— Ειρήνη / Erin —
It wasn't very often that I set aside my research, and simply indulged myself in a little... fun. But it did happen, from time to time. That's how I found myself on a fold-out couch, surrounded by about a dozen naked women, absolutely dominating them all in a game of MarioKart.
I crossed the finish line first, and stood up straight, bowing sarcastically. "I believe, ladies, that that means I am top in the next round? I'll have to go refuel, if that's how it's going to be, I'm running on empty." I laughed, and padded into the kitchen, fishing in the fridge for a snack.
A crash out back made me pause, and I hummed, looking through the kitchen window. A glow was coming from behind the shed, and pulsing slightly, like a faulty flashlight.
"Hey, Brenda? You have nosy neighbors or something?" I called over my shoulder, keeping an eye on it as I pulled on my shoes and pants, leaving my top unbuttoned for now. The sight of my generous helping of breasts might distract any opponents of mine long enough for an advantage.
"Neighbors? Honey, this is a Ranch, we don't have neighbors!" The owner of the house laughed.
"Well... who would be behind your shed, then? I'll check it out." I frowned, and grabbed my gun belt, wrapping my hips with it and opening the back door quietly.
She entered the kitchen, and saw what I was talking about, raising an eyebrow. "Well... that is odd, yes. I'll stay over here and have your back with my Tom, yeah? Yell if you need help." She pulled a large bolt action rifle off the wall, loading a round and bracing it against her shoulder calmly.
"I weep for the level of concern you show for me." I quipped dryly, and started walking, my colt already drawn and the safety under my thumb.
"Don't cry over her, I'll kiss you alllll better when you get back!" One of the other girls laughed, then retreated back into the living room.
I chuckled and then snuck up to the side of the shed, listening to the strange humming sound that hadn't stopped, but was instead getting softer. 'Strange... alright, here goes...' I turned the corner, and blinked slowly at the glowing tunnel-like structure constructed of golden light that was sitting in front of me.
I hummed, curious. "Uhm... hey, Brenda? You ever build a weird... tunnel back here?"
She piped up from across the lawn as the tunnel began to slowly close, to my surprise. "Yeah, no? You playing games with me, woman?!?"
"No... I'll check it out, gimme a mo..." I holstered my weapon, approaching the tunnel and entering it slowly, pressing a hand to the side to test its elasticity. "Hard Light? Curious... it's only a theory, as of yet... that is actually rather intriguing... I don't suppose a sample would be too rude of me..." I used my knife to attempt to chip at a piece of the wall, and a small crack appeared, a piece about the size of my fingernail falling into my hand.
I grinned at the curious texture, not unlike sandstone, but saw something odd, on the other side, like an umbra material, so dark it seemed to absorb light, making it nearly invisible. "Where did you come from..." I mused, then looked up, and gasped in shock as I peered through the hole in the tunnel's wall.
My eyes transported me into an abyss so deep and dark it baffled even my inquisitive mind, and yet, as I focused, I could see the network of connections, like the trellises under a bridge, a support system made equally of light and shadow.
I reeled back, shaking my head. "Light and Shadow? What kinda bullshit am I thinking now? I've been reading too many of my own books..." I glanced back at the entrance, and yelled as I saw it was almost entirely closed, barely big enough for my hand. It closed that last bit, and then started collapsing, forcing me towards the other end, but I clutched that little piece of hard-light in my hand so hard it cut my palm, sprinting towards the other side.
My legs proved not quite fast enough, as the other entrance, which showed a lab I vaguely recognized, closed, and I was caught in the middle, as both sides collapsed towards me. I thought quickly, then punched the side of the tunnel, cracking it open over a few precious moments, then shimmied through the hole into the shadows beyond.
Cold slammed into my body instantly, a cold that stiffened my joints and got into my bones almost immediately, as I held my breath and held on to the outside of the tunnel, my only focal point here.
The tunnel, now the only spot of light in what felt like a sea of shadows, finished collapsing in on itself, leaving a small golden tube, a connection between two points whose placements didn't make any sense to me, until I began to think in four dimensions.
I could definitely remember now, where I'd recognized the lab from: my colleague and frequent casual lover, Dr. Rothschild, was currently working on a theory of how to manipulate Space into Folding, making reality wobble in such a way that would allow travel between two designated points, even if they were light-years apart.
Clearly, she'd succeeded.
My breath was running out slowly, but I was keeping my heart rate down, thinking carefully about my options. 'If I can stimulate this string to reanimate that tunnel, perhaps I can manage to get back to the Ranch, then talk to Rothschild in the morning... how to do so? I have almost no visibility, and no materials... except...' I straddled the tube, locking my legs around it, then removed a round from my clip, re-holstering the gun and drawing my knife again.
'Dear God let this work...' I grumbled mentally, kicking myself for asking someone I didn't believe in for help; then I poured the gunpowder from inside the round onto the crack in the tube that had been where I'd gotten out, and leaned close, breathing out all of my precious oxygen as fuel, and scraped the knife against the bullet, creating sparks inside the cloud of air and gunpowder.
I groaned silently in pain at the burn that raced its way up the side of my face, but grinned at the crack turning a deep blue. 'Ha! Chemical reaction in a vacuum, suck it!!!'
The blue spread to the entire tube, (all four feet of it,) then pulsed once, sending all the golden energy out, towards me. 'Oh... shit. Chemical reaction in a vacuum!' I growled, bracing myself as I was blasted away from the blue tube, into the dark.
In my shock I accidentally opened my mouth, and the little air remaining in my lungs was instantly ripped out, replaced with that same bone-deep cold. Out of control and unable to think of any smart solves, I frowned, waving my arms and attempting to orient myself back on the blue tube, only to find that it wasn't anywhere in sight.
'Well... fuck.' I sighed, and looked around for any hints to my location in the structures all around me. These structures were a little different than the clean architecture around my origin, more like a spiderweb than a bridge, like a shatter-point, even.
After a few minutes, I hummed out loud, realizing I wasn't suffocating. My recorder was in my pocket, so I hit record, and sighed deeply. "Alright... testing, testing, 1-2-3? Well, alright then... Umbra substance within the Fold is breathable... cold, very cold, nearing 0*F, I'd wager, but not dangerous yet... I've lost my origin point, but I seem to be traveling away from a center point, so by that logic, following the shatter-patterns of this fourth-dimensional architecture would lead me to my origin... except that I have no control of my movement, and I am spinning wildly, or I assume I am. There's no air resistance, so it's hard to gauge my relative speed or velocity... I hope I'm not spinning for too long, I'd really like to go home, now..." I sighed at the childish sentiment, and then paused when I felt my spinning halt.
I wasn't moving at all, it seemed, and soon I realized why. Below me, (sort of... fourth dimensional directions are weird,) a golden tunnel was building, and I was being drawn towards it, like the hard-light held a gravitational pull.
I clutched the sides of the tunnel when I reached it, and breathed deeply, punching the side, which yielded nothing but a cracked knuckle. I growled at the pain, and drew my pistol, breathing on the barrel to hopefully allow an ignition, then shot the side of the tunnel.
The bullet didn't go nearly as fast as it should have, but it did put a heavy crack in the side of the tunnel, so I fired off the rest of the bullets in a loose circle, big enough for my body, then holstered the gun and reached for the knife. The tunnel began shrinking, and I stabbed at the cracks, slamming my shoulder into the side of the tunnel until the piece I'd cut out broke inward, and I crawled in, then darted for the nearest source of light.
I hit air, and gasped deeply, my lungs grateful for something with a temperature, then collapsed as a deep weakness entered my muscles, like I'd been exerting them nonstop for hours, instead of minutes. Sound, something I knew I had been the only source of in the Fold, (which my heartbeat had infuriatingly reminded me of,) returned, and I heard a gruff, deep voice speaking in a language I wasn't aware of, or perhaps I just couldn't hear properly yet.
I looked up, and frowned at the view of several people wearing semi-modern body armor, staring at me as a man wearing a golden cloak and a matching helmet that covered his entire face wove together a piece of hard light with his hands, in the shape of an Egyptian Ankh.
I blinked slowly, trying to register the situation against any scenario that made sense, then one clicked. "Oh fuck me... I'm in a different dimension..." I groaned, and rolled onto my back, the shadows that still clung to me like magnetized water slapping wetly against the ground. The view above me was even more weird, impossibly; it was a view of the earth, clearly from orbit.
One of the individuals, a beautiful woman with long dark-brown hair, stepped forward and stood in my view. "Dimension-Hopping is never wise, my dear... and you seem to have gotten very lucky, surviving."
"Oh I agree, unwise. Had I been aware of what I was getting into, I would've done much less to inspect the fabric of the universe, and more to get to the other side of the tunnel... actually no, I'd have done the same thing again, if I'm being honest. I'm a very curious person, and this is unexplored frontier." I sighed, and sat up as the liquid shadows slowly dissipated.
She nodded slowly, narrowing her eyes. "So you didn't know you were entering a Boom Tube?"
I raised an eyebrow at her incredulously. "That's the stupidest name for a fourth-dimensional tunnel through the Fold of the Fabric of the Universe I've ever heard."
She grinned. "Easier to say than 'Fourth-Dimensional Tunnel through the Fold of the Fabric of the Universe'."
"Touché..." I hummed, and slowly stood, my legs wobbling a little, like I'd been in the Zero-Grav chamber too long again, then looking at the man with the golden helmet. "Now! You have the ability to open those tubes? Can I ask you to open one for me; to send me home?"
He stared at me for a moment, then spoke in an oddly reverberatory voice. "No."
I blinked. "Clarify, please: no, you cannot, or no, I cannot ask you?"
"You May Not Ask."
I narrowed my eyes slowly. "Clarify: You Don't Want to, or you Cannot?"
"It is Prohibited by the Laws of Order for me to facilitate or allow Travel between Dimensions. You are here, now. That has upset the Balance already, outside of my control. However, sending you back, even were it not against the Laws, would upset the Balance yet further, something Doctor Fate cannot allow." He turned with a flip of his cloak, and then began floating, disappearing in a flash of golden light.
I growled at his empty space, and then shook my head, dusting myself off and buttoning my shirt. "Fine! I'll do it myself! If Doc Rothschild can open a Portal, so can I!... I suppose I'll need a rather large Warp Drive, to shake the Fabric and give me access to the Fold... you don't happen to have a spare Pneumatic Compressor and a Cosmic Forge lying around, do ya?" I sighed at the woman, who was still standing next to me.
She blinked slowly, clueless, then looked up. "Bruce, do we have a Pneumatic Compressor? I know of several Cosmic Forges."
One of the other men stepped forward, and opened his mouth, just before a loud 'CRAKOOM' shook the building, and I looked out the window to see the golden man destroying a large piece of machinery with bolts of energy from his hands.
"Well, Diana, We had a Pneumatic Compressor." He scowled.
I hummed, looking around, and paused. "Wait... Bruce? Diana? Are you- is this the Watchtower?!? I'm in a fucking Comic Book?!?!?" I shrieked, irate at the concept.
Diana shook her head. "I'm not sure what you mean, but-"
Batman interrupted casually. "I do. She's from one of the planets that had people visit us, through various means, then wrote about us in their literature as otherworldly creatures of immense power. I imagine she recognized our names."
I frowned at him, thinking rapidly. "So, Superman, Clark Kent? No frost breath or heat vision or super-hearing?"
He narrowed his eyes slowly. "Why wouldn't Superman have Super Hearing?"
I groaned. "Because of the complete nonsense that tries to explain it? If his ears were sensitive enough to hear screams on the other side of the planet, he'd never be able to hear what was around him, because the density of the sound would have desensitized him over the course of his young life, thickening his eardrums and blocking all but the local ambient sound!"
He shrugged. "Well, it... hasn't? Maybe his biology is just different from ours?"
"And that's another thing! His reliance on yellow sun radiation for power!!! All solar radiation is the same!!! Gaining powers from it is ridiculous!!! I-... you know what? No, I'm not getting into that soapbox warehouse, I'm going to focus on getting home, where physics make sense again." I grumbled, and looked around. "Alright, where's a door to get to the surface? I need to get a lab running, and secure a grant for a Pneumatic Compressor and a Cosmic Forge, as well as a place that dumbass in the shiny helmet can't show up and bust up my lab."
Batman nodded. "Sounds like a plan, I suppose. We have League matters to deal with, but I'm sure someone can-... I've thought of a place Dr. Fate won't go. Aqualad, report?"
A tall man with skin a little darker than mine coupled with shockingly white hair and tattoos entered the room swiftly, saluting his fist against his forehead to who I could only assume was Aquaman, despite the different image compared to what I was expecting. I'd expected classic Aquaman; tall, crew-cut blonde and 'she'll be back an hour before curfew, Mr. Kennedy!', not a buff, sexy, long-haired pirate version, more 'you'll get her back when I'm done with her'.
I started salivating a little, staring at the gorgeous abs he was casually displaying, and someone interrupted my fantasy with a hand on my shoulder. I flinched, and then grimaced at the woman on the ground under me, her arm bent at an angle. "Sorry!!! You shouldn't surprise me!!! Here, let me set that for you..." I sighed and helped her up, popping her shoulder back in with clinical precision.
She rubbed her shoulder, stepping out of my arm's reach. "Yeah... sorry. You were staring at Aquaman's-... stomach."
"I really was... I wish I could feel them... for science, of course." I sighed, realizing he'd put on a shirt, and looked away.
She chuckled softly. "Don't we all? I'm Zatanna, Kaldur and I will be escorting you to our Home, where you can... experiment in peace? I think? I guess you're a scientist, hmm?"
"Yes, I am! Dr. Ειρήνη Φύλακας, at your service, (also known as Dr. Erin Filakash, if you prefer, I know my name is a doozy,) and you're Zatanna Zatarra, Magic extraordinaire?" I smiled at her, amused by the concept of magic, though I knew it to be simply something I didn't understand, so I reserved judgement for now.
She raised an eyebrow, flexing her shoulder, then shook my hand. "Indeed... you have the advantage of me, it seems? What kind of doctor are you?"
"The Physical Kind." I smirked, and chuckled at her small blush.
"We May talk more in safety. The League is going into session, therefore you cannot be here, Doctor." Aqualad sighed, directing us towards a large platform in a different room.
I hummed, examining the technology, which seemed reminiscent of a failed experiment of Rothschild's, for a FTL delivery system. She'd ditched that for her current project, though, so I supposed these people must've found the bug in her research.
"It's impressive, no? I don't understand a lot of the techno gobbledygook, but it's really fun to watch." Zatanna grinned.
"It's a theta-wave force-field generator that creates a forcefield-capsule and sends it nigh-instantaneously from one position to another, effectively mastering Faster-Than-Light travel. My colleague was close to a breakthrough on that material, but hit a snag that had her ditching it and moving on to portals. She was entirely successful, this time around, in creating what you call a 'Boom Tube'." I hummed lazily, and then paused, reading the panel next to us.
"Close. It is actually Zeta Beams, not Theta Waves. Perhaps that was the Snag your colleague hit. Though, the creation of a Boom Tube with earth technology is an incredible achievement, so regardless, she should be proud." Aqualad said calmly, and pressed a hand to the panel.
"Aqualad, 2-0-3, Recognized. Zatanna, 2-1-6, Recognized. Dr. Ειρήνη Φύλακας, Unauthorized."
"Override, Aqualad 2-0-3." Aqualad replied swiftly.
"Recognized. Dispensing Identification; User: Nomad, 4-0-7, Authorized."
I raised an eyebrow. "Nomad? Your computer gives out saucy nicknames? Very Cool." I laughed dryly, just as my gut dropped out.