Chandler
Heartbroken. I am completely heartbroken about this whole situation with Alana. This morning I couldn't stop crying. I looked at Avery I cried. Think about Mariah i cried. Serena and Zara just cried. I know that I the baby was never born but I was grieving a baby that could have been. I agreed to keep Avery but I thought about driving down there and dragging her out of there. I am angry like I don't know how I'm going to handle myself when she gets home and Carmen told me that she was driving so they would be here in a couple of minutes. While Avery napped I decided to go outside and smoke. I haven't smoked since I was in my twenties but I definitely needed it. I found weed in Zara's suitcase and took it with me to Alana's house. I don't know how she got it through airport security but I'm glad she did. I lit the blunt and just sat there thinking about my life. I could do better I mean I can be a better husband. It's not like Alana wants me anymore. I could be a better hus- fuck I'm hungry. I started laughing to myself as I took another hit.
"Classy Chandler. Where's my grandbaby?" Carmen said snapping me out of my daze. I rolled my eyes and pointed inside the house. My eyes went to Alana who instantly put her head down and anger just filled my body. I put the blunt right back in my mouth and smoked. I wanted so bad to scream but what good would that do now. It's not bringing my baby back so I'll just leave it. I finished the blunt and went into the house and walked straight into the kitchen. I want chips and dip. I saw Carmen in there making tea and I pushed passed her and grab the bag of chips.
"Chandler you almost made me drop my tea!" Carmen yelled
"I want chips and dip." I said opening the bag of chips and devouring it. Ooooh maybe I'll order hot wings. No I want Thai food mmmm no whatever I'll just order everything.
"Ugh stupid ass" Carmen said as she stormed out the kitchen and went into Alana's room. I called every take out I knew and ordered from there. Minutes later Carmen came back out and just stared at me.
"What?" I said
"I'm leaving to go see Monica for a little bit I'm taking Avery. Can you make sure she's fine?"
"Yeah. I got her I always got her." I said walking towards Alana room.
"Let her sleep. She's been through a lot today."
"What about me? I've been through a trauma today too." I yelled in her face.
She slapped me in the face and just looked at me like I was crazy.
"If it wasn't for you she wouldn't be in any of this mess! What is it about her that you can't leave her alone?! She's been through enough shit with you and you keep pushing and pushing on her!!! Leave my child the fuck alone! I'm sick of seeing her cry over you!" Carmen yelled at me
"I'm in love with her Carmen! I can't leave her alone because I'm in love with her! I want to be with her instead of Mon but she won't give me the time of day so I just keep Monica around until one day Alana tells me that she wants to be with me and you can look at me like I'm crazy all you want but I want to be with her!" I shouted
Carmen looked at me with a shock expression. I guess she didn't think that I was in love with Alana but I was. What's the point though she wants Terrence not me and there's nothing I can do about it. Way to blow my fucking high!
"Does your wife know how you feel about Alana ?"
"Probably. I honestly don't know. She's blind if she doesn't." I said
"Well if you're in love with my daughter you would leave her alone. Let her grow with someone else and be in love with someone that's not married. Chandler let her go!"
Carmen walked out the house with Avery in his car seat and I watched her get in my truck before I locked the door and went into the room with Alana. She was in her bed sleeping, she looked so peaceful and beautiful. I took off my shoes and got in bed with her. I pulled her close to me and she woke up.
"Get out Chandler!" She screamed at me
"Hear me out please."
She sat up and looked at me. I saw how red her eyes were from crying and felt bad about everything. As much as I didn't want to do this I'm going to have to suck it up and let her go.
"I'm waiting." She said pushing me out of my thoughts
"I'm in love with you there's no denying that at all but your mom was right i need to let you grow with someone else and love someone else. I'm never going to be who you want me to be and I'm admitting that now. I have to suck up my pride and apologize for everything and let you go I love you baby." I said before getting up out of the bed walking to the door.
I turned and looked at her and she was in tears. I didn't know if those were happy tears or sad tears but she was crying. She walked up to me and hugged me like her life depended on it and I held her too. I didn't want to let go but I made a mental note of everything. The smell of the vanilla on her skin, the lavender smell of her shampoo,the softness of her lips, and the feeling of her small hand rubbing me. She looked at me and gave me one big kiss and then pulled away from me.
"I love you too and thank you."She said smiling up at me.
"So I ordered a bunch of food. You want some?" I asked making her laugh.
"Yeah. What did you get?"
"Some of everything." I said.
She went into the kitchen and bust out laughing. She didn't think it was as much food as I said it was but I wasn't lying. I got everything and I'm going to eat most of it. We sat and talked like really talked about everything and it felt good. I watched her eat but in her eyes I could still see the sadness in her eyes over the past events. I can let her go right? I mean I can fall back in love with Mon. Right?
********* 5 MONTHS LATER**************
Well it's been five months and I haven't crossed the line with Alana. I've kept my promise to her and let her move on and seeing her happy makes me happy. It was Alonzo birthday so we planned a trip to Mexico for all of us. I was excited because it's been a minute since I had an actual vacation and I was looking forward to relaxing. We leave tomorrow and Monica is making me crazy with her checklist.
"Babe did you pack you and Mariah's sunscreen?" Monica asked
"Yes and even if I didn't they didn't stop making sunscreen so it's not a big deal" i said rolling my eyes.
I'm taking it one step at a time but it's hard to do it. I mean she still nags me but at least it's over something different. She still hates the grown Alana walks on but that's between them two. Our sex life did improve though so that's a plus I'm not running to Alana to fulfill my sexual pleasure. But still it wasn't the same anymore and I'm trying I'm seriously trying to make it all work. Speaking of Alana I need to call her back.
"Chandler I've been trying to call you for two hours!" Alana screamed into the phone.
"Calm down ma, what is it?"
"I just wanted to give you a heads up that I'm taking Terrence. I know we agreed to be coparenting only but I didn't want it to be awkward between y'all."
Terrence and I still haven't gotten along but that's something that can't be fixed. He just irks my nerves and I don't know why. We have tried to talk but it's only ended up in both of us trying to fight each other.
"It's cool baby. So y'all doing good?"
"Yeah we are doing real good. Also there's something I want to talk to you about but i want to do it in person."
"What is it about?"
"I'll tell you in person... okay I'm getting ready to go to the air port. I'll see you tomorrow then we can talk." She said
"Aight i love you." I said
"I love you too"
I hung up the phone and now I couldn't stop thinking about what she wanted to talk to me about. I hope everything's okay with her. I saw Monica walking back into the room and I walked out to call Alonzo.
"What you calling me for?" Alonzo said into the phone
"What's up with Alana?" I asked
"Oh boy! You was doing so good not obsessing over her but nothing that I know of she hasn't told me anything."
"Oh okay old man damn we really out here 45 years old already. Shit we getting old." I said in a disbelief tone
"Yeah fool. Shit it was like yesterday we was being crazy in high school chasing girls now we bout to be in retirement homes."
"Nah I'm still young fuck you talking about." I joked
"Shit me too you older than me but I have to go my wife is driving me crazy and I have to be at the airport in a hour."
We hung up the phone and I went back into my room and put all the tags on the bags and started to put them in the car. After I got all the bags in the car I went into the house and went to find Monica. Of course she was looking through my phone. I grabbed my phone out her hand and she looked at me like she was shocked.
"What you doing in my phone?"i screamed
"I'm just checking for our flights information."
I looked down and saw her in me and Alana's text messages.
"So you looking through me and Alana's texts is looking for fucking flight information. Fuck is your problem we haven't had an Alana problem in forever and you out here wanting to cause drama for what?"
"Can you blame me for still looking? I don't know that y'all are actually over. I mean a couple of months ago you bought that girl a brand new car."
"Shit mon we are good okay. Nothing to worry about."
I walked out my room and went to sleep in the room with Mariah. I can't believe she's already one too my has the time flown by. The next morning we were up bright and early and ready to go to Mexico. I grabbed my phone and texted Alana.
Me: hey we should be there in like five hours. You want to talk when I land?
Alana: yeah. I'll be here.
We all decided to stay in a air b&b and it was a nice villa so we all didn't have to get a hotel. We arrived in Mexico and I was ready to go to sleep. It took us damn near thirty minutes to get our luggage and another hour to put it all in the cab but we were finally heading to our destination. About two hours later we were finally at our villa. I hurriedly got out the car and ran into the house looking for Alana.
"Ummm Chandler you not going to help with none of this stuff?" Monica yelled
"It's they job to take it up to our room. Let them go find Carmen and relax. Maybe you won't nag this trip."
I went upstairs and looked in her room but I didn't see her instead I saw Terrence laying in their bed. I rolled my eyes and bit my tongue and decided to ask him where she is.
"Do you know where Alana is?" I asked
"Yeah she's on the beach with Zara and Avery. Did she tell you yet?"
"Tell me what?"
He smirked at me and walked into the bathroom that's connected to their room and didn't say anything. I ran out their room and went straight to the beach.
"Damn Usain where you going?" Alonzo said to me
"I need to find Alana she wanted to talk to me."
"No drama Chandler I mean it."
"The hell does everyone know that I don't know?"
"Nothing. But Terrence asked to talk to me so I'm going to talk to him. I'm just telling you no drama. I know how you get." Alonzo said before jogging up the stairs.
I don't know why everyone thinks I'm going to cause drama when I haven't been in any in a minute. I finally found Alana and shit she was looking good in her bikini. I had to admire her for a second because whew Jesus I wanted to fuck her. Focus we not going back there focus. I saw her look up at me and her smile warmed my heart.
"Hey baby you looking good." I said kissing Alana on the cheek and picking up Avery who was giggling and bouncing around in my arm.
"Hey old man you not looking good too. Come walk the beach with me."
"Okay."
We walked away from Zara and just walked in silence. I couldn't help but to admire her every time she walked ahead of me or when she bent over to pick something up. Shit I want her and my body was definitely felt the same way.
"So you gonna tell me what you had to wait until we were in person to say." I said slightly pushing her
"Terrence wants me to move in with him."
"Why?"
"What do you mean why? Because we are moving to the next step."
My son isn't going to move into his house. I don't care I'll cause drama if I had too. I don't want that man to be a father to my son.
"You moving into his house?"
"No. He wants us to get a house together." She said
"Oh okay. Well congratulations."
That was all I said to her. I didn't want to make any drama plus I wanted to have a drama free vacation. We talked a little more on the beach before we went back to everyone. We all decided to rest up a little bit before dinner and then maybe play some games. I walked up to the room to see Monica in her towel. My wife looks amazing and she is a dime but I don't want her. The attraction is still there but the love isn't. I have love for her of course she's put up with everything but something is missing.
"Hey you what you looking at?" She said walking up to me. She pulled my pants down and got down on her knees and began caving me head. I closed my eyes and imagined that it was Alana. I grabbed her hair and moved her head faster. I was in my own little world. I stopped Mon and picked her up and threw her on the bed.
"Arch for me" i said in a low tone
"Okay."
She got into the position and I slid inside of her. It didn't feel the same anymore but it was still good. She backed it up on me and I pushed her back up. I closed my eyes and just imagined Alana. I know I shouldn't but I couldn't help it. I want her to be happy I really do but I miss her. I pushed harder inside her and then grabbed her hair and held her head down just the way Alana likes it. I moved my hips faster and harder.
"Chandler slow down."
"Take it" i said as I slapped her ass.
I grunted and moaned and held her in place and kept going in the my fast sped. I bit down on my lips and just had Alana on my brain. I could hear her moans and feel her soft hands choking me back. Thinking about her made me cum and I cummed quick.
"The hell was that Chandler?" Monica screamed at me
"What? We fucked."
"You know I don't like it rough like that."
"Since when?" I asked her
"Since forever. I don't know how Alana likes it but I'm not her!"
"Why are you comparing yourself to her? Shit is annoying I'm taking a nap fuck you!"
I fell asleep for however long and Alonzo came into the room. He had a beer and I took it from him and chugged it.
"Wassup between you and Mon?"
"Nothing. I'm over it." I said getting ready to shower.
"Counseling didn't work for y'all so what else is there to do?"
"Divorce."
Alonzo looked at me with a scrunched up face and then laughed.
"Fool you ain't gone divorce her. It's time to get over your feelings for Alana. Carmen told me about what happened when she suddenly went to Arizona."
"She told you everything?" I asked
"Yeah. Alana got an abortion and you told Carmen how you were in love with Alana."
"I am."
"If you truly love Alana you would be with her right now instead of Monica but you aren't. You're still with Mon." Alonzo said
"You don't think i know that. Man I'm stressed but I love seeing Alana happy and if it's not with me then so be it I'm going to have to deal with it like i been doing."
After the conversation we all went downstairs to go to this restaurant everyone kept talking about. Once we arrived and was seated everyone was smiling and happy everyone except me. It was something on my mind that I needed to get off.
"Alana walk with me please." I said as I rush off before anyone else.
She told Terrence that she needed to go to the bathroom and ran towards the direction I was going.
"Chandler where are you?" She screamed
"I'm over here." I said pulling her close to me.
She hugged me for a bit and then pulled back.
" What did you need to talk to me about?" She asked
"I'm divorcing Mon. Forreal this time."
"Oh cool well I'm sorry y'all relationship didn't work out." She said
She tried walking away but I grabbed her and kissed her. She was fighting me at first but eventually gave in.
"Mmmm no stop get off me. What the fuck! No! No! Hell no!" Alana stormed off and went back to everyone.
I walked back to everyone and just sat down in deep thought. I saw Terrence and Alonzo whispering about something and I wanted to know what it was. Terrence stood up and tapped on his glass to get everyone's attention. Oh no he's not.
"Alana baby. Being with you has made me the happiest person ever and I know we haven't had the best relationship but no relationship is perfect. Your dad has already gave me the blessing and your mom has been waiting for me to do this for a month now so I know she's excited. Alana Boa Vista will you marry me"
Oh fuck no!! I was shock as hell and I looked at Alana who's face matched mine. She was in tears and then she looked from me and then to Terrence. She wiped her face and then she smiled down at him.
"Yes YES YES!!!" Alana screamed as she hugged and kissed Terrence
I don't know what got into me but I stood up and shouted
"Alana aborted my baby five months ago!"