"I'll tell you the whole truth then, and how I ended up here.
My earliest memories could not of more than nine or ten years ago, when I was eleven. But if I'm honest, I'm not really too certain in how old I am, I didn't even know my name back then.
A man (who looked like you) stood in front of me, with a forced sympathetic expression looking down at me.
"Miss? How did you end up here?" His lines were forced and rehearsed like he said them a million times before, "these are dangerous woods you know, not safe for a young girl."
Before he said that, I couldn't even determine my own gender, I was just an empty soul with no knowledge of anything episodic, or semantic at that.
"Itzal," the man called a name, fed up now it seemed, "come sort her out."
Another boy came over, my age I think, helped me stand up and took me inside, through this cabin in the woods, up the stairs into the attic, containing nothing but a bunk bed and a set of draws. There was one window at the end of the room, it was the only source of light other than a tiny switched off lamp, the cloudy grey light covered half the room at best. It felt just as cold as the outside did.
"Where... where am I... who are you? Who... am I?" It was if I suddenly remembered I could speak.
Itzal sat me down on the bed, brushed off my shoulders with a sad and tired expression.
"Your name is Riko," he told me, "it always has been, and you've been here as long as either of us can remember."
"I've never been here before..." I looked around the room, as if to correct him, but the boy obviously knew more than I did.
In what felt like fear, I wrapped my arms around my shoulders, and as I did so, I could feel small strands of hair, tickle my fingers I flinched.
"Oh- I, my hairs so long... I don't think I like it..." I frowned, pulling a few locks of it in front of my face to inspect it.
"I know," Itzal got up to retrieve a pair of scissors of the dresser, they were stained with previous strands of hair, white hair. "Turn around."
I did so out of fear, I think, this strange man was coming at with a sharp object, from my perspective. The boy however didn't harm me with the scissors, just lifted chunks of my hair and chopped it off messily.
"Have you ever cut hair before!" I winced, startled by the little precision he was putting into the action.
"I have." His voice was expressionless, like his face, "yours."
"You keep saying things like that... but I promise we have never met!" I reminded him, once he was done with my hair I turned back around, the silver strands just about reached my chin now, it felt a lot better. "And you seem quite tired by all of this, like... you've done it before."
He looked at me and sighed, his expressionless face seemed almost sad. "That's because I have.."
"That's impossible!" I protested, "I told you we've never met,"
"You well, you haven't met anyone else before have you." He informed me, "can you even tell me what day of the week it is? Where you were born? What were your parents names?"
"I..." I wanted to tell him, the words were on the tip of my tongue, "it's..." the memories were there, I just couldn't reach them, it didn't take me long to realise though, I was reaching for nothing.
"Exactly," with a tempered triumph, Itzal got up to put away the scissors.
I couldn't feel a thing, Itzal got on with other tasks in the background, I couldn't pay him any attention, I was trying to search through an empty brain. Staring through the floor into my own mind, with nothing in it. Trying to remember something, anything, but I couldn't. I must of been in this dazed state for a while, as eventually Itzal returned him attention to me, he knelt before me like an adult, like he something important to say, or a promise to make.
"Your name is Riko, both of us here live with this magician called Yuuki, he'll tell you he's offered to take you in, and I guess he has, he'll behave like a guardian to us, but he uses you like a lab rat, he practises his magic on you, to erase memories, many times has he emptied your mind," more rehearsed lines, I stared back at him, making him uncomfortable I think, he had to look away. "Don't tell him you know, just behave as you usually do."
I continued to gaze over him as he looked down. I thought his hair was black, but it looks like he had dark red shades coming from his roots. He was ghostly pale, and his eyes weren't right, the pupil and iris were all orange, and the outer section was black, but had I known any other eye? Yuuki's were the only others I'd seen, and they were the same as yours.
I guess, I'd have to believe his words, what else can I know? What else do I know?
"So you have cut my hair before..." if his story was true, then what he said before was right.
"Yeah," he looked back up, "I tell you this every time, I know you don't like it long, still you make this resolve to grow it as long as you can, until.... the next time he erases your mind, so I cut it again..."
I reached for the short strands again, at this length I could only she the very tips of my hair, even if I pulled it in front of my face. I wonder if what he said was true.
"But... I, I won't let it happen again."
The first bit of expression I'd ever seen on his face, was a ghostly smile, faint on his lips but left a strong presence. Most likely because, I'd only seen him smile a couple of times since. I had faith in that smile.
Itzal was right, it was just as he predicted. Yuuki, offered to take me in, the lost parentless child with no memory of even her name and treated us like he was our guardian. Yuuki didn't let me leave alone, if I were to go out, it was with either with Itzal, or with himself.
The first time he took us to a nearby village, the second closest to our cabin in the woods, I was amazed. I felt I had never seen so many people in my life, Yuuki guided us around and I couldn't help but look around in awe. He'd notice and point things out like some sort of sibling, or parent. Look at that building, that statue, that store, and tell us everything he knew and I hated how he knew so much.
Itzal, went out on his own once, telling me before he left, today was the day he secured his promise. He had some sort of plan, all I had to do was pretend I couldn't see. The first night I remember lying, pretended I struggled reading books, seeing far away. Itzal than presented the glasses, and after a while Yuuki approved of them. Their purpose was not to aid my sight.
Within a month of what I remember as my life, Itzal came up to me with a warning, while we sat in our little attic room. Rushed in like it was an emergency and placed his arms on my shoulders. He did so, but still with this dead expression on his face, the one he always had to this day, I often missed his rare and faithful smile.
"He's going to try and erase your memories again," Itzal warned, "he'll call you down in a minute, just pretend you don't know, act normal," if only I knew what normal was. "And he'll shoot this light ray thing at you, once he has just act disorientated, act like you always do... the first thing you would remember, behave like you did then..."
He seemed a little panicked, but I got his message. This was the moment we'd been waiting to test, if these glasses helped at all. If by wearing them I'd get to retain the month of memories I had.
Yuuki did, called me downstairs, just outside our little hut. He hadn't asked me to take my glasses of, only not to cover my face, I did as I was told.
"Don't be afraid, I'm just going to test something, it will all be over after this light..."
And it did hurt, because I can remember this painfully bright light hitting my face, my eyes burned for a moment, and then I was back. My memories still intact, but I still fell to the floor.
That was the only part that wasn't a lie, it was as if the light had forced me down. But everything after that was, well, forced.
"Miss? How did you end up here?" His lines were forced and rehearsed like he said them a million times before, "these are dangerous woods you know, not safe for a young girl."
Yes... he'd said this before. And probably a hundred times before that, I wobbled on purpose. Faked my confusion, my fear.
He called Itzal at this point, who rushed over to take me inside.
"You're either incredibly talented or it didn't work..." he muttered as he pretended to carry me through the house.
"I'll take that as a compliment." I grinned, for this the first time as I remember, there was a sigh of relief.
From then on my hair grew and grew, and I am proud to remember everyday since. There was a total of six more attempts to erase my memory, and all failed, not that he knew. I wondered why he kept doing it, he did the same thing each time and the results were the same, so why continue to try erase my memory? Did he fear, if I kept my memory too long I would want to leave? If I went to the nearest town and stayed there why would he suffer? Did he fear I would expose him? Why not erase my memory and drop me on the side of the road somewhere, I wouldn't know it was him, at least he would believe that.
And I never understood Itzal either, he never had his memories erased. He was more of his servant, his butler, running up to nearby villages for food shopping. Was that his only role. I'd asked, and he just shrugged. Either he wasn't telling me the whole truth or he was very afraid of our guardian.
Months past, and then there was a change. You won't remember but I do. How he bought someone new home, a young girl, a little younger than me who was the spit of him. His little sister, you.
It's funny, how you have no recollection of how we did in fact have dinners together, play together in your brothers absence and talked, had normal conversations. But those things did happen. I remember watching from the window as Yuuki taught you that magic of yours, how you struggled at first then triumphed in the end. Proud of yourself, he praised you.
And then within in a month, he made you forget us. All you remembered was that stupid magic and those stupid words about killing the shadow dragon slayer. To this day I still don't know why he asked that of you. He took you to your true home, and I never saw you again, until a couple of months ago.
It's funny because, I saw Rogue, last year at the grand magic games, and I caught myself laughing. He was alive, you hadn't killed him yet. What was Yuuki doing? Was he a patient man? Rogue seemed innocent, other than being in an awful guild, had done nothing wrong, so why kill him?
Within a week of your departure from our little hut we watched smoke rise from a nearby village, only for Yuuki to return home covered in smoke. Erratic, pained by something, he called us both down from our dim attic room.
Tried to erase my mind again, and I almost faltered out of surprise. I almost made it seem like I could remember and he had failed, so fell unto the floor and covered my face, to hide any sign of familiarity with the situation.
"I'm done here, I'm not staying anymore." I could hear Yuuki say as I kept curled up on the ground, "take her to the next village and leave her there, someone will pick her up, but I can't be carrying her around anymore, I don't want to, I don't need to , I don't have to."
I didn't hear Itzal's response, he probably nodded. I assumed so because I heard foot steps approach me and lift me up.
"Hurry up, Itzal, I need to leave. I have to go." Yuuki was pacing, as I sat up I could see he nervous look on his face. It was new to me, maybe he had behaved like that in my presence before, and I couldn't remember it.
After that was funny, because, I wasn't in control of my body. I just stood up and walked out, with Itzal following behind me. A weird sensation, like I was moving in a dream, I could feel my limbs, I could hear the sound of my feet hitting the ground, but had no power over it.
It wasn't till Itzal and I were far away from the hut that I felt my control return, I collapsed at the wait of my own free will.
"Sorry," he apologised, emotionlessly, "my magic, I never introduced it, controlling over people like a puppet. Yuuki said, to hurry so I..."
I stood up, less angry than confused, but more used to the confusion than anything.
"What's going on?" I asked, "where are we going now."
"Yuuki's done here, I'll take you to the near by village I'm sure someone will look after you." He said with such maturity, I still don't know how old he is.
"Wait -won't you stay." I questioned.
"I'm going back to Yuuki." He spoke, again, with no emotion or struggle.
"Why? This is your chance to get away?"
He shook his head, his only response. For someone with puppeteer magic he was sure behaving like a puppet.
He left me on the door step of a couple he'd been watching for a while, never had a child, always wanted one, he'd thought that if I'd ever had the chance to be free. He'd leave me here. And he did.
But at the same time, I'd begged him to stay too. Why would he want to go back there?
The last time I saw him smile. The last expression I saw him make before the GMG. Where he only looked empty and emotionless. Ruined my last memory of his smile.
"Maybe I was selfish to stop him erasing your mind, it might of been better if I just let him erase your memory, you wouldn't be so bothered by this." He shook his head, I reached for his hand but he moved it away. "Go live your life, Riko, you're free from him, just forget this part of your life, pretend it didn't happen."
"Wait-"
He ran off, faster than me. Not that I had the energy to stand and chase him. Not that I wanted too either, I did want him to come back, but following him would mean going back to your brother.
Instead I prepared myself for another lie.
I knocked on the door of this couple, hugged myself as I waited for it to be answered. Then:
"Can you... please help me... I don't know where I am. I can't remember a thing."
----
Was this poorly written thing worth the nearly four month wait? No. As always I'm so sorry for these inconsistent updates 😅
I'm not going to lie this time and plan more chapters, because I've got my alevels soon soooo. But we'll see how it goes.
Also the backstory no one asked for! Hurray! I actually can't deny at this point that Riko is my favourite lmao.