Zayn's POV
"Ladies and gentlemen, the pilot has turned the seatbelt sign back on. We are beginning our final descent into London, England." the flight attendant says over the intercom. I look over at Briley who is still asleep on my shoulder and buckle her up, doing my very best not to wake her. I check the time: 2:24 PM in London. Our flight should land right on schedule. About twenty minutes later, around 2:45 PM, the front wheels of the plane hit the pavement causing Briley to jump awake. I smile at her and take her hand.
"We're here, baby. It's okay." I tell her quietly. She smiles and looks out the window.
"It's gorgeous here." she says sleepily. I look out the window and notice the sky is gloomy and raining. I look back at her.
"It's raining." I point out. She shakes her head, looking back out the window.
"Gloomy weather is my favorite." she replies as the plane comes to a stop at the gate.
"Well, you'll love London, then." I tell her as we unbuckle, grab our bags, and head off the plane.
I carry her carry-on bag throughout the airport for her, despite her protests. We get our luggage from baggage claim and head outside where the car that Louis called for us is waiting. We get in and the driver starts off to my flat. We run in quickly to drop off her bags, then we get back in the car and start off to Liam's flat to pick him up. Briley was really excited to hang out with all of the lads, so we're heading to Princess Park. We're picking up Liam and Niall on the way. Once we arrive at Liam's flat, I call him.
"Z! You here?" he picks up.
"Waiting outside." I respond. I can tell Briley's excitement is building more and more with every passing minute. I know she's really happy to be in London.
"Be out in a second!" Liam tells me, hanging up. A moment later, Liam runs out of his building and quickly to the car so he can get out of the pouring rain. Once he sees Briley he hugs her tightly. "Bri! I've missed you so much! Oh my god, it's so good to see you again! How have you been since everything?" he asks her. She shrugs and looks over at me.
"I've been doing so much better recently. I'm practically fully recovered now. Zayn has been taking good care of me." she tells him. He smiles like he knows something.
"Oh, I see. Well I'm happy that you're happy and recovered." he says to her, smirking at me. I roll my eyes a little and smile.
At this point, I think all of the lads have the sense that Briley and I are back together, even though we haven't explicitly told any of them. The car takes off again and after about five minutes, we pull up to Niall's flat. He must have been waiting in the lobby because he runs out to the car before I can even dial his phone number.
"Briley! I missed you!" he says, hopping into the car and hugging her before sitting down on the other side of Liam. The driver turns around and faces me.
"Princess Park?" he asks me.
"Yes, please." I tell him. He nods and starts off on the five minute drive. Things seem to be going really well. Everyone is catching up, and Briley seems happier than I've seen her in a while, which makes me smile like an idiot. Finally, we pull up to Louis' and Harry's flat. Briley takes a deep breath and is the last out of the car. I knock on the front door and Louis answers. He hugs Briley tightly and spins her around.
"Oh, darling! I missed you so much! How was Malibu?" he asks her as we all file inside.
"Boring without you of course. And sad for a while, until Zayn arrived. Thank you so much for sending him." she tells Louis. Louis looks back and forth between us.
"My pleasure. Let me see if I can get Harry down." Louis says. I feel Briley's energy completely switch. I don't know if she's ready to see him. I don't even know if she knows if she's ready to see him. I grip her hand tightly and she looks up at me. She gives me a fake smile and I know she knows I can see right through it. But it's okay, I'm just happy to be a source of strength for her right now. Who knows what's going to happen when she sees Harry. "Hazza! Guests!" Louis yells up the stairs. No response. Louis sighs and looks to Briley who looks nervous and tries to hide the fact that she's becoming upset. He gives her a quick hug and turns to the rest of us. "Show her around?" he asks us. We all nod and start leading her around the house.
Louis' POV
I walk upstairs. I knock on Harry's door and then try the handle; it's locked.
"Harry, open up. I know you're in there." I say through the door.
"Are the lads here?" he asks me.
"Yes." I reply.
"I'm asleep." he tells me. I sigh again.
"I'll get the key." I threaten. I hear some muffled noises and he opens the door.
"Why do you always have to threaten me with the key?" he pouts.
"Why do you always have to lock your door?" I respond. He crosses his arms.
"My door is locked for a reason you know. I'm going to hide the key from you one of these days." he mumbles.
"Until then, can you come downstairs, please?" I ask. He sighs and hugs me tightly.
"I don't know if I'm ready to see Zayn. I'm sure he and Briley are back together and I don't know if I can handle being around him. I'm still in love with her." he tells me as he releases me.
"Downstairs. We'll do it together. Come on." I tell him, pulling him towards the stairs.
I hope he'll be okay with Briley being here. I didn't tell him Zayn was bringing her back with him, just that Zayn was coming back early. I knew that if I told him, he would make sure to not be here when she arrived, and I think seeing her will be good for him, even though I know she's back together with Zayn. We start walking down the stairs, him in front of me, and he stops dead in his tracks when he sees Briley, who is wrapped up in Zayn's arms.
"Bri?" he says quietly, fully frozen on the second to last stair. Briley turns to face him and freezes as well. Zayn releases her. Harry looks at Zayn. "A minute, please?" Harry asks him. Zayn nods and I push Harry down the stairs to make room for the other lads to come up with me.
"Alright lads, let's go on up to my room shall we? We shall, Louis! Okay, let's go. Okay, Louis!" I say, ushering them all upstairs quickly. I wait until all three of them have passed me and follow them. We go upstairs quickly and I lock the door once we're all in my room.
Harry's POV
"What are you doing here? I thought..." I trail off, still in slight shock and disbelief by the fact that Bri's actually here right now. Is this real?
"Zayn was homesick and he knew how sad I was being away from all of you so he offered to bring me back here for the summer. Louis didn't tell you I was coming?" she asks.
"No, he didn't. For the summer?" I ask. She nods. "The whole summer?" I ask again. She nods again. I take a breath and we sit down, waiting in silence for a few seconds. "So... you and Zayn are... together again?" I ask slowly. She looks away from me and nods.
"Yeah... we are." she says quietly. I let her words hang in the air for a second as I figure out what to say. I have so many things to say to her. I don't even know where to start.
"Bri, I didn't mean what I said on the phone..." I start to explain. She cries silently.
"I'm not upset about that. I know you didn't mean what you said. I knew as soon as you said it that it wasn't what you meant. But why didn't you call? Or text? Or anything? I spent so much time just waiting by my phone with my ringer on hoping you'd call and I could hear your voice again. That's all I wanted." she says sadly. God, I feel like such an asshole.
"I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to make it worse." I respond. She shakes her head.
"No, Harry. Don't you get it? All I wanted was to not miss you anymore. All I wanted was to hear from you. It wouldn't have mattered what you said. We could have just sat in silence on the phone and I would have been happy with that. But you didn't even reach out. I was starting to feel like you didn't love me anymore." she says. I start crying and move closer to her.
"Princess, I do love you... and I didn't mean to hurt you like that. I've been killing myself since the moment I hung up the phone that day. I haven't even been able to really leave the house because I've been so torn up about it all. I'm so sorry I never reached out. I guess part of me deep down thought you didn't want to hear from me. You're my whole world and I just want you to be happy. I'm so sorry." I tell her softly as I wrap my arms around her. She wraps her arms around me and we cry together for a moment.
"Please... never do to me that again." she says as she stops crying and wipes a tear from my cheek. She rests her hand on my cheek and I lean into her touch a bit. I smile weakly and stop crying too.
"I promise." I whisper, leaning in to kiss her. She pushes me away lightly. I sit up and nod. "... Are you... happy?" I ask her, referring to her relationship with Zayn. She looks away from me as she ponders for a while, then finally opens her mouth to answer.
"Are you done yet?!" Lou yells down the stairs. I sigh and look up.
"Yeah, we're done!" Briley calls back before I can get her answer. I look back at her but she avoids eye contact and stands up. As she paces away from me, I hear quick footsteps coming down the stairs.
"Hey, baby." Zayn says hugging Briley, and then kissing her. She pulls away quickly and I can tell he wanted more than she gave him, but he lets it go. She looks up at him and continues ignoring me even though I know she can feel my eyes on her. "Are you okay?" he asks her quietly. She nods and gives him a fake smile before sitting across the room on the couch.
He doesn't seem to see through that fake smile--or if he does, he doesn't seem to care enough to mention it--but I see through it. I see through it as clear as day. I can tell she's uncomfortable and unhappy; I can feel it. I just wish I could comfort her, but I also know that I'm the reason she's not happy. It breaks my heart.
It hurts so much more to see them together now than it did the first time they were together. I think it's because this time, I know that our love wasn't just in my head. I know it wasn't unrequited. It was magical and perfect and unlike anything either of us have ever experienced. I don't know how I'm supposed to sit by and silently watch as we pretend to ignore that. Her love makes me feel like I can walk on water. Now, watching her give that to someone else--to Zayn of all people--makes me feel like I'm sinking fast.
Zayn sits right next to her and rests his hand on her thigh. She leans into him. I turn my eyes to the floor as everyone else sits down and starts to talk and catch up happily, as though nothing is wrong. I just want to go right back upstairs and go to sleep for a year. Lou sits next to me and gives me a comforting smile. While I appreciate the sentiment, it doesn't really help at all. I look down at the floor again as Liam asks Zayn how it was being back in Malibu.
"It was really, really good. Honestly, I think it was exactly what I needed. It gave me a sense of closure that I didn't really get when we all left. It felt like I was able to give a proper goodbye to Malibu. Plus I got to spend all of my time with this one, so it was really good." he says, smiling down at Briley. I close my eyes and keep my head down. That could have been me. That should have been me. Why the fuck didn't I go to Malibu? Lou was right: I regret not going way more than I ever would have regretted going.
If I can make it through tonight, it will seriously be a miracle.
Briley's POV
After about an hour of catching up, our conversations halt for the most part and we all sit in silence in the living room: Zayn watching me, me watching Harry, Harry staring blankly at the floor, Liam talking to Niall quietly, Louis watching me and Zayn and Harry. I feel so awkward and tense, even though I know no one else can feel it. I know Zayn is worried about me. He is usually really gentle with me anyway, but I can tell he's being even gentler now. I sort of appreciate it, but I also sort of wish I could just talk to Harry some more.
I still feel so drawn to him. Out of everyone else in this room, Harry's the only one I actually want to talk to or be around at the moment. All I want to do is talk to him, and keep talking to him. All I want to do is get up and go sit by him so that I can be closer to him. I keep my eyes glued on him. He looks so damn sad. It breaks my heart. I want to fix it. I want to jump into his arms and say it's all okay, but I can't. And it fucking kills me. I start to realize the more I watch Harry, the more upset I make myself, so I start trying to listen in on Liam and Niall's slightly muted conversation.
I can't exactly hear what they're talking about. They're doing a really good job at speaking in low, hushed tones. Part of me wonders if they're talking about Zayn and me. I decide probably not. I don't think anyone actually cares that much that Zayn and I are back together. Anyone other than Harry anyway. Which, to me, Harry's is really the only opinion that matters. So I guess, in a way, everyone cares that Zayn and I are back together.
I start to get a puzzled look on my face just as I watch Harry pull out his phone and smile slightly at the screen. My heart drops as he types something in and shoves his phone back into his pocket, letting his charming, warm smile fade once again. Who's text was he smiling at?
"Baby, are you okay?" Zayn asks me quietly. I look up at him and nod.
"Yeah. Yeah, I-I'm good. Just thinking." I lie with a small smile. This catches Harry's attention. He can feel me lying from across the room, I know he can. Liam and Niall carry out their conversation. Zayn pulls me closer and I can feel Harry's energy shift. We're still so connected to each other, it's overwhelming. It's like I'm feeling double the emotions: his and mine. I sigh and look down at my hands, sort of wishing I could somehow sever this empathetic tie that still connects Harry and me.
"What are you thinking about? Is everything okay?" Zayn asks me. I know he wants me to look at him, but I can't bring myself to move my gaze. I feel like if I look at Zayn, I'll be hurting Harry, but if I look at Harry, I'll be hurting Zayn. But if I don't look at Zayn, he'll know something is wrong and that I'm lying to him. I wish this would all stop. Liam and Niall's attention is on me too, now, as they've realized something is wrong with me. The tension in the room rises as they all wait for my delayed answer. It's like they can all hear my internal monologue and I hate it. I finally work up some nerve and look up at Zayn.
"I'm okay. I'm just thinking about college. That's all." I lie again. The whole room practically sighs of relief--or at least, that's what it feels like to me--and goes back to what they were doing. Harry looks back down at his phone, this time not stopping to smile. A moment later, I get a text from him.
"Can we talk... please?"
Suddenly, I feel really annoyed with Harry. Why do we have to be so damn connected to each other? Why does he have to keep complicating things for me? Just like at the start of summer, everything he does still affects me and I honestly kind of hate it. I look up at Zayn and kiss him. Harry sighs and shakes his head, his whole body dropping a little bit.
"I'll be back in a few minutes. I just need to talk to Harry real quick." I tell Zayn quietly as I walk over to Harry and take his arm, starting to drag him out the door.
"I love you!" Zayn calls after me, catching everyone's attention again. I turn back and smile at him.
"I love you too." I respond as convincingly happily as possible. I pull Harry faster and grip his wrist tighter. Once we get outside I shut the door behind me, still not letting go of his hand.
"Ow! Briley, please." Harry tells me as he tries to take my hand off of his wrist. I release and he shakes his hand. "Thank you." he says, sounding a little annoyed. I look out at the pavement as the rain hits the dark road.
"What do you want to talk about?" I ask him, trying to hide my annoyance, but failing. He looks at me, confused as to why I'm so annoyed. To be honest I'm confused, too. He doesn't say anything. "Okay, fine, I'll start. Who were you texting?" I ask him. He looks at me confused again.
"You?"
"No, before that. You were smiling at your phone, who was it?" I ask. He smirks a little, knowing I'm jealous. I could do more to hide my jealousy, but I'm over hiding my feelings to save face.
"My mum. Now that I'm back in London, she wants to see me." he explains. I sigh and shake my head. Of course it was his mom. God, I'm so stupid and dramatic sometimes. It's insufferable. I look back at him and he keeps smirking at me. "Jealous?" he asks. I roll my eyes.
"Alright, your turn. What do you want to talk about?" I ask him. His face drops and he avoids eye contact. I sigh as my annoyance grows. "What's wrong Harry? I thought we were good now. At least Zayn tried to be happy when you and I were together, why can't you do the same?" I ask him. He still stays completely silent and keeps his eyes on the ground. "Fine, you don't wanna talk anymore? That's fine, I'll just go talk to my boyfriend." I tell him as I place my hand on the door knob. He grabs my wrist and yanks me back to him. He holds onto me for a second before he finally drops my arm. I see the sad look on his face and my frustration starts to melt away.
I do love him. I can't forget it or make it stop no matter how hard I try. Maybe that's why I'm so annoyed. I place my hand in his, intertwining our fingers. His arm tenses up a bit and he looks down at our hands. He's nervous. I find it extremely cute and actually start to smile, but I suppress it as I wait for him to speak up.
"I just... I love you. And I know you feel the same way but... I just don't know. I guess seeing one of my best mates obsess over the girl I know I'm supposed to be with kills me inside in a way it didn't use to... And I feel like I can't do this anymore." he says. I soften up a bit. He still thinks we're meant to be together? I know I still feel that way too, but what can I do about it now? I'm with Zayn. We just got back together.
"What? What is it you can't do anymore?" I ask him as we sit down on the front porch steps, still out of the rain. He shrugs.
"I don't know. Lately I've been thinking about... quitting... One Direction." he mutters softly. I pull my hand away and give him a surprised look.
"Why would you quit One Direction? That would be awful! The boys need you! How could you even think of doing that to them? And your fans? And what about you? Harry, this is your dream. You can't." I tell him. He takes my hand again and pulls me closer to him.
"Please come back." he says quietly. I soften again and lean into him. "One Direction is kind of the thing that got in between me and you in the first place. It's a lot of pressure, and I don't know if I can do it. Plus, being in One Direction means being around Zayn all the time and I'm sure it'll get easier eventually, but I'm not sure if I'll ever fully get over the fact that you two are together." Harry replies. I sigh and my shoulders drop.
I'm so sick of this already and I haven't even been here for a full day yet. I'm sick of being around Harry and not being able to kiss him or hold his hand or love him at all. The truth is, I still love him so bad it hurts. Every piece of me is still just as drawn to him as when we first met, if not more now. Trying to keep myself away from him physically and emotionally seems more impossible than ever and hurts way worse than it ever did before.
I shake my head, deciding I'm done fighting it. I stand up, walk inside quietly so no one hears me, grab mine and Harry's coats, my purse (which still has a change of clothes and my toothbrush in it form the flight), and Harry's car keys from the foyer and run back out, still managing to stay quiet and out of sight. I toss him his keys and drag him to his car. We hop in and he starts the car, obviously very confused, but still going with the flow.
"Where are we going?" he asks me. I shrug.
"Your favorite place within driving distance. I don't care where I just need to get out of here."
"Did you tell anyone? I mean we can't just leave, can we? What about Zayn?" he asks.
"No, I don't care. I'm sick of this. I don't want anyone to know. I just need to get away from everyone for a bit and be with you. Like you said, you love me and I love you and I'm already really fucking sick and tired of not acting like it." I tell him. He smiles and looks at me. I look at him too. He leans over and kisses me passionately, killing every ounce of care left in me. He pulls away and we both blush and laugh quietly.
"I'm going to hell." he says, putting the car in reverse and driving out of the neighborhood. "Would you consider 6 hours to be 'driving distance'." he asks, not taking his eyes off the road. I raise an eyebrow.
"Fuck it. Why not. What's 6 hours away?" I ask back. He smiles.
"Have you ever been to Paris?"