#CTG18 Chapter 18
It was the longest cry of my life. I cried for what felt like hours. Iñigo quietly sat beside me as I silently cried. I felt tired... so tired. I felt like I was crying for all the times I didn't let myself cry because I needed to be strong.
But now?
I just... didn't care anymore.
"Sorry about my Dad," I said.
"Okay lang 'yun."
"No, it wasn't okay," I replied.
It's never okay to be rude to anyone—let alone someone whom you'd never met and you didn't even know.
"Okay lang talaga..." sabi niya. "He probably got the wrong idea. Syempre babae ka tapos 'di ka umuwi kagabi tapos nakita pa niyang magkasama tayo. His reaction—though admittedly wasn't very nice—was understandable."
I remained silent. I didn't want to talk ill about my Dad. I just wanted to apologize for how he behaved, that's all. It's our family's problem—I'd never talk shit about him with anyone.
I was told never to air your dirty laundry in public... because more often than not, people don't really care... They're just curious.
"You want me to talk to him?" Mahina akong natawa. "What? Magalang naman ako kausap. At saka marami na kong naka-usap na mas nakaka-takot sa Papa mo, noh."
"Don't bother," I said.
By now, I was pretty sure that he's already setting up my wedding with someone else. Seeing Iñigo probably just sped things up. He probably thought that his only daughter spent the night with someone whom he didn't approve.
That must've made him seethe with anger.
"You sure?" he asked again.
I nodded. "Affirmative. And again, I'm sorry for how he acted."
He nodded, too, and another stretch of silence filled the air. Unti-unting dumadating iyong mga college students. We watched them walk around the school. They looked so... happy. I'd say that I was like them when I was in college, but that would be a lie. Every time I'd think about my college life, all I could remember was the pressure I felt to be the class valedictorian. I studied day in and day out just to graduate top of the class.
Kaya rin siguro laging tinatanong ni Dad sa akin sina Jax at Yago... because all my life, I was number 1... But then these two came in and suddenly, his daughter's not the best anymore.
But I was happy.
I wasn't number 1 but I got friends... And honestly? I'd take friends any day. Hindi ko naman pwedeng kausapin iyong grades ko. Hindi naman ako inaayang magsamgyupsal ng grades ko.
"San ka pupunta?" tanong ko nang tumayo siya.
He looked at me—his face was serious. He never asked me why I was crying. He just quietly stayed beside me and listened to me cry. I appreciated that. I appreciated that so much.
"Bukas na kasi 'yung caf... Bibili sana kita ng tubig," he replied.
My lips parted. Why did I even ask? It wasn't as if he had any responsibility of staying by my side... Ni hindi nga dapat niya ako sinamahan kagabi nang ayain ko siyang pumunta sa Tagaytay. A lot happened since last night—things that shouldn't even have happened. I wanted to think that I was a bother to him but he never let me think that I was.
"Wag na," sagot ko sa kanya. I stood up and grabbed my bag.
"San ka pupunta?" he asked.
"Somewhere."
"Saan?"
I couldn't answer because I didn't have a concrete plan yet... Hindi ko pwedeng puntahan iyong mga kapatid ko dahil sigurado ako na magkaka-gulo lang lalo. Ako lang iyong nag-iisang babae nilang kapatid... I was sure that they'd all get mad kapag nalaman nila na umalis ako ng bahay dahil kay Dad.
Si Chase na lang 'yung natitira sa bahay... I was mad at Dad, but I didn't want him alone. I didn't hate him.
"Kila Rory?" he asked.
"I'll just check-in for today... I'll look for some place this weekend," sagot ko sa kanya.
Hindi ko kayang maki-tira sa mga kaibigan ko. Nahihiya ako. Ayoko ng pakiramdam na pabigat ako... Kaya hanggang kaya ko, sasarilinin ko lang 'yung problema. Doon ako nasanay. Nasanay ako ng walang tumutulong sa akin—na lahat ng meron ako, pinaghirapan ko.
"Mahal hotel," he said.
"Just for a few days," I replied.
I wasn't broke... May ipon ako. Bata pa lang ako alam ko na dadating ako sa ganitong punto. Alam ko na dadating iyong panahon na hindi ko na kakayanin at lalayas din ako. I had contingency plans.
I couldn't work this year... Masyadong maraming ginagawa ngayong 4thyear kaya sigurado ako na hindi ko kayang magtrabaho. I'd start working after graduation. Kaya ko namang suportahan iyong sarili ko ngayong taon. Libre naman iyong tuition ko. Kaya ko 'to.
"Okay..." he said. "San ka ba? And kailan ka maghahanap ng lilipatan mo? Samahan kita, gusto mo?"
"Baka busy ka."
Kumunot ang noo niya. "Cha," he said. "Alam ko mahirap sa 'yong humingi ng tulong... Pero sana 'wag kang mahiya sa 'kin. Kung kailangan mo ng tulong, isang text o tawag lang, promise."
I pursed my lips. Damn him.
"I won't even ask why," he continued. "Just text me that you need me, I'd be there right away."
I looked at him and saw that he was serious... That if ever I needed him, he's just one text away. And I couldn't understand it. I couldn't understand why he was like this... I knew I wasn't the easiest person to be with. I was frank. I had no patience. I say what I think. I was cold—kaya nga tinatawag niya akong Queen Elsa...
So, why was he being so nice?
"Bakit?" tanong ko.
He smiled as he stared directly into my eyes. "Because that's what friends are for, right?"
"Right," I replied as I began to walk. Naka-sunod sa akin si Iñigo. I didn't even know where I was headed. Nilabas ko muna iyong phone ko at huminto sandali. I looked for Airbnb listings and chose one that I could immediately go to.
"Ano bang gusto mo? Condo or apartment?" he began to ask. "And magkano budget?"
"Di ko pa alam."
"Okay... Text mo ko kapag alam mo na para makapagtanong na ko para may pupuntahan na agad tayo sa Saturday? Or Sunday?" he continued to ask.
I just nodded. I was really just so tired.
I told Iñigo that I could handle going to the condo I rented for three days. Malapit lang naman sa school and na-send na sa akin iyong instruction kung paano ako makaka-pasok. I just wanted to sleep right now and just worry about the other things later.
"Samahan na kita," he insisted.
"Malapit na lang naman," sagot ko.
"Okay lang," he said, smiling. "Paano pala books mo?"
I closed my eyes and sighed. Shit. Pano kaya 'yun? I should really text Chase kung pwede na magkita kami tapos bigay niya sa 'kin 'yung libro at reviewers ko... And my laptop.
"Ano ba'ng subject mo mamaya? May reviewer naman ako. Pahiram ko muna sa 'yo."
I looked at him.
I needed help.
"Pwede?" tanong ko habang seryosong naka-tingin sa kanya. I really needed the reviewer... May PolRev mamaya... Iyong Legal Medicine kahit sa phone ko muna babasahin 'yung reviewer.
He briefly laughed. "Oo nga," he replied. "Kaya hahatid na kita tapos daan ko na lang sa 'yo mamaya—"
"No, samahan na lang kita sa 'yo tapos kunin ko na. Grab na lang ako papunta sa condo," I said, cutting him off. I couldn't bother him any more. Sobrang nakaka-hiya na. Napa-Tagaytay at presinto na siya dahil sa akin. Ang bastos pa ni Dad sa kanya kagabi. I couldn't inconvenience him any longer.
"Malayo—"
"Don't argue. Please."
He sighed. "Fine. Pero taxi na tayo. And ako na magbabayad," sabi niya. Magsasalita pa sana ako kaya lang sabi niya, "Don't argue."
I rolled my eyes. He grinned.
We only rode in the taxi for a few minutes. Malapit lang pala talaga sa school iyong apartment niya. Medyo malapit din sa work niya. We stopped in front of his apartment. It was small, but it looked okay. I looked around and it seemed safe.
"D'yan ka muna," he said.
"Okay," sagot ko.
"Maglilinis lang ako. One minute," he replied before sprinting inside, leaving me outside his doorstep. Madumi ba siya? Bakit kailangan pang maglinis? Sabagay... Hindi naman porke malinis sa katawan, malinis na rin sa gamit. Like Chester—sobrang linis nun sa katawan pero tamad maglinis ng kwarto. Paano kaya nakaka-survive 'yun sa quarters nila? Baka ilang beses na siyang nireklamo.
True to Iñigo's word, after a minute, lumabas na siya. I could see droplets of sweat on his forehead. Nagpalit din pala siya ng damit. He's now wearing a white shirt that fitted him like a second skin.
"Pasok ka na," he said.
"Di na. Pahiram na lang nung sa consti," I said.
"Sure ka?" he asked. "Malinis naman dito. Medyo maliit pero mag-isa lang naman kasi ako."
Kumunot ang noo ko. "Maybe some other time," I replied. "Baka kasi pagod ka na. And I want to rest already," I said. I kept on stifling my yawn. Gusto ko nang mahiga sa kama. Gusto ko nang maligo. I was so tired. This had been a long day.
He nodded. "Okay... Sure ka na ayaw mong magpasama sa condo?"
Tumango ako. I held his books. "Yeah," I said. I pursed my lips for a while and let myself look at him. He'd been awake for more than a day already. Kung saan-saan na kami naka-rating... but for some reason, he still looked good.
He had always looked good—there's no denying that. Kaya nga maraming med student ang nabaliw sa kanya. And that grin...
But we're just friends.
He said it himself.
I should know where to put myself. Iñigo has been very nice to me... He'd been there during my lowest... I'd hate to lose him. It was my first time to have someone who'd willingly listen and stay kahit wala kang sinasabi. Iyong hindi magtatanong at tahimik na tatabi lang sa 'yo.
It's hard to find someone like that.
I should act accordingly.
"Thank you," I said. "For today, thank you."
A smile appeared on his face. Sinandal niya iyong gilid ng katawan niya sa pinto. He crossed his arms and his smile grew even bigger. My eyes were starting to roll, but I stopped myself.
"You're welcome, Miss Viste," he said.
"Okay. Bye," sabi ko sabay talikod. Habang naglalakad ako ay narinig ko ang mahinang tawa ni Iñigo. Niyakap ko iyong dalawa niyang libro. Napa-ngiti ako nang makita ko iyong pangalan niyang naka-engrave.
Iñigo Borromeo
Maybe someday he'd like me.
Someday.
Not now. I got lots of problem I needed to face alone. I'd give him nothing—all I'd do is take from him. Wala pa akong maipagmamalaki. I'm just still a student. I'm still struggling.
So, maybe someday.
Now, I have to focus on being a lawyer... so that he could call me Atty. Viste.