Did he just say husband?
What?
I can't move....
This is too much to take in.
"Angel?"
I don't answer him. I just can't manage to say anything.
"Please let me in...Please Angel"
I hesitate.
My fingers are going to the lock.
My mind is screaming for me to stop.
Too late...
"I'm coming in ok......"
I rush over and sit on the edge of the bath.
I try to control my breathing and the slow build of anxiety that I can feel rising through my body.
"What happens now....Do I have any choice?"
"We all have choices Angel, It's just whether we make the right ones or not."
"What's right and what's wrong? Is it the right one would be for me to stay quiet and just carry on like nothings changed? Is the wrong one, I speak out, Go to the police...Hand you over"
"Is that what you want?" He questions, I can tell he is pissed.
"No...But this, It's a lot to take in..."
"Listen you go to the police if you want but baby, I am the fucking law. They are at my beck and call. AT MY MERCY!" He laughs "And guess what..."
I look at him and dred washes over me.
"Want to know the best part Angel?"
"What..." I heistantly ask.
"My contact at MI6 is a family friend, His great grandfather was the right hand of my great grandfather. I have a special group of friends...."
"MI6?!?!"
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!
"Why are you telling me this. Are you trying to frighten me! Are you some sort of fucking psycho!"
"No, I'm not. I am a man who protects his family. Who was brought up in this life and I fucking love it! I'm good at it. I told you I would never hurt you. That was a fucking promise."
"Why me?"
"You're it for me Angel.....The be all and end all."
"This is crazy..."
"So you don't feel it too?"
I can't deny it but how can I deal with all this?
"Answer me Angel..."
"Yes, I feel something." I quietly reply.
"Good."
"But why me! Look at you! Take your jacket and shirt off!
"What?" He chuckles in disbelief at me.
"I need to show you! OFF!" I'm losing my patience.
"Fine fuck me...."
"That!" I'm pointing up and down his body. Showing him the difference. He looks at me like I am insane.
"What the fuck are you doing?" He quizzes.
"Look at you...Look at me"
"I am looking at you."
"What do you see!"
"An angel. A beautiful, Charming, Gorgeous woman with the most perfect arse and the most amazing eyes and those delicious lips....."
I'm in utter shock. I don't know whether to jump on him and eat him alive or slap the shit out of his face...
I've never seen a man like this before.....
He says he's a Demon, Well please send me straight to hell......
Stop it.....
You can't....
This will end badly......
Terribly.
Horrendously.
Cause damage beyond repair.
"Fuck it!" I take his face in my hands and kiss him.
Hard...
Long...
A heat is pulsing round my body.
I feel his tongue glide over my lips.
He nips my bottom lip with his teeth. Pulling away slightly taking my lip with him.
He places his hands at the nape of my neck, gripping onto my hair, lifting my head towards the ceiling, Trailing the kiss down my neck.
"Woah...." I say, Breathlessly.
"Bloody hell.....You taste" He moans then continues, "So fucking good!"
"That was...."
"Magnificent....." He is smirking.
"Earth shattering....."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."
"God I hope I'm the last man to ever do that to you...."
"You're certainly the first......" I blush, Feeling extremely self-conscious.
"Huh?"
"Bugger..." I muttered.
"You've never done that before?"
I can only shake my head no.
"God...."
"I...." I start to say but I'm interrupted.
"That was the best kiss I've ever had...."
"It's the only one I've had" I giggle.
"You're wonderful."
"You're so full of shit."
I'm lost in my thoughts...
I don't think I can go without that ever again...
That's what I've missed.
I don't care what this is.
But I'm not giving it up.
I want him.
I need him.
I've been so lonely and frightened of getting hurt. All these years of crippling self-doubt and self-destructive behaviour.
I've denied myself happiness.....I've never believed that anyone liked me. That anyone would want me.
I believed that they would pick apart my body and see all the faults and flaws and find pleasure in telling me how disgusting I am and that no one would ever love someone who looks like me, Who has been through what I have, Who feels like damaged goods...
I don't want to be alone anymore.
I don't want to hate my body with every fiber of my being.
I don't want to look in a mirror and feel sick to my stomach at what I see.
I don't want to feel broken and fragile.
I don't want to feel like a victim to my circumstances.
I don't want to be scared.
I don't want to feel like a lost child.
I want to be free from this.
Free from the hell I've been trapped in because of the person I should call dad.
"Angel?"
"Hmm?"
"Please don't leave me. Stay....Here....With me...." He begs, Resting his forehead against mine.