Mina's Pov:
I totally closed the doors between Wonwoo and I.
It was me who said that it was over but why does it feel so painful?
The words I released is so out of my heart.
I know I hurt him. It was visible on his eyes. That's why I cant look straight at it, I know guilt will only hunt me if I do.
And now, I was all alone. I am locked with despair and I'm facing the bitter truth.
Even if I teared up the last drop of my tears, he wont ever come back.
I heard a knock on the door.
"Mina? Are you okay there?"
It was mom. I locked myself inside my room eversince I came back home.
"Do you need someone to talk to? Do you have something to share?" She said.
I slowly looked up.
Maybe I need someone to talk to right now.
"Mom. Come in, please. I need you now." I said after a sniff.
A few seconds later, she came in, worried.
She went in my bed to lie down beside me. I cried more when she did that. She also embraced me in her arms.
"Why? What happened? Tell me everything." She gently said.
"Mom? Who do you think I will follow? Is it what my mind says or what my heart feels?" I asked.
"A mind can be intelligent to pick sometimes but a heart can never be fool. A heart can never fail to see what is the truth from a lie." She answered.
"Then I guess I've made the wrong decision...I let the special person in my heart slips in my hands." I said.
"And who is this special person?" She asked.
"He was someone who sees the real me. He accepted me for who I am...for being a nerd. He gave me importance and he always showed how much he cares for me. But all of that changed when he left me. My world crashed down mom. I hate him because of that. I thought he would never come back because it is him who said that he only used me but he still did. He came back and now he is asking another chance from me." I said.
"I was about to give him a chance but he proves himself not deserving when I found out something about him again. Mom, I'm afraid to be used by someone again. It really hurts when someone really close to your heart just used you. I did what is right just like what Joo Young said. I refused to forgave Wonwoo. I closed the doors between us also. There's no way of getting back now." I continued as I wiped the tears in my eyes with the back of my hand.
I noticed that mom suddenly stopped in caressing my arms to comfort me.
"Joo Young? Wonwoo?" She asked.
"Joo Young is a friend I found when Wonwoo left. He used to bully me but he changed now, he actually helped me a lot. And...Wonwoo is the one I'm referring to. I like him mom....alot." I admitted.
"Hmm.... so, your mind keeps on saying to follow Joo Young but your heart is refusing because Wonwoo still owns it..." She said not in a question.
She got it right.
I dont know if I saw it right but my mom suddenly smiled.
"My daughter, if I were you... I'll follow my heart no matter where it leads me. I believed that this Wonwoo guy really loves you." I was surprised by what she said.
She said it like she knows Wonwoo too well. As if she already saw him, personally.
"And...I also believed that you wont be bothered so much like this if you doesn't love him too." She added.
My eyes opened in my realization.
Do I really love him?
My heart suddenly jumped so high, out of my chest.
"Mom, how do you know if this is love?" I asked.
"Ask your heart. It surely knows the answer." She answered and smile.
Is it too late now if I'll talk to him and say what I truly feels?
♥♥♥
The next morning, I went to school with the purpose to find and talk to Wonwoo. But everytime I laid my eyes on him I'll automatically look away and hide. My nervousness is killing me.
Everytime our ways would cross, I will always turn around to the other direction, so that I wouldn't have to face him.
Days had passed, and our situation remains the same. I would do my best to avoid him, I wouldn't let our ways crossed, I wont look at him nor talk to him either.
I dont understand myself. I've decided that I will talk to him but everytime I've been planning to go near him, my feet would back away as if they have their own mind.
It hurts me whenever I saw him looking fine. I spent my nights crying while he would just care less.
Then one day, I had no choice but to cross ways with him in the hallway. There's no way to turn back, he already saw me. I tried to calm but my hands were trembling, especially when our shoulders brushed each others. It happened but he just walked past me. I stopped but he didn't look back anymore.
The tension between us worsen when he saw me and Joo Young together the day before yesterday. We held hands while walking and when Wonwoo saw that his eyes shot daggers in our direction then he went away.
"Dont mind him. He is surely jealous whenever we're together." Joo Young said but it doesn't helps to keep my mind calm down.
"Why would he? I'm nothing to him now." I stated.
"Yes you're nothing to him but you're something special to me." He said.
Here he goes again.
"Joo Young p--"
I was about to protest but he cut me off.
"Just try... Try to look at me once and forget about him." He said and cupped my face.
"Mina, if it didn't work...I swear I'll stop and leave you alone. Please, let's give it a try. Who knows you might feel the same with me too." He said.
I shook my head.
"Dont leave me no choice...you know who I really wants Joo Young and it's not you." I said.
"But he didn't feel the same to you. You'll be left alone loving someone who cant love you back, someone who's a user." He said.
He's accusing Wonwoo again as a 'user'.
"I dont care if he doesn't love me back. I just need to tell him how I truly feels. I cant stand to lie and hide what I feel anymore. I'm ready to risk everything even if my feelings fall back being unrequited. I wasted so much time and I know I hurt him alot also, I want to make things right for us so please....please just let me." I said bluntly.
His face turned dark. His expression is unreadable now.
"Why cant you like me back? As far as I remember, I did everything for you. It's me who's there when he's not. Who help you stand up again? Who brought back your confidence? Who gave you the courage to live? Isn't it me? It's me Mina. Cant you see??" He said, raising his voice.
"Thank you for everything Joo Young. Thank you because you're always there for me. Believe me, I love and care for you but not in the way you wanted. I can only treat you as a friend, nothing more than that. All you did is greatly appreciated but I believed you're only doing that because I'm just a friend." I said.
"You're not just a friend. You are special to me more than anyone in this world. I never care for anyone like the way I care for you. Are you that numb not to see it? I asked you several times for a chance between us but you never ever take time to think about it." He said.
Im feeling so guilty now but he have to understand that if I ever encourage him to pursue me, I would only make him hope for something that he didn't deserve.
I believe Joo Young deserves more. Someday he would find someone else who would be best for him, who would return the same love he gives.
"Im sorry if I made you feel that way but I dont want you to believe in false hopes. I dont want to use you as a rebound Joo Young. I dont also know why it's still Wonwoo....sometimes I wished it was you instead of him but still, no one can replace him in my heart. I'm sorry." I said.
I dont know how to explain everything without him getting hurt. It's so hard. I dont want to lose a friend like him but I need to be honest. He will keep on waiting if I didn't tell him the truth.
"I guess this is it. You're closing all the doors for us. What else can I do? I cant force you,"
He stood up.
"I'll still be here when you need me just like what I promise...I wont leave your side...dont forget that." He said before going.
I cant help the tears not to fall down when Joo Young walk away.
I once believed in my worth when he came in my life. We made so much memories as a partners in everything we did together. He'd been my best friend and he will always be.
He will still be the person I could think of that will willingly offer his hand for me to stand up when I'm down.
It will still be Kim Joo Young, a friend of mine.
♥♥♥
I'd made up my mind.
I need to talk to Wonwoo about what I truly feel. I dont care if he gets mad or if he push me away from him. He needs to hear me out.
I'm doing this for myself, for us.
It's now or never. Mom is right, I'll follow my heart. It will never go wrong.
I smiled and started to walk. I need to find him right away.
I took a deep breath before I went at the library. Maybe he was there. I hope he's really there.
I went inside and search for a guy named Jeon Wonwoo but I didn't saw him in the library.
I went out and go to the clinic but he's not there also.
He was not in the classroom, not in the music room, not in the backstage, garden, pool area, not also in the pond and not in the rooftop.
Heck! Where is he?
Why cant I find him when I'm looking for him? But why does he always show up and cross ways with me whenever I'm wishing not to see him?
I sighed.
The last place I have in mind is the gym. Yes, the place where he likes to bully me.
I took every step with a heavy feeling inside me. I dont know why but my feet is taking slow pace. My mind is saying also not to go there.
'I will just check him there. If he's not inside, then I'll go.' I said to myself.
I held the door knob in my hands then I opened the door.
I peek to see who's inside and when I did, it reveals Wonwoo hugging a girl.
The girl is embracing him like she owned him. Wonwoo is caressing her hair and back.
What breaks my heart is when he kissed the girl's head.
My heart sank by the view I'm seeing. I lose control so I unconsciously freed the door knob from my hand.
The door went wide open.
It caught their attention so they turned their heads towards me.
I was caught off-guard. My face reddened in embarrassment as if I was caught watching them secretly.
Wonwoo only look at me but he never let the girl go from his embrace. He doesn't look shock also. He doesn't care.
I was hurt and embarrassed. I dont have the face to faced them anymore.
"Sorry to disturb you, I'll go now." I said without looking at them.
I didn't wait for them to answer. I just turn my back away, wishing to erase what I saw.
I fasten my pace. In case Wonwoo would chase me then he wouldn't make it up to where I am.
I dont know where to go anymore so I decided to just go out of the university. Besides, class hour will be over in an hour from now.
.................................
As usual, I went in my part-time job at the cafe.
Tears wanted to fall from my eyes when I was working but I still manage to hold it back and masked a smile to the customers.
I needed to focus in my job, there's no place for tears here in my time. I need to do my job properly so I need to be strong atleast for hours.
I was preparing a coffee to serve when the cafe's door opened.
A new customer came.
I went out of the cashier's area bringing the hot coffee for a customer when I saw who's in here.
It was Wonwoo.
Oh no! What is he doing here? This is not the right time for us to talk because I dont know what will I say to him after I saw him with another girl inside the gym.
"Mina." He called out.
I tried to ignore him as I continued to walk. The customer is waiting for their coffee.
"Please, hear me out first before you get mad." He said.
Wow! He still have the guts to say it in my face?
"Im not mad so please get out of my sight, you're blocking my way." I said coldly.
"Let's spare a minute to talk about what you saw." He said.
"You know what? I dont have any minute to spare with you. Im working, cant you see? Besides, you dont need to explain what I saw. I dont care." I held my chin up and walked past him but he grabs my wrist to pull me closer to him.
Wrong move.
The coffee I'm holding already splashed on his clothes.
He groaned and I gasped.
It was really hot. As in super hot. What I mean is the coffee.
"I told you to wait, did I?" I said then went towards the counter to get a tissue paper.
The customers were looking at us now. I'm in a big trouble.
I sighed as I wiped his wet clothes with the tissue paper.
His chest is now visible from his wet clothes, I can also see the muscular and manly shape of his body.
Heck! What was I thinking?
I cleared my throat.
"Let's go in my house. You need to change." I said.
I asked for an assistance with my boss for a moment.
Then both of us went out of the cafe.
"Im sorry, are you okay?" I apologized.
"Not really..." He said.
"Tsk! It's your fault. Why did you suddenly grab my wrist when you know that I was holding a cup of hot coffee?" I said.
"If I didn't do that, do you think we will be together alone now?" He asked.
I rolled my eyes.
"You're not thinking. You get burnt Wonwoo! Are you crazy?"
"It doesn't matter. I got your time and attention now. It's all worth it." He answered.
I didn't dare to argue with him again. I just started to walk back home.
When we reach our house, I let him go inside.
"I'll grab you a shirt then you can change in the bathroom." I said before going upstairs to look for dad's clothes in the closet that he left here.
When I found one, I went down and saw him sitting in the couch already.
"Here. Change now." I handed him the shirt.
He stood up and was about to go when Mom came down from the stairs.
"Wonwoo? Is that you? Oh, it's you! Im happy to see you again." Mom happily said then he went down to where Wonwoo and I was.
"Oh dear, what happened to your clothes?" She asked worriedly to him.
My eyes shifted from both of them alternately with a confused look.
"I'm fine Mrs. Myoui. Dont worry." Wonwoo said.
"Aigoo, I told you to call me auntie right? I wont accept Mrs. Myoui." Mom said.
My eyes widen. I was totally surprised by what is happening.
They are talking like I was not here for a moment.
"Im sorry auntie, my girlfriend is so stubborn. She splashed the hot coffee in my body because she's jealous." Wonwoo said then he look at my direction with a smirk.
"What?!" That's when I reacted.
"Oh, is that so? You must be burnt!" Mom said.
"It's fine auntie. Look, she'll help me get change." Wonwoo said with a smile.
Mom smiled too.
What is happening in the world right now?
"You knew each other?" I asked, pointing a finger to both of them.
"It's a long story dear. I'll tell you some other time. Accompany Wonwoo in everything that he needs first, your boyfriend might catch a cold if you dont take care of him." Mom said. Her looks is teasing us.
"By the way Wonwoo, you didn't mention that your girlfriend is my daughter. We'll discuss about it next time." She said before going upstairs again.
I suspiciously looked at Wonwoo but he just shrugged his shoulders.
He was about to go at the bathroom when he turned to me again.
"What?" I asked.
"Do you have a pack of ice in the freezer? I think my skin gets really burned because of the hot coffee." He said then he suddenly took his shirt off in front of me.
My eyes widen.
"What do you think are you doing Jeon Wonwoo??" I asked then I covered my eyes using my hands.
"Oops sorry." I heard him chuckled.
"Go to the bathroom now and change! I'll get the pack of ice you jerk!" I exclaimed as I ran away from him.
When I'm in the kitchen, I heard his loud laughs before he totally go to change.
My heart is beating so fast. I was out of my world that I almost forgot what I needed to get here.
The pack of ice. Yes, that's it. I'm such a dumb to forget that just because I saw him half naked!
I went back at the living room. My heart attack came back again when I saw that he still haven't go to the bathroom to change.
"For heaven's sake Wonwoo! Get change now." I said.
"I'm waiting for the pack of ice." He said then he went nearer to me, that made me step back.
I cleared my throat as I look up, preventing my eyes to look down. Then I handed him the pack of ice.
"Thank you." He said then he totally disappeared in front of me now.
Thank God! I immediately went back at the kitchen to grab a cold ice water to quench my thirst.
When he came back, I rained him alot of questions. I forgotten to ask how he and my mom met.
"You knew my mom?" I asked.
"Yes. We first met when I helped her grab her purse back from the snatchers. The second is when I was about to pick you up. She saw me on the way here and offered me a breakfast. That's when I found out that she is your mom." He explained.
"So it's you....thank you for helping my mom." I said and thanked him.
"It's nothing really." He said.
"Is it also you who gave the glasses?" I asked.
He nodded and smile.
"I haven't say this to you before but I like seeing your eyes more if you have glasses in it." He said.
I look down, obviously hiding that I was blushing. Then I cleared my throat.
"Thank you. I'll wear it some other time. Let's go now. I still have to go back to the cafe. I already said to mom that we're in a rush." I said then I headed first at the door.
He came after me.
We decided to just walk. I didn't want to take a cab because in fact, I like to be with him longer.
Both of us were silent while walking. I was itching to ask who the girl earlier is but I'm afraid to hear what he'll going to say.
What if she is his girlfriend?
Where will I place myself in his life now?
I was surprised when he leveled himself at my pace then he took my hand.
He intertwined our hands together then we started to walk slowly.
"Her name is Kim Jin Lee. She is Joo Young's little sister. She came to visit us but she got so sad when she found out that me and her brother were not in good terms that is why I hugged her. I am just comforting her, that's all." He answered even if I'm not asking anything.
He seemed to read my mind. It looks like he knows that I am itching already to know the truth.
I sighed in relief. The heaviness left my heart when I heard what he said.
"Dont worry, there's nothing to be jealous of. She's like a sister to me." He said.
I quickly look at Wonwoo, who's now smirking at me.
"Excuse me but I think you misunderstood me, I am not jealous." I said firmly.
I held my head high but he just laugh at me.
"Stop lying and just admit that you're jealous." He insisted.
"No! I said, I am not! Okay? Besides, why would I be? I dont even care." I took my hands from him then I rolled my eyes.
"You were itching to know the truth who the girl is right? Tell me, isn't it a sign of jealousy?" He teased me.
"Hey! It's you who answered it for me! I didn't even ask who she is!" I exclaimed. My brows furrowed then I pout.
He just laugh to what I did.
"Admit it Mina, you were jealous by the moment you see me hugging someone else. You're not used seeing me with other girl that's why you walked away. You hate it dont you? Now you know what I feel whenever I saw you with Joo Young." He said.
"Jealous your face. I dont care if you hug a hundred of girls in front of me. I wont get jealous." I still insisted that I am not jealous.
I dont see the point in denying it, I just want us to be like this. To talk like there's no problem, to feel like there's no pain hidden inside our hearts, to be together like were free...like nothing else matters.
"Okay, deny it once more and I'll kiss you." He warned me.
I was surprised by what he said.
He will what? Is he crazy?
"Psh!" I said then I turn my back to him.
I was blushing too much and I dont want him to see it.
I just decided to walk away but before I do, he already grab my wrist.
He made me faced him then he pulled me closer to him by my waist.
My heart is beating rapidly but everything seemed to slow down at this moment.
I was about to pull away from his grip but he placed both of his hands on my neck then he pulled my head closer to him and that's when he crashed his lips on mine.
My eyes widen in shock but all I could see is Wonwoo's closed eyes.
I tried to resist but my knees turned week, my hands were trembling and I feel like I am slowly melting by his lips.
I didn't noticed that I closed my eyes also. I placed my arms on his neck then I began to relax and just let myself get drown by his kisses.
His lips was so thin and soft, he tastes so sweet and irresistable. His kisses were sincere and passionate with longing.
It was my first kiss.
I didn't know how to respond but I just found my lips moving and returning the same fervor he gives.
I feel like floating. I feel so lost. I never felt this way before, this feeling brings back the life in my senses. It makes my blood live and my heart leaps in happiness. It makes my mind drift off to the world where there is only me and him.
I cant get enough of him. He was so addictive. He was so good and passionate with what he's doing. And I dont want this to end.
I was back on the ground when he pulled back, catching his breath. I was chasing for air also. He pressed his forehead against mine and I knew it this time that he already noticed my burning cheeks.
"Still jealous?" He asked with a playful smile on his lips.
.....................................................................................
Since yesterday is my birthday, their first kiss happened! I'll have it as a gift for myself. Hihihi! Ahsjsndhsjsbsbnjkbsjsfsfrwqqqmh... i dunno what to say anymore, I'm still blushing 💫lmao