Xena felt her heart explode in her chest as she watched the smaller woman cry. Venus' arm was now lying by her side, her gun no longer pressed against her temple like it had been just a few seconds before.
Xena didn't care. She didn't care about anything besides the woman in front of her. Honestly, it scared her the way her heart seemed to break into a million pieces the longer she watched her cry.
"Venus-"
"No Xena." Venus suddenly said, interrupting her. The small woman brought her face up, her light eyes grazing hers. "I can't kill you. No matter how hard I try, I can't kill you."
Xena thought she must have gone crazy because her heart had fallen at this news. It was then that she realized she was willing to die if it meant Venus lived. She gulped audibly.
"They're just going to come after you." Venus' voice shook with fear as she spoke. "They're going to torture you. They'd make sure you die a slow and painful death."
Xena didn't care. "Venus, you have to shoot me or else you'd die."
The smaller woman looked up at her and shook her head. "I can't, I refuse to."
Looking into Venus' eyes, Xena knew she wasn't going to do it. She knew that Venus wouldn't hurt her. She might be an Assassin, but all of that seemed irrelevant in that moment.
"You need to stay away from me." Venus murmured, getting to her feet. "Please, get away from here. Tell the rest of the FBI about what I told you so they can protect you, it'd be harder for Richard Mascetti and his other Assassins to get to you."
Xena didn't care about any of that. Xena got to her feet too, reaching out she grabbed Venus, pulling the younger woman into her.
Instantly, Venus pushed her away. "What's wrong with you? I just told you to stay away from me."
Xena reached out, grabbing hold of the younger woman once again and pulling her towards her. She needed to feel her, needed to have her close to her.
Once again, Venus pushed her away, this time more aggressive than before. "What the fuck is wrong with you? I just tried to kill you, what are you doing?"
Xena paid no attention as she reached out once again, but Venus slapped her hand away mid-air. The smaller woman looked at her incredulously from eyes that were still watery. "I just tried to kill you. I'm a threat to you! Stay the fuck away from me, Xena, stay away!"
Xena reached out again. Venus slapped her hand away again.
"Don't you have any self-preservation? You're crazy! I'm an Assassin, I kill people, you're an FBI Agent, a bad one apparently seeing as you still haven't turned me in."
Xena reached out. This time Venus kicked her in her shin. Hard. Doubling over, Xena squeezed her eyes shut. It hurt her, but the pain was nothing compared to the one in her chest. After a few seconds she straightened up, looking at Venus that was panting heavily. Fresh tears streaming down the younger woman's face.
There were a few moments of silence. During these moments neither of the women reacted. Both of them just looked at the other with tears streaming from their faces.
Xena reached out again. This time, Venus didn't fight her. She allowed the taller woman to pull her close, burying her wet face in the crook of her neck.
Xena released a breath she hadn't realized that she was holding once her body came in contact with the smaller woman's. A calm crossed over her and she held the Venus close, scared that she would dissolve from her very arms. Scared that she'd try and fight her way out of her grip all over again.
"I can't turn you in." Xena whispered into the smaller woman's hair. "I've tried to, I really just can't turn you in."
"You're crazy." Venus replied, her voice was shaking as she spoke, it was clear to Xena that she was still crying. "You're fucking crazy, you're horrible at your job."
Despite herself, Xena smiled slightly. "So are you, here you are embracing your target, you're meant to have killed me."
"I won't kill you, Xena." Venus said, breaking free of her grip, glaring at her. "You need help, you need protection. You also need psychological help since you can't see just how dangerous I am to you, and since you're practically begging me to kill you." Venus' voice had risen as she spoke. "What is it, huh? Are you suicidal now? Is that it? Or are you just fucking stupid?"
All Xena could think about was how hot Venus looked when she yelled at her. Xena reached out for her. The smaller woman wasn't having it this time. She slapped Xena straight across her face, causing her eyes to widen in shock.
"If you come near me again, I'm going to just keep hitting you." Venus said as tears flowed down her cheeks, "it hurts me so much to do so, but since you apparently don't realize how dangerous I am, maybe I'd remind you."
There was a moment of silence in which Xena just stared at Venus, clutching the area where the woman had slapped her. It stung. But the mere thought of even losing Venus stung more.
"I'm a monster. You said so yourself. Please see that I'm a monster and stay away from me."
"You're not a monster, Venus."
"But I am!"
There was silence between the women. Xena took a step towards Venus who immediately responded by raising her hand in a fist, warning Xena that she would hit her if she proceeded any further.
"I know who you are," Xena said softly, "I know who you really are, deep inside."
"I've killed people." Venus growled in response.
"Yes." Xena said. "Maybe you're right, maybe you are a monster. But I want you, Venus. For what it's worth, I don't think you're a monster and if you are the Beast you think you are after all, then call me Belle." Xena stopped then and laughed at her own joke. She stopped laughing after a while, Venus was glaring at her.
"You need help, Xena." Venus mumbled. Her voice was low. "You need serious help."
"What I need is you."
The second the words left her mouth, Xena dived for Venus. Both women fell back unto her bed and began struggling. Venus reached up, punching her multiple times. Xena was able to dodge most of the punches, but some of them landed on her, leaving bruises in their wake.
Xena finally managed to get hold of Venus' arms, pinning them above her head as she looked down on her. She was seated, straddling the woman in the same position they had been in earlier on. They were both panting heavily, their warm breaths caressing the other's face gently.
"I love you, Venus."
The words escaped Xena's mouth, but she didn't regret it, not in the slightest. She needed for Venus to know; she needed to get it out there.
Venus was crying once again. It was all they both seemed to do lately. "Please don't say that you're only making things harder." There was an anger in her voice, but the pain seeping through was louder.
"But I do. I love you. I love you with everything in me." Xena whispered, looking down at the crying woman. "If you really want me to stay away, tell me that you don't love me. Tell me you don't feel the same way about me as I feel about you."
"Fuck, Xena."
"Tell me that and I'd leave you alone."
Xena's heart was beating hard in her chest as she awaited the younger woman's response. Venus opened her mouth and closed it again, but no words came out. Her large glossy eyes continued staring up at the woman above her.
"Do you love me Venus?" Xena's voice was barely a whisper. A teardrop fell from her face, landing directly on Venus' forehead.
There was a moment of silence. A moment of inactivity.
The next thing Xena knew, warm lips were pressed against hers. She let go of Venus' arms as she bent down, kissing the woman deeply. They both cried as they kissed.
"I love you." Venus sobbed into the kiss. "You're the only person I've ever loved."
Xena thought that she might pass out. Once again, her world seemed to be spinning around her, but this time, she was spinning in a good way.
She didn't care about anything, all she could focus on was there and now, all she could see was Venus. She touched her, all over her body, scared that she'd vanish before her.
That wasn't enough for either woman, and soon they had both stripped up their clothes and were lying in each other's arms. Their chests rising and falling in sync.
Xena held Venus' naked body close to hers, relishing in her soft feel, never wanting to let her go.