SOTD COLLAR FULL BY PANIC AT THE DISCO (ONE OF MY FAVES)
PS., DID YOU HEAR? I'M GOING TO BE STARTING A YOUTUBE CHANNEL IN THE UPCOMING MONTHS! THIS IS SLIGHTLY CRAZY FOR ME BUT I'M SUPER EXCITED TO START. I'DE LOVE TO KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS AND I'DE LOVE TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF YOUTUBE CONTENT YOU ENJOY WATCHING :)
~
"I...I...I can explain that"
This, my friends, was much easier said than done. I looked everwhere but at Andrew as the sound of my blood pounding, filled my ears.
"How can I explain that?" I whispered side eyeing Trish, who was, true to fashion, looking like a deer in headlights.
She instantly jumped up and nodded, "There's definitely a reason as to why there is a positive pregnancy test in Harper's purse...Just give me a second to remember that reason"
"Wait, What?" Andrew sputtered, "It's positive~ you've already taken it?"
You know how I always talk about Andrew's 'heavenly colouring?' and how I had never seen his golden complexion any less golden than I had the first day I met him? Yeah, well his skin got a whole lot less golden just then.
With his new found paleness, he ripped the box open despite the carefully placed tabs, and stared at the actual test with a look that bordered fear and extreme discomfort.
"That has pee on it" Tyler called out, shrinking back as I fixed her with a glare, "My bad"
"How did this happen, Harper?" Andrew whispered shakily putting the test on the table, refusing to look away from it, "How?"
"When a man and a woman love each other very much" Chandler stood up, putting his Mr. Roger's voice on and coming around the table, "They have urges. And sometimes these urges~"
"These urges were completely protected urges" Andrew snapped, rage clouding his features, "I've never practiced unsafe urges"
Ethan looked at Andrew with confusion, "Are we still talking about urges?"
Andrew shook his head, "Harper, you can't just stand there saying nothing...Please, say something"
His deep eyes finally met mine and, for the first time in a very long time; I was speechless. I literally had absolutely no clue what to say or do.
It wasn't one of those things where denying it would even help me because the moment I denied it, someone else would have to fess up; and the only person who needed to 'fess' couldn't do it. It didn't help that I hadn't gotten rid of the stupid kit in the first place, either. This was more my fault than it could've ever been Trish's since I had opened my big mouth and told her I would help her out...Look where helping got me.
"Uhm" I murmured picking at my cuticles, "I'm sorry?"
"You're sorry?" Andrew boomed running a hand through his hair rapidly. I flinched back at his volume and awaited what was sure to come, "How could you ever say that?"
"Wait, what?" It was Ethan who spoke but it was exactly what I had been thinking.
Andrew sighed and motioned at the kit, "How could you ever say you're sorry for something like this? Something that we both had a hand in doing?"
"Andrew, as an audience, we're really confused; are you mad or not?" Tyler hollered. I was sure Andrew was in a different state because if Tyler had ever said something like that normally, he would've glared at her and ignored the question. It was even weird airing something like this in front of the group; as Andrew was an incredibly private kind of person. The sheer fact that we were talking about this publicly meant that he really was in a different dimension.
"Of course I'm not mad" He replied softly, "I'm surprised, obviously but...I could never be mad at her for this"
In seconds, he closed the distance between us and rubbed my shoulder, "You've gotta know that"
I mutely nodded and he kissed my forehead gently.
"Wow" He whispered finally taking a step back, "I can't believe this"
"You're going to be a dad" Ethan muttered, a strange look crossing his features. Normally, I would've called him out on this but I was far too stunned to even speak.
"I'm going to be a dad" Andrew whispered slowly.
~
I was still waiting for Andrew to blow.
I mean, everyone had started bombarding me with questions about my 'pregnancy' but Andrew had just sat beside me with an oddly fixated smile on his face. It was a cross between the look you had when you were constipated in public and the look you gave your grandparents whenever they gave you a knitted sweater for Christmas.
"So, how far along are you?" my eyes snapped to attention as Sophia regarded me and I fought to make my eyes focus on her. As they all asked their questions, my eyes literally glazed over and it was like I wasn't even there. Tyler had absolutely no problem carrying the conversation
"Well, she isn't showing just yet and...have you had any symptoms? Not really, right? I wouldn't say you're any more than a few weeks" I knew absolutely nothing about being pregnant and was grateful that Tyler was playing doctor...even though I was pretty sure she was pulling it out of her backside. This was one of the few things that none of us knew much about and it was her chance to become expert for a change.
"This is so crazy" Kyle murmured giving me a small smile, "Were you scared when you found out?"
"Devastated" I nodded giving Trish a quick look. She was sat cuddled with Seth, a look of absolute torture on her face while Seth was beaming.
"I can't believe you didn't think you could tell any of us" He sighed, "We would've been there for you"
I looked around the room and everyone had the same look on their face. Trish noticed this and coughed,
"Well, this isn't something you hear everyday. She needed her time and space so she could collect her thoughts"
Everyone nodded understanding of this fact when all of a sudden, Andrew shifted towards me, "We're going to have to tell your parents and my aunt"
"No!" I snapped.
His eyes widened before he nodded, "You're right, it's too early. We still need to figure all of this out; together"
Just the sheer tenderness in his voice made my heart constrict and I gave him a forced smile, "Together"
He took hold of my hand and brought it to his lips with a small smile, "There's going to be an Andrew junior running around, soon"
"What if it's a girl?" Kyle grinned at Andrew's words. Chandler whooped with laughter at this and Seth joined in.
Andrew shrugged, "Andrew-ella?"
Despite myself, I burst out laughing and his eyes crinkled, "Shut up, it's a pretty name"
"She'll never get dates" Chandler shrieked giving his friend a look, "On second thought, I like that name"
"You're going to be that one uncle with the shot gun standing in the corner during prom" Tyler physically shivered and looked at Chandler in disgust.
"You bet your ass I will...I apologize for not wanting a Tyler junior for a niece" Tyler muttered something unintelligible at this and I gulped.
I hated this. I hated how happy Andrew was, I hated how Chandler wouldn't shut up about being an uncle, I hated the way Trish refused to meet my eyes, I hated the way Sophia was smiling at me with admiration, and I hated the way Ethan wouldn't stop staring at me.
"Can I help you?" I snapped. He raised his eyebrows slowly as everyone turned to him confused.
"Harper, can I talk to you for a second?"
The look in his eyes told me everything.
Mustering up as much courage as I could, I followed Ethan as he pulled the front door open and motioned for me to get into the hall, following closely behind me.
The moment I got outside, I realized that I couldn't let Ethan call me out. I had to save some of my dignity and wipe the stupid smug look off his face; and that, my friends, is how I totally screwed up.
"Fine, I'm not pregnant!" I hissed. Now, this would've been totally fine had Ethan grumbled, "I know you aren't pregnant" at the exact same time..but he didn't.
"Don't let Chandler build the crib"
My eyes widened as he regarded me with absolute confusion, "Wait, that's what you called me out here to say?"
"Yeah...I wanted to tell you not to let Chandler help you build a crib...and to personally congratulate you" He said slowly, "but I guess you won't need it; the crib I mean...or the congratulations"
"You can't tell Andrew" I murmured just as he went,
"You've gotta tell Andrew"
Great, of course we would have the same train of thought, now.
"Harper! What kind of person lies about being pregnant besides groupies and crazy chicks?" Ethan yelled. I easily jumped up and clamped my hand over his mouth, accidentally pushing him back in the process. His head hit the door with a loud bang and he yelled in pain.
"SHH"
"What's going on?" I heard Andrew's grumble as he swung the door open and Ethan and I practically fell right in. Andrew's eyes clouded slightly as he noticed the way Ethan had held onto me as both of our lives flashed before our eyes. Like fire, Ethan threw his hands down and settled for rubbing the back of his head instead.
"Harper has something she wants to tell you" Ethan murmured quietly, which obviously wasn't quietly enough because Tyler cackled at his words.
"She's having twins!"
"Would you shut the hell up, Tyler?" Ethan snapped giving her a glare. She practically shrunk back into the couch at his outburst and Kyle stared at him confused.
"Calm down, E"
Ethan ignored this and looked at me. I easily turned away from him and I heard him snort, "Real classy, Harper"
"Am I missing something?" Andrew coughed glaring at Ethan.
Ethan rolled his eyes and shook his head, "No...but your girlfriend is"
With that, he went right back to the couch and dropped down next to Kyle, who gave him a questioning look. He just shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest, staring daggers at me.
"There's something I need to tell you" I whispered hoarsely turning away from Ethan and looking into Andrew's eyes. I took multiple breaths but it didn't make it any easier. Figures, telling him I wasn't pregnant was tougher than telling him I was...when I really wasn't.
"Go ahead" he muttered slowly looking from me to Ethan quickly.
With a breath, I turned to Trish, "I'm so sorry"
"Harper, wait" Trish abruptly stood up, "If they're going to hear it; they're going to hear it from me"
I gave her a small nod and watched as she turned to Seth, hands folded between her shirt.
"That test isn't Harper's"
If there was anyone in the room who I figured would've handled the news of a baby graciously, it was Seth. Andrew, so I had thought, would have stomped away in a quiet brooding; Chandler would make it a joke in hopes of not having to believe it; and Ethan would probably try to come up with every reason why it couldn't be possible.
It wasn't that they were bad guys. I mean, eventually I knew they would each carry their weight and be men about the situation but there was going to be that initial reaction. That initial reaction where nothing makes sense to you anymore, the one where you kind of realize that your childhood has just come to an abrupt stop. But that was why I loved Seth and Trish so much; they were like the mom and dad of the group, keeping us all in line and making sure we were always okay.
In my mind, they fit those categories so well but in that moment, I realized they were still just kids...
"Stop" He whispered, voice barely above an octave, "Don't say it"
"Seth, I'm pregnant" Trish's jaw trembled as Seth shook his head quickly.
"No you're not. No you're not, Trish" He quickly stood up and paced the room, careful not to even touch her, "You're on the pill"
My eyed widened at this as it was news I hadn't been aware of and I turned to Andrew in quite apology.
"We'll talk about it later" Andrew whispered gently touching my arm before staring at the scene before us.
"Did you lie to me, then? Did you tell me you were on the pill so you could make this happen? So you could ruin my life?" Seth boomed, angrier than I had ever seen him in all my time of knowing him. He turned an accusatory finger on Trish and she flinched,
"It isn't mine"
"Seth" Andrew's voice was low and guttural, "Stop it"
Seth let out a dry laugh at his cousins words, "Whose baby is it, Trish?"
Tears were now freely flowing down Trish's face and the look in every ones eyes were the same. We all wanted to comfort her and hug her but the air in the room had us all rooted in place. It was like Seth's anger and Trish's pain were bonds, holding us all.
"Who else's would it be?" She cried as his green eyes flashed.
"I never know with you" He spat, "You lied about being on the pill, you must've lied about a lot more"
My jaw dropped as I picked up the meaning behind his words and I physically stepped back. This was not the Seth I knew.
"I didn't lie about being on the pill, I was on it but I was having reactions to it so I had to switch to a new kind...I'm pretty sure that's when this happened, it's the only explana~"
"Get out" Seth whispered as his green eyes went glassy, "Get out"
Trish shook her head, "Please, Seth. I'm begging you to just listen"
She made a move to touch him and he jumped backwards with his hands up, "Seth"
"Get out of my house, Trish" just the way he said her name made it sound so wrong and vile, as if it were linked to something to hold hate towards.
"Stay where you are, Trish" Andrew murmured as she took a step back. Seth's eyes flashed towards Andrew's and they engaged in a stare off that made my stomach turn.
"Fine" Seth hissed, "If she won't get the hell out, I will"
Without a second glance, he headed straight for the door and slammed it shut behind him with a force that made the books on the shelf, come crashing down.
The moment he left, it was as if the hold on our bodies broke and Andrew jumped to Trish's side as she sagged to the ground in a heap of her own tears.