The signals came through slowly. Every beeping sound was just as boring.
"Hello?" My mother answered on the other end.
"Hey mom, it's me..." I said as cheerfully as possible.
"Micah!" She exclaimed. "How are you doing, sweetheart?"
"I'm... fine?" The words came out as a question and I facepalmed. Before my mom could comment on my pathetic response I decided to just go straight to the topic. "Hey, do you think you and dad could come down to the campus?" I asked.
"Oh? Uh... sure. Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, I just have to tell you something and I'd rather do it in person than over the phone..."
"Alright..." My mom mumbled. "Let's see... We could be there in about two hours if we left now... But Sean's is in the shower so I think we can leave for another thirty minutes... do you want us to come to the apartment?"
"I'd rather meet at a cafe..." I said and tried to swallow down the knot in my throat. If I told them in the apartment and they reacted badly, I would have nowhere to run to. A cafe would be better since I would be able to leave at any time.
"We'll be there in three hours, okay?"
"See you then... bye, love you..."
"Love you too, sweetheart!" My mom said and I could hear it in her voice that she was smiling before the call ended.
My parents were far too kind. Even if they lived far away they'd still drive down to the college just because I wanted to talk. I needed to get a car so I could visit them more often but I couldn't afford it. I turned in the bed and nuzzled my pillows. It was 9 am and despite the two-hour nap I had just taken, I was still tired. Setting an alarm for two hours and thirty minutes, I pulled my blankets up to my chin and got comfortable on the bed again. Brian had been right about resting, I really needed it. I had never been this sleepy before.
⚥ ⚥ ⚥
I slowly sipped my hot chocolate. I had gotten to the cafe too early. I knew that they knew what cafe I meant when I spoke of it on the phone. We always went to the same cafe when they came to visit. Mostly because it was the cosiest and cutest. It was a garden-themed cafe with lots of plants inside, it always smelled of fresh coffee and flowers. The mug of chocolate was comfortably warm in my hands. This cafe had a generous student discount and I had gotten the chocolate for a dollar. While I sipped at the chocolate though, the scent of the coffee was making me nauseous and I focused on the chocolate to avoid having to throw up.
My eyes wandered to a stroller in the other end of the room. A mother was breastfeeding her baby while chatting with another woman. Would I breastfeed? Could I breastfeed? The mother was smiling brightly as her baby suckled and my stomach fluttered as I looked at them. I probably looked like a pervert; eying a mom's breasts but I couldn't help it. The child in her arms had once been a small shrimp, just like the small life inside of me. Would I need to get a stroller or could I just carry my baby in a baby-björn? That would probably strain my back though. A stroller would probably be better. I'd have to get a second hand one though, nothing fancy for obvious economical reasons. Babies don't need strollers for too long anyway.
The cafe's door opened and I shifted my attention to the sound. "Micah!" My mom exclaimed softly and held her arms out. I stood up and walked into her embrace.
"Hi, mom..." I smiled against her neck. "Hey, dad..." after hugging my parents I sat back down as they went over to the desk to order what they wanted. My attention wandered back to the mother and her baby who seemed to have finished its meal because it was sound asleep in its mother's arms. It was so small and fragile. Its head was naked and it was dressed in adorable little Manchester pants and a grey long-sleeved shirt. The baby couldn't have been older than a few weeks. Ten weeks at the most. I wondered what its name was.
My parents sat down around the small table and I smiled at them. My mom had coloured her hair blond again, making her look younger than she was while my dad slowly embraced his ageing body. He was always a calm, accepting man of few words and many opinions. It was something my mom often got annoyed with. My dad held thousands of thoughts inside of him, never spoke his mind and always kept his opinions to himself. My mom was the absolute opposite. She couldn't help but speak her mind and she was always the first to voice her opinion. I suppose I was more like my mother in that sense.
"So what was it you wanted to tell us?" My mom said as she took a sip of her coffee. "Don't tell me you're dropping out of college!" She chuckled. When I didn't laugh with her or change my facial expression her laugh faded. "Micah, please don't tell me you're dropping out of college..."
"No mom..." I groaned. Dropping out wasn't what I was doing, putting it on hold was the term I preferred. I put my cup to my lips and sipped the hot chocolate. As I put the cup down the scent of mom's coffee hit me and I shivered in discomfort as my nausea got worse. I usually liked coffee but just the scent alone was disgusting right now. The words were on my tongue, refusing to come out. I wanted to swear and awkwardly smile at them. Instead, I felt my lip quiver and my eyes watered.
"Micah, what's wrong?" My mom stuttered and grabbed onto my hand. Her touch was my breaking point and I let a loud sob slip before the tears ran down my cheeks like waterfalls.
"Son, talk to us... has something happened?" My dad said.
"I... I..." I couldn't say it. Someone could've put a gun to my head and told me to spit it out and I still wouldn't have said anything. I bet I could've even been offered a million dollars just for saying it and still not been able to get a word out. I sniffled as my mom embraced me, holding my face to her shoulder as I cried. They were probably going over all the millions of bad news I could've been about to say. What they probably didn't expect though, was the truth. They deserved to know just as much as Jayden and telling him had been so easy compared to this.
What if they disowned me? What if they found it repulsive? Would my dad even see me as his son anymore? Maybe the cafe wasn't the best place to meet. I looked at the door through my tears and considered making a run for it.
"We'll always be on your side, remember?" My dad said and smiled at me. "Remember when you came out?"
I would never forget it. I had told them that I was gay the same day as I got my first boyfriend and they had just smiled. They told me that I could do whatever I wanted and that they'd support me. They told me that they'd be on my side, supporting all of my decisions as long as I was happy. Dad said that he'd even hide a body for me if someone was ever homophobic. I knew he meant it as a joke but in a sense, I knew that if it came to it, he'd do it.
"I'm pregnant..." I sniffled. Saying it out loud was so embarrassing. My mom's hug tightened as my sobs became louder. My uncertainty about having a child came back and I was filled with dread and fear. My mind was freaking out, filling me with fear, wanting to end it and move on with my life while my body tensed and trembled at the thought. My frightened mind wanted to get rid of it while I could feel my body trying to protect it, fighting the urge my mind was forcing upon it.
"It's going to be okay, baby..." my mom cooed, placing soothing strokes over my back with one hand while combing my hair with the other.
"We're here for you, alright?" My dad said as he sat down next to me, wrapping his arms around me and mom. "Any decision you make, we'll support you... always..."
"You're our miracle, Micah. You're the most important person in our lives... you can come to us at any time, you know that, right?" My mom slowly pulled me out of her tender hug and I rubbed the tears off my face.
"What do I do?" I sniffled. It felt pathetic to cry in front of my parents, it was something I hadn't done since I was a fifteen. Hopefully, they wouldn't look down on me because of my breakdown.
"What do you want to do?" Mom asked.
"I don't wanna hurt it..." I whimpered. My body relaxed as I spoke, my heart started beating normally. It was strange. I felt the urge to cup my stomach, protect it. "I'm gonna... keep it..."
"Alright..." My dad said and gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. "And school?"
"I'll... I'll wait until it's old enough to go to daycare and then start taking classes again... maybe I could take online classes too..."
"We'll financially support you, okay? We have more than enough saved up..."
"No... that's your money... you worked hard for it. It should be spent on you guys. Go on some luxurious vacation or something..."
"Why go on a vacation when we could hang out with our grandchild?" My dad said and smiled at me.
"Dad..." I sniffled, trying desperately not to cry again.
"You've grown into a fine young man!" He chuckled and pulled me into his arms. "Our little rainbow baby..."
⚥ ⚥ ⚥
It was so strange to suddenly go from never sleeping to sleeping all the time. The exhaustion was consuming me.
"You okay, dude?" Kennedy awkwardly chuckled as he nudged me at the end of the class. I repeatedly smacked my face and tried to shake the sleepiness out of my system.
"I'm fine..." I groaned.
Kennedy nodded with an innocent look on his face. "What're you doing this weekend?" He asked. The people who'd been in the auditorium were quickly moving toward the exit and I hastily picked up my books.
"Working my ass off..." I whined.
"You sure that's a good idea?"
"Why wouldn't it be?" I growled at him. If either Brian or Jayden had been snitching then someone was about to get their knee busted.
"Well, you seem pretty tired lately..." He sighed. "Is your insomnia getting worse?"
"No, I've actually been sleeping a lot lately!" I almost bragged. It was ridiculous how proud I was about sleeping. At the same time, it pissed me off though. My insomnia had granted me the opportunity to have nightly movie marathons and time for video games. Studying or reading while not being able to sleep was harder since focusing was difficult when your body was screaming for sleep. So instead, I studied during the daylight hours when I had a bit more energy and slacked off during nighttime. I had barely done anything other than sleep and eat in the last couple of weeks.
Kennedy and I were about to leave the auditorium when the professor cleared his throat, catching mine and Kennedy's attention.
"Mr Keller? May I have a word? He said.
I glanced at Kennedy and shrugged. "I'll meet you in the parking lot, kay?"
"Sure..."
He closed the auditorium's large doors and I turned to the professor. He was one of the younger, newer professors around the campus and Kennedy and I had only had him since August. He wasn't a complete stranger but I definitely wouldn't say that I knew him. Not that I was uncomfortable around him. I was just not sure how to approach him. Mrs Taraha was motherly, easy to talk to and caring. Professor Mckay seemed cold but really; he was a softie who enjoyed spicy Thai food and hockey. Professor Gibson was grumpy in the morning and energetic in the afternoon. When he was in a good mood he handed out fruit during long classes. But I knew nothing about Professor Purkins; the man standing in front of me.
"Yes?" I said, forcing myself not to yawn too obviously with little success. He didn't seem to find my yawn very amusing because he snorted and sat down on top of the desk behind him. He was quite fit, about Jayden's height and had thin, brown hair. He looked to be balding.
"Do you find me tiring?" He scoffed.
"It's not you..." I stuttered and gently brushed my hand over my stomach while he wasn't looking. "Sorry... I have insomnia..." It was what I always said when people asked why I was tired but it didn't quite describe the current situation.
"That's no excuse to fall asleep in my class... Attendance will be part of your final grade and I do not consider it attendance when my students fall asleep during my lectures..."
"I'm sorry, professor..." I whimpered. Had I been a dog; my tail would've been tucked between my legs. I felt tears spring to my eyes and I let out a frustrated grunt as I rubbed them away.
"I-I'm sorry..." Professor Purkins stuttered. "I didn't mean to upset you..."
"It's not your fault... I'm just emotional right now..."
"Do you have a stomachache?"
I looked up at my teacher to see him blushing intensely. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat, fidgeting nervously. We probably mirrored each other because I could feel my face heating up as I played with the fabric of my shirt. I hadn't been paying attention to what I was doing and shivered as I felt both of my hands by my stomach, stroking and rubbing. "Nope..." I stuttered and gave him a sheepish smile before I scrambled toward the auditorium's exit. "Well! Seeya'!" I yelped and snuck out.
Kennedy sat on a bench, scrolling through his phone when I came out of the building. It was cold and I shivered as I tugged my coat closer to my frame. "Kennedy!" I called out, grabbing his full attention. When I got closer I noticed that he wasn't alone on the bench. As he stood up I noticed Jayden sitting by his side.
"H-hey Micah..." He awkwardly chuckled, stuttering. His face was bright red and he seemed to be holding his breath.
I furrowed my brows at Jayden. "What'd you do?" I growled.