The rest of the day was boring. Most of the guys were sick so they were sleeping and lounging around, and the rest of us pretty much did the same.
Later at night, Derek checked my head wound and I asked him if I could sleep next to him.
"Absolutely," he replied, although he kind of trailed off as though his thought wasn't completed.
"You sure? You sound like you have more to say," I called him out.
He chuckled, "I guess I'm just curious, why not with Cam? Did something happen?"
I sighed. I didn't want to hurt Cam by sharing what he told me, but I knew I could trust Derek. Aside from Jake, he was the one I confided in the most out here. I loved him like a brother, and I knew he would keep my secret. I tell ya, it was really hard to navigate these novel boy situations without having a girl friend here to talk things through with. "If I tell you, can you promise not to say anything?" I asked.
He nodded. "You have my word."
Okay, here goes nothing.
I began at the beginning, retelling the events of everything Cam told me and what I told him in return. As hard as it was for me, I admitted to Derek my feelings for Jake. I could see in Derek's eyes though that it was in no way surprising to him; any of it.
"Yeah... I had a feeling Cam was into you," he concluded.
This was shocking to me because I just barely could tell. "You did? How?"
"He made it pretty obvious and he's told Nathan he may be catching feelings. I didn't know he'd say anything to you though."
"A warning would have been nice, but we're good. Cam means a lot to me; you all do. But, I don't know what to do about Jake. I was going to tell him how I feel today, but when I got back he seemed so distant. How was he with you today?"
"He was concerned about you, but he didn't really start acting strange until you got back."
That's what I was afraid of. "Do you know why? I don't get what's bothering him."
"Jake is... well he's Jake. He's good at a lot of things, but sharing his emotions isn't one of them."
"That's true..." I agreed. Every time Jake and I had a deep talk it usually took some prodding on my end. Otherwise, he wore a tough exterior and it was hard to break through sometimes.
"Cass I wouldn't worry about it. If anyone can get him to talk it's you, and I'm sure he will be fine tomorrow."
"Let's hope you're right."
******
He wasn't right.
2 more days had passed; Jake wasn't sick anymore, and he still wouldn't talk to me. He had recovered fast, and he was already back to almost 100%. It must have been some sort of day flu that the guys caught because everyone was far along on the road to recovery.
I was sitting out on my favorite rock overlooking the lake; the one that Jake had caught me from falling off of the night after the quick sand. It made me sad that he was being so distant, and I needed to figure out why. He was driving me crazy. Out here, there really wasn't anything to take my mind off of him, so all I did was dwell on the situation all day... every day.
Don't get me wrong, he wasn't being rude; it wasn't in his nature. He still would acknowledge me if I said something to him, but he also hadn't looked at me in like 2 days, nor had he asked me to sleep by him again even though he was healthy. Something I'd been hoping he would do.
I was pulled from my thoughts as I watched Jake jump into the water. I expected him to stay nearby, but was surprised to see him keep on swimming until he disappeared behind the waterfall.
Okay, enough is enough. He's gonna talk to me, now.
Without overthinking, I jumped into the cool water and swam up to the waterfall, following the rocks along the edge like I had seen Jake do. I saw him sitting on the edge, his feet hanging off towards the water.
"Jake?" I called up to him.
"Cassie? What are you doing over here?" He asked, raising to his feet and coming over to the lowest edge of the rocks.
"Coming to see if you're okay," I replied, "how did you even get up here?" It was too deep for me to touch, so I was treading water. I felt the rocks leading up to Jake but they were slippery and I couldn't find a foothold anywhere.
He smirked at me and dropped a hand down. "Here, grab on; both hands."
I grabbed onto his hand and forearm with both of my hands. He grunted as he pulled me up out of the water with his his arm, using the other one to hold himself in place. He got me up high enough so that I could put a knee down onto the rocks, helping him to pull me up the rest of the way.
"Thank you," I smiled up at him, "Woah. This is actually kind of cool being behind the waterfall."
"Oh I know, isn't it? Sometimes it's nice to get away for a bit and this almost feels private."
"Yeah I understand. It's beautiful," I sighed and pulled my attention away from the waterfall cascading down around us to face him. "Jake... please tell me what's wrong."
"What makes you think something's wrong?" He asked.
"I don't know... you're being weird?"
"Weird? What do you mean?" He cocked an eyebrow at me.
"We've barely talked in two days! Ever since Cam and I came back from getting the ginger for you guys. Did I do something wrong?"
"No Cassie... of course not."
"Then what is bothering you? Please tell me Jake," I pleaded with him.
He ran his hands through his hair in an exasperated gesture before answering. "It's you. You are driving me insane."
Ouch. I felt like I had been slapped across the face. I didn't realize I bothered him so much. "Wow um... okay? Way to sugar coat it."
"No no, don't look so sad. It's not like that, it's just... fuck, I can't stop thinking about you Cassie. Every minute of every day out here I'm just consumed by thoughts of you. I love the way you blush, laugh, smile, say things that are unexpected; I love the way you care so deeply and always want to help; Even the way you constantly keep me on my toes. You're beautiful inside and out, and I can't stop thinking about what it would be like if we were together." He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his wet hair. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Nobody had ever expressed their feelings to me the way he was, and I was overwhelmed with emotion.
"When I was sick and you had to sleep next to Cam or Derek instead, it killed me," he continued, pacing back and fourth. "The first night with Cam, I heard the thunder and I knew you were scared. I felt the temperature drop and I knew you were cold, and the worst part was, I couldn't do a damn thing! Seeing you look so tired the next morning just confirmed it and it drove me crazy. And THEN," he stopped to point a finger at me, "you and Cam return from your little ginger trip and I find out that you two almost got attacked by a bear?! That literally drove me insane Cassie."
His eyes were wild as he spoke. I felt like I needed to say something now just to calm him down, "Jake I..."
He cut me off, "You don't have to say anything. I don't expect you to feel the same way about me. I mean, why would you? I'm sure some of the other men out here have told you the same thing. I see the way they look at you. I'm not stupid. I just really needed you to know how I feel, for my own sanity. I mean fuck; look at me, I'm standing here with you behind a waterfall, ranting like a crazy person."
I put a hand on his bare chest to grab his attention. "Jake. Stop talking for a second," I smiled, "I do feel the same way about you."
"You do?" He said, his voice almost a whisper.
I smiled and nodded before replying. "I knew from the moment I met you when you saved me from the plane, or even before that actually with just our conversation that you were special. You've spent every day out here impressing me and protecting me; saving my life SO many times. But it was the other day when you jumped off of a cliff to save me that I realized my true feelings for you. I think I was scared before to have any feelings for any of you guys because I know we're all stuck out here together, and I didn't want to mess anything up... but Jake I... I feel the same about you. I have for a while now. You make me feel so happy, and safer then I ever could have imagined I'd feel out here."
Jake's face lit up, he reached down cupping my face in his hands and locking his emerald green eyes on mine. "Then I need to tell you; I'm in love with you."
"I love you too," I replied before he pulled me into a kiss.
The minute our lips touched, I felt a spark I've never felt before. I loved this man, and he loved me too. Here we were under a waterfall, away from everyone else, and everything else we had been through just didn't seem to matter. I was consumed by him, and this kiss was something I had been wanting from him for a while.
His kiss was gentle, yet strong and passionate. I wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. His hands dropped to my butt, sliding down to my thighs as he lifted me off the ground. I instinctively wrapped my legs around his muscled torso as he walked until my back was pressed up against the cold, rough wall of rocks. Streams of water were running down the wall and breaking off of my back, adding a cool spark to the sensation. I shuddered at the intensity and tightened my legs around him, urging him to come impossibly closer.
His lips parted and mine followed, allowing his tongue to connect with mine, swirling together perfectly in sync. His breathing picked up as he continued to kiss me, dropping a hand from my butt and threading it through my hair.
"God Cassie you're so beautiful," he muttered before heading back in for another kiss. I blushed and kissed him back with the same amount of intensity.
I don't know how long we remained like this; my mind wasn't focused on anything else but him. The way his body felt against mine and the way our lips moved perfectly in sync. Eventually, he backed away from the wall and I unhooked my legs from his waist as he eased me back onto my feet.
I smiled up at him as I tried to catch my breath. "Well that was..."
"Fantastic?" He filled in with a charming grin.
"Yeah," I blushed, "I guess it was. So... what happens now?"
He came forward and placed one more small yet passionate kiss on my lips before whispering in my ear. "Now, you're mine."
I was completely at his mercy as I whispered back automatically.
"I'm yours."
_______________________________________
They FINALLY kissed!!! Who's excited!?
Sorry to make you wait until chapter 35, but honestly I think the build up is the best part of a story and always makes the kiss worth it. Thoughts on this? Is it just me who thinks so?
-Haley