It's storming and Dean pulls up to a hotel. The two brothers get out in the downpour and Dean gets their bags. Sam walks to Evie's door and opens it. He unbuckles her before zipping her jacket up and putting the hood on her head.
"I don't want doggy to get wet." Evie says.
"Uh... okay, um. Here." Sam takes the dog from her and puts it under her jacket. "There, he won't get wet now."
Sam picks her up, hiding her face in his shoulder. He shuts the door and the brothers hurry inside.
"Whew. Nice digs for once." Dean says and they go to the front desk where the worker, Chad, is. They request a room and watch as he taps away on the keyboard for a little bit. Evie is still being held by Sam and her head is resting against his.
"Busy night." Dean remarks.
"Any port in a storm, I guess. If you could just fill this out, please." Chad says, handing Dean a clipboard.
"Yeah." Dean nods.
"Sir, I think... shaving nick there." Chad hands Dean a tissue. Dean puts his hand to his neck, pulling it away to find blood. "Your key." He hands the said object to him.
"Oh. Thanks. Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a coffee shop, would you?" Dean asks.
"Buffet. All you can eat. Best pie in the tri-state area." Chad informs.
"You don't say?" Dean smiles.
~ ~ ~
Sam and Evie are sitting at the table. Sam is on his phone while Evie stuffs her face with food. Dean walks over with a piece of pie.
"Sam, unpucker, man. Eat something." Dean tells his brother.
"We should hit the road, Dean." Sam says.
"In this storm? I-It's--" Sam cuts his brother off.
"It's Biblical. Exactly. I-it's friggin' Noah's Ark out there, and we're eating pie."
"How many hours of sleep did you get this week? What? Three, four? Bobby's got his feeler's out, okay? We have talked with every hoodoo man and root woman in 12 states." Dean states.
"Yeah, well, I'm not giving up." Sam says.
"Nobody's giving up. Especially me. We're gonna find a way to beat the devil, okay? Soon. I can feel it. And we will find Cas, we'll find Adam. But you are no good to me burnt out." Dean says.
"Yeah. Yeah, okay." Sam sighs, putting his phone up.
"Come on, we've actually got the night off for once. Let's try to enjoy it." Dean says.
~ ~ ~
They reach their room and Sam is holding Evie. They stop at their door, Dean looking to the couple that's going to get in the room next to them. The couple is making out and Dean points them out to Sam and smiles.
"What are you, 12?" Sam asks.
"I'm young at heart." Dean says, unlocking their room. They walk in. "Wow. Look at this. We're like Rockefellers. Chocolates!" Dean gets the chocolate off his pillow. He points to Sam's. "You want yours?"
"Knock yourself out." Sam tells him and Dean takes the chocolate.
"Whoa." Dean picks something up off the table between the beds. ""Casa Erotica 13" on demand." Sam scoffs. "What?"
"Isn't this place... in the middle of nowhere?" Sam asks.
"So?" Dean asks.
"So what's a 4 star hotel doing on a no star highway?" Sam asks.
They hear a woman moaning in pleasure on the other side of the wall and the bed thumps. Dean chuckles while Sam covers Evie's ears, ignoring her confused look.
They soon hear a loud thud making the brick wall smash, followed by a few more. Sam puts Evie down as the brothers start to leave.
"Stay here." Sam tells her. The two walk out, Dean shutting the door behind them.
+++
"The, uh, the room next to ours. The couple that are, uh, joined at the lips. Have you seen them?" Dean asks Chad. They're at the front desk and Sam is holding Evie.
"Mr. and Mrs. Logan-- the honeymooners? They checked out. Is something the matter?" Chad asks.
"They checked out?" Sam asks.
"Mm-hmm. Mm, just now." Chad says.
"Really? It sort of seemed like they were, uh... in the middle of something." Sam says.
"Yeah, it's kind of weird for honeymooners to, uh, check out without this." Dean says, holding up the ring he found in the room.
"Oh, dear. I'll just put that right in the lost and found." Chad says, taking the ring. "Don't you worry. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
"Uh, no. No, we're good." Dean says.
"Super fantastic." Chad smiles, turning away from them.
"Super fantastic?" Evie whispers.
"Creepy." Sam mumbles as they walk away.
"Broke the needle. All right, well, I'll scope out the joint, and you keep an eye on Norman Bates over here. I mean, one night off. Is that too much to ask?" Dean asks.
"You wanna go with Uncle Deanie, Evie?" Sam asks.
"Why?" Evie asks.
"Because I don't want you following the creepy guy with me." Sam quietly tells her.
"Okay." She replies just as quietly.
"What, I get the kid now?" Dean asks, despite already taking Evie from Sam.
"I rather her find a weird room than follow Norman Bates. Besides she calms you down sometimes." Sam says.
~ ~ ~
Dean is walking down the hallway, holding Evie, and he pulls out an EMF detector. Dean passes a room and they see an elephant holding a towel. Evie's eyes widen and her jaw drops. Dean stops confused before taking a few steps back. He looks and sees a man wrapping a towel around him.
"This ain't no peep show, man!" The man exclaims, shutting the door.
"But it was an elephant." Evie mutters.
"Yeah, I know." Dean mumbles.
+++
They're back with Sam and Dean is still holding Evie.
"An elephant?" Sam asks.
"Yeah." Dean nods.
"Like, an elephant?" Sam asks.
"Like, full on Babar." Dean says.
"I saw an elephant, daddy." Evie states.
"It's okay. I believe you, pumpkin." Sam assures. "So what the hell is..." Sam stops the question as they reach the lobby and see it completely empty. "Where is everybody?"
Sam tries to open the doors, but nothing happens.
"Let me guess. It's locked. So what? The roaches check in, they don't check out?" Dean asks.
"Think about how we got here. That detour on I-90? The friggin' hurricane?" Sam asks.
"You saying we were led here?" Dean asks.
"Like rats in a maze." Sam says.
They go to the kitchen. They reach the stove where there's a boiling pot of a red liquid.
"Please be tomato soup. Please be tomato soup." Dean mutters, reaching the ladle. Sam lightly pushes Evie's face into Dean's shoulder just as Dean lifts the ladle to reveal eyeballs. Both brothers look away as Dean drops the ladle. "Motel hell."
Sam sees the locked freezer and slowly walks towards it. There's a bang on the inside of it and he realizes it's people.
"Help us! Get us out!" A man pleads. Sam gets his pick pocket tool kit out.
"Hurry up!" Dean tells him.
"I'm going as fast as I..." Sam turns, trailing off. "As I can."
"There's somebody behind me, isn't there?" Dean asks.
+++
They're led into a large room, Dean still holding Evie as the brothers are dragged inside.
"Something tells me this isn't a Shriner convention." Dean mutters to his brother.
"Dinner is served." Mercury says. He lifts the lid off the tray to reveal a man's head. Evie makes a noise of fear and both brothers immediately hide her face in Dean's shoulder.
~ ~ ~
The three are sitting in armchairs while the people sit around the three tables shaping a square U. Evie is sitting with her legs to her chest and tightly hugging her dog.
"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming." Baldur says. "Although in all my centuries, I never thought I'd see this. This many Gods under one roof."
"Gods?" Sam asks his brother.
"Now, before we get down to brass tracks, some ground rules. No slaughtering each other. Curb your wrath. Oh, and, uh, keep your hands off the local virgins. We're, trying to keep a low profile here." Baldur says.
"Oh, we are so so screwed." Sam mutters.
"Now we all know why we're here. The Judeo-Christian apocalypse looms over us. I know we've all had our little disagreements in the past. The time has come to put those aside and look toward the future. Because if we don't, we won't have one. Now we do have two very valuable bargaining chips. Michael and Lucifer's vessel. The question is, what do we do now? Anybody have any bright ideas? Speak up. This is a safe room." Baldur says.
Zao Shen says something in a different language.
"Kill 'em?" Ganesh laughs. "What, so the angels can bring them back again?"
"I don't know what everybody's getting so worked up about! Cause it's just a couple of angels having a slap fight! There's no Armageddon. Everybody knows, when the world comes to an end, the Great Serpent Jormungandr rises up, and I myself will be eaten by a big wolk!" Odin states.
Zao Shen says something.
"Oh, yeah? And why is that? Because your beliefs are so much more realistic? The whole world's getting carried around on the back of a giant turtle? Ha! Give me a break!" Odin states. Zao Shen says something. "What are you gonna do about it?"
They continue fighting and the brothers slowly stand up. Sam is halfway through picking Evie up when the chandelier in front of them crashes down resulting in Sam quickly puts Evie back on the chair and puts his hands over her head.
"Stay." Kali tells them. "We have to fight. The archangels. The only thing they understand is violence. This ends in blood. There is no other way. It's them or us."
"With all due respect, ma'am, we haven't even tried talking to them." Mercury says. Kali glares at him until he begins to choke up blood.
"Kali." Baldur calls and she stops from killing Mercury who continues to cough a little bit, but stops soon.
"Who asked you?" Kali asks.
The doors open and Gabriel walks in.
"Can't we all just get along?!" Gabriel asks. Dean attempts to call his name, but Gabriel silences the Winchesters' mouths. "Sam, Dean, Evie. It's always wrong place, worst time with you muttonheads, huh?"
"Loki." Baldur states.
"Baldur. Good seeing you too. I guess my invitation got lost in the mail." Gabriel says.
"Why are you here? "Baldur asks.
"To talk about the elephant in the room." Gabriel says and Ganesh starts to stand up. "Not you." He sits back down. "The Apocalypse. We can't stop it, gang. But first things first." Gabriel turns to the family of three. "The adults need to have a little conversation. Check you later." Gabriel snaps and the three are suddenly in their room.
"Okay. Did that-- holy crap." Dean says. Evie stands up and hugs Sam's leg.
"Yeah, tell me about it. By the way, next time I say let's keep driving, uh, let's keep driving." Sam says.
"Okay, yeah, next time." Dean agrees.
"Alright, so what's our next move?" Sam asks.
"I-I-I... I don't know. Grab those poor saps outta the freezer, I guess? Bust 'em out? Gank a few freaks along the way if we're lucky?" Dean suggests.
"And when are you ever lucky?" They turn to see Gabriel.
"Well, you know what, bite me, Gabriel." Dean snarks.
"Maybe later, big boy." Gabriel says.
"I should've known. I mean this had your stink all over it from the jump." Dean says.
"You think I'm behind this? Please. I'm the Costner to your Houston. I'm here to save your ass." Gabriel says.
"You wanna pull us outta the fire?" Dean asks.
"Bingo! Those guys are either gonna dust you or use you as bait. Either way, you're uber boned." Gabriel says.
"Wow, cause a couple of months ago you were telling us that we need to play our roles. You're uber boning us!" Dean exclaims.
"Ohh... the end if still nigh. Michael and Lucifer are gonna dance the lambada, but not tonight. Not here." Gabriel says.
"And why do you care?" Dean asks.
"I don't care. But me and Kali, we, uh, had a thing. Chick was all hands. What can I say? I'm sentimental." Gabriel says.
"Do they have a chance? Against Satan?" Sam asks.
"Really, Sam?" Dean asks.
"You got a better idea, Dean?" Sam asks.
"It's a bad idea. Lucifer's gonna turn them into finger paint. So let's get going while the going's good, hmm?" Gabriel asks.
"Okay. Great, why don't you just zap us outta here then?" Dean asks.
"Would if I could, but Kali's got you by the short and curlies. It's a blood spell. You boys are on a leash." Gabriel says.
"What does that mean?" Dean asks.
"It means it's time for a bit of the old black magic." Gabriel squirts breath spray in his mouth.
"Okay, yeah. Well, whatever. Well, we're gonna take the hors d'oeuvres in the freezer with us." Dean states.
"Forget it. It's gonna be hard enough sneaking you mooks outta here." Gabriel says.
"They called you Loki, right? Which means they don't really know who you are?" Dean asks.
"Told you. I'm in witness protection." Gabriel says.
"Okay, well then how about you do what we say, or we tell the, uh, legion of doom about your secret identity. They don't seem like a real pro angel kinda crowd." Dean says.
"I'll take your voices away." Gabriel claims.
"We'll write it down." Dean says.
"I'll cut off your hands." Gabriel threatens. Evie's eyes widen and she hugs her dad tighter.
"Well then, people are gonna be asking, "Why are you guys running around with no hands?"" Dean says.
"Fine." Gabriel huffs.
+++
They walk into the lounge area, Sam holding Evie. They hear screaming from the other side of the front desk and quickly move out of sight behind a half wall, but they can still see what's happening.
"No! N-no! Please!" The man continues to scream as a few of the gods slide him across the front desk.
Dean tries to go save him, but Sam holds him back.
"No. It's too late." Sam whispers. Evie whimpers in fear and Sam buries her face in the crook of his neck to both silence her cries and keep her from looking.
The man continues to scream until his head is chopped off, the sound making Evie flinch.
~ ~ ~
They're in the kitchen and Sam is trying to quickly unlock the freezer door while Evie stands next to him. Dean is standing back when he's suddenly grabbed and thrown across the room by Zao Shen. The younger two Winchesters turn and see him. The god grabs Sam by the neck, lifting him off the ground, and holding him up against the freezer door.
Sam struggles to get free as Zao Shen continues to strangle him.
"Stop it! You're hurting him!" Evie cries, kicking Zao Shen in the leg. Zao Shen turns his head to her, but keeps his hold on Sam who only tries to get free more seeing the murderous look aimed at his daughter. As Zao Shen reaches out to Evie, Dean quickly stabs a wooden stake through his back. Zao Shen releases Sam who falls to the floor and the god falls dead.
"Are you okay?" Evie asks her dad.
"I'm okay, baby." Sam reassures, catching his breath.
"Where the hell is Gabriel?" Dean asks.
~ ~ ~
They got dragged to the ballroom once again, this time somebody else carrying Evie and they set her down in a chair next to Sam.
"How long have you known?" Gabriel asks Kali.
"Long enough." Kali states.
"How's the rescue going?" Dean asks the archangel.
"Well, surprise, surprise. The trickster has tricked us." Kali says.
"Kali, don't." Gabriel says.
"You're mine now. And you have something I want." Kali says. She reaches into Gabriel's jacket and pulls out a blade. "An archangel's blade. From the archangel, Gabriel."
"Okay, okay! So I got wings, like Kotex. But that doesn't make me any less right about Lucifer." Gabriel says.
"He's lying. He's a spy." Kali states.
"I'm not a spy. I'm a runaway. I'm trying to save you. I know my brother, Kali. He should scare the living crap out of you. You can't beat him. I've skipped ahead, seen how this story ends--" Kali cuts Gabriel off.
"Your story. Not ours. Westerners, I swear. The sheer arrogance. You think you're the only ones on earth. You pillage and you butcher in your God's name. But you're not the only religion, and he's not the only God. And now you think you can just rip the planet apart? You're wrong. There are billions of us. And we were here first. If anyone gets the end this world, it's me. I'm sorry."
Kali stabs Gabriel in the chest making Evie shriek. A bright light shines from his mouth and eyes as he dies making the Winchesters close their eyes.
"This is crazy." Mercury says.
"They can die. We can kill Lucifer." Kali states.
"All right you primitive screwheads, listen up." Dean says, standing up.
"Are you outta your mind?" Sam mutters to his brother.
"I'm outta options." Dean mutters back. He turns back to the others. "Now on any other given day, I'd be doing my damndest to, uh, kill you. You filthy murdering chimps. But, uh, hey, desperate times. So even though I'd love nothing better than to slit your throats, you dicks, I'm gonna help you. I'm going to help you ice the devil. And then we can all get back to ganking each other, like normal. You want Lucifer, well, dude's not in the yellow pages. But me and Sam, we can get him here."
"How?" Kali asks.
"First you let those main courses go. Then we talk. We can either take on the devil together, or you lame ass bitches can eat me. Literally." Dean states.
+++
They let the people go and Sam and Evie are alone in the ballroom with Kali and Baldur.
"So you're going to summon Lucifer?" Kali asks the Winchester brother.
"Sort of. I just need you to squeegee some stuff from my ribs and he'll come running." Sam says.
"Breaking them would be easier." Kali says.
Before the Winchesters can say anything, Dean walks back in.
"Show's over. Sword's a fake, and Gabriel, he's still kicking. I hate to break it to you sister, but you've been tricked." Dean states.
After a bit the lights flicker.
"What's happening?" Baldur asks.
"It's him." Sam states.
"How?" Kali asks.
"Does it matter? Shazam us outta here, would ya?" Dean asks.
"We can't." Baldur says, watching Lucifer walk in.
"Of course you can't." Lucifer states making everybody turn to him. Sam hides Evie behind him. "You didn't say "mother, may I?" Sam, Dean, good to see you again. Nice to meet you, little Evie." He smirks at the child. Sam hides Evie behind better.
"Baldur, don't." Kali warns as he goes to Lucifer.
"You think you own the planet? What gives you the right?" Baldur asks, walking up to Lucifer. Lucifer stabs Baldur with his own arm, his hand coming out of his back.
"No one gives us the right, we take it." Lucifer says.
Lucifer takes his arm out of Baldur, letting him fall to the floor. Kali's arms become engulfed in fire which she throws at Lucifer. Sam grabs Evie and him and Dean jump over a table and hide behind it as the flames backfire in the direction they were standing. Sam keeps Evie's face hidden so she doesn't possibly see any flames.
"You two okay?" Sam asks his family.
"Not really." They hear and turn to see Gabriel, cutting off the other two's answers. "Better late than never, right?" Gabriel hands Dean a copy of something. "Guard this with your life." Gabriel walks away.
"Luci, I'm home. Not this time." Gabriel says. "Guys! Get her outta here." Gabriel tells the family. They stand up, Sam holding Evie as close to him as possible, and the two brothers lead Kali outside.
"I'm not getting in that thing." Kali states, looking at the Impala.
"Just get in the car, princess." Dean tells her, getting in the driver's seat. Sam opens the door for Kali, shutting it after she gets in. He gets in the passenger seat, still holding Evie. Dean drives off.
========================
just realized it's november 2 :)