I was pulled out of the closet and thrown on to the bed. I could feel Joel's weight on top on mine. He took a hold of my wrist and places them above my head. "What are you doing here!" He yelled.
"I. . . I" I couldn't make out a word. What do I say? What do I do?
"I thought I made it clear! Why did you come back!"
"I didn't know, " I whispered.
"You didn't know, then how did you find us? How did you get here?" he yells, putting more weight on to me?
"I only wanted to see my mothers grave and the house my father built. I didn't know you. . ." I was crying. I just started crying. My throat swelled with every word. My heart sank and all I could do was cry.
Here I was with my lifemate who didn't want me. Who was yelling at me. Who didn't love me. I was nothing to him.
Before I knew it, he kissed me hard on the lip, "is this what you want?" He growled pulling away from me.
I could only shake my head no. I didn't want this and at the same time, I did want it but not like this. "Stop, " I was shaking, "Marnie?"
Joel took a hold of my shirt and tore it from the collar down, "I soundproof the room, " was all he said before he took both my wrist with one hand.
So he was casting a spell when I was in the closet?
Joel took my lips once more while his free hand made its way to my jeans, "open your mouth, " he ordered and I did.
I was hungry. So very hungry for this moment to be with him. On a long night, I thought of him. Imaging what it would like to be with him. To be loved by him. But it was the lifemates bond that made me this way, I know that. This wasn't what I wanted.
His tongue was hot against mine. I could feel my body burning for his touch. To be eaten.
With a tug, he pulled off my jeans down to my knees. His free hand, founding its way between my legs. His cold hand cupped my hot flesh making me jolt with a shiver.
"No, please, I don't want this, " I say after I broke free from his lips.
"Then why did you come? One fuck is all you want, right, get it over with, see you later type thing. Will that keep you away!"
With all the rage in me, I broke free from his grip and slapped him across the face. "You asshole, " I cried. I never cursed before. "Of all the things I have done for you. This is how you treat me? I didn't know you were here, if I did, I would have never come close to this place. Marnie asked me to stay. That's why I'm here." I took a deep breath, "get off me. I won't let myself be soiled by a man like you. "
When he didn't get off me right away I pushed me off and got to my feet. I took off my tore shirt that was no longer wearable and pulled my jeans back up.
I could feel Joel staring into my back. Was my scares that disgusting that he had to stare at them. I didn't bother to look back, I was scared to see that face looking at me that way.
I took a glance towards the window and made my way to it. I didn't want to leave the room and have Marnie see me half naked.
"What are you doing, " Joel growled, marching towards me.
"Leaving, "I hissed, opening the window, " tell Marnie I apologize for not being about to keep my promise."
"What promise?"
I looked at him for just a moment and I could see some longing in those eyes. It wasn't disgusting as I had thought but why does this hurt me more than when I thought I would see him judging this body of mine.
I lifted my leg over the sill, pulling half my body out the window and he never stops me. He didn't even reach out. I'm I not worth his love or time. Can I have any place in his heart. I guess not, "I won't bother you anymore, "I muttered.
"Make sure that happens, " I felt a pain in my chest. I wanted to cry again but I didn't dare.
"How can't I have a place in your heart? Why do you push me away? We are. . ."
"Don't you dare. I'm a married man."
"But she's gone. Can't you let your self go. I'm not saying I can replace her but please. I.. I love you. As sick as it is, I still love you."
"Your a vampire and I'm a human. It will never happen."
So he has thought about us?
"Why not. I've seen it many times."
"Get out. Now, " he muttered.
"Why are you always such an asshole!" I yelled flying back into the room. I hugged him from behind. "What is it that I have to prove to that our bonding is not sinful. That this is what it is to be like. I tried getting over you. I tried to be happy.
But I can't, if it's not you, I don't want anyone else."
"I don't love you and I never will, " he said resting a hand over my own. "My wife, I able to bring her back."
"But she won't love you, if you bring her back she will be just like me. A vampire. You may not even be her life mate. She will reject you."
"Get out, I won't believe your lies." Joel pulled away from me, " your acting like a whore."
My chest squeezed so hard that it nearly took my breath away. I was wrong. He never thought about us, never love me, never thought of me but an enemy.
There was nothing to live for.
I took a deep breath and smiled. I know I should smile because it hurts so much that I didn't want him to see the pain he caused. "Your right, I was wrong. Forgive me for my rudeness. I will take my leave. I'm. . . sorry," my voice cracked at the end and I knew I was by able to keep it together so ran and jumped out the window before I could even let him see me cry again.
I was far enough away from the cottage when I got a call from Tony. I stared at the phone for a long while before answering, "Hello"?
"Where the hell are you? I came back to look for you and you weren't by your mothers grave and then I had gone to Joel's cottage."
"So you knew that Joel lived in that cottage still, "I kicked my legs back and forth while I sat by the edge of a cliff, I could see the forest.
"Olivia, are you okay? You don't sound-"
"I'm just a shy away from town," I lied. "I just needed time to think to myself. I'm sorry for worrying you. Call me back when you get to town, I'll let you know where I am."
I could hear Tony yell at me as I hung up the phone. Ten minutes later, I received a text message from her saying she was on her way.
I took another deep breath before crushing the cell phone in my hand and letting the pieces fall to the bottom of the cliff.