"The baby you have is the baby you were destined to have. It was meant to be. That's what all the adoption people tell you, anyway. I'd like to think it's true. But everything else in the world seems so completely random. What if, one little thing, I said, or did could have made it all fall apart? What if I'd chosen another life for myself, or another person? We might have never found each other. What if I'd been raised differently? What if my mother had never been sick? What if I'd actually had a good father? What if? What if?...What..if? Your life is a gift. Accept it. No matter how screwed up or painful it seems to be. Some things are going to work out as if they were destined to happen. As if they were just meant to be."
-Meredith Grey, S8E13, "If/Then"
"There are times in our lives when love really does conquer all: exhaustion, sleep deprivation, anything. And then there are those times when it seems like love brings us nothing but pain. We're always looking for ways to ease the pain. Sometimes we ease the pain by making the best of what we have. Sometimes is by losing ourselves in the moment. And sometimes all we need to do to ease the pain is call a simple truce."
-Meredith Grey, S8E14, "All You Need is Love"
"When you've tried everything, but that headache won't go away, you can't stop coughing, the swelling won't go down... That's when you turn to a professional. As surgeons, we spend years developing skills of perception that allow us to see exactly what the problem is. The trouble is, some times all that time spent developing those skills of perception can leave a person with an extremely narrow point of view. And how are you supposed to argue with someone who has science on their side? Actually, finding out that you've been looking at things all wrong can be sort of liberating. And suddenly you see a new potential, new possibilities where you've never seen them before. And that's all fine when a hopeless situation suddenly looks good. Unfortunately, sometimes it goes the other way."
-Meredith Grey, S8E15, "Have You Seen Me?"
"As surgeons we're trained to consult with each other to get opposing views. We even encourage patients to seek second opinions. But why seek a second opinion when you know that you're right? Because if we're honest with ourselves, the surgeons are more like cowboys. We're more likely to go it alone. You can seek the advice of others, surround yourself with trusted advisers. But in the end, the decision is always yours, and yours alone. And when it's time to act, you're all alone with your back against the wall. The only voice that matters is the one in your head. The one telling you what you probably already knew. The one that's almost always right."
-Meredith Grey, S8E16, "If Only You Were Lonely"
Meredith sat on Anna's bed, listening to her read off of the index cards, answering the questions and scenarios expertly. Anna set the cards down, "Callie's already trained you how to answer their questions. You don't need to just study with yourself. Study with Alex, Cristina, April, and Jackson. You need to help each other."
"They have their own study groups." Meredith shook her head, "If they wanted to study with me, they would've asked."
"They're trying to use Lexie as a encyclopedia. Help them." Anna hands her the cards back and Meredith nods, "I'll figure something out."
Anna gave her a thumbs up, "A plus. Gold star. Whatever."
"The boards are almost here. I'm just nervous."
"You have nothing to worry about. You'll be fine. You've answered all of Callie's questions correctly."
"Thank you, Anna." Meredith put her hand over her stepdaughter's, looking her in the eyes before smiling.
Anna nodded, a small smile on her face. Derek opened Anna's door, making it creak, as he held Zola in his arms, "How's it going in here?"
"We're done." Meredith stood up, smiling, reaching out for Zola as Derek passed her to her mother.
"Dinner's almost ready." Derek told them. Meredith thanked him and carried Zola downstairs while he stayed behind to talk to Anna.
"How are you?" Derek asked, eyeing the letter from Addison on Anna's dresser, "Need to talk?"
"No. I'm okay." Anna knew he worried about her, he always does, even if she says she's fine.
"She, uh, didn't say anything new." Anna told him, filling him in, "Just what Aunt Amelia said over the phone."
"I'm happy for her." Derek smiled, "You should be too, Anna banana."
"God," Anna chuckled, "You haven't called me that in a long time."
"Well, you still are my little Anna banana. And Zola's my little Zo Zo." Derek walked over to her, leaning down the kiss the top of her head, "I'm so proud of you, kid."
"I should be saying that to you." Anna smiled, "I'll be down in a minute."
"'Kay." Derek closed her bedroom door.
Anna got up and grabbed the letter from Addison. She pulled out the two photographs and looked them over once again. Addison was now remarried to a man named Jake, a stepmother to a girl named Angela, and a mother to her newly adopted son, Henry. Her life changed drastically, and seemed so different, since the last time Anna heard from her. She wanted to write back, but didn't know how to start.
Anna read the first line of the letter again, "It's been a long time since we've had any contact with each other, and it may seem intentional, but I promise you it's not..."
Anna folded the letter up, putting the pictures back into the envelope. She would write back soon. In the end, she thought, Derek's life and Addison's life didn't turn out so different.
~ GREY'S ANATOMY ~
"Callie's planning something. I don't know what, but I hope I like it." Arizona said, grimacing, "That sounds like complaining, right? Am I complaining?"
"A little." April nodded as Anna hummed in agreement.
"No, I'm not complaining. Totally not complaining. It's Valentine's Day, and whatever my wife plans, I'll love it." Arizona whispered to herself, "God, please don't tell Callie."
"Hey." Lexie almost ran over her niece in the hall, looping her arm through Anna's, "Stopped by and saw Zola at daycare. She's so cute."
"Meredith with her?" Anna asked.
"Uh, no. She's with a patient. Your dad's in surgery. Owen called him to assist before anyone could even fix the board." Lexie explained, frowning at all of the lovey-dovey holiday decorations.
"So..." Anna whispered, "Still stalking Mark?"
"What?" Lexie shook her head, her face giving her away, as she was suddenly interested in the ground as Jackson walked by, "No."
"You've been practically spying on him. Why don't you just talk to him?" Anna tried to convince her, "Get it over with... maybe there's still a chance."
"There's not. I blew it. I was immature and he's moved on. I've tried to move on... I'm not not ready."
"If he rejects you, so what? Atleast, you'll finally know if you're wasting your time or not."
"I don't need to embarrass myself on this stupid... holiday. I have you and Zola. I'm sure my sister wants a babysitter while her and your dad spend the night at some insanely expensive restaurant." Lexie rambled.
"First of all, I'm not ten. And I don't know what they're doing. I've been finishing up my final senior projects while Meredith's been busy studying for the boards."
"Oh, God. The boards." Cristina commented, startling Anna and Lexie as she snuck up with chocolate in her hand.
~ GREY'S ANATOMY ~
"Can I just talk to you for a minute? I know you've been through hell, and I know I was part of it. And I know you're grieving, and there's no magic solution to that, but... we used to be friends. And I really... really need a friend today. So how about we just go across the street to Joe's, and I'll buy you a drink, you know? Or I will buy you many, many drinks."
"Are you done? Are you finished?"
"Yes."
"I hate you. From the moment you decided to put the needs of your hospital over my dead husband, I have hated you. I lie in bed at night alone, and I look at the spot where my husband used to sleep, and I actively... with every cell in my body, hate you. I wish you were dead instead of him. I think about all the soldiers, good men, who died over there in Iraq, and I don't understand what kind of God would allow you to survive. We are not friends. This is not grief. It will not pass. I hate you. Please... don't speak to me unless it's work related."
~ GREY'S ANATOMY ~
Anna, Derek, and Meredith were all suprised at who showed up at Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital the next day. It was Amelia.
"You haven't even looked." Amelia said.
"Amy, I am telling you, it is unrescetable. Let it go." Derek said, shutting her down.
"I came all the way from LA to show you this. You can spend more than 30 seconds."
"I am looking right at it. It's a gliosarcoma that has invaded the carotid artery. You try and remove it, she will stroke out."
"Stop being a jackass."
"Wow. I'm... she called... she called me a jackass. Dr. Grey, excuse us."
"Dr. Grey, stay right here. I need backup."
"You just got out of rehab. I want you to get on your feet. But you can't help her."
"Look at his face. His name is Mason. This gliosarcoma belongs to his mother Erica. He's a great kid. I don't know him that well, but he seems great. I do know his dad well. His name is Cooper, and he works with me and he is a good guy. He is a good dad, which means he is the one who is gonna have to tell Mason that his mom is dead, that he doesn't have a mom anymore because we didn't do anything."
"You tell Cooper you're sorry. You tried. Let it go. I have surgery."
Amelia sighed, as Meredith studied the scans, "Someone needs to do something."
~ GREY'S ANATOMY ~
"Oh, come... Meredith and I do not do everything together."
"The twisted sisters."
"Yeah, well, we're best friends. What do you expect?"
"She has a baby."
"Oh, my God. That doesn't mean I have to."
"I don't see why not. You do everything else together. It's like you're a team."
"Because she's my person."
"I should be your person!"
"Be my person! Be my person, Owen! Be my freakin' person! Be my person."
~ GREY'S ANATOMY ~
"Addison's doing great. She's happy. She's finally met someone who she gets along with. And I'm better. Sober." Amelia told Anna, holding Zola in her lap as they sat surrounded by her toys all over the living room floor.
"That's good."
"You don't miss her as much as you thought you would?" Amelia played with Zola, eyeing a quiet Anna across from her.
"Not as much as I used to."
"It's to be expected. You haven't seen each other since... what? The shooting? Time flies and it puts even more distance between us. I mean just look at how my own brother acts when I show up. Not to mention your Aunt's. They act like I've OD'd... like I'm dead."
"Why?" Anna shrugged, "I never understood that. Your sisters treat you like trash and Grandma never defends you. She lets them say whatever they want about you."
"Your Grandma's... well, she's always been a little dissapointed in anything I do."
"Even though you're one of her five surgeron children." Anna shook her head, "It's why I've never been as close to them as I have you."
"I know. I also know you and your dad stand up for me... more than any of them ever have." Amelia gave a small, appreciative smile.
Anna and Amelia spent the rest of the day together with Zola. They recorded Zola with the camera, watched kid friendly movies, lounged around with Lexie, Alex, April, and Jackson, cooked dinner for the rest of the family together, and listened to Cristina vent while waiting for Meredith to come home after helping Dr. Webber at the hospital. He was injured from an accident involving Adele and her worsening condition.
In the end, Derek did have his sister's back and worked on the patient she brought all the way here to Seattle. Anna finished her letter for Addison and included a recent family photo with Zola.