#CTG35 Chapter 35
Iñigo sent a text saying na hindi daw matutuloy 'yung Tagaytay trip namin dahil biglang may kailangang gawin siya sa work. I said that it was okay although I was kind of looking forward to it. 'Yun 'yung unang beses na may gustong i-date ako. I guess I was just too intimidating to other people and I had no qualms about it. I believe that the right guy wouldn't be afraid to talk to me—gaya ni Iñigo na ang kapal ng mukha.
Instead, I spent my day with Chase who apologized na hindi siya naka-punta sa salubong ko. I told him it was okay. Hindi lang talaga kami ganoong pamilya... I couldn't remember going to any of my brother's graduation. It's just how it was with our family. At least, it was how our father raised us. Still, I was thankful. Pakiramdam ko naman lumaki kaming maayos.
"Are you sure about this?" I asked as I watched Rory pack her bags. She suddenly sent a text saying na uuwi na siya ng Pangasinan at ibebenta niya na iyong condo niya. I didn't think she was serious until I arrived here at her condo and all things were already packed.
"Yup. Nagmumukmok lang ako dito sa Manila. Baka maka-tulong 'yung fresh air sa 'kin," she said, smiling although I knew better than that.
With nothing better to do, I helped her pack. A little later, dumating si Jax. Sa sasakyan niya pala ilalagay 'yung ibang mga gamit ni Rory. She had so many things. Ilang taon silang nagbahay-bahayan ni Yago.
"I'm worried about her," I said as I sat on Jax's car. Rory insisted on driving alone kaya sa sasakyan ako ni Jax naka-sakay. "Nakaka-usap mo ba si Yago?"
"Hindi sumasagot. Nasa bundok yata," he replied.
"Bundok?"
"Yeah... That's his new hobby," Jax said.
"Pano 'yung sa BAR niya?"
"Next year daw."
Hindi ako sumagot. I wasn't Yago's biggest fan... He's just too talkative for me. I could never review with him around because he's always saying something non-sense para pansinin ni Jax. But with Rory like this? I'd rather have Yago annoy me to death. I really didn't like seeing Rory so down. It's so weird.
"Pano kapag bumagsak si Rory tapos magkita na naman sila next year?" I asked.
"Papasa si Rory," Jax said. "Di lang siya nakapagreview ngayon pero nag-aral nang maayos 'yun for 4 years."
I silently agreed. As much as my eyes and ears suffered from Yago and Rory's unwanted PDA, I couldn't deny that those two did review when needed. Nakaka-sagot naman sila nang maayos sa mga recit namin. Even Yago... God, I hated how he's so confident whenever he's reciting. Like even he believed that lies he's sprouting. I wanted to learn how to bluff like he does.
Pagdating namin sa bahay nila Rory, gusto ko agad lumabas dahil umiyak lang si Rory nang makita 'yung tatay niya. I wasn't built for that kind of scenario. I felt like my chest was tightening at the sight so I decided to go out and walk.
I brought my phone with me so Jax could reach me kung aalis na kami. It was my first time in Pangasinan. Hindi kami umaalis sa Manila para magbakasyon. It's just school and home. Tagaytay was my first out of town and it was with Iñigo.
Ang dami ko palang first kay Iñigo.
I was walking around when suddenly, I saw a familiar face. Sandali akong huminto para titigan iyong maliit na tarpaulin na may mukha ng matandang babae. Umawang ang labi ko nang maalala ko kung bakit pamilyar sa akin 'yung babae.
Curiosity got the best of me and I walked closer. I wanted to ask what happened, but I couldn't understand the people around me dahil iba ang salita nila. I knew I shouldn't ask, but I had a feeling that this had something to do with Iñigo...
"Hi..." I said to someone. "Pwede ko po bang tanungin kung paano siya namatay?"
The old lady looked at the tarp once again before making a sign of the cross. "Pagpalain nawa 'yang si Cecil... Kamamatay lang ng tatay at heto, sumunod naman ang nanay..." she said. I remained looking at her. "Nako, hija, iyong tatay e namatay sa aksidente daw sa pinagta-trabahuhan tapos e inareglo nung kumpanya. Huli na nung nalaman nung nanay na mas malaki sana pala ang makukuha nila dapat kaya lang e naka-pirma na. Ayan at namatay sa sama ng loob dahil maraming anak na pag-aaralin pa sana kaya kailangan ng pera," she continued and did another sign of the cross.
I stood there, unsure of what I'd do with the information I just got. Ilang minuto akong parang tanga na naka-tayo doon, hindi alam ang gagawin. It took Jax calling me for me to finally move my feet.
Absentmindedly, I walked back to Jax's car. I was silent on the whole way back to Manila. Iñigo told me that that was his job... To do out of court settlement. To fix problems of the company before it could blow up into a lawsuit. It was his job... In school, it was just a concept we study... A topic for recitation and coverage for examination.
Pero iba pala kapag nakita mo sa totoong buhay.
How words could literally destroy people's lives.
"Are you okay?" Jax asked.
"Not really," I replied, a bit surprised that I wasn't okay.
I knew that Iñigo wasn't the most honest guy out there and I made my peace with that... Kung ginagamit niya man iyong kodigo o hindi, if he's taking shortcuts or not, that was on him...
But this?
It's another flaw I had to ignore.
"Want to talk about it?"
Hindi ako sumagot agad. Naka-tingin lang ako sa kalsada sa harapan ko. I wasn't idealistic... but this was making me uncomfortable.
"No," I said. Jax's probably my closest friend... but it would feel like betrayal kung pag-uusapan namin si Iñigo. Besides, hindi naman si Iñigo ang pumatay 'dun sa babae... Maybe partly the reason why...
Pagbalik namin sa Manila, dumiretso na ako ng tulog dahil napagod din ako sa byahe. The next day was rather boring. I was actually excited to get back to work because I realized that downtime wasn't my strongest suit. Hindi ako sanay na walang ginagawa. I'd go crazy thinking of what to do.
"Good morning, Cha," Lov greeted.
"Morning," I greeted back.
"Ikaw lang kilala ko na relieved na makakita ng ga-bundok na papel sa lamesa niya," she said, laughing. I merely shrugged. Mabilis akong naupo at sinimulan ang pagbabasa ng drafts ng mga contract.
I was in the zone when Lov spoke. Napa-tingin ako sa kanya.
"Friends kayo ni Iñigo, 'di ba?" she asked. Napa-tingin ako sa kung saan siya naka-tingin. Nasa dulo ng floor si Iñigo kausap si Atty. Buenasher pati na iyong ibang senior lawyers sa department.
"I think so," I replied. Hindi ko sigurado kung friends kami. Wala namang friends na pinaghuhubad ng panty. Napa-iling na naman ako dahil naalala ko 'yun. I should've punched him when he said that.
"Inofferan daw 'yan ng rival company ng position kahit graduating pa lang," she said. I merely nodded. Iñigo mentioned job offers. 'Di naman ako nagulat dahil alam kong magaling siya. It's obvious. He's wise beyond his age.
"Good for him," I answered. If anyone deserves that, it's Iñigo. He's had a rough life.
"Pero syempre 'di pumayag sila Atty. B," she continued. "Nagcounter-offer. Balita 6 digits salary daw plus condo and car basta dito pa rin siya and dapat magplace siya sa BAR."
I nodded again. It was expected.
"Sabagay... Ang laki din ng nase-save ni Iñigo dito sa company, e. Bata 'yan ni Atty. B kaya sinasama lagi kapag may inaayos na problema."
My lips formed into a thin line.
I wasn't the most idealistic person... but a problem? Those are people and not mere problems.
Thankfully, my phone vibrated kaya naman ginawa ko 'yung excuse para tumayo. I didn't feel comfortable talking with Lov anymore. Dumiretso ako sa pantry para magtimpla ng kape tapos dumiretso sa rooftop.
"Di ka sumasagot?"
"May iniisip ako," sagot ko nang marinig ko ang boses ni Iñigo sa likuran ko. I felt him standing behind me and felt him snaking his arms around my waist. Ipinatong niya ang baba niya sa balikat ko at hinalikan iyong leeg ko.
"Dinner tayo later?" he asked.
"Tapos na trabaho mo?"
"Hindi pa pero bukas na ulit."
"Tapos ka ng mag-enroll?"
"Yeah... Ayaw mo akong samahan, e," he said, tightening his hold around my waist. "Ang tahimik mo."
"Kailan ako naging maingay?"
Tumawa siya. "Sungit naman nito," he said, planting a kiss on my cheek. "Gusto mo takeout na lang tayo tapos sa condo mo tayo magdinner?"
I stood there and let myself feel his touch. I hated overthinking. It wasn't as if Iñigo's a criminal. He said it so himself... He's not a saint, but wasn't exactly a bad person.
He's just a normal person.
And who am I to judge?
"Okay," I replied.
"Sa weekend talaga if free ka... Tagaytay?"
"Hindi ko pa alam," I replied.
"Sa next weekend?"
"Hindi ko pa rin alam."
"Kailan ka free?"
I shrugged. "Bakit ba?"
Hindi siya nagsalita. He just stood there, his arms around me stayed. I felt as though he was relaxing while he was hugging me. Naka-tingin lang ako sa mga building sa harapan ko.
"Tapos na 'yung BAR," he said.
"I know. I took the exam."
He clicked his tongue. "Pilosopo naman," sabi niya. "Wala ng BAR buddy," he continued.
"We're more like fuck buddies than BAR buddies."
His arms around me loosened. I remained on my spot. But I gave in and turned around and looked at him.
"What?"
"Para namang katawan ko lang habol mo, Cha?"
"Are you serious?" I asked incredulously.
"Ano? Puro sex lang?"
"Bakit? 'Di ka ba nag-enjoy?"
His jaw tightened. "Si Cha ang gusto kong kausap hindi si Queen Elsa," sabi niya pero hindi ako sumagot. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at me like I was his biggest problem. "Pwede bang mag-usap tayo nang maayos? Hindi 'yung pilosopo ka."
I nodded. "Okay... Ano ba tayo?"
"Hindi ko alam," sagot niya.
"We're not friends... not exactly a couple," I replied, shuddering at the last word. "Just in between."
He looked at me. "What if I want more than in between?"
I looked at him. "Can I think about that?" I answered after a few seconds of pure silence and the only the sound of the wind between us. Bigla siyang nagpakawala ng malalim na hininga.
"Of course," he replied, relieved.
"Thank you," I said.
Tumingin siya sa akin. I noticed how beautiful his eyes were... And how cold they could look when he wanted them to.
"For the record, I liked you the first time I saw you," he said.
"Right."
"Totoo."
"Kaya nga hindi mo natandaan iyong pangalan ko."
"Tanda ko naman 'yung mukha mo!" he defended. "Lagi kitang nakikitang nagrereview. 'Di lang kita malapitan kasi parang lagi kang ready makipag-away."
"Salamat dahil nilapitan mo ako," I sarcastically replied.
He closed the gap between us and held me in his arms again. "Kahit gaano mo ako sungitan, ewan ko ba bakit 'di ako nadadala," he said, resting his chin on my head. "Reverse psychology ata 'to."
I rolled my eyes. "Kasalanan ko pa?"
He laughed. "Hindi naman po," sagot niya. "Pero Tagaytay nga?" he asked and I acted like I was thinking but then his phone vibrated and it showed that he was needed for something. He quickly kissed my cheek and said, "Trabaho lang muna ako para may pangdate tayo."
I rolled my eyes again. "Aalis ulit kayo?"
He nodded. "Yeah. May aayusin na problema lang."
I pursed my lips. "Okay."
He smiled and held my chin and kissed my lips. "See you when I get back, okay? Don't miss me too much," he said, laughing as he walked away and I stood there watching his retreating back.