Something about that pseudo interview totally sapped my energy, and yet at the same time I'm wide awake. If I weren't worried about it being too late I would text the girls. Just so I could get my mind to stop running around in circles. It's not like I am even focused on anything either. I'm just wired.
I'm toying with pulling up YouTube and searching something random about my guys when there's a knock at my door. If I said I was surprised to find him on the other side I would be lying.
"I figured you would all be tuckered out after the concert. So, automatically I assumed you would be off to dreamland." I step aside to let him in.
"No, I was just thinking..."
"About...?"
"This." I don't have to ask what this is. Even if I could do so his pillowy soft lips are already crushing my own before I can even utter a protest. I find myself whimpering at the plush softness. The barely there pressure exquisitely sending rapturous sensations all over my body.
I reach my hands up to cup his cheeks within them, wondering what would happen if I barely graze that mark of mine on his cheek. If it will persuade him to deepen the kiss. Then, just like that, the sensation within me increases because I have found my target. I triggered those extrasensory sensations that find us both breathing deep and fast. He doesn't even have to trace my lips for permission because I am already opening them to him. If I thought his pillowy soft lips would be the reason his kisses would be so intoxicating then I was dead wrong. It's a magical combination of both his lips and his sinfully skilled tongue. I moaned out a sound that never came from my lips before, and while he makes a similar sound instead of continuing to play out our passions he pulls away.
I frown at him. He smiles a seductive half smile and pecks my lips. "Come, let's sit and keep each other company for awhile."
It's not what I want to do with Jimin now that I know what he is capable of with his mouth, but I can settle for it. We lay against the pillows brushing fingertips across each other's cheeks. His occasionally threading through my hair. "You really have a thing about running your fingers through hair. I mean you do it a lot, even when it's your own."
"Ya!" He grips my sides. I know he's considering tickling me but he decides against it. I wonder if it's because he knows that I am still on my period, or if he doesn't want to rush things. I could ask, but I choose not to. "Can you do me a favor?"
I arch an eyebrow. "I guess it depends upon what it is."
He sighs but nods at the fairness of my statement. "If anything is bothering you. Can you please not bottle it up inside? I don't care who you talk to about it. Just as long as you talk to one of us about it." He pauses for a second before tacking on. "Or even Rebecca or Candace." I know he has bottled stuff up himself in the past, and I don't doubt that he is inadvertently referring to those experiences of his own. I refrain from calling him out on it though. He's asking something of me. It's not time to veer off the path of the conversation.
"I can do that, of course. But, do you think that's what I am doing?" I am not certain where this is coming from, but I can sense that when he feels emotions; he feels them deeply.
"No, but when you shut us out, Even though it was for an understandable reason, I... It hurt me more than it should have."
He looks downward so I cup his chin urging him to look me in the eyes. "I don't plan on ever shutting you out again. Any of you. I was more embarrassed than anything else. If my monthly visitor had come before we met, and I had a month to deal with it for the first time then maybe my reaction would have been different. I just wasn't ready to go there yet."
Jimin nods. I didn't quite express myself well, still somewhat shying away from the issue, but he is willing to try to understand. That says a lot. I can tell he's thinking so I caress his face and wait for him to bring up whatever he is thinking. "Tonight, when I asked my question. You brought up Joshua. You said I reminded you of that moment, yet I only asked the question. How did I remind you of it?"
I wasn't ever going to utter the words that blurted from my mouth that day to any of them. Aside from Candace and Rebecca hearing it I had planned on taking that with me to the grave. But with Jimin I feel I can be freely open, and he won't judge me. (Not that I think any of them would. It's just different with him somehow.) So, I heavily consider telling him my exact reaction, but I start with something a little more simple first. "I could say that it was because he first approached you before all the others. But it wasn't that. Sure you were all doting on him and it was the cutest thing in the world. Somehow your interaction with him just seemed to be a bit more. I mean Tae was definitely a close second. The thing was you didn't just dote on him; he gravitated to you, and you gravitated to him. There was something exceptionally endearing about it. I.." Should I say it? "I unintentionally said something stupid when I saw you playing with him."
"I doubt anything you said could sound stupid." He punctuates the sentence with a peck to my lips. That barely there touch alone sends tingles down my spine, and makes me want to explore the recesses of his mouth all over again, but I refrain.
"I said that I thought my ovaries exploded."
"You said.. Okay... Wow.."
I give him a confused look. "You said that you doubted anything I would say could sound stupid."
"It doesn't sound stupid." He shakes his head. "It's funny, but I am more wrapped up in what it might mean."
"Huh?" Eloquent thy name is Daisy.
"If I said that when you entered with that tyke wrapped around you my heart lurched forward in my chest what would you say?" He asks.
"I don't know what I would say, but I would realize that having a family is an important concept to you."
Jimin nods. "It is. I love kids. Obviously I would want that with you. My worry is..there are seven of us. I mean the guys and I briefly discussed it, and we know what we are okay with. I just want to know what you think our family will be."
"I want a family. I want kids. I'm not sure I have it in me to have one pregnancy for each of you though." I shrug my shoulders. "Truthfully this is the first I am considering this train of thought at all."
"Jungkook was actually the one that helped us to come to terms with what could happen. He said something about us all being his brothers and that any babies that we had together would be all of ours. I mentally compared it to adoption also. Those babies brought into loving families that can't have them. It's a similar principle, only the little one would still have his or her biological dad, but also six others on top of that."
"I like that thought. I also like that you guys talked about it." I consider a thought peeking into the corners of my mind. "Science and medical procedures have made such astounding discoveries over time. I think it might be possible that they have found a way to introduce additional genetic material into a fertilized egg. It's an interesting idea to consider, and I would love to have you each represented in our child's eyes, but there is almost something too clinical about it. I would rather approach it naturally." There is also surrogacy, but I'm really not sure I want to go that route; if only because of their worldwide popularity.
Jimin's eyes seem to darken. "Speaking of naturally... I'm curious. Have you?"
I bite my lip and shake my head.
"You said you had been dreaming of your soulmate for so long. So I was guessing that was the case, but I wanted to know. I wanted to know because I wanted to tell you.." He frowns. "I should have waited. I wanted to, but I didn't."
"You don't have to worry or feel guilty about that." I shake my head. "I didn't necessarily expect you all to remain celibate. I'm not upset that you didn't. Nor do you have to talk about it if you don't want to. Just know that I am not going to hold your past against you like that."
We both smile at each other softly. Our eyes drooping ever so slightly as lethargy begins to kick in. "I should go back to my room before I fall asleep here."
"Yeah," my eyes begin to droop shut.
I sense him shifting beside me. "Daisy."
"Hmm?" I ask.
"Goodnight my sweet little flower." I feel his lips softly brush my cheek.
"Goodnight my adorkable mochi."
He laughs lightly. "Was I your adorkable mochi when we were kissing?"
"Mmm. No."
"Then what was I?"
"My dream come true."
"Only a fraction of your dream. But, I will take that fraction. I will take it because the other fractions make us all whole."
I'm not sure if I complete the movement, but I mentally nod at the last statement I hear from him before exhaustion completely takes over.
I wake up the next morning to find one of the pink daisies, from the vase, on my pillow and a note underneath it. I quickly rearrange myself so I am sitting up before I pick it up to read it.
Dearest Daisy,
I watched as your eyes fluttered closed, and I realized I just couldn't tear myself away quite yet. So, I watched you sleep for a bit. You sighed in your sleep, and even reached out as if I were still lying there beside you. I almost climbed back into bed to see if you would pull me close to you. I somehow managed restraint. I liked watching you like that, completely at peace. When I finally decided to go back to my room, as I got up I thought you sighed my name. It had me almost sitting back down and staying with you after all, but I knew that if I did that I would be too tired tomorrow so I left after that.
Forever Yours <3
Jimin
I first tuck the letter against my heart. Then I fold it neatly and put it in my purse for safe keeping.