CHAPTER 22
Fragile
"Congrats," nakangiting sabi ni Raven habang nakaupo sa sahig.
I just nodded and treated my own wounds. I can't avoid closing my eyes every time I feel the sharp pain pulsating on my arms. Ilang beses akong nasuntok at nasipa sa braso kaya nagkaroon iyon ng mga pasa pati sugat.
A month has already passed since I met him, at nandito kami ngayon sa rooftop matapos ang laro.
Hindi na kami bumalik sa lugar kung saan ako sumasali ng underground fights, at sabi ni Raven ay tutulungan niya akong bumalik ang lakas ko. I trained with him secretly at the back of Monarch every night.
Fortunately, it worked. My anger even subdued after he kept on saving for me, which is odd. And now, we won the Land of Imperials, but this time, Raven played the role of the King. We nearly wiped out the whole team in the game, as usual, they are probably being sent to a nearby hospital.
The King and Queen have the biggest role in the game. They secure the flags in order to win the game, but why do we always win? Because we hunt the enemies. We bring them down all together with our capabilities.
We will probably celebrate after I finish treating these stupid wounds. Hindi nakasama si Aquarius sa laro dahil masyado siyang napuruhan no'ng inatake namin ang gang ng mga lalaking pinagtulungan ako sa bar nung nakaraang linggo. I don't want to let those bastards escape after messing with me.
Napatigil ako sa ginagawa ko nang agawin niya sa akin ang alcohol at benda sa kamay ko. Napataas ako ng kilay sa kanya pero tinitigan niya lang ako.
Tinabihan niya ako at inangat ang braso kong puro sugat. I kinda messed up earlier, though. Napakunot ang noo ko nang hawakan niya ito at unti-unti kong nakita ang paghilom ng mga sugat ko.
Geez, he probably replicated Elena's ability earlier before leaving the arena. Nanatili lang akong tahimik at pinagmasdan siyang mabuti.
For an unknown reason, every time I look at him, I feel conscious.
He looks tired and exhausted, I wonder if he still rests. Halos araw-araw niya akong hinahatid pauwi gamit ang kanyang motor. He even treated me in a restaurant last week even though I rejected his offer.
But something is bothering me every time I see him in the morning. He always has strange bruises on his body. Kapag tinatanong ko siya kung saan iyon nanggaling, sasabihin lang niya may nakaaway siya.
I'm not that dumb to believe him. Nobody can injure him like that, he is untouchable.
Or maybe it's because of me?
"Raven," I called and he stopped to look at me.
"Yeah?"
"When do you want to keep this thing?" I asked and felt a thorn stuck in my throat. He dropped the bandage that rolled on the floor and looked at me with eyes asking for answers. His brows furrowed in confusion before asking me.
"What do you mean?"
"This dating thing," I said without hesitation, and silence enveloped us. He didn't utter anything, even a single word. He gave me a dazed look of bewilderment when I distanced myself from him. I inhaled sharply with my back facing him.
"I just don't like this anymore, Raven," I said coldly, but a side of me wants to take my words back.
"I can't focus on my gang, and I became weaker when I fought with you."
"I always think that you're playing with me after that day. I am supposed to be feared, but why the hell am I going out with a guy who defeated me?" Tears suddenly coursed down my cheeks, but I suddenly gasped when I felt him pull my arms and hugged my body tight. As if I'm a fragile thing that he wanted to treasure preciously.
"Artemis, I am not playing any games with you right now," seryoso niyang bulong sa akin.
I can't... move.
"G-Get the hell away from me," I whispered coldly and pushed him away. I saw betrayal in his eyes, so I closed my eyes before facing my back once again. I left him there as fast as I could while not looking back, but I felt a strange pain in my chest.
Shit, this is not me anymore.
* * *
"Temi, ngayon ang death anniversary ng Mama mo, diba?" biglang tanong ni Primo habang nasa kalagitnaan kami ng lecture. Oh, I almost forgot about it.
"Yeah," tipid kong sagot at nagsulat ng notes habang nagtuturo ang Professor namin. Even though I am the leader of a gang, nakakasabay pa rin ako sa pag-aaral. They almost call me perfect, pero hindi ako satisfied doon.
Hindi ko namalayan ang mabilis na pagtakbo ng oras at uwian na agad. Nagpaalam ako sa mga kasama ko dahil may pupuntahan pa ako bago ang meeting namin sa hideout.
I need to visit my mom's grave first. Habang palabas ako ng Monarch ay nakasabay ko pa si Raven sa paglalakad hanggang makalabas kami ng school. He didn't even bother to look at me. Do I look bad? Horrible? It is me who pushed him away though.
Bakit ba nag-iisip ako ng mga ganitong bagay? I should be happy because he looks fine right now!
"Woah, shit," I cursed when I heard a lightning struck in the sky. Madilim ang langit at lumalamig na ang hangin. Mukhang uulan pa mamaya. Shit, wala akong dalang payong.
Binilisan ko ang paglalakad hanggang sa makabili ako ng bulaklak sa malapit na flower shop. I bought a white camellia flower bouquet. I can barely remember my Mother's face because the last time I saw it, I was just five back then.
Nakarating na ako sa sementeryo at kaagad na hinanap ang kanyang puntod. I was confused when I saw a bouquet of flowers near her grave. Sino naman ang nagbigay neto?
Umiling nalang ako at tinabi ang bulaklak. Baka nagkamali lang ng bigay. Tahimik ang paligid at napansin kong parang may nakamasid sa akin, pero isinawalang bahala ko nalang iyon. Tinitigan ko ang puntod niya ang kumunot ang noo ko nang mapansing malinis ito.
Twilight Sceona Rocheril.
Her name is elegant as her. There's one thing I can remember about my mother, and it's her smile that I can't forget and have. Inilapag ko ang hawak kong bulaklak at umupo sa damuhan.
"It's been a while since I last visited you here," sabi ko habang nakatitig sa puntod. I was in the verge of breaking down, but I bit my lip. I can't cry right now, I should be strong like how I wanted to be.
But it was traumatic. I was just a five-year-old girl when I saw my mom hanging with a rope around her neck, lifeless. She took her own life while I ended up suffering more. Love broke my mom and she's still fighting for me, but not every person is strong.
"Wherever you are, I know you're happy." I tried to fake a smile but my chest aches so bad. Tuwing binibisita ko si Mama, nasasaktan ako. I couldn't do anything back then just to ease her pain. If I could just take her pain away, I'd do it.
Natigilan ako sa pag-iisip at tumingala nang maramdaman ang pagdampi ng tubig sa aking balikat. I wiped my face and hugged myself as the cold air touched my skin. I couldn't help it. I ended up crying like a baby in my Mother's grave.
Tuluyan nang bumuhos ang napakalakas na ulan. My tears were mixed with the rain. Basang-basa na ang uniporme ko pero hindi ko ito pinansin. My eyes instantly widened when I saw a shadow in front of me. Hindi ako nababasa ng ulan kaya napatingin ako sa itaas.
An umbrella for... me?
"Artemis, let's go home."
I froze on my spot when I recognized the voice of the person who spoke. He is here after what I've said to him. He should leave me here, alone.
"Go away," I said and my voice nearly cracked. He won't notice that I cried because of the rain.
"I will not leave you here alone. Magkakasakit ka n'yan." Tinignan ko siya nang mabuti at nag-aalala ang kanyang mga matang nakatingin sa akin. I wonder if that expression is true.
"Umalis kana, bakit ba ang kulit mo?!" I screamed that echoed in the silent cemetery and held my chest when I felt it ache again. Akala ko ay aalis na siya, pero yumuko siya at natigilan ako nang hawakan niya ang aking pisngi. I was breathless when I felt the warmth of his hand.
"I can't leave you like this."
Huh... his words seemed so true. I am afraid to trust people. I don't want to love people. I don't want to end up like her.
"You don't know how hard it is to ignore you."
I was scared of the word called love.
"Drop the act, Raven! Ano bang kailangan mo sa'kin? Natalo mo na nga ako, hindi ba? Ano pa bang gusto mo?!" sigaw ko at napansin kong natahimik ito. He removed his hand on my cheek and stared at my lips.
"Kaya mo naman ng wala ako. Aso ka ba para sundan ako palagi? It was just a fucking deal, pero bakit sineseryoso mo?!"
"I already knew that it was just me since the beginning," he said that made me speechless. Para akong nawalan ng boses nang makita ang kanyang mga mata. He has a look of torment that made me feel guilty.
"Why the hell would I be serious in that deal?" I lied. He just smiled at me and that was the most sincere smile I've ever seen in my whole life. Nahulog na ba ako? For my whole existence, it never crossed my mind to have affection for another person.
Lumapit ang mukha niya sa akin at nararamdaman ko ang pagtama ng kanyang hininga sa aking mukha. Parang nawala ang tunog ng paligid at ang naririnig ko nalang ay ang mabilis na pagtibok ng puso ko.
"I may be selfish, but I like you to the point that I don't want anyone to have you anymore Artemis," he whispered and cupped my cheeks.
I was stunned when I felt his lips on mine, and all I know is that I have a weird feeling in me.
"When tears fill your eyes, just hold my hand tight, please," he whispered, which made my heart pound. Am I falling? Damn.