A/N: Happy New Year!
All the love❤️
78: I want to believe
Pi
“Well, hello there sissy,” walang emosyong bati sa akin ni John nang makita ako.
Hello there sissy?!
This little asshole!
“That’s it?!” hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko. I was gone for two years and that’s just it? This kid! I could punch him straight in his face!
“What?” he asked with confused face, looking bored as hell.
“John!” he knew I am angry if he hears me using that tone.
But my brother just crossed his arms. “What do you expect me to do? Hug and kiss you? No, magseselos ang girlfriend ko.”
Wait, he has a girlfriend already? Well what do I expect? It’s been two years at sa dalawang taon na iyon ay iniwasan kong magkaroon ng kahit anong balita sa kanila. It was hard but I did it.
Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. “You have a girlfriend?!”
He nodded at me. “Yup, Emma Watson.”
I choked.
“What’s up?” tanong niya sa akin. “I’m taking over soon.”
“Taking over what?”
He gestured his hands around. “The business, ano pa nga ba? Unless you’re back to...” He opened his mouth and covered it with his palm. “Balak mo bang agawin sa akin ang pamumuno ko sa negosyo?!”
Pinaningkitan ko siya ng mata. Seriously, iyon talaga ang mas concern niya ngayon? He’s not even showing some fake interests now that I stepped into the light and show myself to him?
Napatigil ako nang bigla siyang humalakhak at tumalon palapit sa akin. He threw himself to me at niyakap ako. It’s just two years yet he’s already taller than me. “Kidding aside, I miss you sis!”
Gumanti ako ng yakap sa kanya. “Sira ulo ka talaga. I thought you didn’t miss me.”
“I do,” sagot niya. “Pero sino ba kasing tanga ang naglayas?” He pulled away and looked at me. “You have no idea how much you drove Dad and your husband crazy.”
Mapait na ngumiti ako. That’s basically why I left kaya kailangan huwag kong paapektuhan ang sarili ko. “I know,” mahinang sabi ko.
But what, si dad lang at si Rocket ang naghanap sa akin?
My eyes turned to slits when I faced him again. “Ikaw, hindi mo ako hinanap?”
“I did,” sagot niya sa akin. “And I found you after eight months.”
“You did?!”
He grinned at me. “Yup. But I respect your decision sissy so kahit halos mabaliw na ang mga naghahanap sa’yo, I never gave them a hint. I know at some point you are stupid in making decisions but I know eventually you will realize how foolish you are.”
“Are you calling me stupid?!” nakataas ang isang kilay na tanong ko.
Tumango siya sa akin. “Yes, in fact I said it twice already.”
Pabirong tinulak ko siya palayo. “Get away from me.”
He chuckled. “So, are you back for good? Did the drug I give to bro Cooler worked?”
He supplied the drug? How traitorous!
“Ikaw?!”
He shrugged and tapped his chest proudly. “Sis hindi mo pa sinasagot ang tanong ko. Are you back for good?”
I sighed heavily. “Hindi ko alam.”
“Oh there you go again,” sabi niya at natampal ang noo. “Do you have any idea how many woman wants your husband? Sis, if I were a girl I would have snatched him from you. Man was thoughtful and kind. He spend every holidays with us because he said we’re his family kahit iniwan mo siya. And he knew pretty much about computer and stuff. Well, not really as good as my idol Apollo but still he knew enough! How could you... ah basta ang tanga mo.” He looked at me with so much distaste.
“John quota ka na sa panlalait mo sa akin,” I rolled my eyes at him.
“Dahil totoo naman,” pagpapatuloy niya. “How could science says men mature late than women, ikaw yata ‘tong hindi pa rin nagmamature.”
I made a face before throwing a punch on his gut. He made a groan at napangiwi sa sakit. Nilagpasan ko na lamang siya at umakyat sa hagdan. “I’m going to see Dad.”
Nang marating ko ang kwarto ni daddy ay kumatok muna ako bago pumasok sa loob. He was fed by her caregiver at agad siyang napangiti nang makita ako.
“My prodigal daughter,” bati niya at itinaas ang kamay.
Mabilis akong tumakbo papunta sa kanya at niyakap siya. My dad’s in a wheelchair and I felt guilty knowing his struggles for the past years. Naramdaman kong hinalikan niya ang buhok ko habang tumatawa siya. “You’re finally home.”
“I’m sorry dad,” sambit ko.
My dad just hugged me tighter. Walang sumbat, walang paninisi and it’s making me felt more guiltier than I should be. Bakit hindi ko namana ang tatag ng kalooban niya? Bakit naging duwag ako na harapin ang anumang maaring mangyari sa buhay ko? The answer I got is that I can take all hardships all by myself ngunit ayaw kong maranasan din iyon ng mga mahal ko. Unknown to me, no matter what you do, we tend to hurt people in every way. It’s just that you have to soothe the pain if ever you caused it.
Like how mom never left my dad when she learned he cheated at si Zero ang naging bunga niyon. She gave him a chance and dad has proven himself worthy of that opportunity she gave. Like how dad swore to dedicate the rest of his life to us, his children.
What I did was childish. Running away from problem is so childish and coward. I am still afraid of making disappointing decisions but maybe I’ll take the shot.
***
RYU
Delving into government secret projects and reading through the confidential files is just a normal thing to me. When you’ve been doing it since you teenage, it gets boring. The series of 1 and 0’s are just a routine. Codes to break were breakfast cereals and firewalls are milk.
But when you pretend to find everything amusing, it gets interesting. Or that’s what you want to convince yourself. I focused on the black box that keeps popping up on my screen, tried to read every binary code just to distract myself.
But the problem when you tried to forget something, the more it keeps lingering in your mind.
Maybe I should get a bitch to entertain me. Knowing I cannot do anything to keep myself busy, a dumb slut would do. Not like I cannot. I wasn’t kidding when I say I had a bunch of bitches before.
It took few dials and now I’ve got a slut roaming inside the house, particularly at the dining area.
“This is a surprise Ryu,” nakangiting sabi ni Dahlia sa akin. Was it Dahlia or Danica? Not really sure though. Ang alam ko ay kambal sila and I cannot pick who’s who so dam it, who cares what her name is? Woman was some business tycoon’s daughter I knew from the past.
Mahinang tumango lamang ako sa kanya.
She smiled at me at inilapag sa gilid ang dalang bag. “Oh, I brought takeout food, mind if I set up your table?
“Sure go ahead,” sagot ko sa kanya at sumandal sa counter. Pinanuod ko siyang kumuha ng mga plato at inilabas ang dalang steak. I stared at her bloody red nails and slender fingers but my mind wandered somewhere.
If Pi didn’t leave I’m sure we’ll seldom eat takeout food. As her husband, I vowed to serve her and that includes making meals. I smirked to myself when I remember she’s good in pointing guns but she cannot even fry hotdogs well.
She’d love if I make her snacks as she watches her favorite gore movies.
I shook my head to clear my mind. What the fuck am I thinking? Am I a sadist for keeping on thinking of her? Hindi ba klaro sa akin kung ano talaga ako sa kanya? Woman has only taken me for granted. Oh right. She told me before she liked my dick and pretty face. That’s it.
“Ryu?” naramdaman ko ang mahinang haplos sa balikat ko kaya nawaglit iyon sa isipan ko. Dahlia- or Danica-whatever smiled at me. “Let’s eat?”
I shoved her hand away before walking towards the table.
“This steak from this resto is particularly good,” Dahlia- Danica, fuck it, whatever her name is said as she put food on my dish.
I mumbled a thanks and started playing with the meat.
“I heard business is good,” she tried to open up a topic as she munched on her steak. “Balita ko bumili ng ilang shares ang mommy mo sa kompanya ni daddy.”
Steak.
Pi loves steak.
“This is really the best steak,” dagdag niya.
Madalas niyang inuubos ang pagkain ko noong buntis pa siya.
“The place is good too, maybe some time we can go there. They hire the best violinist,” whatever her name is said. Why the hell is she so noisy? Can’t she shut up and just fucking eat?
And speaking of violin, Pi knows how to play one. She actually plays a lot of instrument to my surprise.
She can do almost everything.
Except staying.
Damn it.
Narinig ko ang pagbagsak ng kubyertos. “You’re not really interested, are you?”
Mula sa plato ko ay nag-angat ako ng tingin. Now she’s pissed. Ah, my fault. I should get Pi out of my fucking brain. I am mad at her but she still stays on my mind like a fucking permanent tattoo. Trying to get rid off her would mean pain.
But I know I should.
Tumayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo. “I didn’t call you for dinner.”
I grabbed her from her seat, pulling her towards me and kissed her.
No butterflies, no anything.
I am not even getting any hard on.
Dahlia- Danica was quick to respond. She tiptoed on her toes and jumped a bit, wrapping her legs around my waist. I shook my head and cleared my mind as I walked towards the counter. She started getting aggressive, probably enjoying this.
Her hands trailed from my arms to my shoulders and I began kissing her neck up to her jaw.
Maybe this could help me forget, the least. For a while.
Her hand started feeling my back but then she suddenly stopped when she heard a voice.
“You have three seconds to get your hands off my husband. Three seconds before a stab you with a fucking T-bone steak down your throat and your eyes.”
It was Pi.
I stopped looking her over my shoulders. Why does seeing her just causes more pain?
“What?” Da- whatever her name is asked.
Pi glanced a her wristwatch. “Times up. Get away from her Rocket. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to clean blood of this woman from your body.”
Instead of relief, seeing her pissed me to the utmost degree. I was beyond mad. Galit na galit ako, hindi sa kanya kundi sa sarili ko. She’s here, acting high and mighty over me and I, deep inside I know I was happy like a damn puppy wagging his tail.
I am going to let her destroy me again.
I shouldn’t.
Napabuntong-hininga ako. “What are you doing here Pi?”
She held the steak on her right hand. “I’ll answer that later okay? Now move aside and I have some business to do. Where should I start? Sa mata o sa lalamunan?”
Da- whoever definitely got scared, I can feel the way her grip became harder.
Pi’s eyes turned into slits as she eyes her hands on my shoulders.
I moved fuck what her name is off the counter. “Go home.”
“But--”
She hesitated knowing Pi was there, ready for attack any moment.
“She’s scary!” reklamo nito.
She is.
“Just go,” sabi ko.
“Why?” pag-aalinlangan niya.
Pi smirked at us. “You know every second you stay inside this house is equivalent to one stab.”
I brushed my fingers on my hair. “Go Dahlia.” There I picked her a name.
“I am Danica!” nakakunot ng kilay na sagot niya.
“Just go.”
She took a step away from me and at the same time Pi took a step towards her. Before she could stab her with the steak bone, I grabbed her by the arm and Danica was screaming as she went out the kitchen.
“Bitawan mo ako Rocket, I am going to kill that woman!” she screamed trying to get away from my grip.
“Anong ginagawa mo rito Pi?” tanong ko sa kanya, opting to ignore how she threatened the poor woman.
“Let me go I am going to slaughter her!” pagpupumilit niya.
“You’re not going to stab her,” sagot ko sa kanya at kinuha ang hawak niyang buto.
“I am!” she still tried to break free, determined to follow her wherever.
“You left, bakit ka pa bumalik?” tanong ko sa kanya. I do not mean to sound bitter but I cannot help it.
Can I just be fucking happy for once?
“Obviously to claim you!” she replied. “Now bitiwan mo ako, I have to at least stab that woman seventy eight times!”
“What drug did you sniff this time?” I asked with sarcasm.
“I don’t do druggies!”
“So what’s this?” Now I am angry. Damn it, again hindi sa kanya kundi sa sarili ko. “What am I, a baggage you left at a fucking mall’s baggage counter and here you are, claiming me? Am I that worthless to you?”
That calmed her a bit.
“No Rocke--”
I cut her off. “You know what? Pagod na ako sa ganito. Why can’t I just be fucking happy? Why do you have to take me for granted? You act like you care but then you’ll leave when you decide to leave. Spare me from your little games. Get the hell away from me if you have no intention to stay!”
She stood looking still angry as she was a while ago seeing me with another woman. she raised her head high as she could with her hands on her waist.
“No,” she said.
And that was something I want to believe... but I shouldn’t.
#
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