35 – Waiting
Published: 12/25/2018
TRIGGER WARNING: for offensive terminology
Happy Christmas! Sorry for the long wait... pun not intended. Or intended.
Draco was so stupid. He should have remembered when the potion wore off before that his anxiety skyrocketed. In his sleep-induced state, it only made it worse. He slipped right back into the memory, again, playing out more bits of the scene. However, this time, Harry brought him back out, pulling him into his arms.
"Draco," Harry whispered, but he couldn't respond, it hurt too much. Harry lifted him up and dropped him gently on the bed without difficulty. He climbed in next to him, bringing Draco close to his chest. "Can we play the game?"
Draco shook his head. He didn't think he could.
"Will you listen to mine?" Harry said, his voice quivering.
Draco looked into his eyes and clearly spoke. "Of course, Harry." Harry's pain was always more important than his.
Harry almost breathed a sigh of relief and regaled his dream of death and destruction. The fiendfyre, ever present in Draco's dream cycle, was a critical entity in Harry's as well. Listening to Harry talk about people's faces burning off, certainly took his mind off worse things. He actually missed the acute fear of being burned alive. Draco put his ear against Harry's chest and his heart was beating faster than his normal steady rhythm. Harry was scared, even after finishing his story. Draco looked up in his eyes, again, and they were staring back at him, wide and in pain.
"Harry, are you okay?" Draco said, rotating in his arms to look at him properly.
"I should be asking you that, Draco..." Harry said, guiltily, tears in his eyes.
"I'm okay. I got... lost, but I'm back. I'm worried about you."
"I'm just so... I miss you. It's so hard to talk to people, about anything," Harry whispered. "I-I had a fight with Ron last night."
"What for?"
"Nothing and everything."
"That's nice and vague," Draco chided.
"He started questioning me about Bill and then started asking me how I was doing. I just snapped... started screaming. I was just so angry. I didn't know how to stop. I'm not saying he didn't deserve it or that he did. I'm not sure... of anything."
"You have to let it out, Harry. It was pent up in you."
"I told him what happened over the summer.... I mean what happened to... me."
Draco frowned. "What did he say?"
"I think he was just shocked more than anything. He tried to apologize, saying that he didn't know. Funny thing is that he always understood me loud and clear before," he growled.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what to say," Draco said, still just as unsure as Harry was about the Weasel.
"Nothing you can say. It's on Ron."
"This is my fault," Draco stated.
"No, it's not. We're not going through this again, are we?" Harry said, unhappily.
Draco shook his head.
"You want to talk about yours?" Harry asked, his green eyes searching Draco's.
"No... I can't."
"Not even why you were under the bed?"
"It was a hiding place when I was a kid. Until I realized that my father could homenum revelio me and magic the bed upward."
"So, it was a childhood... memory?" Harry asked, quietly probing.
Draco broke eye contact to pick a piece of lint off Harry's dirty shirt. "No... it wasn't."
"Was it about what happened last night?"
Draco winced, remembering the dementor and then the memory that it had strip-mined out of his brain.
"Why were you out there, anyway?" Harry asked as Draco did not confirm or deny it.
"Blaise didn't tell you?" Draco asked, surprised. He thought that they were gossiping behind his back. Was he wrong?
"No, he only said that you were hiding under your bed when he came to get me."
"I had my probation meeting last night in Hogsmeade," he breathed, trying not to think about that bitch any more than necessary.
Harry straightened, anger brewing. "Are you okay? What happened? Is he a dick?"
Yes, she is, Draco thought. "No, it's not that... on the way back... that d-dementor showed up and chased me back to Hogwarts.... I barely made it to the gates. McGonagall knows."
Harry went from red to pale green in seconds. "Oh, shit! Are you alright?"
He nodded grimly. "But the dream was leftovers from that."
"Fuck... why didn't you say something? I could have walked you to your meeting."
"I didn't want to bother you. I had to go alone, anyway."
"Still.... But it attacked you, again? This is bad. Maybe I should teach you the Patronus Charm?"
"Another day..." Draco muttered, wishing to get off the topic. He couldn't cast a Patronus. His wand sucked, he was strong enough to do it wandlessly without killing himself from the effort, and he never had a pleasant moment in his whole life, much less a happy one. "How long does it take to go get food, anyway?"
"Don't know," Harry said, getting up and attempting to unlock the charms on the door. Draco took them down for him.
Harry opened the door and Blaise and Theo were outside holding a full plate of food.
"How long have you guys been out here?"
"Not that long," Blaise said, and they came in and relocked the door.
"We didn't want to explain why we had two plates. We piled up it up. Should be enough," Theo said, smiling, passing Harry the plate.
Draco gave him a look. The assholes only brought one set of silverware, too. Crafty shits. Harry either didn't notice or didn't care. He sat back on the bed with the plate and forked a bite of potatoes. Then he cut a mouth-size piece of pancake and speared it.
"Pancake?" Harry said, brandishing that fork like a wand for Draco.
Draco went a little red. "They're don't taste like...."
"True. But you have to eat something and I'm not finishing this stack," Harry said, wiggling the fork closer to Draco's face.
Draco took the bite of pancake, eyeing Potter as his lips wrapped around the fork he still held. Harry smirked victoriously watching him. Harry had figured out what the Slytherins had plotted. Draco was actually impressed by Potter's shrewd observations. He wasn't as oblivious as he had thought.
"It's not as good as yours," Potter said, taking a bite of his own, before offering another to Draco.
"I did learn from the best," Draco said, accepting it, again.
He didn't see it as demeaning to be, in essence, spoon-fed. This was something completely different as he felt his blood rush downward. Harry's lips had been on that same fork. Draco could see that Harry was affected by the act, too. His eyes were dilated, hungry almost. Draco took his time pulling the pancake off the tines. Harry almost shuttered. Who knew eating pancakes could be so... invigorating?
Draco with some boldness, moved his hand up and wrapped his fingers right above Harry's on fork. He pulled it free and sliced through the stack on the plate. He stabbed prongs through a large bite of three layers and offered it up to Harry.
"Course it's in a stack. Not how you like your pancakes: misshapen and sloppy. These are nice and neat."
Harry took the bite whole, grinning like a maniac. Draco's heart quickened. Harry swallowed, not trying to be subtle about it at all.
"Like you," Harry said, slowly and Draco had to stop his hand from shaking. Harry leaned in closer, whispering, "Nice... and... neat...."
Draco dropped the fork as he stared into the green eyes of his savior. It clattered on the plate on the bed between them, but Draco didn't even flinch. He was stuck, again. Harry moved his hand upward and threaded it through Draco's long blonde hair. He closed his eyes, almost purring under Harry's gentle petting. He moved his face into Harry's hand and he didn't even hesitate to caress Draco's cheek.
Draco sucked in a breath and tried to keep the tears at bay. It felt so good and so wrong at the same time, just like the hand-holding. Draco loved how it felt, even if the memories tried to bring him down. Harry wouldn't hurt him. But the hand stopped moving and Draco opened his eyes. Harry was staring at him concerned. Draco loved that he could read him so thoroughly, but it was annoying sometimes. He tried to convey that he was alright, but no words would come out.
Draco moved his head further into Harry's palm, but Potter hated his reliance on non-verbal communication. This time he obliged him, moving his fingers over his skin lightly, again. Draco smiled that he had complied, but when Harry's fingers drifted down to his neck and around Adam's apple, he flinched. Harry dropped his arm immediately and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
Draco had no intention of sharing why that had triggered such a fierce response. He looked down at the plate and took another bite of food.
"So, why do you like the messed-up ones?" Draco said, trying to be light-hearted and Harry reluctantly smiled and went with it.
"Cause no one really does. Even if they are the same as the others. They just look bad, so people disregard them. It's not their fault that they're different or bad things happened to them," Harry said, staring his vibrant, unflinching eyes straight into him.
Draco trembled and then interlocked his fingers with Harry's hand on the bed. He blushed slightly and his eyes were a little moist. "I just thought you liked them because they're sloppy... like you... and your hair."
Harry grinned. "You're not wrong. But you've been letting yours loose lately." He looked like he was refraining from touching it.
Draco went red.
"What?" Harry prodded.
"Nothing."
"Nothing is you blushing like crazy or am I wrong?" Harry asked, amused, but then frowned. "Or is it something else? You still have your potions, right?"
"I have enough to last two years, honestly."
"Then?" Harry prompted, not letting it go.
Draco dropped his eyes, wondering if Harry would just shut up if he didn't answer.
"Draco," Harry whispered, his breath ghosted his ear he was so close. "Tell me."
Draco tilted his head upward. He and Harry were mere inches apart, again. "I... you... seem to like it better."
Harry's smile was breath-taking. He even gave into his urges and ran his fingers through Draco's hair, again. "You're right. I love it this way. But I can handle it anyway you want. You look amazing, no matter what."
"I know," Draco said, his cocky attitude breaking through, but his heart was soaring with that praise. He was tempted to kiss Harry right then and there, but he heard the muffled snicker.
He turned his head and saw that Blaise and Theo were lying on Theo's bed, up against his headboard, staring directly at them like they were watching the large idiot box Harry took him to. Harry also looked and sighed. They both had forgotten Draco's roommates were still in the dorm. He heard Harry swore under his breath. Draco agreed.
"Don't mind us... continue," Theo said, a smile on his face.
"I don't think so," Harry said, dryly. "Were you enjoying the show?"
Show... that was what Harry called it, Draco thought, letting Harry handle the awkward conversation.
"It was interesting. You two are very self-absorbed... didya know that?"
"Huh... well, I'm not that hungry. You need it more than I, Draco. I better get ready for class."
"Oh, yeah, hold up!" Blaise said, hopping out of bed and Summoning a bag of candy from his stash. "As requested."
"Thanks. It'll do. See you in class, Draco," Harry said and waited for Theo to remove their wards and check the hallway was clear, before leaving.
"What was that about?" Draco asked. Blaise giving Potter a random bag of candy was strange.
"Oh... nothing nefarious. Only good things."
"Huh... why do I have trouble believing you?"
"I don't know, Dray. Why do you not use hair potions, again?" Blaise said, smirking.
Draco blushed again, burying his face in his hands. "Don't...." he whined, not at all pathetically.
"Leave him alone, Blaise. If you hadn't started laughing, he might have kissed Potter," Theo said, not helping his mortification.
"I think you're right. Were you about to kiss him, Dray?" Blaise asked, sitting on his bed.
"I don't know," Draco said, his voice muffled by his hands.
"What kind of answer is that?"
"My reasons for not being with him haven't changed. He could get hurt," he said, looking up at Blaise.
"Yeah right... after that messed-up pancake speech, he's not going anywhere. I can't believe he didn't kiss you...."
"You were practically begging him, too," Theo muttered.
"Hey!"
"What the hell is he waiting for, anyway?" Blaise asked.
"He... He's waiting for me. He wants me to do it."
"What?"
"Why?"
"It's..." Draco paused, trying to frame the answer. "It's because I said no and asked him not to. He respected my decision."
"But you're... you want it. He's not that blind."
"He's stubborn... like me."
They both shook their heads.
"So... do I need to hex your probation officer, Dray?" Blaise asked, suddenly.
Draco jerked his head up at him at the sudden topic switch. They didn't know what happened.
"You're pretty shook up. Who was it?"
"No one you'd know. But it was fine. I got attacked on the way back... by that dementor, again."
"Dementor!" they both said, and Draco recounted what had happened, up until he had gotten through the main gates.
"Shit... what the hell? This isn't normal," Blaise said.
"Maybe we should read up on dementors. Figure out how it's possible."
"Yeah, good idea. Research party this weekend, then?" Blaise said, grimacing.
"I do love research parties," Theo muttered.
"Uh huh."
Draco nodded and finished eating his breakfast. They went down to Potions, stopping at the Infirmary to get his daily potion. Harry was already in the classroom, but Draco watched him share a conspiratorial look with Blaise who nodded. Blaise did not fain to share his plans with him, so Draco flipped open his book and started reading the month-long brewing process of the Wolfsbane Potion.
"Good afternoon, class," Professor Slughorn announced. "I've decided to assign partners for this next month and maybe longer, as you will be brewing several potions, some of which require long periods between adding ingredients. You may have to come when class is not in session, so you'll be splitting these times or coming together. So, the list of partners is on the board."
Draco scanned the board and third down was Malfoy-Potter. He also saw Longbottom-Zabini, Granger-Weasley and Nott-Parkinson. So that's what they were planning.
"Alright, go sit with your partner. This will require teamwork."
Blaise gave Harry a look like he didn't know whether to smile or be mad. Harry had arranged that without his knowledge. Interesting.
"That little shit," Blaise complained slightly.
Harry came over and claimed the other half of Draco's table. "I'm sorry, Theo. There wasn't many choices."
He shrugged and whispered, "Everyone else can have time with their love interests, I guess." Theo shuffled over to Pansy's table.
Draco started to pull the ingredients out, but said, quietly, "This is dangerous Harry." Harry shrugged and they barely talked the rest of the class.
They met Daphne outside of Charms, which had moved onto Muggle-Repelling charms and Draco groaned at how poorly his wand was doing. He faked his way through casting by doing it wandlessly, but he saw that Harry was talking to his old dorm mate, Seamus, when Dean had run off to use the loo.
"Oh, he's pretty sore about it," Seamus said, quietly. "But I can't get 'im to calm down. I don't got any hard feelings toward Malfoy, Harry. But I'd rather stay outta this fight as much as possible."
"I understand. Thank you, though."
"Anytime Harry... anytime. I have your back... but I have to support Dean, too."
"It's fine with me. Don't worry about it."
Draco nodded approvingly. Harry was making up with his friends one-by-one. He shouldn't mess that up by kissing him and making it worse. He noticed that Ron was acting very awkward, almost to try to appease Harry somehow. But Harry was still very much upset. He certainly had a temper, but Draco doubted he could carry a grudge. He had forgiven him after all, and Draco had done so much worse things than the Weasel.
Professor Flitwick assigned them homework and sent them on to lunch. On the way, Daphne started explaining that there was a sneezing flu going through the girl's rooms. Though strangely, it had missed her room and the Slytherin room. She said that the wards were strong.
"They're ready for an attack," Blaise commented. "We could...."
"No, don't tell me," Draco interrupted.
"Why?" Daphne asked.
"Because if my probation officer asks about it, I'll have to talk. I can't lie. Apparently, I have to answer all their questions or I could be found to be violating my probation. They could send me back if I lie."
"Okay, no problem, Dray. I kinda figured that was possible so I never said anything out right. Don't worry about lying for me."
"Thank you, Blaise," Draco said, relieved.
"But do close your eyes if I tell you, too," Blaise chuckled.
"Whatever," Draco muttered as he took his usual spot at the front of their lunch table, staring at the wall. He hated seeing the looks people still gave him.
"Draco... did Alexus, Pansy or Tracey attack you?" Blaise asked, sitting across from him.
"No. They haven't. Just taunts."
"We'll let them be for now, Daph."
"Okay," she said, readily accepting his decision. Blaise was their leader, now, after all.
Suddenly, a large black owl dropped a box in front of him. It was Wednesday. His mother always liked sending things on Wednesday, hump day. Adalynn took a few bites of his roll and flew off without waiting.
Down the table Draco heard, "Harry wasn't that your owl?"
"Nope," Harry lied to Ron's face and then immediately left the Great Hall
Ron watched him go, but just started shoveling food into his mouth. Draco opened the box to find some homemade sweets and a letter. She apologized for the small box, but was sending her love. She also wrote about how she was spending a lot more time at her sister's house and asked about him, his classes and Harry. He'd have to send a letter with the school owls.
"Zabini!" a shout cried as Dean had tossed his fork down, giving up on eating.
"Yes, shit-mouth?" Blaise answered and Draco had to smile.
"I can't eat anything!" Dean whined. "Take this fucking curse off, now!"
"I don't know what you are talking about? What curse?"
"Don't play dumb! You're the one who cast it! Take it off!"
"I didn't do anything! How dare you accuse me! I am a rule-abiding Hogwarts student," Blaise declared loudly.
"Fuck you, Zabini! Take it off or you'll regret it!" Dean spat.
"Are you regretting it?" Blaise said, pointedly. "And swearing at me isn't helping your cause."
"I can't eat! I'm going to starve!"
"Yeah, right. Your over-active mouth spews so much shit, it's no wonder that everything that goes in tastes like it. Maybe you should keep your fucking mouth shut for once."
"Go fuck yourself!"
"No, thanks. I can find someone if necessary," Blaise said, loftily.
"Oh... like your little bitch you're protecting?" Dean said. Draco winced at the direct insult.
"You want to magically develop erectile-dysfunction?" Blaise countered, his wand out.
Dean jolted and looked down at his package like Blaise already hit him with a spell. "You won't...."
"Me? Who said anything about me? I know a chap who knows a chap. The point is... your loud mouth is getting you into trouble. You better walk away, before I convince your boy toy he'd be better with a real man."
"What did you just say!?!" Dean growled.
"Oh, I'm sorry! Were you still in the closet?"
"I'm not a fucking fag!" Dean roared.
Draco happened to glance at Seamus, who lowered his head. He had a feeling that Blaise thought Dean was with Smith and was trying to rattle him. But no, Seamus was the one in love with him or Dean was denying their relationship.
"No, you're just an asshole," Blaise growled. Draco knew he was itching to hex him.
"Fuck you! Faggot! We all know you take it up the ass... and now you're bending over for the Death Eater, too, or is he your bottom bitch?"
Draco looked away embarrassed at the implication.
"Nice to see that you a bigoted, fuck-wad. You know statistically most homophobes secretly like to get fucked up the ass," Blaise sneered.
Dean launched himself at Blaise, who didn't raise his wand in time, and they started rolling on the floor. Theo stood up with his wand ready, but they were moving around so much, he didn't risk it. Draco didn't move.
"Enough!" roared their least favorite professor.
The headmistress wasn't in the Great Hall. Both Blaise and Dean were forcibly ripped away from each other. They got to their feet. Dean had a black eye and Blaise was bleeding a little from his nose. Draco grimaced when he looked at Dawlish, knowing that this wasn't going to be fair.
"Detention, Zabini... and you, too, Nott. Every Friday for the next month. 50 points from Slytherin."
"I didn't do anything," Theo said, clenching his wand tightly.
"Tell that to Mr. Hopkins. You can join them, Ms. Greengrass."
"But professor! Dean hit Blaise first! You heard what Dean said to him!" Hermione said, outraged.
"I didn't see or hear anything. Three o'clock, every Friday," he ordered and left.
Draco lowered his head. Now, he knew how Harry felt every time Snape took the Slytherin's side. Dean walked away, still angry. The others sank down in their chairs. Hermione sat down next to Blaise.
"Well, at least it wasn't every day. You should be able to hide in the room, easy enough," Blaise grunted.
Draco grimaced. "I'm sorry."
"How was that, in any way, your fault?" Blaise huffed.
"He hates me. They hate me."
"What and we were all bestest buddies before? We are Slytherins. The other houses hate us. Finish your lunch, Dray."
Hermione complained some more about the situation and then apologized to Draco about last night. "I was just worried about you."
"It's okay. It just sounded like you were yelling at me."
"Don't listen to him, Hermione. We yell at him all the time."
"Shut up."
"Are you okay, though? Professor Dawlish is very unfair."
"I'm alright. Blaise is taking care of me," Draco said, looking at the table. Hermione nodded, still disgruntled and went back to Ron. Harry was still conspicuously absent. His argument with Ron was still affecting him.
After an uneventful Ancient Runes class, Draco and his friends found themselves in their dorm before dinner. Daphne grabbed her books and came over to study. Draco had to get caught up on his school work, namely his Defense Against the Dark Arts homework which was longer than any other assignment he had ever written. He sat at his desk and started writing. Luckily, he knew all about the spells already.
"You need any help with that?" Daphne asked. Blaise came over to look at his parchment.
"No, it's not hard. It's just annoying. I'm a fast writer."
"Alright, but we all got class tonight though, so I'm going to take you to yours early. Is that okay?" Blaise asked.
"Of course, you guys don't have to keep inconveniencing yourselves," Draco said, though thoroughly grateful they were.
"It's not an inconvenience, Draco. It's more inconvenient that we have to make sure you're okay after you get hurt. That's where our stress comes from," Theo replied from across the room.
"He's not wrong. As long as you are safe, we are happy," Blaise said, putting his hand on Draco's shoulder.
"Thanks. I don't know how I would have survived without you guys," Draco said, wiping his eyes.
"You would have gotten by, but it wouldn't have been pretty. You are a survivor."
Draco shook his head.
"You are, Dray. Anyone one else who got Crucioed as much as you had, would have given up."
"I did... a few times... at the prison," Draco said, his voice dropping to a whisper.
Blaise knelt down next to him and took his hand, silently encouraging him to talk.
"I stopped eating... I couldn't fight the memories anymore, but then the guard started to force-feed me... then he tortured me. I went inward and I wasn't going to come back. But Harry came, he pulled me out of it. I really didn't want to... I just wanted it to be over."
"Dray... it's going to get better. It has already. We'll be out of this school in no time. You and Potter can go into hiding together after school and no one can hurt you. It's just one year, Dray. You can do it. You got all of us to help you."
"I know. Thanks."
"I'm glad you told me. But we are taking care of you. Anyone who hurts you will pay for it."
Draco wrapped his arms around Blaise, who hugged him back.
"We got you, Dray," Blaise whispered.
Draco cried into his shoulder. Theo and Daphne mumbled their support, too. Draco could tell they were crying. He really didn't deserve them. He couldn't have asked for better friends. Draco finally let go and stared into Blaise's eyes.
"You're okay, see? I'm going to go get you some dinner, so you can get your bearings... and continue that asshole's homework."
"Thanks."
"I'll come with you," Daphne offered and kissed Draco on his head. "We'll be back, Draco. We love you, know you? Don't ever forgive that."
He nodded and Blaise and Daphne left.
Theo wiped his eyes and sat down on his bed facing him. "You sure that you don't want help, Draco?"
Draco turned around to look at him. "No, but are you okay, Theo?"
His friend couldn't hide the fact that he still cried himself to sleep most nights, too, especially after they had Defense Against the Dark Arts. He was a wreck.
"Draco, you don't need to worry about me."
"Of course, I worry about you, Theo. You were hurt, too."
"Not hurt... physically, anyway."
"You did what you had to do, Theo. Your father would have been proud. He wanted you to survive."
"And I spent a year trying to be invisible while the Carrows and the two minions tortured you. Draco... you're the one who hugged me as soon as we got to school last year. You pulled me into the bathroom and drew it out of me. Blaise was there, too. But it still was you, who had gone through so much shit and put me first. You don't know how much that meant to me. And Blaise? Do you know how closed-off and alone he was when he first came here? You're the one who got him to open up. Why do you think he's so loyal to you? And you know what you did for Daphne. Don't think for one second that you are inconveniencing us. We all owe you."
Draco grimaced. "You don't owe me anything. I didn't mean... it's not that...."
"Draco... it's not about debt, it's about love and friendship. We'll do anything for you. You're my family, now."
"You're my brother... Theo. I'm honored to have you guys as my family."
Theo came over and hugged him. "We're going to be okay, one day."
"Yeah... one day," Draco grunted and Theo let him return to his work.
After fifteen minutes, Blaise came in laughing and carrying a plate. He set it on the desk.
"What happened?"
"Oh, the headmistress heard what that asshole said to me and he is currently writing 1000 lines of 'I will not make homophobic comments or I will be expelled'."
"Really?" Draco actually smiled.
"Yep. He's doing them in the Great Hall, too. She really wants it to be clear that bullying won't be allowed."
"I wonder who told her?" Theo asked.
"Besides Wonder Girl? But I'm pretty sure I saw that Keith was ready to punch his lights out. I may have hooked up with him a few years ago."
"Keith Fawley?" Draco asked.
"Yeah, seventh-year Ravenclaw. There are several... of us here, Dray. It's not just me... and you."
Draco lowered his head. He didn't like talking about it still. He knew it was just the remnants of being terrified that his father would find out. But he had a feeling that although Blaise was out and no one really minded, he would not get the same deference. They would know what position he would be in. He slowly ate his food until Blaise announced it was time for their evening classes.
"I can't believe you took Home Economics," Blaise said, as they stopped at a door just off the kitchens. There were several workstations inside, filled with vegetables and kitchen utensils.
"It sounded fun."
"Well, I'm pretty sure that none of the eighth-year guys will be in there. I just can't picture Smith holding a spatula. So, just don't leave the classroom and I'll come down to get you."
Draco nodded, not bothering to get embarrassed anymore by his protectiveness. Blaise said to wait here. He was going to comply. Of course, the small dose of Calming potion he just took assisted with his easy-going compliance. He picked a table away from the door and near the front of class. I didn't want to look at his classmates. There were spells already on the board that Draco did not recognize. The classroom slowly filled, mostly with seventh-year females. The only eighth years were Pansy, who sat far away from him, Sue Li, Sally Smith, and the Parvati sisters. None of the students sat next to him. He was thoroughly relieved by that.
"What's he doing here?"
"Why? He's a boy!"
"My mom will flip if she hears the Death Eater is in my class."
Draco tried to tune out the chatter. He was the only guy in the class. Shit, Harry was right. At least, he wouldn't be beaten to a pulp, though he was surely going to be mocked for it.
"I think we are all here. I am Professor Vestia," announced a plump, short witch. She did a scan of the class and noticed Draco.
"Are you in this class... dear?" she asked, clearly not expecting a boy in her class.
"Yes, ma'am," he said and there were patronizing giggles from all around. A few of the girls squeezed, too. Daphne's spell was still working.
"Oh... I see. What's your name?"
"Draco Malfoy," he said and the professor jolted as she recognized his name. Her eyes went wide and then narrowed.
"Well, I'm not sure why you're here. This class is traditionally is for young girls to learn how to manage and upkeep a home. Surely, this doesn't apply to you! Are you sure you want this class?"
"Yes," he said, slightly embarrassed. He had been looking forward to this class.
"That's just... I've never! This is just strange. I think it not proper that you... I don't think you can sta-"
Draco dropped his head defeated, but the classroom door opened and Harry walked in. Draco locked eyes with him, immediately. Harry grimaced at the pained expression on his face, but he turned to the professor, who definitely recognized him on sight.
"Oh, Mr. Potter! How wonderful to see you! Are you lost?" she said, fawning over him.
"Not anymore," he said, with a smirk.
"I'm sorry. This is home economics," she started, confused.
"Yes, that's why I'm here. Sorry, I got a little lost. I never been to this classroom," Harry said, like there was no issue.
"No, this is home economics, honey. You don't need to learn this...."
"Yes, I do. I like cooking, so I signed up for the class."
"But you don't need it. Surely, you can find someone who will cook for you!"
Harry grimaced, now realizing what argument he had walked into. "No, I like to cook. I don't really fancy having someone else do everything for me. If I kept that kind of attitude, no one would have killed Voldemort."
The professor squeaked at the name and Harry declared the argument done. Several of the students made room for him at their table, but Harry took the seat next to Draco. Harry gave him a smile as discreetly as he could knowing that people were watching them.
Professor Vestia was still huffing about having two male students in her class, but went over the spells on the board. "All right these are simple washing and prepping spells for vegetables, including peeling, removing seeds and different slicing spells."
"Oh, thank Merlin! I never want to peel a potato, again," Harry muttered.
Draco snickered and the professor gave him a look. They spent the first hour trying the spells on the every kind of vegetable possible. Draco had some difficulty getting his wand to cooperate. He sometimes resorted to using his core to complete the spell. When everyone had sliced and diced their vegetables, the professor summoned a house elf to take them to the kitchen to be used for meals.
Then she spent the second hour going over budgeting and deciding how much you can use each month. "You should list your needs and wants under two different columns. Needs are things you must have. Rent, food, and sometimes clothing. Wants are things that make your life comfortable, but you can function without them." She gave them an exercise of a list of items to sort by needs and wants. She assigned a monetary value to each item and gave them 25 galleons to spend in a month for a four-person home.
Draco, though skilled in Arithmancy, found the problem challenging. She did not say how much the food budget was. Rent was not on the list. The food budget was the key to a correct budget.
"Professor?"
"Yes, Mr. Malfoy?" she said, her nostrils flaring.
"What is the ratio between muggle money and galleons?"
"Why would you ask that?"
"I... just want to know."
"About 40 to 50 pounds to a galleon, but it changes."
Draco nodded and glanced at Harry, who smiled again. Draco went hard at work. Harry had spent near 100 pounds on groceries the first time and 50 the second. That was for three people for two weeks. Draco grimaced when he realized that the food budget was more expensive than anything else. He also was subconsciously realizing how much Harry had spent on him. Draco fixed the budget at half for food, and the rest for travel expenses, work supplies, clothes and a small amount to savings.
The professor want around the classroom inspecting the budgets and making suggestions. When she came to his, she nodded impressed. "You assigned a rather high amount to food. More than anyone else."
"Yes, ma'am," Draco said, unsure where this would go.
"Interesting that you're also the only one who didn't use all their budget."
"Yes, ma'am," he said, lowering his eyes.
"Very good," she said and went to the front of class. "Generally, food will always be the biggest expense, unless you inherited money or are able to secure a good job. If you leave school with little prospects and bad grades, you can expect to start off at an entry-level job making less than a galleon a day. Mr. Potter, how many galleons could one earn in one month on that salary?"
"Umm... 30 galleons?" Harry said.
"That is correct. I gave you a budget of 25 to work with, stipulating that rent was already included. Who wants to know how many galleons rent usually is? It's between 8 and 15 galleons. If that doesn't leave you with a sobering thought, I don't know what will. This will be your budget when you leave school for generally half of you. So, I expect you should concentrate on improving your grades or your reputation."
Draco lowered his head. That was his path, minimum wage.
"Class dismissed."
Draco slowly packed his things. Harry wasn't moving much faster. When the class had cleared out and Harry came closer.
"Surprise?" Harry said, smiling.
"No, kidding. Did you really just take the class because I was taking it?" Draco asked, returning a half-smirk.
"Not just... I couldn't miss a chance to learn how to cook with you. I wasn't going to leave you to the crows, either. Come on, I already told Blaise I'd take you back to our dorm."
"When?"
"I ran into him on the way to class. I really didn't know where it was."
"We better get back. I still have to finish Defense Against the Dark Arts and McGonagall's homework."
"Yeah, homework sounds good. But how's everything else?"
"Is that you trying to ask how I'm doing?"
"I guess you could say that," Harry said, as they walked. But Draco didn't want to talk about it.
"I can't talk about everything, Harry. You know I can't."
"I know it doesn't mean I don't worry."
"Thank you for coming this morning."
"Anytime, Draco. I'm serious. I don't care about anything else, right now. You are my priority."
"Don't say that Harry. You have to graduate and make-up with your friends. On that note... how'd it go with Ron?"
"It's been awkward, all day. I don't want to talk about it. I didn't mean to tell him about it all. He just said the wrong thing and it came out."
"It'll get easier, alright? He's trying to talk to you, Harry. You can talk to him. He's your friend."
"He hurt you," Harry said and they stopped in the middle of the hallway.
"He didn't touch me," Draco said.
"No, he threw you to the wolves and laughed about it."
"I'm fine with it. It's what I told Blaise, he's not hurting me. I wasn't looking to him for a rescue. You think I would have done it, if our roles were reversed? You can't fault him, when I'm just as culpable."
"I don't know, Draco. Would you be fine if Blaise or Theo started harassing me? Let me get beaten to a pulp?"
Draco started walking again. "No."
"We aren't first and second year students anymore. I'm not going to pretend we are. The past is behind us... it's all over and done with."
"It doesn't help that you aren't being upfront with Ron, either."
"You want me to tell him.... about us?" Harry whispered looking around for eavesdroppers.
"No... not really... but you aren't telling him the truth. He knows it. He doesn't like it."
"Well... I don't know how to fix that. I've told as much as I can without breaking your trust, Draco."
"You can tell him... anything," Draco said, beating down the fear that was creeping up on him.
Harry made him stop again and turned him to face him. "Why are you saying this?"
"He needs to understand."
"You're scared, Draco. I can tell. You don't want people, especially someone who's actively hating you, to know your secrets. You're doing this for me."
"Yes... you're important to me. You miss Ron. I can handle him knowing. It's not an issue."
"Yes, it is. You're almost shaking. I'm not going to hurt you, just because it'll make it easier or more difficult to talk to my asshole friend. Drop it."
"Yes, Harry," Draco said, automatically as a trained response.
Harry lifted his head and stared at him, wide-eyed, like he understood exactly what happened. Draco lowered his eyes. "Oh, Draco. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. You can always talk to me about anything. I'm sorry."
Harry reached out and pulled him into a hug. He murmured apologies in his ear.
"It's okay. I'm okay. Your anger is a part of you, like my obedience is mine. It's not going to disappear."
Harry pulled back to stare at him. Draco turned his eyes away after that small confession. Harry put his hand on Draco's face to bring it back to Harry's. Close... so close... again. He could feel Harry's ragged breaths on his lips. Draco couldn't move. He wanted Harry to just respond, to make the move. Harry wanted to. Draco could see that. Please, just do it, he pleaded internally. He just wanted him to make the decision for him.
But Harry didn't. He let go and put his forehead on Draco's. "I'll wait for you, Draco. I'll always wait for you."
Harry pulled away much too soon and took his hand, pulling him gently along. Draco was in a daze the whole way back. Luckily, no one ran into them. He walked into his room and briefly dispensed with the inane teasing from Blaise and hopped into the shower.
Why didn't he just kiss him, though? Why did Harry have to do it? There was no doubt in this mind that he wanted it to happen, but he was stuck in this weird limbo. Kiss or not kiss him? Get together or stay apart? Draco couldn't answer these questions. Harry would be better off without him, but it was clear that he wasn't going anywhere. It was only a matter of time before people noticed that they were friends. Was it even possible it hide it anymore?
Draco looked at his pale reflection in the mirror, his eyes tracing his new scar on his brow. Ironic that it was in the same place as Harry's, though he had gotten it from a completely different set of circumstances, not from a prison step.
He didn't want to deny Harry anymore. It was going to happen eventually. Harry was adamant about that. Short of Draco ordering him to leave him alone, Harry would wait it out for Draco to get over whatever insecurities he had. How could Draco keep refusing him? Harry was unbelievably kind and patient. Did his reasons really matter when faced with all that?
Through it all, the real question was, what the hell was he waiting for?
Sorry for the long delay in updating... absolute crazy amount of overtime and also getting ready for Christmas. I get like 4 hours of sleep a night. I fall asleep writing every time I sit down. I'm surprised I haven't face planted into the computer, yet. It's the longest time since August that I haven't updated. But hopefully everything will calm down. It also didn't help that I rewrote the chapter a few times. It's too jumpy for my own liking, but I'm not going to edit it forever.
I do have some of 36 written, already though. So that's a plus.
Happy Christmas and New Year, as I doubt I'll post by Tuesday next. But I could get a Christmas "miracle" and get more time to write and hopefully sleep.