[105]
[Jennie]
In a drunken rage, my father threw a vase my way but I didn't dare flinch because I knew if I did, my weakness would just earn more punishment.
"Jennie, all you are is a.." he hiccuped in between sentences, "disappointment to the family,"
He sat back in the leather chair, chugging down almost a whole bottle of Moscato, "I know you can't help being the second born's daughter, but at least be born a fucking alpha,"
My hands were by my side, pinching my thighs with all of the grip strength a seven year old could have. Once all of the liquid anger was gone from the bottle, he looked back at me and then at my mother who was standing beside me, shaking pitifully.
"And you, how in the fucking world can you give birth a beta when we're both pure alphas?" He then pulled back his arm and threw the bottle at my mother, the glass breaking against her small body. Her face only reflected some pain but I knew from the blood that ran against her bare, trembling thigh that her teeth were clenched, holding back the tears from flowing down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry, honey," he muttered, her eyes closed and her hands holding each other tightly in front of her.
"I bet she isn't even my child!" He exclaimed, chuckling slightly, "That's what it is!"
His eyes filled with hatred turned towards me, "You are no child of mine, you disgusting beta,"
I didn't veer away from his look, my eyes reflecting the same emotion of hatred. Not just for him, but for all alphas in the world.
He sat up from the black leather chair once the faint noise of a his phone began to sound through the house. His large dress shoes on the floor made loud clicks every time he took a step. His steps got quieter and quieter until I couldn't even hear them anymore. After a few seconds of complete silence, my mother fell to the floor, her black hair covering her cheeks that I knew were tear stained. I rushed to her and held her arms, "Mommy?"
She sniffled quietly, "Jennie, I'm sorry,"
She refused to look at me and kept her eyes to the dark hard wood, "I'm so sorry,"
•••
"What do you mean?" Asked Taehyung with confusion lacing his voice.
I held the phone close to my ear, "This mission is impossible for me, I can't do it,"
Taehyung went silent. I've never been unable to do a mission from him, nor have I ever declined a mission from him, "Can you explain why?"
Remembering the woman, I remembered her scent. Although hypnotizing, it was impossible to overlook the dominance and power that was withheld in her pheromones. She may be my mate, but first and foremost, she's an alpha.
I didn't want to respond because it was like I was admitting how useless and weak I am but Taehyung sighed, interrupting my thoughts, "Okay, well, if you ever need to talk or something, I'm here. I'll just get someone else to do the mission for me. Thank you, Jennie,"
I could hear the small smile in his voice that would always reassure me of our lifelong friendship.
"I'm sorry,"
"Don't be," he responded, "I'm not your master and you're not my slave,"
I nodded although he couldn't see it, "Thank you,"
"No problem, cuz,"
After those three words, I pressed the red button to hang up the call, putting the phone back in my pocket.
[Lisa]
I smiled before the press, the flashing lights enough to give someone a seizure but being in so many situations such as this my whole life has prepared me for blinding cameras. Around five to ten men stood around the stage that we were perched on for the media and public to see, protecting us from any ravenous rumor makers. Jungkook, with a clean, white bandage over the cut on his neck and a fresh new suit, stood beside me but a relatively good amount of distance between us.
"Mr. Jeon Jungkook! Where were you at the time of death?!" Screamed a feisty reporter from somewhere in the crowd.
"I was with my fiancée," he responded with a somber tone, not looking at anyone in particular.
"Before the wedding?!"
"Yes," I replied for him, "we were talking about how this wedding will not be carried out,"
Gasps came around the room and the flashes from the cameras became even more profusely. The shock that was in the room was tangible by those who gossiped with the one next to them.
"I, Lalisa Manoban, back out of this marriage with Jeon Jungkook by my own accord,"
The murmurs in the room got louder and louder.
"Does this have anything to do with the death of Jeon Yein?!" Screamed one reporter.
"When did you decide on this?!" Screamed another.
"No, this has nothing to do with Jeon Yein, and we've been discussing the topic of our marriage for a few weeks," I lied through a small, petite smile.
[author's notes]
Self love.
Self love is something I seriously lack as a human being. Ever since I was a little girl, my family has pressured me about the numerous amounts of surgeons who could better my looks or insensitively point out every insecurity I had.
"Oh, if you just fix your nose.."
"Your boobs could be bigger.."
"You're too fat.."
Even now, I feel inadequate for my family based on by looks. My self confidence has depleted extremely because of this and I'm terrified to step on a scale or look in the mirror.
But I'm currently trying to better myself by spreading love to others. Of course, no one is perfect and no one will ever be, but that is the essence of humanity.
I love you guys and I don't think you guys know how much I appreciate you nor how much of an effect you guys have on my life.
I just wanted to remind you guys that you make me so happy not just as an author, but as an antisocial girl without any type of skill besides some intellect.