happy update!
i hope you all are well! catch me up! what's been going on with all of you?! how are you doing? leave a comment below!
in this chapter you'll learn a little more about Harry's mental state, and i hope it prepares you for the next chapter where you'll find out more about Harry's time in captivity
would you all want a chapter in his PoV talking about it too or would that be too much?
anyways, enjoy the update ;)
—
My feet carried me down the hall and to one of the many sitting rooms where I found a comfortable chair and took a seat.
After sitting there for a few minutes with my head in my hand I heard a knock on the wood of the open doorway and squeezed my eyes shut.
I needed a few more minutes before I could talk to Harry.
"You okay, Emmy?"
My shoulders dropped in relief.
I looked up to see Jamie standing there, his hands in his pockets and a concerned look on his face.
"No." I answered him.
"Do you want to talk?"
I nodded my head yes and he came over to sit by me.
"I found Harry's medicine in the trash. He's not taking it and I don't understand why he's not allowing himself to get better. And he told me last night that he's going to do everything he can to get better but he's not. I don't know what to do."
"Emma." He sighed. "This situation is not easy to deal with, no matter what angle you look at it from. But Harry is going to deal with his trauma in his own way and on his own time. And so will you. But this is something that a professional needs to handle, and you're not a licensed psychologist or therapist. You can only heal him so much."
"It's just. I know he won't do that, and I don't know what else to do." I said while trying my best not to cry.
"You can only give so much before you run out."
I nodded while putting my face in my hands.
"Em, you're not the same girl he left a year ago, and he's not the same man. But you will either learn to love each other for who you've become or you'll find out that maybe it's best for you to take a step back and see other people."
"I knew when he was found that things would never be the same for us, but I can live with that. What I can't live with is him acting like he could care less if he's here or not. He says one thing but does another."
"He needs more help, Emmy. The best thing you can do for him is get him that help."
Jamie sat with me for a while longer until I had pulled myself together and then walked me back to my room, wishing me luck before I went inside.
When I went in, the doctor wasn't there anymore. It was just Harry. He was propped up in the bed, his right arm connected to an iv on a stand, his head leaned back against the headboard.
I felt his eyes on me as I walked over to my vanity and sat down to put my hair up in a bun and then get my moisturiser out in order to add some life to my skin.
"I took the medicine." I heard him say behind me.
I didn't respond.
"So you don't have to be mad anymore." He added and I sighed before turning around to face him.
"I'm frustrated that you say you want to get better but you're not doing the things you have to do in order to get better."
He lowered his gaze to his hands.
"I'm doing everything I can in order to help you, but I realise I can only do so much. You have to help yourself too."
"I know." He muttered.
I watched how sad he looked.
"I understand that you don't like having control over your mind or your body, but the only way for you to get that control back is do to things that you don't want to do, like see a psychiatrist and take your medicine."
"It's not just my body and mind that I don't have control over." He said. "It's my entire life. I feel so out of place with everything. Like with you, you've changed so much and I feel like I don't know you like I did."
"Harry, I did change and I have grown up since you left, but I had no other choice. But while I have grown, I just added on to who I already was. I'm still the Emma you left behind. I'm still the Emma that loves scary movies and loves ice cream and watching Netflix all day long. And I still love you. My love for you did not fade when you left... if anything it grew stronger."
He was looking down at his fingers still, so I got up and went over to him, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to him.
"Look at me." I whispered to him and he hesitantly lifted his head up. "I know how it feels to have your entire life uprooted and taken away from you. I felt it when I got diagnosed with Lyme. I felt it when Grayson died. I felt it when my dad became the President, and I felt it when you disappeared. But i've learned how to pick myself up and accept the changes. I'm accepting the changes with us and our life. And I think the way you can start to gain some of the control back is if you learn to accept the changes."
"I'll try." He said, and his voice sounded earnest. "When did you become so wise?" He lightly chuckled, and I realised that he was trying to lighten the mood.
"I learned from the best." I leaned in, pressing my forehead against his. "I love you, Harry. Changes and all."
"I know. I love you too. Changes and all." He said back before lifting his chin in order to brush his lips against my own.
I kissed him, slowly and gently.
I broke the kiss in order to stare in his eyes.
"But I think there's one thing that will never change." I smirked at him as I ran my hand down his chest, causing him to smirk back.
"Now I really have a reason to get better."
He and I shared a little laugh before I sat back.
"What did the doctor say?"
"The dizziness was a side effect from not taking my medicine. Bed rest and fluids for today and obviously take my medicine." He said.
"Okay. Well, I guess we can have some time to relax and-"
My sentence was interrupted by the door opening and we both looked up to see Gran walking in with a chef behind her, pushing a cart.
"Gran, what's going on?" I asked her as the chef pushed the cart in the room and she stepped inside.
"You missed breakfast so I took it upon myself to bring it to you. Harry needs to eat. It will help him heal faster."
As the chef left, Gran picked up on of the plates filled with pancakes, fruit, eggs, and toast and handed it to Harry.
"Here you go, dear." She said.
"Thank you." He said to her.
"I thought you were in the clear. Why are you connected to an iv?" Gran asked.
I looked at Harry who's cheeks were tinted red.
"I haven't been taking my medicine, so it made me dizzy." He admitted bashfully. I don't think he could ever lie to Gran.
"Now why would you do that?" She sat down in a chair beside the bed.
"Control, I guess."
"Harry, I love you, but don't be stupid. If that's the only way you feel you can have control then it's not worth it. Find something else."
"I know. I already got told off by this one." He said as he nodded towards me.
"Good. She knows what she's talking about. And I know she only got upset because she loved you and wants to help you get better." Gran said before standing up. "Now eat your breakfast, both of you, and rest. And if you're feeling up to it later we could all take a walk around the gardens. The fresh air will do you some good."
"We would but we haven't said that Harry is back yet." I said.
"Well then say it. A miracle like this shouldn't be kept a secret." Gran called out to us over her shoulder as she left the room.
I looked back at Harry after she left and he shrugged his shoulders before digging in to his breakfast.
•••
The rest of our day went fairly smooth. Harry took several naps throughout the day allowing me to get some work done for the charity and write a statement about Harry's return and send it to the press secretary for approval.
When Harry woke up from his last nap of the day we decided to take a walk around the east wing to let him stretch his legs and be active.
Once we got in the hall we only walked a few feet before I took his hand.
"So is there anything you'd like to do tomorrow?" I asked him.
"I'd like to go spend more time with Mila. She wanted to go horse riding."
"I don't think you'll be able to get on the horse. That might be more than your body can handle."
"Even if I can't ride horses myself I would still have a good time because she would be having fun."
"Okay." I nodded. "I'll get it all set up."
He was quiet for a moment but spoke as we turned down another hall.
"Tell me more about this charity you started."
"Well when you went missing, I quickly found out that there are not a lot of resources available for people put in the situation of their loved one going missing. And if there are, they aren't cheap. So i've partnered with different clinics and centres in order to offer grief counselling and other types of counselling or therapy, and connect people who are going through similar situations." I explained.
"That's really thoughtful of you." He smiled at me. "I'm proud of you."
I didn't know why, but hearing those four words come from him always made me feel so happy. I loved it when he said he was proud of me.
"Well i'm proud of you too. I'm proud that we're on the same page again and i'm proud of all the progress you've made.
"I'm really going to try now." He assured me.
"I know you are."
Eventually we made our way back to our room where we had our dinner brought to us so Harry could rest while he ate.
After we ate he went to take a shower, brush his teeth and change into new pyjamas before taking his night time medicine and getting back into bed so he would be well rested for tomorrow.
For a treat, I drew myself a bath and poured in some lavender bath salts to help my muscles relax.
I was leaned back in the tub with my eyes closed when I heard the bathroom door open, and I opened my eyes to see Harry walking in, his eyes adjusting to the light.
"Sorry i'm interrupting your relaxing time, but do you have something I can use on my hands? They're so dry and cracked and I can't stand it."
"Yeah. Second drawer down in the middle row. The blue jar." I told him. I didn't mind if he interrupted me.
"Thanks." He said as he went to go find the jar and put the cream on his hands. "I've been thinking," he then said with his back facing away from me, "if you want to do the press release, we can."
"Really?" I asked as he closed the drawer.
"Yeah. I'm not ready for public outings or events yet...but i'm okay with people knowing i'm back."
"Okay." I smiled. "I'll release it. Do you want to see it before I do?"
"No. I trust you." He gave me a small smile. "I'm going to head back to bed."
He left the bathroom, and I took up my phone to send a text to Katie the Press Secretary and told her to release the announcement.
I then got out of the bath and finished getting ready for bed before going out into the bedroom where Harry was asleep.
I checked my phone once more before going to sleep to see the statement had been released along with the photo I chose of Harry and I at the hospital in Germany.
' This photo was taken a week after my family and I flew to Germany in order to do what I thought was identify Harrys body, but instead it was to greet him with open arms.
From the day he was found to today, we have come along way with the progress he is making. And now, we are finally home and Harry is still recovering, but we are just happy to be back surrounded by our family.
I realise how very fortunate we are to be reunited when so many other families do not get that opportunity, and I am not taking any second with him for granted.
We thank everyone for their continued thoughts and prayers and appreciate the well wishes.
- From Emma and Harry '
I smiled before setting my phone down and turning off the lamp before I turned my body to face Harry's and leaned in to kiss his forehead before laying down.
Once I got settled, I was surprised but happy when I felt Harry move over in the bed, his arm slipping around my waist.
Smiling to myself I placed my hand on top of his and laced our fingers together, ready for tomorrow because I knew he would have a good day.
•••
In the morning after we had both woken up and readied ourselves for the day, Harry and I made our way to the family dining room where the rest of my family was gathered to eat breakfast.
"Emmy! Harry!" Mila grinned from her chair before jumping down and running over to hug us.
"How's my favourite five-year-old today?" Harry asked her after giving her a hug.
"Good." She laughed as he went to tickle her side.
"Emma and I are going to take you to ride horses today. Are you excited?"
"Yes." She continued to giggle and laugh before they hugged once more and then made their way to the table.
Breakfast with my family was nice but filled with questions for Harry. I felt bad that he was being bombarded with questions, a lot of them he was not ready to answer, but I had to admit that I was curious too.
I wanted to know what happened.
Unfortunately, he didn't tell my family anything I didn't already know.
After we ate, Harry and I took Mila downstairs to a car that was ready to take us to the stables.
"I bet Tony will be excited to see us!" Mila grinned at us from her car seat.
"I'm sure he will be. And you can show Harry all of the things you and Tony have learned." I smiled at her. "I know he will be very impressed."
She giggled at this.
When we got there I helped Mila and Harry out of the car before Mila practically dragged us down to the stables where Tony was waiting in his stall.
"Wow, Tony is much bigger." Harry said as he reached out to pet Tony.
"Like me!" Mila laughed.
"Okay, love. It's time to put your helmet and boots on." I reminded her and she ran to get them.
"Do you remember how I used to help you put on your boots?" Harry asked her when she came back with them in hand and she smiled as Harry kneeled down in front of her and took one of her boots and held it up for her to put her foot in.
The sight was so sweet to watch. I knew Harry wanted to make it seem for Mila like he had never left. His promise that he would be back before she knew it had been broken, and even though it wasn't it fault, he still felt guilty.
I think he felt the same way with me, but right now we were still trying to get back to the place we were before he left.
"Alright. Your boots are on and your helmet is on right." Harry said after checking her helmet. "We're ready to go."
"Yay!" Mila jumped up and down while I took Tony out of the stall, and leading him out of the stables.
She showed Harry how she could get up on Tony by herself, and showed him how she could have Tony jump, trot and follow commands.
"You're doing so well." Harry grinned at Mila as she climbed off the horse. "I'm so proud of you."
"See! I'm a big girl now!"
"I always knew you were going to be great at anything you put your mind to." He knelt down in front of her, Mila coming up to throw her arms around him. "You're like Emma. If you want to make something happen you will."
"I'm going to be like Emmy when I grow up." She told him.
"I have no doubt you will be just as amazing as she is."
As Mila went to put Tony back in his stall and brush out his hair under our supervision, I moved next to Harry who was watching her.
"So how was today?" I asked him.
"Good. It felt good to get fresh air and do something normal. I needed this."
"Then let me know when you want to do it again. Or if there's anything else you want to do."
"I will." He gave me a nod of his head.
He had been more himself today. Well, more like the Harry before the capture.
When we got back to the White House, we had dinner before Harry and I made our way towards our room, Mila in tow.
"Harry, can I ask you a question?" Mila spoke as we walked.
"Of course." He smiled down at her.
"Are you going to leave again?"
I watched as Harry bit his lip and swallowed nervously.
"Not right now. But one day once i'm better i'll go back."
His answer literally made my heart feel like it was burning in my chest.
But I couldn't show it.
Not now.
I had to wait.
I had to wait to be alone.
We made our way to my room, and I did the first thing I could in order to separate myself from the shackle of an idea that he would someday leave again.
"Oh! I forgot I needed to ask my mom a question for the charity. I'll be right back." I said, putting on my best fake smile before quickly ducking out the door.
And as soon as it closed, I ran.
I ran as fast as I possibly could before I found an empty room for myself to break down inside.
After all of this... after all of the pain and suffering Harry and I both went through and weren't finished going through- he was going to leave again.
I thought that there was a light at the end of the tunnel, but now... the light was growing more dim by the hour.
—
ooooooo
what do you think about what Harry said? Do you think he will actually go back?
are you ready to find out what actually happened during his captivity?
keep reading and find out next chapter ;)
much love xx-m