied." He said calmly while taking another sip of his coffee, which was the only liquid he wanted to drink when he worked home at night.
Steve gave him a hesitant look before he returned to his text again. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep."
Sarah gave him a warm smile. "We understand. And we're happy that you've made such a good friend. But you need some sleep." She said with a soft voice.
Steve smiled sadly when he heard the word "friend" leave his mother's mouth. His parents were amazingly oblivious sometimes. He was actually quite surprised that they didn't even suspect him for being anything else than what they wanted him to be. It shocked him that they had never heard nor caught him being flirty with his boyfriend, or even noticed the looks they gave each other. Steve had lost count of his many times he had warned Tony about his parents. But of course, the raven-haired never listened.
"Steve." His mother called his attention softly and Steve met her eyes. "Go get some sleep. We'll search for him in the morning, maybe his father knows where he is."
Steve shook his head. "His dad doesn't care about him." He stood up from the table with his eyes glued to his phone screen. "Imma get some sleep." His mumble and his mother nodded at him understanding. He left his parents in the kitchen while making his way up the stairs to his slightly messy room.
With a sigh, he pulled off his shirt and pants before putting on a pair of sweatpants instead. He ignored brushing his teeth as he laid down in the bed, exhausted and worried about what had happened that day. He just wanted this to be a bad dream. He wanted to wake up from it and find Tony beside him, perfectly safe and unharmed.
No matter how hard he tried, sleep didn't want to take over his consciousness. His bed felt incredibly cold and empty where he was laying alone with the duvet up to his ears. His eyes felt dry and he tried to keep them close. But every time he closed them, he saw the raven-haired in front of him.
Steve eventually gave up and sat up in his bed instead. It was completely dark in his room, but he didn't mind it one bit. The darkness kept him from seeing the empty spot next to him, where usually a sleeping Tony would be cuddled up into the covers with his nose buried into the pillow. His hair would always get messed up into a ball of fluff while his small breathing calmed Steve down nerve by nerve.
The blond still couldn't forget the first night with Tony. The night's that was everything else than peaceful. When small breathings and calm and quiet snores hadn't yet filled the room, but were replaced with silence. Steve knew that Tony had been awake night after night. He had heard him cry when he thought Steve was asleep, and when he was, he had always woken up when Tony got one of his horrible nightmares.
The genius always said he was fine. That he could take care of himself and that he didn't need nor want Steve's pity.
But he did. And when he finally had accepted that, and when they had figured it out. They had been so good.
Steve closed his eyes and trailed his hand over Tony's empty spot, almost like he thought the simple hand gesture would bring him back. Back to the night before when they had been so good. When everything had been great.
*The night before*
"Tony stop! What if they come in?"
Tony looked at him with a warm smile on his face while pinning the other guys body into the mattress. Steve could feel how the blood in his cheeks warmed up from the connection against his almost naked body as Tony hugged him tightly.
"It's in the middle of the night dummy." Tony said before trailing small kisses on Steve's naked chest.
"Dad isn't a very heavy sleeper." Steve pointed out.
"Then I guess you have to be quiet." Tony shrugged before tracing his hands down Steve's naked sides.
Steve scoffed. "I'm not worried about my own volume."
Tony stopped in the middle of a wet kiss and looked up at the blond's face. The moonlight lit the raven-haired boy up beautifully and Steve couldn't take his eyes off him where he was laying over his body.
"Getting confident are we Rogers?"
Steve shrugged innocently where he laid on his back, which made Tony smile smugly. The genius pushed himself further up Steve's body and connected their mouths in a hungry kiss, his hands pinning Steve's arms above his head. Steve let out a small groan as Tony bit his lip lightly and squeeze his wrist.
"Looks like I'm stronger." Tony whispered against his boyfriend's chin before biting it lightly. Steve gave him a look before smirking. In a quick movement, he grabbed the smaller guy's arms in a tight grip and released himself from the submissive position. He could hear how Tony made a small moan down his throat in surprise and arousal before Steve flipped them over.
"I am not stronger...." Tony groaned as Steve's sea-blue eyes met his with a confident smug on his lips.
"Not really, no." Steve responded, making both of them chuckle before they connected their lips. "We should go to sleep." Steve mumbled into the kiss.
"Mmhm." Tony hummed as an answer, not breaking the kiss while he ran his hands up and down Steve's back.
"Now." Steve said, his eyes closed when Tony once again slipped his tongue between his lips.
"Why?"
"Because you need it."
"I need you."
"Tony." Steve groaned, pulling away from the kiss, causing his boyfriend to look at him unpleased. "You can't just heal yourself through sex."
"Watch me."
"Tony no." Steve warned as Tony's hands started to travel down under the duvet and down Steve's abs.
"C'mon! One blow job and I'll stop okay?"
"Why are you so attached to my privates?" Steve laughed quietly as he pulled Tony's hands up where he could see them.
"Who wouldn't?"
Steve rolled his eyes amusingly before kissing Tony's nose. "Go to sleep."
Tony rolled his eyes. "Fine, but I want you in the morning or I'll never sleep again." He groaned before rolling over and faced the wall with a grumpy facial expression. Steve just laughed before crawling up to his boyfriend. He carefully put his arms around the raven haired's waist and pulled him in, keeping him safe in his arms while his body warmed him up slowly but surely.
"Steve?"
"Mm?" Steve hummed into Tony's neck, placing small and loving kisses against his hair.
"Why don't you wanna have sex with me?"
Steve stopped in the middle of a kiss. His eyes opening as he wrinkled his forehead. "Didn't we this morning?" He asked confused.
Tony smiled softly before turning around and faced Steve's handsome face. "That was small things Steve."
Steve tried not to shift uncomfortably as Tony spoke. "You don't like that?" Steve asked with a small voice.
Tony immediately felt bad and his eyes widened. "Nonono that's not what I meant. I love that, I love the things you can do." He said proudly and Steve blushed a little where he was laying. "I just....I would like to have real sex with you. You know like...penetration."
"I honestly can't believe I'm having this conversation with you." Steve groaned embarrassed while hiding his face against Tony's chest.
Tony rolled his eyes before tracing his fingers through Steve's golden blond hair. "Why suddenly so shy Rogers?" He teased.
"Shut up."
Tony chuckled before closing his eyes. He placed a small kiss on Steve's head before he turned serious again. "But why?"
"Hm?"
"Why don't you wanna have sex with me?" Tony's voice sounded weak as he asked the question. His eyes feeling incredibly wet before he closed them. He could literally feel how Steve was thinking in his arms.
"I do." The blond suddenly said, slowly but surely appearing from his hiding place, which was Tony's chest. "Just not yet."
"Why?"
Steve bit his lip hesitantly. "We've been together for what? A week? Isn't it a little too early?"
Tony scoffed. "We've been together for a week yes. But admit it, we've both been needy as hell for about two months."
"That was more like hate arousal. We've gone from enemies to friends to lovers. There is a difference between what we had then and what we have now." Steve said with a small smile. Only to raise an eyebrow at Tony's amused facial expression. "What?"
"Lovers?" Tony asked teasingly.
Steve blushed even more. "Whatever you wanna call it."
Tony nodded with a small smirk on his face, before he turned around to he was facing the roof. "You're still my enemy though."
Steve looked at him slightly hurt. "Excuse me?"
Tony smiled lovingly. " I still hate you, remember?"
Steve rolled his eyes before yawning. "Sure Stark. Sure you do." A comfortable silence filled the air and sleepiness welled over Steve quicker than expected.
He rolled onto his back before pulling Tony with him and hugged him again.
"Steve?"
The blond groaned before answering again. "Yes?" He could feel in the way Tony wasn't moving that he was hesitating. Almost like he didn't actually want to say anything, but couldn't help himself.
"If I ever do anything to screw this up, I'm sorry." Tony mumbled with a small voice. Steve opened his eyes and looked down at the smaller guy in his arms. His sea-blue eyes were confused and sorrowful as the words had left his lover's mouth.
"Screw what up? Us?" He asked shocked and Tony nodded slowly, not meeting his eyes as he traced his fingers over Steve's chest. "Tony," Steve whispered, he placed a gentle finger under the raven haired's chin and lifted it up. Their eyes finally meeting again.
"You won't screw this up. You're amazing and nothing will ever screw us up. Not you, not your dad, not my parents, no one." Steve spoke with a clear but quiet voice. It felt weird to say anything that cheesy, but he knew that Tony needed to hear it. No matter how much of a Disney movie it sounded like.
Tony looked at him with trustful eyes. "Not even you?" He asked with a little smirk growing on his face.
"I don't think I would be able to live with myself if I hurt you. Or if you got hurt in any way." Steve said with a smile.
"Cheesy."
"Shut up." Steve chuckled. Tony smiled widely before giving the blond a small peck on his lips. The contact made Steve feel small electric sparks between their skin. It didn't matter how many times Tony kissed him, or how many times he kissed Tony. He always felt like exploding in happiness and comfort. Their humor full moments and stolen kisses made him warm inside, and feeling Tony's bare skin against his made his head dizzy.
"I trust you." Tony whispered against his lips. "I don't know why but I do."
Steve smiled in pride and love as he gave his boyfriend another deep kiss. Their lips moving slowly and hungrily.
***
And that's where Steve lost it. The memory slowly fading as he once again returned back to his empty bed and the cold sheets sucked him back to reality. The reality where he was alone, and where he had broken the promise. He realized it now. One night he told his lover that he wouldn't screw their relationship up, only to turn against his words and betray him.
Steve knew that his boyfriend was unaware of the mistake at the cafe. But it still felt like he knew. It felt like Tony was broken somewhere. Like he didn't want to come home because he knew what Steve had done to him. But that isn't possible. Tony wasn't even with them at that time. He had stayed home, only to run away before Steve's parents returned home from work.
Steve sighed before lazily sitting up in his bed. Realizing that this wasn't going to work. He just had to stay awake in case Tony got home. Maybe he was hurt, or scared, or confused. Maybe he tried to go and see his dad, only to be beaten up by him.
The blond immediately froze as the thought didn't seem to fade. Worry and fear grew in him while horrible pictures of Howard beating up his son covered his sight. Steve immediately stood up on his feet and ran down the stairs to the kitchen, the small thud of his footsteps filling his ears. He fumbled blindly in the dark after the nearest glass before filling it with ice-cold water from the kitchen sink. Sighing as he felt how the cold liquid ran down his throat, calming down his nerves and helping the horrifying pictures leave his conscience.
After a few glasses of water, he finally leaned against the kitchen counter and took a deep breath. The lamps from the road outside lightening up the kitchen slightly as he bent his head back and tried to relax. He tries to think of something else, but the only thing he could see was the memories he had of Tony.
Steve jumped in surprise when the silent kitchen suddenly was filled with the familiar sound of his ring tone. He immediately pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at the number, hoping and praying that the contact name was the one he wished for. Only to frown in disappointment when another name showed up.
"Sam Wilson"
Steve wrinkled his forehead. Why would Sam call him in the middle of the night? He hesitantly accepted the call and placed his phone against his ear.
"Hello?"
"Steve, it's Sam."
Steve made an unaffected face. "Yeah I know. What's up?"
"Are your parents asleep?"
"No, my dad is working. Why?" Steve asked slightly confused.
"Something's happened. I don't know if we should come in but Bucky needs to talk to you."
Steve immediately jumped up from the counter and almost dropped the glass on the floor. "Is it about Tony? Do you know where he is?" He asked with an intense voice.
"Why don't you come and find out? Bucky knows the story better than I do."
Steve wrinkled his forehead once again while hesitantly walking to the living room and grabbed a hoodie, not planning on walking out of the house half-naked. "What do you mean by that?" He asked.
There was a short silence before Sam sighed. "He thinks Stark has been kidnapped."
**
I'm alive. For once.
Hope this break didn't kill you cause it was the most relaxing weeks of my life. This break also helped me come up with new ideas and I already have 3 chapters ready for you. But I'll wait a few days before publishing them *evil laugh*.
♡♡♡♡♡