A/N: Sorry for the delay. Work is kicking my ass and I wanted to take some time with this part because it's kind of a big deal......so here we go....
Ashten sighed deeply as she stepped into a steaming hot shower and let the water run down her aching body. Although she would have been content to just stand idle and let the heat soothe her muscles she was more than delighted at the chance to wash away the sticky residue left behind from the tape which held her IV to her arm. She was also all too happy to scrub off that intoxicating blend of latex, rubbing alcohol and bleach which seemed to permeate every hospital and attach itself like a parasite to any available body.
Too bad she wouldn't be able to wash away the day as easily as she washed the complimentary emergency room cologne from her hair.
Alex's staff kept her in the ER until around midnight to ensure she was out of the danger zone only discharging her when they felt certain the medication was serving its initial purpose.
Ashten was never one to be easily shocked but she would be the first to admit when she read her chart at the hospital she didn't quite know what hit her. For the first time in as long as she could remember she was truly at a loss for words.
What the hell had just happened? And HOW did it happen?
She wondered the same aloud to Alex earlier when he dropped her back off at the hotel. He rattled off the medical statistics regarding the rate at which vasectomies and the pill can fail, even though they both knew the question was rhetorical. She knew how it'd happened. She was a doctor too after all and was well aware of how biology worked. She also had to admit to herself that this very well may have been her fault. Her crazy travel schedule while on tour with Mötley had messed her calendar up so much she barely knew what day it was half the time. In turn, she'd inadvertently missed some of her birth control pills. Typically, she would have taken other precautions such as having some Plan B pills on hand but she figured with Nikki's vasectomy they had no cause for worry.
Apparently, she was wrong.
But she supposed the how of it all didn't really matter much. It'd happened just the same. She and Nikki would just have to navigate through it the best way they could.
Nikki
He was another issue entirely. Maybe not so much him, but his abrupt absence wasn't sitting well in her gut.
Ashten turned off the water and stepped out of the shower letting out another deep sigh as she checked her phone for approximately the hundredth time that night.
No text messages. No missed calls.
She'd been trying to reach Nikki ever since he left the hospital. That was at six that evening. Countless text messages and six calls that went straight to voicemail later it was now almost 2:00 AM and she hadn't heard a word from him.
Ashten wasn't quite sure the meaning of the radio silence but she was almost certain it wasn't good. A silent Nikki was never a good thing. He'd already been teetering on the edge and this latest piece of news surely didn't do much to keep him from losing his grip on the earth.
After drying off she sat on the bed in her hotel room brushing out and drying her hair, an Audrey Hepburn movie on mute her only companion. Ashten had prebooked their rooms months in advance so she still had one reserved for herself, which she took advantage of the previous night believing she had the flu and didn't want to infect Nikki. Turns out there was no danger of passing along non-existent germs and normally she would have welcomed the solitude, but that night it was unnerving.
She finished getting the tangles out of her hair and turned off the dryer, checking her phone one last time.
Nothing.
Just as she was jumping the line from worried to fed up she heard muffled voices and loud footsteps in the hallway, followed by the opening and heavy shutting of doors. The stampede-like ruckus that made the floors shake could only mean one of two things. Either North Carolina was having its very first earthquake in the history of the state, or the Terror Twins and their entourage had arrived.
As she slipped on a pair of navy blue sweat pants and one of Nikki's black t-shirts Ashten couldn't help but notice the knowledge of his presence wasn't quite the relief she'd been hoping for. Instead, a feeling of disconcert ran through her as she exited her room and crossed the hall, using the spare copy of the key card to Nikki's room she always had to open his door.
The room was dimly lit by a single lamp on the nightstand and as she walked in the smell of sulfur from a recently lit match caught her nose. Immediately followed by the scent of cigarette smoke, leather, and whiskey.
Nikki sat across the room at the table, his chair against the wall and his hand wrapped around a three quarters empty Jack Daniels bottle.
She was so glad to see him back and all she wanted was to curl up in his lap and listen to him tell her everything was ok. But she didn't because the look in his eyes screamed that all was not as kosher as she'd hoped.
He watched in silence, squinting slightly and studying her, as she silently padded closer to him and took a seat on the edge of his bed.
"Why hello, darling," he said cooly with no affection or endearment as he brought his cigarette to his mouth, the cherry on the end illuminating as he puffed.
"Hey," she responded in a tired voice, her eyes stuck on the bottle of liquor. Ever since his last stint in rehab Nikki had always made a point to be extremely cautious about drinking. He'd have one or two socially but never alone. And never straight from the bottle.
"Want a drink?" He held up the bottle to her when his eyes followed her gaze.
"No thanks."
"Wanna quit staring at mine, then?"
She cut her eyes back to his, slightly taken aback at his shortness. "Tell me you're fine and I won't say a word about it."
"Fine." He repeated, his face twisting into a menacing smirk and torso slightly jerking as if he were silently laughing. "Define fine."
Although unsure of what to say, Ashten opened her mouth to reply only to be cut off before getting out a sound.
"You know I didn't really think anything would get my mind off of Donna and her ploy to take my daughter away from me, but you...." he let out a snide laugh and took a pull from the bottle then pointed at her, "you fucking nailed it, babe."
"Glad I could help?" She knitted her eyebrows together in slight confusion and stood reaching over to grab his cigarettes, taking one for herself. She nodded a thanks to him when he flipped his zippo to offer a flame.
Ashten took a drag and exhaled deeply. The silence around them was becoming thicker than molasses but not nearly as sweet. "You want to talk about it?"
Nikki took another drag from his cigarette and inhaled sharply. "Sometimes talk is overrated as a means of resolving disputes."
"Is there a dispute?"
"Yeah, I think there is," he snuffed out his cigarette and sat back in his chair, his ankle crossed over his knee.
"About?"
"Let's start with you being pregnant. Why didn't you tell me?" Nikki's smirk faded and his green eyes held anger and hurt strong enough to pierce her skin.
"I didn't know," Ashten replied simply.
"Didn't know? Or didn't want me to know?"
"What does that mean?
"You tell me."
Ashten narrowed her eyes and leaned over towards him to snuff out her cigarette. She stood up straight crossing her arms over her chest, her hip cocked.
"If you've got something on your mind then say it and stop trying to talk in circles." She scowled at him in irritated bafflement.
Nikki took another chug from his bottle, setting it down firmly as he flicked his penetrating gaze back on her. "I'm just trying to figure out how even though I'm sterile my girlfriend magically got pregnant."
Ashten's stomach once again lurched sickeningly at his tone, which was not just perplexed, but mistrustful and annoyed. "Vasectomies fail, Nikki. Maybe you aren't as sterile as you thought."
"Maybe," his eyebrows lifted in accusation. "Or maybe you're just fucking someone else."
Ashten's breath was trapped in her lungs. She had expected him to say something, something sardonic maybe but... not that. Knowing she needed to say something back her voice finally allowed a breathy reply. "What?!"
"Do you need me to say it again?"
"Yeah, Nikki. Maybe you should because I can't believe my fucking ears right now!" Anger had hit her eyes at the implication and her mouth tightened. "Why would you even think that?!"
"Why wouldn't I? You've got a cunt between your legs just like the rest of them," Nikki spat back at her, his words slightly slurred.
"Ah, I see." Ashten stood up and shook her head, still poised and calm. "This isn't about me at all. You're pissed at Donna and you're projecting it on me....
"Don't bring her into this. This has nothing to do with her." Nikki cut in, not waiting for a response he got to his feet and slowly walked towards her. Upset as he was, he was unable to stop himself from lashing out. Though whether his bile was meant for her or for his ex, she was unsure. Either way his next outpouring of spite cut deep as his voice lowered in a sickeningly accusatory tone.
"Maybe you did fuck Derek. Maybe that's why he wouldn't leave you alone." He reached out and palmed her cheek, running his hand slowly down her neck to her breast where he grabbed a handful. "Maybe he got a taste of something he liked. I know first hand how good you are. Your mouth. Your pussy.."
"Stop it." Ashten gritted her teeth so hard she feared her enamel would crack.
"How good you taste," Nikki ignored her warning and continued his verbal assault, his arm wrapping around her while his hand continued to roam her body, resting on her ass and giving it a harsh squeeze. "How did he feel inside of you?"
"Shut up—"
"Did you come on his tongue?"
"Shut up—"
The sinister smirk came back and he leaned into her ear, his hot, whiskey laced breath making her stomach churn. "Or maybe it was Tommy. God knows you were dead set on not telling him about us. Who else did you spread your legs for, baby?"
Ashten felt her heckles rise in irritation and she found the strength in her fatigued muscles to push him away a few feet. As he stumbled back in an intoxicated wobble she let out a sarcastic snort.
"Everyone Nikki! Everyone! I rode every dick that crossed my path! Hard! Is that what you want to hear?!" She fired at him watching while he got his footing back and glared at her. His eyes were bright and hard with anger and a bitterness she knew had lived in him far longer than just the past few hours.
"Ya know, I don't think I give you nearly enough credit for your levels of creativity. Your imagination is outstanding." Ashten scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"Funny. Real funny. Am I'm some kind of fucking joke to you?!" Nikki roared, clearly not amused at her cavalier attitude towards his unfounded accusations.
"Jesus Christ, this is fucking stupid and ridiculous!" Ashten spoke to the ceiling. She knew arguing with a drunk was about as pointless as tits on a nun. "We're not doing this. Sober up and when you get out of this phantasm of your own creation and shake off the toxic denial we can talk."
"Toxic denial?" Nikki snorted. "Is that your psycho babble bullshit?
She ignored the dig. "Denial. It comes in many forms. Like avoidance. Transference. You know? All the shit you're doing right now to avoid dealing with something you don't want to deal with? Fine, whatever. Do what you gotta do, but I'm not going to stand here and listen to it and I'm sure as shit not going to be your punching bag."
"Mhm," Nikki nodded, in mock understanding. "Is that your medical opinion, Dr. Montgomery? Oh wait, I forgot! You aren't really a doctor anymore."
Ashten narrowed her eyes and clenched her hands into fists. "I'd choose my next words very carefully if I were you."
"Really? Why?" Nikki pushed, knowing he'd hit a hard nerve. "You gonna run away from me like you did from your career? Because you're a big fucking coward?"
She swallowed down the pain of the cheap shot he'd taken and against her better judgement chose to engage. She rounded on him and realized how hard she'd been holding onto her temper as she threw a low blow. "You're one to talk about running away and hiding, aren't you? Frankie." She flared her eyebrows for emphasis.
"What the fuck did you just call me?" Nikki's eyes widened in mix of rage and bewilderment. His blood began to boil in response to the use of name on his birth certificate. The name linking him to a past he wanted to forget and to a man who never wanted him.
"You heard me," Ashten turned on her heel and took a step towards the door, her heart pounding against her ribcage. She hated this cold and wretched attitude of his and it pained her more than she know how to handle.
Nikki's seething voice stopped her as he continued to unload on her.
"Maybe I did run away. But I ran towards something. Unlike you. You ran scared. A couple of kids die and you used it as a reason to give up everything you ever worked for and everything you dreamed of. Ran with your tail between your legs. To what? To be an assistant? To follow around a rockstar and become nothing more than a glorified groupie?." Nikki took another drink and sized her up in disgust, continuing to unleash the poisonous venom he wielded so well when he wanted to. "God, could you get more pathetic? I never should have..." he caught himself for a brief moment, knowing immediately he was about to take it too far.
"Go ahead. Say it." Ashten is almost full-on shaking. She knew if she didn't get out of that room soon she was going to cry, and break, and she would be damned if she gave him the satisfaction.
Puffing out air through his nose he fired at her. "I never should have fucked you. I knew it'd end up being some bullshit hassle."
Ashten seethed, trying not to let him know how much his words had stung her. She stared at him for a beat, his gaze heavy on hers, everything quietening around them. "Have you had enough? Said everything you wanted?"
Nikki stepped closer to her, hungry for a reaction. With the blade of his words jabbed forcefully between her ribs, Ashten maintained her normal air of composure and strength. She seemed unflappable and, in that moment, he hated her for it.
"I think I'm done," he growled, lowly, his eyes narrowing at her.
Asthen choked back the bile that was rising from her gut to the back of her throat as she searched his eyes for any inkling of the Nikki she knew. The one she loved and the one she would give anything for. But he wasn't there. In his place was a bitter, jaded drunk who looked at her like she was garbage. And it broke her heart.
"Yeah, me too." She met his eyes once again before turning and exiting the room.
And as she closed the door behind her she caught the unmistakable sound of a Jack Daniels bottle hitting the wall and shattering.
A/N: I don't love this chapter and DON'T HATE ME for what I just did. As always I love reading your comments. Love to you all!