I can't believe it took me this long to realise that i'm crazy about you
Word Count - 1609
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A new day, a new beginning.
These are just teenager thoughts. I don't actually like Leo, he's just a friend.
Well i don't know, i'm still deciding that.
I didn't get woken up like normal by Leo this morning, which i'm still confused about. He most likely is just sleeping in, even though he is normally a early bird.
I got ready as usual, putting on my ugly uniform, and attempting my pony tail. I looked okay, not as bad as i usually do. Leo was much better than me at doing my hair, but i tried.
I had 10 minutes till my bus, so i grabbed an apple and headed for the door. My bag hanged loosely on my shoulders, and i made my way down to the bus stop.
As i was leaving my apartment complex, i got a unexpected surprise.
" Tilly!"
i kept my head in my book.
the female voice got louder.
"MATILDA!!!"
i turned around in a angry, but swift motion to see Rose and.... Leo together. Leo had his arms around her, but moved them once he saw me staring at them. My heart literally shattered at the sight of them, and i couldn't help how fast my chest was rising and falling.
I turned around. Pretending as if i didn't just see them, but we both know i did. I cant help being upset, i don't know why. Leo has had a girlfriend before, but she was never a threat or even a friend of mine. Well rose isn't exactly a friend of mine, but that's beside the point.
I walked quickly towards my bus stop hoping it wouldn't be late, but my prayers weren't answered.
I was leaning against the bus stop sign, pretending to read my book and i had my headphones in hoping they wouldn't bother me. And for the second time, my prayers weren't answered.
" Matilda?"
i took out my headphones, and looked up to the person who said my name.
" Hey rose" i gave off a awkward smile.
" I've just had breakfast with Leo"
she turned around to Leo who was a little behind, and she grabbed his hand and put it with hers.
I gave a sweet, but very fake smile to Rose, completely ignoring Leo.
I put my headphones back in, trying to give them the sign that i didn't want to be bothered.
This time, Leo took my headphones out of my ears and gave me a evil smile.
" I'm here too til"
" Matilda... my name is Matilda"
He gave me a hurt, and surprised look.
" What's wrong til?"
" Nothing, do i seem upset?"
" You just seem.. i don't know. Different?"
" Well i'm sorry to disappoint, but i'm the same person i was yesterday"
He gave me a kiss on the cheek, something that often reflected his loving and italian side.
" You have to stop doing that, you do have a girlfriend this time. Wouldn't want to make her jealous" i said in a very condescending and sarcastic tone.
Leo then pulled me aside, so Rose couldn't hear what we were saying.
" What on earth is wrong with you this morning?"
" Nothing."
" Is it me seeing Rose, because i don't have to see her if it's bothering you. I literally just went to Breakfast and she happen to be there."
" I could care less"
" Well your tone is telling me otherwise"
I gave him the roll of my eyes.
He grabbed me by the shoulders, and made me look at him.
" Please don't be like this. You know i love you but i hate when you don't tell me what's going on in that head of yours"
" Really Leo, it's nothing. I didn't want a girl friend, and things are just changing. I cant stand girls, even if i am one myself"
" Okay then it's sorted, i won't hang out with her anymore."
" Don't be stupid, i'm not saying you should do that"
" Well it clearly bothers you, and i care about you more"
i stopped for a moment. he only cares for me because we are friends, but it's still good to hear.
Finally my bus arrived, even though i could stand with Leo for much longer.
" I gotta go.."
"Til, please"
" It's fine Leo, you can date her, it doesn't bother me, just try and not get me involved in that business"
" But i.. i need to tell you something"
" It can wait, i'll see you later"
The school day was very slow. My thoughts kept circulating over what happened this morning. Rose and Leo... interesting. I don't care do i? Why does it bother me so much.
Rose kept on bothering me and we had lunch. It consisted of her telling me that they kissed and she kept going over the details. I could of pulled my hair out, to hear Leo in this romantic way, has got me confused. He's so different when he likes someone, so he clearly doesn't like me, well as more than a friend.
The day ended at 3pm, and i got on the bus as per usual. I walked to the basketball courts to see them empty, Leo has never ever been late when we meet here after school. Extremely unusual, i'm very confused.
And with that my question got answered as to why he was late. Rose and him were laughing, and holding hands walking towards me.
" Sorry we are late"- replied Rose
What the fuck was she thinking? This isn't her thing, she doesn't ever meet us here. Why on earth would she say something as if she's known me my entire life like Leo has.
" Oh, that's alright"
silence. very awkward silence.
" Don't bother about walking me home Leo, you two go out, get some food on me"
i handed them a $10 bill.
" You have fun with your new girlfriend Leo, i'll see you around, maybe next week we can hang out... if your free that is"
And just like a 2 year old, i walked away, towards my apartment. Neither of them bothered to walk after me, but i looked back to see Rose talking to him as if nothing happened, but his eyes were stuck on me. He wasn't even listening to what Rose was saying, she most likely was planning on where to use the money i just gave her, but Leo, looked sad and confused and his eyes never left me.
I slipped into my home, not even bothering to do the homework i was given today. I slid into bed, closed the door and went straight to sleep.
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I awoke at 11pm, and lifted myself off the bed. I took off my uniform, and changed into my calvin's underwear. It was pretty warm in my room, so i opened my window, took a cigarette in my mouth, and sat outside. The breeze hit my face and it felt heavenly.
As i kept on breathing in more cancer, i looked at the view ahead of me. The lights in the distance made me think of everything that happened today, and i couldn't escape it.
I let myself cry.
I don't often cry. i've only cried about 5 times in my life. When people first meet me they think i'm some tough bitch, but i'm actually very soft. I buried my face in my hands, and took the cigarette out of my mouth, and i just fell apart in my own embrace. No one to hold me, no one to tell me i'm okay. I had nothing.
I didn't seem to realise that someone was next to me the entire time. The only person who i've truely opened up to in this life, a person i've known for 16 years.
" Til"
I looked up to meet those blue eyes.
Instantly i wiped my tears, not even trying to cover my bare body from him. He had seen it before, and i grew careless.
" What's wrong?"
" I miss my mum"
i came up with any excuse i could find.
" No you don't, what's actually wrong"
I meet his eyes again.
" Change"
" Change?"
" Change i see in myself, change i see in you"
" Is this about Rose?"
" For fuck sake Leo, no"
" Then what is it"
i didn't want to tell him the real reason.
" I'm going out"
I stood up, rushed into my room, grabbed the shortest dress i could find. I took my hair out and it fell on my shoulders. I never have my hair out, so when i do you know it means business.
" What do you mean your going out"
Leo followed me inside my room as i quickly fixed up my appearance.
" I need to escape these love thoughts, i need to escape these thoughts"
" Love thoughts?"
" I didn't say that"
" Yes you did"
" It doesn't matter what i said. What i am doing right now, is getting drunk"
" No"
" Yes"
" Tilly last time you got drunk, you fucked up badly and i didn't speak to you for 3 days"
" Well i'll do it better this time"
" You're not going Matilda"
" Oooooh calling me by my full name..."
" Please tilly, can't we just talk it out"
" Talking never really helps, but drinking, now that helps"
Leo rolled his eyes and walked closer towards me.
" Okay i'll see you later Leo"
" No"
" I told you i'm going"
" Fine, i know you aren't going to change your mind, so i'll come with you"
He gave me a small grin, and followed me swiftly out the door.
What a big night ahead of us......
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Yayyyyy Chapter 5! LETS PARTY🥳
love you guys
xo - Cleo