Jacks p.o.v:
I had a lump in my throat I could not swallow.
She quickly pulled her arm away once she noticed me stare. I stood still in silence but as soon as I went to walk towards her she ran upstairs. I went after her saying her name, she was about to lock herself in her bedroom but I managed to put my foot in the way.
"You don't need to run Lola" I whispered holding her shoulders, she was about to say something but slipped down the wall crying, sobbing.
Fuck. This broke my heart, I had a pain in my chest as I stared at her head in her hands.
I knew she had some struggles but never did it cross my mind she took it out on herself like this.
I knelt down in-front of her and took her hands in mine "you're going to be ok, I will be here to help you" I whispered to her.
I wasn't sure how long we sat there but as she started to calm down I took her hands and led her to the bed so we sitting on the edge. She wiped her eyes and looked at me "I am so sorry" she mumbled "you have nothing to be sorry for Lola" I said tilting her chin up while she tried to flash a sad smile "you know you don't have to act ok around me I'm not going to judge you, I just want to help you" I looked into her eyes as I wiped her never ending tears.
I held her hands in mine, moving her hair out of her face, "don't answer this if you don't want to, but why, why do you do it?" she sighed as I rubbed small circles on her hands "yes, sometimes other people say things, but honestly it is me, I am my own worst enemy" she said "when did you start?" I asked moving my hand on her thigh, I felt her jolt under me as I caressed her thigh "I was about 13 when I first done it, I did stop but it's like an addiction and when everything came crashing down it just seemed a norm, but I haven't done it since the first day of school. I was in a bad place, Parkers one little word just gave me a reason to punish myself. Fuck I hate how pathetic I sound" she looked down at her lap "you know you can talk to me whenever, about anything, I'll always be there for you. I can't stand the thought of you thinking you deserve this. There is nothing pathetic Lola, don't think like that, please" she smiled, well tried to, before jumping to her feet, she looked so pale and exhausted "no one knows about it, please..." I cut her off "Lola, it can be another one of our secrets, but please just promise me babe, you come to me when you have these thoughts, the urge, I will be there for you anytime" I stood up pulling her into an embrace "I promise" she whispered.
"Do you want me to order some pizza, you have nothing in?" I asked standing up from her couch "I'm not really hungry" she replied "well I will order some and and make sure there is some for you" I reached for my phone, and gave her a little smile.
I paid the delivery girl and she couldn't stop checking me out, only fair to give her a cheeky wink isn't it? "Wow" Lola muttered rolling her eyes "what? can't help it if I am irresistible" she shook her head as he giggled, seeing her smile creates this warm feeling I have never felt before "don't get jealous" I added "calm down, lover boy" I love her little sarcasm and whit.
I hate the thought of having to leave her, I just always want to be around her.
It was getting late but I needed to get some stuff from mine, it was a given that I was going to stay around again. I left hers quickly and I did try to get her to come with but she just wanted to relax and told me to 'chill, I can handle being alone for 40 minutes'.
Happy she can, because I sure as hell was struggling to be.
Lola p.o.v:
Anxiety. Relief. Fear. Warmth. Anger. Protected. Terrified
I don't know what I am feeling right now but my heart is racing.
As he comforted me I felt a minor sense of relief, I didn't have to hide this secret anymore; but I am nervous for him to see me as something fragile that needs wrapping up in bubble wrap at the smallest sign of struggle, like I can break at any moment.
I wasn't mad or sad that he found out but I just didn't want this to change anything. I don't want him being around just because he feels he has to.
As Jack left I ran a hot bath to try and relax after today, it was eventful at minimum.
I was creating a little set up downstairs for us to watch something. I turned my fairly lights on and lit some candles and poured the snacks Jack got into some bowls.
This would be a cute date night...
I was cut off from my thoughts by the sound of Jack clearing his throat "Lola stop checking me out" I may have also been in a little trance looking at his shirtless torso but I am only human after all.
"I wasn't checking you out, stop flattering yourself" he smirked as he got me and him a beer "definitely fancy me" I slapped him on the shoulder as he made his little smug comment. Of course I fancy him; but I am not boosting his ego anymore. "You're choosing the film beautiful" he covered us with a blanket as he sat down "you sure you want to agree to that?" I raised my brows and he smiled "wouldn't say it otherwise" I smiled at his response.
Normally I would call it cocky or cliche but this time I felt like he genuinely just wanted me to feel comfortable, if that makes sense?
I slowly felt my eyes feeling heavy as I rested my head on his shoulder "goodnight, beautiful" before I could respond to his whisper my eyes closed and he put his arm around me.
As I slowly opened my eyes and checked my phone to see it was 11am, I never sleep in these days but my body feel like it needed it after yesterday.
Wait. Didn't I fall asleep downstairs, like two floors downstairs?
I made my way downstairs to find Jack in the kitchen "morning, how long have you been up?" I asked as he passed me a coffee "since about 8" I grabbed some fruit from the fridge "why didn't you wake me, and how did I even get up there" he smiled before sipping his drink "you deserved some rest, also the sleep fairy carried you upstairs" I rolled my eyes and he chuckled "what?" I asked pouring a water "just that little eye roll" he responded and I had to stop myself doing it again "you just annoy me" he mirrored me, rolling his eyes at me "dont ever do that to me again. Anyway, change of subject but half 8 tonight?" I nodded as he finished his drink "I need to go meet the boys" I saw the tiredness in his eyes "have them here if you like, I need to go see the girls anyway" he nodded in agreement as I stood up "oh and Jack, please get some sleep" we smiled at each other before I went to get ready.
I opted for some denim shorts and a graphic tee before shoving my hair in a clip with some basic makeup. "See you soon, do you need anything?" I asked Jack as he woke up on the sofa "just you home soon as" I let out a small laugh at his reply "I am not really in the mood anyway but I promised the girls and I need to get out" I said grabbing my keys "just text me if you want me to get you, try have a good time baby" I smiled and said goodbye.
I halted as I got to my drive 'did he just call me baby?'
"Hey" I said getting in the back of Billies car "what time did Jack leave last night?" Abbie asked "hello to you too" I mumbled "he's still there, think the boys are going round" Billie performed an emergency break causing my head and the head restraint to make painful contact "that is like the third time he's stayed there, and now he is making himself at home?" Sam widened her eyes said "nothing has happened, you know I would of told you"
Thats a lie. I love them but them girls gossip more about people love life than a 2000s magazine.
"We know that, and yes it is typical, but we know what he's like and we don't want you getting hurt" Abbie looked at me in the mirror "I know but you don't need to worry because nothing is going to happen" the girls exchanged a look before I switched the topic to discussing their love lives; correction Abbies 'situation-ship' with the hockey captain.
About 20 minutes later we met Jess and her brother Nick so he could give us the drink, on the cheap.
He was a good looking guy, blonde with blue eyes and was dressed in all grey tracksuit; but he isn't Jack is he?
Why did you just think that?
Me and the girls found some outfits and all opted for a body con style dress. I picked a black thin strap dress with a low cut neckline and a new oversized denim Jacket. As noted previously I hate having my arms out.
"Fucking stupid thing" I mumbled, swearing at a particular internet speaker that never listens. I manually turned it up before returning to complete my pink and shimmery eyeshadow. I curled my hair and once I had chosen my jewelry and lack boots, I decided to make my way downstairs to Jack.
I came into the kitchen to see him lifting a drink to his lips before he stopped "You look..." he bit his lip "fucking gorgeous" I let out a small laugh before he walked closer and cupped my cheek in his hands "you are so beautiful" he barely whispered as we looked into each other's eyes and I could feel my cheeks heat up. I cleared my throat as I stepped back "you are not looking to bad yourself, handsome" I said leaning against the counter. He had gone for some black jeans and a black top which hugged his muscles, and white trainers. "You ready to have a good time?" he asked grabbing some cups "I can't wait to just have fun" at that the gate bell rang soon everyone had appeared for pre-drinks.
I was hoping this party would be a success and I could enjoy feeling happy whilst it lasted.
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