batfam oneshots

By alliumtoms

58.8K 1.6K 335

pls i wrote these a year ago More

The 'Say Yes To The Dress' Controversy
Pranks On Bruce (With Kindness)
That One Where Tim Reveals Jason Is Alive By Accident
He Didn't Say Hello Back!
The Brownie Incident
Don't Mess With Tim's Coffee
Tell My Children I'm Disappointed In Them
Batboys Reacting
Stupid Media and Their Secret Camera's
DaddyBats And His Criminals
Batboys Social Media
Waiters And Singers
Red Robin YUM!
I Gotta Go My Own Way
Pranks And Crossdressing
Time Travelling (it was on accident I swear!)
Heritage (brotherly bonding)
Jason Pranks Tim
Forever Missing Him
VineBuddies4Life
15 Batfam Headcanons
15 Batfam Headcanons Part 2
Silent Tears
Scars To Your Beautiful
Batfam Twitter
Introducing: Lex Luthor
and when he smiles...
mum talia <3
babysitting

Batfam Texts

2.2K 77 30
By alliumtoms


Dick: hey what r u doing?

Jason: reading a book

Dick: can u get me some toilet paper

Jason ...idk I'm just getting to the good part...

Dick: PLEEEEASE JAYYY

o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o

Tim: I got detention

Tim: This is all your fault

Jason: Me?! How is that my fault?!

Tim: she remembers you from her old class, and hated you!

Tim: she even yelled your name while yelling at me!

Jason: Ahah! Ms Blake, right?

Tim: I so hate you right now

o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o

Tim: Look, you guys

Tim: I don't know what day it is

Tim: And why you are doing this

Tim: But please stop

Jason: What?

Tim: OMG GUYS STOP

Dick: Tim? Are you okay?

Tim: I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO YOU GUYS! I'M A GOOD CHILD!

Damian: Drake has finally gone insane

Tim: I'M ACTUAL CRYING GUYS. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?

Tim: AGAIN?! STOPPP PLEASE. WHATEVER I'VE DONE, I'M SORRY!

Jason: I'm actually concerned. What have you guys done to Timbo?

Dick: Nothing!

Tim: GUYS SERIOUSLY. YOU SET MY RINGTONE TO SOMETHING REAL INNAPROPRAITE, MADE ME SIT ON A FART CUSHION IN CLASS, MY FRIENDS ARE GHOUSTING ME, PUT BALLOONS AND SPARKLES IN MY LOCKER (IT'S IN MY HAIR!), PUT A PICTURE OF DICK'S ASS EVERYWHERE AT SCHOOL, GLITCHED A A LAPTOP PLAYING 'RED ROBIN YUM' FOR ETERNITY, DIED MY COFFEE GREEN, THEN PUT A PICTURE OF BRUCE WITH LOVE HEARTS ALL OVER MY ROOM'S WALLS, OH NO! AND NOW, RED ROBIN, YUM! IS SPRAYPAINTED ON MY SUIT!!!

Damian: I laugh in your pain, Drake, but I did not do this

Jason: oMg iTs hApPeNiNg tO mE tOo

Damian: Where are my katanas? And why is my Robin suit dyed pink?

Dick: w h a t. why is there a picture of Bruce with hearts everywhere in the manor? OH GOD, MY NIGHTWING SUIT

Tim: WE MUST TAKE REVENGE ON EACH POTIENTIAL SUSPECT! SUPERHERO PRANK WAR

o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o

Dick: I cried when Mufasa died again

Tim: Poor boy

Damian: Grayson, is that the horse?

Dick: tHe HORSE!!!

Dick: DiD yOu jUst sAy HORSE!!

Damian: In my defence, I have never watched it

Dick: It'S CALLED THE LION KING!! FOR A REASON.

o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o

Jason: Who is this?

Jasom: I think Tim changed my contact names

Dick: What did he change it to?

Jason: The Chosen One

Dick: Don't change it back

Jason: BUT WHO R U?

o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o

Tim: Dude

Tim: Buttholes are like pockets

Tim: Like you can store stuff up there

Dick: No they're not

Dick: Get some sleep Tim

o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o

Jason: I just fell off a 50ft ladder. I need medical help urgently

Dick: OH MY GOD

Tim: How hurt are you?

Jason: Yeah, luckily I was on the first step

Damian: You troll, Todd.

o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o

Dick: Bruce wants you in the Batcave immediately

Damian: Why would Father want me there?

Damian: Did you find the bodies in the basement?

Dick: WHAT? NO?!

Damian: Nothing of your concern, Grayson

o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o

Tim: I can't sleep.

Jason: Well I can, goodnight

o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o

Jason: I'm not dumb right?

Damian: Well you did befriend some dumb people

Tim: HAHA! LiKe yOuR bOy tOy rOy

Jason: I hate you guys

o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o

Dick: Want to go prank Bruce

Tim: Hmmm

Jason: Depends if it's worth it

Dick: ...it may result in us being killed

Jason: A hobby of mine

Tim: Let's do it. I'm going to die of caffeine overdose anyways

Dick: timmy n o

o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o

Dick: Whats up guys?

Tim: We haven't texted on this groupchat in two weeks

Dick: So? It's cold outside and I'm bored

Jason: Oh I can keep you warm

Jason: By lighting you on fire

Damian: Enjoy the next 24 hours Grayson

o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o

Tim:

Tim: I just sent a blank text

Tim: I didn't even know those were possible

Dick: Tim, get some sleep and stop poisoning yourself with coffee

o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o

Jason: Hey guys

Jason: Wanna see an impression of my mom?

Jason Todd has left the chat

Next is social media 

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