Petch POV
"If you call me like that, you will make me fall for you" The familiar voice is speaking beside me. It makes me surprise because I never thought he will hear me, nor I think he will wake up at the time like this. Not right now. Yes, of course I am happy because he finally opens his eyes. He finally wakes up from his long dream. But at the same time, I feel regret because of what I have said all this time.
"Hey, Petch" He greets me with his usual charming smile. It is just a glimpse of smile. He still tries to smile even though he is still sick. "Miss me?"
No need to answer his playful question. I know he is just teasing me, like usual. He always does it all the time. Teasing me and flirt me, just like he flirt with others. I know he is just teasing me but all this time, the way he teases me makes something in me grows for him. My feeling for him. I hate myself for disable to stop this feeling.
You know, I guess the feeling for him is so huge. Too much. That's why my body is moving its self. I don't know where is this action of mine is coming from. I hug him. Embrace him. The longing that I have for his presence is too big to I hide it. It is showing in my action.
"I don't know if you are missing me so much like this" He is laughing like there is nothing happens to him. Like he is just waking up from his normal sleep. I hate him. Yes, I really hate him. Very much, I hate it. But I can't really hate him. My heart never lets me to hate him.
"Petch?" He calls my name. There is a worry in his tone. He worries about me. Maybe because he hears me sobbing. "Are you crying? Why are you crying?"
I am crying because of you, stupid. That is the words I said in my mind but I never say it. I am just happy he finally awakes now.
I want to release the hug but he pulls me and hugs me so tight. "Don't!" He says, "Just stay"
You know this is the bad thing for your feeling when someone who makes you confuse your feeling is doing something sweet like this. Showing an affection to you when you try to press your feeling for that person. It is like that person is trying to kill you softly.
"Singha..."
"Call me again"
"Singha"
"Once more"
"Singha"
"Once again... Please..."
"Sing...."
I shouldn't call him by than name. He always reminded me if I call him by that name, he might fall for me. I know he was joking but I ignored him back then. I always teased him by called him that name but then stop when the feeling for him was showed up and grow day by day. And I regretted it when I stop called him by that name. Someone else did that to him and he showed interest on that boy.
"You know, I have told you. If you call me by that name I may fall for you" He is telling me about it again. It is been countless time he says that to me. I know he is joking only but I wish this time he is being serious. But you know what, it is just my wildest dream. Something that never comes true.
"If you are not letting me go this time, I think I never can leave you...ever"
"Don't leave then. Just stay" He says, "I never tell you to leave me"
"Aren't you being mean to me, Sing?"
He doesn't say anything. Just keep hugs me and never let me go. I don't know what is in his mind. I never know how he is thinking. I never understand him.
"Why you never understand me, Petch?" He asks me with a sad voice.
*****
Than POV
He opens the door then walks step by step, get close to me. One meter away, he stops. I am just standing on where I stand, just like before. Can't say anything. Just looking at him who is looking back at me. Not open my mouth until he asks me if there anything I wanna to say again.
I become hesitate at first then that words come out from my mouth. The words that show the longing that I have for him. The words that show how much I miss him. Do I regret for saying those words to him? Nope, but I regret to say it at time like this. I am desperate but I am not desperate enough to beg him to love me back. I just..... I want him to love me like I love him, not because he pities me.
"Anything else?" He asks me like what I said before is nothing for him. The confession that I did is completely ignored. Ah, maybe this is his answer. He rejects me that is why he doesn't say anything about what I said.
"It is okay to be sad, P. But can you think about..." I try to speak again, ignoring my heart that hurts so much, "playing in this match for all of us, can't you?" He is silent and I am become awkward because he is not saying anything.
"You know how hard we've been through to be able to come this far" Again he is silent, "When you were so set on beating P'Sing you weren't playing alone, remember? If one of us is missing, you wouldn't have made it here. We too, P" I try to persuade him.
"We are all so determined. But without you, everyone would be lost. Including me"
"On your birthday, I made a promise to hand you the champion title and you told me not to promise, but to do it" We look at each other eyes, "This is it, P. I am doing it now...for you"
"Are you done?" Finally he opens his mouth after being so quiet for so long. I nod when he asks me that question.
He grabs my hand and pulls me. He forces me to follow him. He takes me to the park nearby. Make me sit on the bench then he lay on. Putting his head on my laps. Sleeping.
"What are you doing, P?"
"Stay still. I am tired" He places his hand to cover his eyes.
"If you that tired, why don't you sleep in your room? Why here?"
"Don't you know if you are quite noisy sometime?" I am stop talking after that. Not bothering him and just let him do what he wanna do.
One minute, two minutes, fifteen minutes, half an hour. I keep counting how long he is been laying on my laps. Too long and my laps starts feel so numb but I don't dare to move.
"Does your lap feel numb?"
"No, it is fine" I lie. Then he pokes it and I feel the electric is going through my laps. Maybe he finds it is funny when I am screaming without sound. He smiles. I don't know what I feel about that. I am angry because he is teasing me but at the same time I am happy because finally he is smiling.
"Have you eaten?" I want to say I did but my belly betrays me. The sound of my belly is too loud to hide it. "You should eat or else you will get sick"
"I won't get sick. Don't worry"
"What do you want to eat?" He ignores me again.
And here we are at the food stall. The food stall is quite crowded. It is almost midnight but people still come to this place to eat. Maybe they are here for midnight snack? But this place doesn't sell snack. They sell foods.
He orders his and I am ordering mine. I order spicy garlic thai shrimp. I like seafood. Nothing can beat seafood and also spicy. I love it. And he ordered something that less spicy. He has such a baby tongue. I look at his food. Not appetizing at all.
"Why? Do you want it?"
"Nah, I can't eat something not spicy. It feels weird"
"So, you are saying I have weird taste?"
"Maybe..." He looks at me. Not blinking at all. Like he is staring at me. I look at the left and right me, there is no one. So, he sure is staring at me.
"Maybe I have weird taste"
"Huh?"
***
The final match will be held tomorrow. Now, we are getting a day off. No training. Basically, everyone should be enjoying their day off but we can't. We couldn't. We are too nervous to do that. Some of my team mates just dozing off. Their mind is somewhere else. Like it is flying away from their body. Me too. I can't stop for over thinking. Not about the final match but about what happened last night.
I can't stop blame myself for what I did last night. I keep sighing and hit myself. Complaining about my own behavior.
"I am so stupid!" I yell of frustration, "Why I am so stupid?!"
"What happen to you?" Pete asks me.
"Why did I do that?" I ask Pete back. I ask him who doesn't know what matter happened to me.
"What did you do?" He confuses.
"What should I do?" And because of this last question I got a hit from him.
"How I suppose to know if you are not telling me what happen to you?"
"I...." Then I tell him about what happened to me and P'Puen last night.
Note
Italic = flash back
Normal = current time
Flash Back
We are walking back to his place. He doesn't say anything when I am following him back to his place. P'Puen just walks beside me. His eyes are fixed on road while I am still trying to steal a glance on him sometime.
"Are you that love sick? Why you keep stole a glace on him?" Pete is interfering between the story I told. I stare at him and tell him not to interfere when I am telling him about what happened to me last night.
We walked without anyone said anything. Silent. But I kinda liked it. You know, just spent time with him is making me happy. How long I've been missing this kind of moment? It is just a short time but I felt like ages. I just....
"Hahahaha...." Pete can't hold his laugh, "I am sorry. I am sorry. I don't want to laugh but.. hahahaha... That is so funny hahaha..." He stops laughing when I move my hand to hit him with a paper in my hand. "Ok. I stop. Sorry" He move his finger on his mouth like he is zipping his mouth.
"Why you not continue?"
"I don't want to"
"Come on. I was sorry" He apologizes, "Let's continue. Come on!" I tell him the rest of the story without him interfere it.
We were in front of his house. It is five meters away from the door. We stood side by side. I wanted him to stay longer but I didn't dare to ask him. It was 02.15 in the morning. I didn't want him not catch any sleep because of me.
"So... this is it" He looked at me and I looked at him when he said that. I felt so awkward at that moment. We were just keep staring at each other for some times before he stepped away, walked heading to the door.
"P'Puen" He turned around and looked at me. He walked closer to me. Maybe he did that so he could hear what the words I wanted say to him. He was waiting but I was nervous to say something to him.
"P... Will you..." I hesitated, "I want you back and play to the final. Can you?"
"It is late, Than. You should go back"
"Can you promise me, P? You will come back"
"Go back, Than"
"But...."
I couldn't finish my words because I have been shut. I have been forced to shut by him. He kissed me and I couldn't react. Just showing a shock through my eyes.
"Goodnight, Than"
He left while I am just standing there. Dumbfounded.
That is the end of story.
"Can I say something now?" I nod as Pete asks that to me, "Yuck! What did I just heard? My ears are got dirty right now! Why I even wanted to listen to your dirty story?!"
I look at him. Disbelief. How come he said like that when he is the worst than I am. He can be the worst and dirtier than me. He is dating P'Nao and you know what, his mind is full of dirtiness.
"You are more worse than me, you know. You and P'Nao are the naughtiest couple in the world!"
"So, what is something that make you so concern and acting like a fool?" He ignores me.
"I ate onion and garlic!"
"So? What is the problem for eating that?"
"He kissed me after I ate onion and garlic. Don't you get that?" I tell him, "I am such an idiot!"
Pete just gives me a look like he is saying 'Really? Just that? And you get big concern just because of that dumb onion and garlic thing?'
***
D-day. Finally, what we have been waiting is coming. The final match. Everyone is ready or maybe not. We are not ready. Their nervousness is showing on their face. We are all nervous.
Looking at the opponent team, we feel so tiny. It is beyond compared between them and us. We are nothing. We are not complete yet. We are missing one piece that can complete us. Our captain.
Coach comes. He gives us courage and some advices. My dad is coming too with P'Top and my little sister. He doesn't say anything but his eyes tell me everything. He wishes me luck. Last one, Pete. He is sweating. Like he is running fast to get here on time.
"I am not late. Thanks god! I still can cheer for you"
"For me or for your P?"
"For you of course. He doesn't need to get a cheer because I know he will do good, while you... Don't mess up!"
"Fuck you!"
He runs to the supporters chair. Sit beside Coach and my family. He wai to the coach then talk to him. Maybe he beg for apologize for his mistake in the past? It was awkward for moment then the talk so smoothly. Well, he is doing good. That spoiled brat is changed to be a good boy now. That is my best friend.
One by one supporters each team fill the chair. It is getting crowded but I still wandering. Looking around, try to find a familiar figure but none. Nothing. I can't find him.
"Than, what are you looking for?" P'Nao taps my shoulder. I don't answer him. No need. I don't want to ruin their mood. I know they still angry with P'Puen.
"He is looking for his man. Am I right?" P'Leng with his sharp mouth. As usual.
"Who is his man?" A familiar voice is heard from behind us. We look at the owner of that voice. We are surprise. I am surprise to see him in here. I bet it is showing on my face and the way I see him. Yes, I am waiting for him but seeing him here, right now in front of us is still surprise me.
"Puen?!" The seniors speak at the same time. They are sound so surprise. Can't believe of what they see.
"Miss me?" He says with a low tone voice. I don't kniw if he asks me or his friends. But for sure, his eyes are on me when he asked that question.
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Sorry for late update
I got stuck again
But here is your update
See you in next chapter
Xoxo