(Warning: This chapter contains self-inflicted pleasure, but don't worry it's not too graphic. You'll be fine kids, we're not there yet.)
Chapter 21 - You're in my Head.
Oliver
Finding my way back to my room was not completely easy, I tried my best to recall the places Khalid and I walked through before we got to the garden. Navigating through the compound, going from turn to turn, I even circled around twice before I found the lift.
But on my way back finding the lift wasn't the dominant thought on my mind, I could not get myself to stop thinking about what I heard just some minutes ago from Alex. Jessica's name escaped that venomous mouth of his, if that isn't beyond terrifying I wonder what is.
Taking the lift up to my floor, I found out Jess and Yadiri had gone to bed. Their door was locked, and I could almost hear Jess psychically yell: 'don't you dare knock on that door'.
Refraining from provoking the goddess, I headed straight to my room. I could just take my laptop in the morning anyway, I was with my phone so I did not have much to worry about.
Pulling out my phone from my pocket, I wanted to check the time because I thought it was still too early for the girls to be sleeping. I turned on my screen and was faced with the huge clock on my screensaver. Ogling at it like in complete surprise, I couldn't believe my eyes.
11:48PM said the time.
It felt like just five minutes ago Khalid called me to come out, and it felt like we spent only two minutes in the garden before we were interrupted by an annoying Alex.
I shook my head wondering why I was even surprised, time crawled at a snail's pace whenever I was around Khalid. It just seemed like everyone and everything holds for a while, whenever Khalid speaks to me.
Holding down the handle of my door I pushed it open, sighing as the warmth of my room welcomed me and the cold aggressive wind fell silent. I couldn't believe the level of carelessness I had just exhibited, leaving my room unlocked for this long. My mum would've flipped and gave a seventy hour lecture on safety, but then my dorm was sitting pretty in protection so there wasn't much to be worried about.
Freeing myself from the clothes I was putting on, I sped right into the bathroom for a nice warm shower. The cold had had its turn dealing with me, now it was time for the sweet sensation of hot water.
During my time in the bathroom I couldn't stop thinking about what Alex had to talk to Khalid about, or why he even wanted to talk to Khalid in the first place.
I had come to terms with the fact that I hated seeing those two together, I wasn't going to fight it anymore. Still trying not to hate Alex, I couldn't help but shake my head whenever the thought of him came to mind. I'd like to believe I wasn't jealous, I was just annoyed and galled by his attitude.
Getting out of the shower and towelling my hair dry, I didn't have the patience to keep it in the towel for a few more minutes so I just hung my towel up and slipped into my cozy pyjamas.
My head was still filled and heavy with these toxic thoughts of Alexander. My university experience was still too young to be faced with troubles like these. I already had Casper and Mason to worry about, why did I have to go and add Khalid to the equation, thereby adding Alex by default because he posed to be a leech, a social parasite to Khalid.
Okay, maybe I'm losing my mind and I'm exaggerating. Taking deep breaths to calm myself I looked around my room and my eyes instantly landed on Khalid's pink hoodie. I stood frozen staring at it for longer than necessary, before walking up to my desk and jumping into bed with it. Slipping under the layers of my blue and seafoam green duvet, I cuddled the hoodie like a pillow. The sweet rich scent of Khalid filling my nose, it felt like he was right there with me, but I knew he wasn't.
Squeezing my eyes shut and telling myself it was time to sleep, my brain decided to start wandering. Holding Khalid's hoodie so close to my chest wasn't helping my sleep campaign.
The major thoughts in my head were the exact same thoughts I should have been staying away from; were they still there? Maybe they were talking and holding hands like Khalid and I were.
I rolled from side to side, still clutching the heavenly softness that was Khalid's hoodie so close to my chest, but sleep eluded me.
Sighing and throwing the duvet off my upper body, I came to a conclusion that I needed songs to fall asleep. My phone was already on my bedside table and my mini Bluetooth speaker was on so I just stretched and connected my phone to the speaker, I found myself playing the saddest songs of Lewis Capaldi.
I thought about changing the song because it wasn't suitable for my current mood, but I brushed it aside and ignored the warnings of my brain. Turning down the volume so only I could hear the song without bothering anyone else, I placed my phone back on my bedside table and resumed hugging Khalid's hoodie to my chest.
When Leaving My Love Behind came on, I lost control of my emotions and tears started welling up in my eyes despite them being closed. I sighed and buried my face even more into Khalid's hoodie, then came the first sob.
Why did I keep letting myself feel sad, when I should be proud and confident. These are features I would kill to have, I hated being so insecure and cautious about what people would think about my sexuality and how people generally perceived me.
Most of all I kept fanning my sadness, I was already down before I started playing sad songs, making matters a lot worse.
Warm tears began trickling down my eyes, wetting my face and Khalid's hoodie as I continued to sob softly.
At this point I felt so much for Khalid, I couldn't stop myself and there was no going back. I guess I just had to come to terms with these feelings in my heart and also come to terms with Alex showing up and breaking off our time together.
Alex really upset me with the mean things he usually said to me in front of Khalid, but Khalid did not look like someone who could be easily influenced by another person's perceptions, he liked to find out for himself, so that worked in my favour. I just had to stop looking weak in front of him, I don't think anyone likes a weak person.
(Play the song.)
My chest was so heavy, I had no idea when sleep took me. My playlist eventually ran out and stopped in the middle of the night. The next day was Saturday, so I was supposed to sleep in till whenever I liked. But that wasn't the case, Jess had woken me up quite early and she was currently in my room, yelling commands at me like she was my mum.
"Get the fuck up and find something to wear, you're coming with us. Period!" Jessica screamed at me for what felt like the five hundredth time.
They were both in my room and it was around 1:30pm, I had been in bed ignoring her whilst trying to get back to sleep all morning, I hadn't even had breakfast. Well except for all the chocolates I had been eating.
I'm so goddamn healthy.
Apparently they had both showered and were going through every girl's struggle of finding what to wear, for the party tonight that is. I on the other hand wasn't so keen on attending said party. They had brought my laptop with them and I welcomed it with open arms, delving right into it to resume the animé I've been trying to finish for days now.
"Get up and out of that bed right now and take a shower, Oliver!" Jess instructed again, motioning towards the bathroom with her hands.
I snuggled in, getting even more comfortable in my bed and under my duvet. Putting a huge chunk of chocolate in my mouth, trying my best to chew and get my tongue around it while staring blankly at her, I intended to offend her but I wasn't trying to get killed.
She widened her eyes at me before turning around to face Yadiri.
"Yadiri, please get me a knife." She snapped her fingers at her as she spoke, "I'm going to cut you into tiny marshmallow sizes." She turned back to me and threatened with an evil smirk on her face.
Yadiri laughed out loud when I sprung right out of bed and landed flat on my face, pain shooting up from my nose to my brain... again!
"Ow," I groaned, rubbing my nose. "I just might break this beautiful nose one day." I mumbled to myself before scampering with my hand and knees towards my desk where Yadiri sat. "Please don't let Jess lay her hands on a knife." I begged while rubbing my nose with my other hand which made me sound a bit funny.
"I will not, but I definitely will not stop her from cutting you into tiny marshmallow sizes. You've to come with us to this party, Olly." She told me before sending a look to Jess who was glaring daggers at me. I could almost feel her eyes bore holes into my head.
I got up from the floor and rolled my eyes at Yadiri. "Thank you so much for saving me," she giggled at me while I walked around and sat at the edge of my bed, directly facing Jessica.
She glared at me, her lips scrunched up in fake anger before she walked over to my wardrobe and started poking about, probably trying to find something for me to wear.
"Oh, no. Please don't do that Jess, I don't appreciate that. I just got my wardrobe organised, and trust me it wasn't easy." I told her, but she only managed to shock me when she started throwing unworthy clothes to the floor.
"Oh shut up and go shower already." She stopped and sent me a glare which made me scoot back on my bed, attempting to protect myself against any incoming attacks.
We all just watched her silently as she harassed and worked wonders on the clothes in my wardrobe. She finally picked out a shirt, by now so many clothes were already spread across the floor.
Turning with a bright smile on her face, "see! I found us something." She chirped.
Yadiri snapped her fingers and hummed, pointing at the shirt in approval.
"Okay? Good. So now who's going to take care of all this?" I rolled my eyes and gestured to all of my clothes that were spread on the floor.
The smile on Jess's face disappeared immediately as she strutted towards me and threw the shirt on my face. I struggled to get it off me and my field of vision without rumpling it up. Jess them walked back to my wardrobe and opened my pants drawer, sending a warning look my way.
Reading the signs, I ran straight to her and stopped her midway.
"Okay, okay stop, I'll come." I agreed, slowly pulling her away from my precious clothes. "God, you threaten me." I told her as we both went back to my bed and she sat on it while I stood in front of her.
She shook her head and tried to arrange her hair beautifully. "No I don't, I just know what's best for you. Why don't you want to come? I know you don't have any tangible reason, you just want to stay here, alone and sad."
True
"That's not true, I won't feel either of those things I enjoy my own company. By the way I have over three assignments to finish." I replied with a confident expression, pointing at myself then at my laptop as I spoke.
"Yeah I can see just how absorbed you would be," she waved her hand in the air, "Khalid is coming too." She added with a smirk which remained on her lips as she continued. "So you coming or not?" She questioned again, pointing at my wardrobe.
She's threatening me again!
"Ugh!" I groaned, "fine I'm coming, and Khalid has nothing to do with it." I stated dismissively before walking back to my wardrobe to pick out a matching trouser for the shirt Jess had picked for me
Yadiri scoffed, "you the man Oliver." She said with a strong accent which made me goggle at her in disbelief.
Jessica burst out laughing and I eventually joined.
I finally picked out one of my best denim trousers, you know one of those ones that fit so well it yells; this is his best pair of jeans.
Returning to my bed I placed it beside the shirt Jess had previously picked out, analysing. She stood up and joined me to examine the combination.
"Yeah this is nice, now please go wash all that chocolate off your face and bodily rejoins." She gestured to the chocolate stains on my face and my body with her hands.
I stuck my tongue out at her which made her cringe.
"Don't do that. That's disgusting Oliver." She called behind me as I had already started heading back to my wardrobe.
"That's disgusting Oliver." I mimicked her.
Jess proceeded to pull off her slides, I yelped and ran to hide behind Yadiri who was still sitting on my study chair. She threw and missed before I slowly peeked out and stuck my tongue at her again. She then went for the other pair of her slides but I stopped her.
"No, no okay sorry don't stone me to death." I came out fully and joined Jess who was still narrowing her eyes at me, we both sat back down on my bed. "I guess I'll have to disappoint Alex, I told him I was driving The Queen to the party and I don't even know The Queen." I let out a sigh as I recalled last night and how Alex had interrupted my time with Khalid, and the witty response I couldn't believe I came up with.
I guess I've got it in my, Banners.
I looked up from Jess to Yadiri, they were both staring at me with scrunched up faces.
"What?" I shrugged, looking from side to side.
They were silent for a few more seconds before Yadiri let out a muzzled laughter and Jess joined her, "what even brought that up and who is Alex?" Yadiri asked in between laughs.
"Well he was asking me why I was coming to the party with disdain, like I shouldn't be at the party." I explained, getting a bit upset just by talking about it.
Jess's laugh ended with a huff when she heard my explanation.
"Oh dark brown haired boy? hazel eyes? Mean face?" Yadiri asked whilst describing some of Alex's very beautiful features.
"Well yes, yes and yes. Stupid smug look as well, I don't think you should skip that. His smugness is palpable." I replied, approving all Yadiri had aforementioned.
She hummed while examining her nails. "You know he tried to pick a fight with Jess the evening we arrived, but thankfully I was there. It would've been a disaster."
I snapped my fingers and pointed at her, "yeah! I heard about that, and I've been meaning to thank you for pulling her away. She's very fast with her mouth." I turned my head in jess's direction, "she's so frigging fast with this mouth of hers." I finished, winking at her.
Jess smacked my arm playfully. "Yeah I am, but he started it." She shrugged, "I was going to give him a piece of my mind the other day Yadiri wasn't around to stop me, but he apologised. So I guess he's not that bad."
What?
I ogled at her for a while before blinking repeatedly, maybe I did not hear right. "Wait, pardon?" I asked, hoping she would repeat herself and maybe I'll hear right this time.
"He apologised to me on Thursday." She repeated herself very casually.
I first scoffed before chuckling fully, I could not believe my ears. "Really? Alex apologised to you? What else should I be expecting, are pigs flying now?"
"Wow girl, just the fear of being on your bad side made him apologise." Yadiri said with a smile while applauding Jess. "Where was I when he apologised?"
"I can't even remember, I think I was coming back from the store then he met me just before I entered the lift." She replied Yadiri with a blank expression.
From her tone I could tell she wasn't feeling special or excited like Yadiri and I were. In fact, she was still a lot displeased by Alex's attitude.
Yadiri got even more excited when she heard Jess's explanation. "Wow okay? So tell me everything, in detail. What words did he use and how did he construct them?" She leaned forward on the chair and gestured with her hands.
Jess let out a frustrated sigh and fell back on my bed, facing up. "I can't clearly recall, he just said he was sorry and would love to hang sometime."
Yadiri gasped.
"Love to hang sometime? Are you kidding me?"
"She has to be joking." I shook my head and supported Yadiri, I found it really hard to believe that Alex said these words.
"Bruh, she has to be. That's shady and unsettling coming from an emotionless wannabe hermit." Yadiri relaxed back into the chair and continued examining her nails.
"He's not trying to be a hermit, he's just..." she trailed off, "I don't know the right word to use, but he's not a complete monster." Jess defended.
"Are you joking?!" Yadiri yelled with laughter in her voice.
They continued chatting and I just phased out and got lost in my thoughts.
It was definitely my Jessica Alex was talking about last night. But why did he want to talk with Khalid of all people about her. If he was planning something bad against Jess I'm pretty sure Khalid wouldn't approve or let him go ahead with it, so maybe he actually just wants to hang out with Jess.
I was losing my mind, I couldn't wait to hear Jess's stand on that. It was already bad enough that she was defending him.
On the other hand, I wasn't so sure about Khalid. Hell, I wasn't even sure I knew him that well. We had opened up to eachother and spent so much time together, but I still couldn't tell for sure what exactly goes on in his head. I was overthinking, I needed to stop, so I decided to ask the question I had in mind before zoning out of the conversation.
"Do you think it's genuine?" I got their attention and the stopped talking. "His apology, do you think it's genuine?" I directed the question to Jess who propped herself up on her elbows.
"What do I care? Genuine or not, he can't do anything to me. He can try though, I like a little challenge." She raised an eyebrow and a smirk formed on her lips.
"Yes, yes," Yadiri started clapping again, "boss bitch move right there. You forgot to flip your hair."
Jess immediately shot up from the bed and flipped her hair with a flounce.
"Oh goodness." I face palmed myself.
They both started giggling and laughing like they were lionesses on a girl's trip.
At least that was settled, Jess's safety wasn't a problem anymore, she could take care of herself. I mean just look at her.
Alex and Khalid's intentions were what left me bothered now, but I refused to think about. I had a party to prepare for, my first actual party in a long, long time.
I was low-key excited but I couldn't let it show.
Jessica checked the time on her phone after they'd both stopped laughing, which made me add my pressing need for a wall clock to one of the files in my brain.
"Okay, it's 4:30 and the party is by 10-ish, but still go bathe yourself. Let us all get ready, we might take sometime to get dressed, we all have to put on makeup and stuff." She stood up and walked to my mirror, adjusting her hair and eyebrows and other things she pays close attention to. "Oh, and we all includes Olly." She turned and flashed me a smile before taking her eyes back to the mirror.
"Why would I want to wear makeup?" I replied with a frown.
"To look a lot more attractive, so cute hot guys will come your way, duh. Why else do we put on makeup?" She proceeded to find the perfect style for her hair.
"Well I'm not applying any cosmetics on my face." I stood up and placed my hands on my waist.
"Not even a blush or lipstick?" She dropped her hair and faced me now.
Shaking my head from side to side I replied, "not even a blush or lipsti-" I stopped halfway, bitting my bottom lip and considering the offer. "Okay maybe just lipstick but a very light coloured one, hear me, light coloured." I emphasised.
It wasn't such a bad idea, I did want to look good anyway. It was a party for freshmen in Denberg for Christ sake.
"Well your loss," she replied, walking back to my bed and laying on it.
Coming to think of it, Yadiri had been silent for sometime now, so I turned to face her. She was comfortably eating one pack of chocolate from my table.
How dare she?!
"Umm what are you doing?" I directed the question to Yadiri.
"Eating chocolates?" She mumbled with her mouth filled up, and an innocent look on her face.
"No, what are you two doing?" I looked from her to Jess.
"Waiting for you to prepare?" Jessica rolled to her side and held herself up on one arm, replying the same way Yadiri did.
"Well I need to take a shower first." I informed them.
Yadiri wasn't even paying attention to me, she just continued stuffing her face, her cheeks were puffed. She actually looked very adorable like that, but I tried to hold a straight face.
"Yeah so? Go take a shower then." She answered and made to lie back down on my bed but I stopped her before she could rest her head.
"Okay you two, piss off to your room," I said, pulling her up. "I can't take a shower with you two here." I added, gently pushing her to the door and pulling Yadiri up on the way.
She struggled to save all the chocolates she had in her hands and on her laps, she did not want to lose even one.
"Don't push me I leave when I want to leave," Jess paused and I raised an eyebrow at her, "which is exactly now, bye. I'm leaving with class." She flipped her hair and strutted out... with class.
Yadiri stopped at the door and finally swallowed all the chocolate she had been trying to wrap her tongue around.
"You know we're not interested in your..." she motioned towards my area, dragging her sentence while trying to find the right word for it.
"Piss off!" I scolded, I didn't want to hear what she would eventually call it.
She cringed like a snail, "okay, okay, leaving. Pissing off now, bye." She bent her head and walked out while holding the chocolate to chest.
I chuckled softly when I closed the door after her. Yadiri was such a clown at times, I was so glad I had those girls in my life.
Walking back to my bed, I fell back on it and started counting fake stars on my ceiling. I stayed like that for a while, imagining what this party would be like before I received a new text. Picking up my phone and clicking on it, it was a message from Jess.
You better not go back to lying down or eating chocolates, I'll be at your door by 9:30. You better be ready before then!
I turned off my screen and placed it down with its face on my bed. Only one person knew the terrors this night had for me, and that person was Jess because she seemed to know everything. I shot up and headed straight to the bathroom.
My mind betrayed me and trailed to thoughts I really wanted to ignore, at least for the time being. I had already finished washing my body and my hair but I still stood under the flowing hot water, letting it soothe me, as thoughts of Khalid filled my head.
My head was filled with images of his full pink lips, his strong arms and legs, his beautiful jawline. I was oblivious to my rising member. I only made matters worse when I started imagining what his lips would feel like against mine, how it would feel to run my fingers down his well pronounced six-pack, what holding his full size in my hand would feel like.
I snapped out of it when I got a full hard-on. Taking a hold of my hardness, I felt a trickle of pre-cum drip from it's tip.
How did I let myself get here!
There was no going back now, my brain had betrayed me and so did my dick. I caressed the head of my hardness, slowly distributing the slimy liquid around it. The action sent shivers around my body. Before I could stop myself I gripped my whole length tightly and began to thrust and rub. Back and forth, I went.
My head hung back, my eyes rolled back into my skull as the intense self-inflicted pleasure shot through me. I jerked my hips when an image of Khalid's naked body flashed through my head, and I hadn't even seen him in only boxers before.
Grunting and moaning, I could feel myself climax and in seconds I erupted. Spraying my seed all over the decorative tiles of the shower wall. I wanted to stop and catch my breath but nothing and no one mattered to me at that moment, except the naked image of Khalid that I nursed in my head.
I continued rubbing and thrusting, despite peaking once already. The naked image of Khalid got more graphic when he started strip dancing for me. I didn't care that it wasn't real, I liked what I saw. Clenching and unclenching my thighs and buttocks with my eyes squeezed shut, I let out another round of soft moans.
My balls tightened and my entire body spasmed as I climaxed again, spraying the walls with white strings of my slimy liquid. I slowly lifted my eyelids and watched as my load lazily dripped down from the wall before getting washed off by the running shower water.
My legs felt weak, they couldn't carry me any longer so I rested with my hands and head on the wall for while, the shower continued to spray warm water on me.
After getting my breathing under control, I cleaned myself and the walls properly before shutting off the shower and drying my body with my big blue Cinderella towel.
While drying my body I silently prayed I hadn't finished all the hot water because the temperature dropped minutes before I turned it off.
Amidst the post-orgasmic bliss I felt was complete shock. I was surprised at myself, I could not believe I just wanked twice... to Khalid. That was some intense activity I should've avoided with my life!
I managed to put on my boxer briefs and the trouser Jess had picked out earlier before collapsing on my bed. I could tell I had spent over an hour in the bathroom, doing something I hadn't done since I started at Denberg. Feeling so exhausted and drained of energy, I fell asleep in no time.
Awoken by Jess who was hitting me continuously with a pillow, I realised I did not lock my door, and she was the only one who had the audacity to barge in. I peeked through my half opened eyes... and Yadiri, the both girls were in my room. I shot up from my bed, rubbing my eyes.
"Oh my God Olly it's 9:45 and you're still half naked!" Jess screamed.
Yadiri walked in and quietly closed the door behind her. They were both dressed up and ready. Jess wore knee ripped jeans and a white turtle neck sweater on white fashion Adidas sneakers. She finally found something to do with her hair, she had it in a black headband with white beads. While Yadiri wore a white long sleeved shirt tucked into black and white bum shorts and knee high maroon coloured heels, she had her usual beautiful hairstyling done. Though I feel she curled it some more and sprayed the tip to match the colour of her heels.
They didn't apply any heavy makeup yet they slayed in every single way possible, I was almost turning into a fan girl for them.
"What time is it?" I moaned, trying to process what Jess had said about the time.
"Ask me that one more time, just one more time I dare you." Jess threatened.
Such a menace.
"It's almost 10." Yadiri answered.
"Oh my God, I don't know what happened I just fell asleep." I threw on a white t-shirt before wearing my checked long sleeved shirt over it.
"Yeah you did, I mean why even? You've realistically been in bed all day, you've no reason to be tired." Jess scolded again.
"Well, unless I do." I smirked and raised an eyebrow at her.
"What?" Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Nothing, I'm kidding," I brushed it off. "The party is by 10 anyway, we don't want to arrive early and look like enthusiastic children who seldom get invited to parties." I added as I fixed my hair and checked my reflection in the mirror.
Jess let out some inaudible cuss words and frustrated rambles before speaking. "This is a freshman party, in the city. Every single freshman will be there with their cars, I want to park in a good spot." She complained as she walked to my bed and sat at the edge.
"What she's trying to say is if we arrive late the club's parking lot will be occupied, so we'll be forced to park somewhere far from the club and then walk down. And that is not very convenient." Yadiri explained more clearly to me.
"Oh," I voiced my realisation.
"Oh." Jess mimicked, rolling her eyes at me.
Mean, bully.
I put on one of my puma sneakers and checked myself in the mirror one last time.
"Done." I turned towards them.
"Here, apply this one." Yadiri threw something at me.
I caught it and examined it, it was one of her expensive looking pink lipsticks. Smiling at her, I turned back to the mirror and applied it. Smacking my lips and cleaning the extra edges, I walked over to her and handed the lipstick back.
"Okay, now I'm done."
We all grabbed our stuff and stepped out of my room, then I locked the door and we went straight down to the garage.
Almost half of the cars that used to be there were gone, including Khalid's. I then realised what she said about a good parking spot, the struggle was real.
The probability of Khalid already being at the party got me so excited and hyped.
Let's do this night!
We all got into the car and Jess started the engine.
_
PARTAY VIBES!
Jessica all dressed up and ready to slay. Oh sorry, she's already slaying.
Yadiri looking all adorable and slaying everyone, including herself. Oops.
Our baby Oliver, all dressed up and ready but still sitting in his bed and passively staring at nothing, because Jess keeps threatening him. But don't be deceived, he's so hyped for the party.
_
AN: Please don't forget to hit that cute star button! There'll be another update tomorrow! <3