I apologise for the late submission. Life has been doing the things and I've been rolling with the punches.
We've been talking about character-driven narratives and character-based narratives. The entries I've received bring very interesting and unique ideals to this thought, and here are some of the things I've noted:
'Above and Beyond' by StepOfHan
In which the story is based both on character problems and character ideals, we witness Sophie's attempt to live up to a character that doesn't exist outside of others' perfect ideals and Sophie's personal victory towards living up to her own.
I think this is a very interesting take on the contest – a plot and character arc that contrasts between what could be and what should be as an internal conflict for our main character. What makes this an effective exploration of our prompt, I think, is the somewhat literatim interpretation of 'character-driven' stories. That is, it's a character with exceptional drive.
Reading it feels like there are two existing versions of Sophie, the one we follow in Sophie's perspective and the one Sophie tells us about. In film school (particularly for the actors) they taught us the interesting use and distinction of public and personal personas, which I think this story reflects very well. In this, Sophie tries to live up to the expectations that are built on Public Persona Sophie and we see her triumph in her Personal Persona Sophie, even if those lines are blurred.
In essence, this feels like Private Persona Sophie is invading the world and overcoming the obstacles of a story based on Public Persona Sophie. Very clever.
While reading this, there were a few times I thought the language or tone seemed to be inconsistent. Sophie's narration seems exquisitely poetic, but it's interjected with almost fallow words – it feels full of life and poetry, then empty and simple. I don't know if this was intentional, but it was noted.
"I zone out during the beginning of my routine, a nice daydream in between perfection, and awake at the feeling of rushing wind."
The phrase 'zone out' and the words 'nice' and 'feeling' don't seem to fit with the whimsical and poetic description of this event. If you're reading this, @StepOfHan I would suggest you reconsider some of the words you use throughout the story. I really like your story, but it might a bit more impactful if you use slightly more consistent language. Here's my first suggestion as an example.
"My mind wanders during the beginning of my routine, a pleasant daydream in between perfection, and awake at the sensation of rushing wind."
Overall, I am very pleased with your contribution and I think you should be proud. It's not very easy to make me care about characters like Sophie, but you've done it.
'Mystery on Shabbat' by CourageousPrincess18
In media res we meet detective Fatima in a very strange encounter with Agent Meltzer. Similar to what happened above, this story is a recollection of Past Fatima and Present Fatima, but the focus is more on the other characters.
It's threaded in very delicately, but I've noticed that Fatima doesn't function as the crux of the story. The story is about other people in her perspective as she tries to solve a murder, and we follow her journey as she tries to place herself delicately into the existing world.
While I do appreciate that @CourageousPrincess18 tried to keep things short for me, I feel that very detrimental to the overall experience, which is a wonderful thing to learn from:
Don't restrain yourself. It's sometimes very necessary to break the rules in order to produce the honest and noble work that we conjure up in our minds. I'm not particularly interested in mysteries (which luckily isn't the focus of this story), but I would love to have seen more about Fatima's journey and how the other characters place in it.
It's a story with exceptional promise @CourageousPrincess18 and I would honestly like to see more of it. As it is now, however, I don't have much to go on.
'Lives of Lives' by Katherynnicolee
In reference to character selection and the choices we make (and don't make), we live the story of others' lives. Our main character is faced with choices for the life they want to lead, and their story arc is so heavily influenced by the lives of others.
I think this is very intricately designed, and it would take a lot to unpack it.
Above all, this is a story about three other people and the love and pain that they feel. Then, it is a story about what love and pain the main character wants.
And then, I'm very confused, because everything goes wrong and/or right and it's just... an experience.
I do not possess the mental fortitude to engage in this at the moment, but I would honestly recommend everybody give it a read. It'll be well worth it.
'Guardian 901' by
In the other where we find ourselves, we see Guardian 901 find a true friend in the confines of emotionless walls.
Again, like the first, this is a story about the other and the self, a narrative on expectation and realisation. It is an exceptionally well-written philosophical intrigue on self-actualisation and, I think, I'd totally make a film about this.
The story feels lifeless, and reflects the atmosphere of its content. Even choking and recovering seems a mundane and event in the confines of the prison walls, and while the relationship between Guardian and Dave fosters, it grows in that bleak, dull way the world of this narrative is.
My favourite thing is how well it integrates the story of Dave in the life of Guardian, and how Dave is the crux of Guardian's character arc.
This is perfect for the prompt of a character-based story, and I think it deserves praise.
Thank you for sharing, @a6arose .