Venus was engulfed by the scent of Xena. The soft smell of vanilla was everywhere. She felt as if she was eternally falling into Xena.
By the time she woke up the next morning, she realized why that was. She was lying in an unknown bed, which Venus figured to be Xena's. The sheets were so soft, nothing compared to the scruffy sheets she had back in her apartment.
A faint memory crossed through Venus' mind of last night, of being carried into the bed and Xena sleeping next to her. The longer she thought about it, she realized it wasn't just a memory.
Venus felt a light, unrecognizable flutter in the pit of her stomach. Sleeping in someone else's bed wasn't anything she had ever done, unless she was having sex with them. But even then, it didn't mean anything at all, not like this. Something was different about this.
This was the first night in a while that Venus had slept throughout. Uninterrupted, at peace. This was something that Venus didn't think was possible for her to have. The nameless faces did not float in her dreams last night. The dark memories did not surface.
Looking over to the other side of the bed, Venus saw it was empty. She slowly got to her feet, taking a quick glance around the room. It was a large room, but very minimalist. Everything was placed in a particular order, neatly. Venus felt like she was interrupting the whole 'neat' theme that the room had going on. She bent down and pulled the duvet up, concealing the unmade bed beneath.
Immediately Venus stepped out of the room she was overcome by the familiar smell of bacon and eggs, paired with the sound of her stomach growling. It was as if she was under a spell as she walked towards the direction of the smell.
"Good morning." It was Xena. She was standing in the kitchen wearing nothing but shorts and a tank top. Venus found her eyes lingering on her long toned legs, which were on full exposure.
"Good morning." She said back to her meekly.
"Did you sleep well?"
Venus didn't have a word to describe just how "well" she had slept, so she didn't say anything, just nodded.
Venus felt shy all of a sudden. She settled down at the kitchen island as she watched Xena cook, sneaking glances at the taller woman who was softly humming as she turned the eggs over in a pan. Her hair was messy and kept falling into her eyes, but she still looked beautiful. Absolutely unreal. Venus found her eyes trailing over to Xena's arms. She admired the muscular build, wondering what it would feel like to touch it.
After a few more minutes of just watching her, Xena turned around, setting down a full plate of English breakfast in front of Venus. It was just like the one she had cooked for her last time.
Excitement filled Venus just looking at the food before her.
Xena set down an identical plate for herself and poured orange juice into glasses for the both of them before settling down opposite from Venus.
The meal was eaten in silence. It wasn't a weird silence, rather; it was a strange sort of comfortable silence. Venus savored the food in her mouth. The last time Xena had cooked for her, she had puked every last bit up. She was determined to not have a repeat of that event. Venus bit into her toast, relishing in the way the butter melted on it and tasted in her mouth.
"You've got some butter on your lips," Xena suddenly said to her, smiling slightly.
Venus instinctively felt her neck heat up in embarrassment and she moved her hand up trying to clean off the butter.
"Can I?" Xena asked, stretching out her arm.
Venus hesitated for a moment, then she slowly nodded.
Xena carefully brought her thumb to Venus' lips, lingering for a moment before removing the piece of butter that she had missed.
"There."
Xena had gone back to her food, eating it in silence. However, Venus was still feeling the tingles from the place on her lips where Venus' thumb had brushed. She felt the back of her neck heating up. This seemed to be the case whenever she had skin-on-skin contact with the other woman.
They finished their meals in silence and Xena immediately got up and began clearing up the dishes. Venus sat there for a while, feeling a little out of place.
"I can help," Venus suddenly said, getting to her feet. She didn't want to sit around whilst Xena was cleaning, it made her feel like a brat.
Xena smiled softly as Venus began helping her clear up. They cleaned up in comfortable silence. Occasionally their bodies would brush against each other which unfailingly sent shivers through Venus each time.
"The weather today is really nice, do you want to go to a park later on?"
Xena had asked casually, but it had sent bolts through Venus. The fact that Xena still wanted to spend more time with her was something she couldn't understand. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that the taller woman wasn't tired of her yet.
Venus softly nodded her head and a huge smile broke across Xena's face. It was beautiful, nothing like Venus had ever seen.
"Great. Feel free to use the shower in my room, I'd use the one next to the living room. I have spare toothbrushes and stuff in the cupboard beneath the sink."
Once again Venus nodded her head. Sometimes she genuinely just didn't know the right words to use. She felt like nothing she could say was enough. Not after all the things that Xena continued to do to her.
Venus silently made her way back into Xena's room before entering the connecting bathroom. It was fairly large. She immediately went for the cupboard, taking out the things that she needed. Venus found herself wondering if Xena kept spare of things because she had people over often. A feeling suddenly crossed over Venus, she couldn't place it. Unlike her, Venus probably had a ton of friends, she probably had beautiful women crawling at her feet. The feeling coursed through Venus again.
Letting out an exasperated sigh, Venus began getting ready. It was as if no matter what she did, her mind wouldn't give her a break. She asked herself why she even cared if Xena had tons of women falling over her. But the thing was, Venus knew the answer to that. She knew exactly why she cared.
The shower was refreshing. The water pressure was a lot better than the one Venus had back in her apartment. She stepped out smelling faintly of Xena's scented body wash.
Back in Xena's room, there was a pile of clothes neatly folded on the bed, which Venus realized was meant for her. She tried on the clothes; the shirt was big. But Venus didn't mind, seeing as she usually wore shirts that were bigger than her. She tried on the pants but it was way too long for her length, hence; she ended up sticking to her own pants.
There was a soft knock on the door.
Venus opened it slightly, revealing Xena. Her hair was still wet and softly dripping down into her face, Venus felt her breath catch in her throat at the sight before her.
Xena smiled slightly. "Hey, just checking to see if you're ready."
Venus could barely keep up with what Xena was saying. Instead, she found herself being lost in the taller girls' scent. It seemed a lot stronger now that she had just showered. She swallowed hard, pushing her thoughts to the back of her mind.
"Yeah, I'm ready."
Xena smiled, and Venus followed her out of the apartment.
Xena had been right, the weather that day had been a lot better compared to the recent weeks. Clearly, they were not the only ones that had come to take advantage of it. This was clear in the numerous people that were scattered around the park.
"Is this a good spot?" Xena asked.
Venus nodded, and they both sat in the warm grass. Venus took in the surrounding scenery. The park was large and the green grass seemed to go on forever. It appeared so lively, so hopeful. It seemed to represent new life, Venus felt a strange burst of energy just looking out at it.
After a moment of silence, Xena lay back in the grass. Venus waited a few moments before imitating her. They both stared up at the blue sky, side-by-side in silence. Venus didn't mind, she felt so comfortable.
This was unreal. Venus couldn't understand how it was she had come to be in this position. Here she was, lying next to Xena in a park, a completely normal activity.
Thoughts immediately began floating into Venus' mind, telling her that everything was temporary, that none of this was going to last. Nothing ever lasted when it came to her with other people.
Desperately, Venus pushed it down. She wasn't going to let it ruin the happiness and comfort she felt in that moment. So what if she just let herself go? So what if she let herself feel for once?
Was she too much of a monster even for that?