I was thirteen again, sitting at a table in awkward silence while being intimidatingly stared at. Jayden and Kennedy had a long conversation with looks only while they nodded their heads at each other in silence. They were so incredibly different from each other. Look and personality-wise. Jayden was outgoing and bold, loud, optimistic and charming. Kennedy was reserved and quiet, a bit shy, awkward and something of a realist. I guess I was the pessimist between the three of us. The smooth talker, the maladroit and the fractious one. What an amazing team. I groaned.
"I can't read minds!" I snapped at them. "Use your fucking words!"
The focus in their eyes shifted from my face to my eyes and I shivered as I looked between them. Jayden's glowing greys and Kennedy's woodsy browns. The goosebumps climbed my body.
"Well... we were thinking..." Jayden mumbled, smirking. Fucking bastard. "It's obvious that both Kennedy and I have feelings for you..."
My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. This could not be happening. I wouldn't allow it.
"So we were thinking that maybe... if you're okay with it... we could try dating... you know... the three of us..."
I bit my lip. "And what makes you think I have feelings for either one of you?"
Both of them looked a bit taken back, obviously worried about what I said. I watched their plans fall apart in their eyes. Their eyes were like windows to their souls. I could see every emotion flash behind their irises no matter how hard they tried to hide them. It was pitiful and I enjoyed every second.
"Well, this is new..." Jayden chuckled. "I've never been rejected before..."
"Can't relate..." Kennedy grumbled.
I took a sip of my hot chocolate to cover my face with the cup for a few seconds. I didn't feel like looking Kennedy in the eye since I knew that he'd be looking back. It was quite embarrassing.
"Micah, how about that threesome?" Jayden said with far too much confidence. I choked on my chocolate, spitting it back into the cup as I coughed and tried to breathe.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I growled. Maybe it was just me imagining things or maybe everyone in the cafe had turned to look at us. I hid my face in my palms and groaned. "You're such a fucking ass..."
"Nah I'm more into fucking ass..." My leg acted on its own when it swung under the table, slamming into Jayden's shin "I'm sorry!" He groaned.
"You're buying me more chocolate." I snapped at him. "You made me spit in mine..."
"No, I didn't!" He protested as he rubbed his leg. "You spit in your own chocolate!"
"You put a fucking baby in me. Go get the fucking chocolate."
"Okay..." Jayden whimpered in submission.
"And a scone!"
"Yes, boss..." he mumbled.
I rubbed my itchy nose and pulled my legs up to my chest, not caring that it was ill-mannered of me since we were in a cafe. My bump was still in the way but that would not stop me from sulking in a balled-up pile or grump. Kennedy looked back and forth between me and Jayden, he looked confused.
"I'm naming this baby Smith if it's a boy..." I grumbled out of the blue.
"That's a surname..."
"So is 'Kennedy' you fucking hypocrite..." I growled and he gave me an apologetic look. Today wasn't a good day. Everything annoyed me. I put my legs back on the floor and leaned back, stretching out my back.
"You're right... It sounds kinda badass. It's a cool name..." He smiled at me. My stomach fluttered and I felt my heartwarming.
"Here you go!" Jayden beamed at me, smiling like an idiot.
"What?" I grumbled as I took a bite of the warm scone.
"You're doing it again..." He said and sat down next to me, too close. I let out a faint growl.
"Doing what?" I grumbled.
"Rubbing your stomach..." he mumbled absentmindedly and put a hand on my belly. I shivered as my stomach fluttered again. "Smith..." He mumbled. My stomach didn't stop fluttering and I sat as still as possible while the butterflies roamed within me, tickling me and giving me goosebumps.
"C-could I touch it too?" Kennedy shyly asked.
"No. Both of you, shoo..." I waved Jayden away with a glare. "Baby in the making, don't disturb..." A smile made its way onto my lips. Wiggler.
⚥ ⚥ ⚥
The rain didn't show any sign of going away as I sat by my window, gazing up at the grey sky. I was sleepy. The apartment was quiet and lonely as I was the only one at home. Corey had left, Brian was working and I sat in the window, watching raindrops trail down the outside of the glass. Should I get a crib? Would I still live here when my baby was born? When should I get baby clothes? Did I wanna know the gender first? Did I even want to know the gender? Yes. Yes, I did. Very much so. I needed a girl name just in case.
"Clementine?" I asked and looked down at my belly. Nothing. "Emma? Harley? Penny? Nya?" Nothing. "You're a dude aren't you?" My stomach fluttered. It was probably just a coincidence but I didn't care. That was my answer. I was having a son. No doubt. "I hope you get Jayden's eyes... they're so pretty... I hope you look a lot like him... you're probably gonna have lighter skin than him though since I'm caucasian... I don't think you realise how cute you're gonna be... like... I'd like to say that I'm quite gorgeous and Jayden's beautiful so you're gonna be banging, kid... you'll probably have curly black hair like Jayden and hopefully his eyes... I'm not very tall so hopefully, you'll take your height from your dad... but dude you better have my face... I'm fucking cute, bro... but maybe you'll get my grumpy side and if you do, I'm sorry... it runs in the family..." I put my hands on my stomach and sighed. "Hopefully your body won't be all messed up like mine... I don't want you to go through what I did... and periods are so fucking horrible... gosh it's like having pregnancy symptoms without getting the baby so it's just fucking suffering..."
I snuggled down in my bed and covered myself in blankets. I could sleep all day if I had the time. It was strange to sleep peacefully. I had grown accustomed to never really resting because I just couldn't and now it was all I could and wanted to do. It was unfair but wonderful and awful at the same time. I went from having insomnia to narcolepsy. Not a good change, very strange.
My thoughts drifted to Corey and his dad. I wondered how he was holding up. Honestly, I was worried. That kid needed comfort and he wasn't getting it at home. Furthermore, I was worried about his physical and mental health. Were these some kind of parental instincts kicking in or was I just more empathetic than I thought I was? Maybe it was hormones.
Kids who are different get picked on in school, I knew that from the first-hand experience. That's just how life worked. Unfair, cruel and full of unpleasant surprises. You can't control it and if you think you can you're just fooling yourself and building up a false wall of confidence and comfort. You have to be ready for the curveballs that life throws you cause when you think that you've got everything under control, that's when they get you. One day you'll be walking down the street when BAM, anxiety, doubt, depression, insecurities, everything bad just comes washing over you, triggered by a single action. Life is like dominoes. One thing triggers another until it all falls apart, your job is to stop it before it destroys too much. Before too much falls apart. Time made you and time will reclaim you. Just like a loan shark, chasing you until you don't have any more to give or anywhere else to go. I felt myself dozing off as I laid comfortably on my bed. My eyelids were heavy.
⚥ ⚥ ⚥
My eyelashes brushed the skin between my eye and brow as I opened my eyes. The room was dark. I reached for my phone.
'I'm staying at a friend's house for the night, call me if you want me to come home. There's food in the fridge if you don't feel like cooking.' Was the first thing I was met with.
"Damn it, Brian..." I mumbled. The clock was closing in on 8 p.m. and my stomach was growling. Ever since my childhood I always hated being alone. I just didn't like not having someone around me. I needed the presence of another being.
The floorboards were annoyingly cold as I stood up on my bare feet. My sweatpants were loose around my ankles and flopped around my legs as I walked.
Just like Brian texted me, there was food in the fridge, but nothing that I wanted. My stomach growled loudly. I hated how quiet it was in the apartment but stomach growls weren't exactly a soothing sound.
"Damn it..." I scoffed and pulled my phone out of my pocket. "I'm such a fucking idiot..." I growled at myself as I pressed the call button.
Jayden picked up almost instantly. "What's wrong?" He immediately asked.
"Could you... Uh... could you come over..?" I murmured. "Brian is at a friend's house and I don't wanna be alone..."
"On my way." He shuffled around and I heard his keys.
"Could you... Uh... could you bring Kennedy too?"
"Sure thing."
"And dumplings..."
"Will do."
"Thank you..."
"Anytime."
The call ended and I stood quietly in the kitchen. "Your dad is very talkative over the phone, huh?" I said and rubbed my stomach. "Why do I keep talking to you like this? It's not like you'll answer... whatever... you're gonna have to deal with it until you move out..."
I stripped from my clothes and stepped in under the hot water. I rubbed the soap over my skin, massaged the shampoo into my hair and washed every inch of my body. My small baby bump felt odd to touch. It was firm but still softish and I didn't know how I felt about that. It was hard to believe that there was a baby in there, wiggling its tiny arms and legs. The weirdest part was that I couldn't feel that it was wiggling around.
Yet again, I stepped onto the cold floor, my bare feet getting colder with every step. I just wanted to snuggle up with a fluffy blanket and munch on dumplings. I snuck into my room, gloriously naked, and pulled on some sweatpants just in time for the doorbell to ring. Dumplings. I could already taste them as I ran excitedly to the door and swung it open. It was around 8:20 p.m. and my hunger was peaking.
"You got here so fast!" I exclaimed as I stood by the door.
"You look like a hungry gremlin..." Jayden snickered as he scanned my clothes and posture. I was slightly crouched over, standing with my legs spread wide and my arms stretched out to my sides. I glared at him and Kennedy started laughing. It probably didn't help that I wasn't wearing a shirt either and my baby bump looked like a beer gut, further making me look like the small 1984 cinematic creature he compared me to.
"Why are your nipples hard?" Kennedy asked.
I felt my face heating up and I threw my arms over my exposed chest. "Why were you looking?!" I shrieked.
"Cause you're shirtless!"
"I just got out of the shower!" I threw my arms down as my fists balled up. "And it's cold!"
"I'll warm you up..." Jayden smirked at me as he walked inside, taking the opportunity to pinch my nipple as he strode past me. A whimper slipped past my lips no matter how hard I tried to keep it in. I blushed intensely in embarrassment before I threw my hands over my face. "That's new..." Jayden snickered. "You getting sensitive?"
"Fuck you..." I growled. "I should've called someone else..."
"But you called me..."
Kennedy's face was redder than a tomato as I turned to him. His hungry eyes trailed my body. He'd never done that before.
"Damn... You do look different without clothes on..." he mumbled absentmindedly.
"The fuck do you mean by that?!" I bit back with a low growl. Kennedy jumped back slightly but quickly snuck into the apartment when I threatened to close the door in his face.
"You just look kinda skinny when you wear those big clothes but you're actually like... toned..."
"And who said I wasn't?!"
"No one!" He whimpered. "I just didn't think you'd look so good is all..."
I wanted to be mad at him but instead found myself blushing and nervously fidgeting with the strings on my sweatpants as I glared at him.
"Are you gonna stand there all night?" Jayden mumbled. A wonderful scent crept up on me and I turned excitedly.
"Food..." I whispered. Before long, I was desperately reaching for the large plate of dumplings that Jayden was holding above his head with a grin. "Cut it out!" I whined.
"What do we say?" He snickered.
"'Fuck you, give me the food'!" I growled.
"Nope, not the words I was looking for..." he teased.
"Your child is hungry..." I growled and pointed to my bare stomach. Jayden squinted his eyes.
He flinched, the smirk on his face fading to a pout. "That's against the rules..." he grumbled and handed me the plate.
With a dumpling stuffed in my mouth, I glared at him. "I am the rules..." I growled before aggressively chewing the dumpling while staring into Jayden's eyes. He was obviously trying to keep himself from wheezing but if he as much as giggled he'd get a punch to the gut.
When he quickly glanced down again and smirked I had no choice but to aim and punch. Sadly, he caught my fist and smirked at me. "What's so fucking funny?!" I yelled with my mouth full of food. It came out more like a muffle than words though and I blushed as he smiled.
"Your bump is really cute..." he mumbled.
"Shut up..." I mumbled. "I hate both of you..." I turned to Kennedy who was leaning on the wall.
"Fine, we'll leave then!" Jayden said, grabbing his jacket off the chair.
"No!" I whined. "Stay... I..." My heart ached as I tried to speak. Having to tear my walls down was probably the hardest thing ever. Never in my life had I admitted that I feared being alone. I did say that I didn't want to be alone over the phone but it was different to say it in person. Kennedy grabbed the plate of dumplings from my hand as they started slipping. It was embarrassing. Goosebumps crawled over my bare torso and I nervously placed my hands on my small baby bump. "I don't like being alone... it makes me anxious..." I mumbled.
The atmosphere in the room lost its tension as I looked down at my stomach, carefully stroking the skin.
"You know..." Jayden began. He walked over to Kennedy and tugged at his sleeve, pulling him toward me. He placed their hands on my stomach together with mine, all three of us. I shivered. "You don't have to be alone... you called us over for a reason, right?"
I didn't say anything. I was too busy enjoying the warm hands on my bare skin. My heart was beating fast. My stomach was full of butterflies.
"You want us around? The two of us?" Kennedy shyly mumbled.
"Micah? Do you wanna give us a go? All three of us?" Jayden said as he stroke his hands around my waist. "You know... not just as friends..."
I snapped out of my happy little fantasy within a second as I realised what was happening and jumped out of their arms. "Let's eat!" I stuttered frantically before sprinting into my room to get a shirt.
My heart was beating all the way up in my throat. I zoned out for a moment back there. With a hand on my chest, I felt my racing heartbeat, thumping behind my rib cage. What did they think they were doing? Trying to seduce me? They'd have to try harder. Why was I feeling so flustered? I hated it. It was annoying. They were annoying. Both of them.
"We're in trouble..." I groaned and looked down at my stomach. After all these years of being cold and unbothered, this was how I'd go down? Two annoying guys and a baby? No way. I never fall in love. Ever. That's just how it was. "This is your fault isn't it?" I glared at my belly and sighed. "Answer me!" After another few seconds of silence, I gave up. "You already act like Jayden..." I muttered before pulling a sweater over my head. "Goddammit, Smith..." I growled before walking back into the living room.
Jayden and Kennedy were seated on the couch with a pile of dumplings in front of them. I squeezed myself down in between them as they debated over what to watch on the tv.
"Were you talking to yourself?" Jayden snickered and nudged my shoulder.
"No!" I snapped at him. He laughed, Kennedy laughed, I sulked, squeezed between them like a squid squeezed through tight spaces.
Arms fell around me and I was wrapped in a cuddly position. Both of them were embracing me.
"Don't touch me..." I growled lowly, ending up sounding like a grumpy child instead of the threatening tone I'd been hoping for.
"Too late..." Jayden snickered.
"Have you guys seen 'Sweet William'?" Kennedy asked.
"No..." I grumbled. He too had his arm around me. I felt like a baby. The movie started rolling and I shoved a fluffy dumpling into my mouth. "Jayden stop touching my butt..." I growled as he snuck his hand in underneath me.
"Okay..." he mumbled.