Previously on In Love With The Devil,
When I reached my room I was already crying... Tears were coming down my cheeks and my whole body was trembling.
... What do I do now?
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Amy Raines
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...What do I do now?
I... can not marry like this... neither could I turn down my dad... But I... I always wanted to marry the guy I love... And not some... some random stranger... It was... It was not how it all was supposed to be... I...
How? How could all this happen so suddenly? Yesterday, everything was fine... I was... I was happy... smiling... looking forward to a happy future... But now?
And, why? Why would my dad do something like that? I thought loved me... I thought he knew what I wanted... but...
What happened that my parents decided to take this big decision without me? I know that they gave birth to me... He cared for me... He grew me up... But still, I am my own person... I should... I should have the right to make my own decisions...
Always... I always did what they wanted... From wearing what they approve... to having female friends only...
I always... I always wanted them... for once... let me make my own decisions... But now?
Can't I even decide whom I marry? Tears were coming endlessly and I was terribly shaking. My breathing became shallow dur to crying... I became a mess...
No matter what happens... I am not going to do what they want... Not anymore... Atleast not before hearing the whole truth behind this sudden revelation...
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I didn't know if I slept or not... Was I sleeping? Or was I lost in my thoughts?
You all might be thinking that I am overreacting... You all must be thinking that marrying a stranger is no big deal... That your parents will always choose the best for you...
But that's... That's wrong...
No one... No one knows what is best for you... more than you... I know, I know how my dad has became after my mom died... He could... He could do anything for money... And when I say anything... I mean it... You don't trust me?
He once, he once tried to sell my mom's wedding ring... When my mom died, he took... he took that ring from her finger and... sold it... My mom... It was my mom's favourite thing and he just... sold it...
He even ... He even took all the expensive things she had after she died... From her ring to her unused clothes... Even, even the things she made for me...
Can you... Can you believe that?
I don't know how I still love him... Maybe, maybe because my mom always taught me that my dad was the best... And that he always had a reason to do everything?
I always thought that my dad loved us... When he, sold all those things... I thought... I thought he needed money... When he made me beg money from my friends as a child, I thought... We needed help...
No, money was not tight... Money is not tight... He has... he has a nice income... He has money to buy my stepmom all the dresses she wants... He has the money to bring her three diamond jewelries... He has everything... But not for me...
Does that make you believe that my dad can do anything for money?
And that's why, that's why I want to marry someone I love... Someone I know... Someone who cares for me...
I don't know how much time I spent sitting at my staring at nothing... When a knock on the door made me jump slightly...
"Amy, are you awake?" And then... there ws that voice, the same voice who changed my dad... My stepmom...
"Y-yes" I don't know why my voice shook... Maybe because I haven't drank water since last night? Or maybe that my mouth can not form words anymore?
I don't know the answer of this question...
"Come downstairs. Now." And then I heard her footsteps fading away.
.....
"Good morning." My dad spoke up the moment I stepped in the living room.
I nodded my head and took a seat at the living room.
After sometime, I heard the same voice again...
"So..." I knew what was about to happen.
"Have you made your decision?" Have I? Have I made my decision yet? Do I know what I want? Can I... can I just decide who I want to marry in one day?
"Yes." I think I have...
"Hm?" He wanted answers and I looked at him. No.
"No. " I was unable to look him in the eyes. It was the first time I said 'no' to anyone... The feeling was different...
"No?" He raised his voice slightly and in no time I heard a loud voice...
I touched... I touched my cheek which was red... I looked to see my dad... My dad looking at me with pure anger and... hate?
He... He slapped me?
He slapped me...
Wow...
It was the first time he ever touched me... How could he?
I don't know what happened to me but... I felt sudden rage, hatred and disgust for him... How dare he slap me?
He is... He is my father! He is supposed to make me laugh... To make my happy...
And then I realised, that the man who was standing in front of me was not my dad... He was changed... He was a different man, a monster...
And then, then I don't know why and how I managed to say...
"I will marry him."
I will marry him. I can live anywhere but here. Hell is better than the place where your loved ones don't love you. Hell is better than the place where everything can be sold for money...
And I decide to live in hell.
"You will?" The stepmom came and I finally burst out.
"Yes. I will marry whoever you have decided for me to. But you know why? Because I can not live here... Not anymore... Call that person... Call that person with whom I am getting married! Tell him to take me away from here. Tell him!" I yelled at them and rushed to my room, grabbed my bags and left for the place I belong.
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"Are you okay, Ames?" A familiar voice came from behind me and I turned around to see Sophia frowning at me.
And all I could do was to nod my head... But in reality, I am not okay... I am far from okay...
Sometimes... Sometimes things do not go as planned... Sometimes you think that everything is... Okay... But in reality, nothing is... Okay... What is okay? Nothing... I don't want to live my life with that 'okay'...
Okay is just like a shade of gray colour... Okay is that thin line between black and white... That thin line between light and darkness... That thin line between hope and despair... Okay is separating what you want and what you need... Okay is just adjustment... Okay is just fitting in... We all are okay... No one is happy...
"You really think I am buying that?" She rolled her eyes at me.
This girl. This girl I everything I have got. This girl taught me how to smile after my mom died. This girl was always there for me.
I dont know why, but I threw my arms around her and hugged her...
Showing all my love for her...
Even in the next infinite lives, I cannot wish for a better friend than Sophia..
"Ames! What happened? Why are you crying?" Sophia broked the hug to look at me and I didn't realised that I was crying...
"Let me. Please." I begged her and she did let me cry. I cried all my heart out...
And when I became stable, I toled her... I told her everything... I told her how my father took my decision for me without me knowing... I told her how he slapped me... And then, I told her how I agreed to marry...
After I was done, I looked over to Sophia, and I was shocked to see her this angry... Her eyes were red and she had a look of pure hatred on her face...
"How could he? That mothertrucker! That filthy piece of-!"
I could not help but stare at her... How she continued to curse at me dad... And then, she suddenly hugged me... Making me jump in surprise.
But I also threw my arms at her.
"Whatever you are doing Ames, just know that I am with you." I smiled and I know that...
No matter what... This girl was, is and will always be there for me.
So, I decided to do what I want.
And that was to leave that hell hole.
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So, yeah guys. This was Chapter 4.
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