Smiles are like Band-Aids. They cover up the pain, but it still hurts.
"I missed you," Jake says to me.
"I missed you too," I say smiling up at him. We were sitting on a park bench. It was a sunny day and everyone was outside walking their dogs or playing on the swings or something. "Where are the boys?" I ask, realizing that 0/5 of One Direction are anywhere to be seen. Claire was on the playground.
"Who cares?" He sounded angry suddenly. "He didn't tell you he was leaving!"
"You can't trust him, Lex," Austin suddenly walks up.
"Don't trust him," Jake agrees. Suddenly I feel like everyone around me is telling me not to trust him. Everyone at the park gathers and tells me 'not to trust him'. Even my parents show up, smiling at me. Jake was there too. Everyone I knew was there and they were all repeating the same thing. Don't trust him. He lied. Sort of. He with-held important information.
"Stop!" I yell, getting up and running. They were all like zombies. Even after I got away from everyone I could still hear their voices echoing around me. Don't trust him.
I open my eyes and hug my knees to my chest. Don't trust him. I could see Niall outside on his own balcony through my window. He was staring at the ground and I was careful to make sure he didn't see me. I sigh and walk over to my guitar case. Quietly strumming The Only Exception by Paramore. I try to make sure it's not heard from outside. Even though Niall probably can assume I'm awake I really don't feel up to talking to him tonight. I don't cry. The first night in a long time. I just stay awake and play music.
Suddenly, around 2:30 AM, I hear a knock on my balcony door. I jump and turn around to see Niall peeking through the window. I frown. Since I keep the door locked (afraid of someone breaking in like three years ago) he wasn't able to open the door. I put my guitar on its stand and go to open it for him.
"Hi," I say quietly when I come face to face with him. I don't go outside and I don't move for him to come in. We stand there, each on a different side of the threshold. His hands are shoved in the pockets of his sweat jacket and he's in his pajama pants.
"Can we talk?"
"About what?" I cross my arms, something I do when my guard is up. He looks at me for a while with a begging look in his eyes. I sigh, roll my eyes, and walk out onto the balcony with him, shutting the door behind me.
"I'm sorry."
"For what Niall? Did you just forget to mention that you guys were all leaving for so long on tour? After everything that I told you about my life and everything I trusted enough to share and you can't even tell me that you have a tour! It's not like you didn't get a chance! I mean any of those nights when I was pouring out everything on my mind to you would have been an acceptable time. I'm sure you knew about this before you invited me and Claire to live here. She's going to be crushed when you guys leave." I rant on.
"Come with us," he says, interrupting my lecture.
"What?"
"You and Claire. Come on tour with us. If you guys can each a share a room with one of us then it won't cost anything extra and management should be okay with it." I think about this.
"Are you sure that it won't be any trouble or extra cost for Claire and I to come?" I ask, unsure. Niall nods.
"If you want to come then I just have to check with management really quick and it's done. I'm sure they will agree." I bite my lip. After a few moments I go up to hug him.
"Okay. I'll come." I felt bad for being so angry with him before. "Thank you. But why didn't you tell me? Seriously, I trusted you with...a lot....and you couldn't tell me about your tour." It still sort of annoyed me that he waited so long when he had so many opportunities to mention it.
"I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner but when you were crying I felt that telling you I was leaving wouldn't exactly make you feel better. Forgive me?"
I smile and nod, hugging him again.
~~~~~~~~~
"So, wait...you're going on their tour?" I chuckle at Austin's confusion.
"Yes. Niall checked with management and they said it was alright. We leave tomorrow."
"That's cool, but be careful.," he warns.
"How many times have you told me that?"
"Sorry. I just don't want you getting hurt."
"I know. How's the job?" I ask.
"Not fun. What can I do though? I guess it's not that bad. It's paying better than it was before. Long hours pay off." I feel bad that Austin has to work so hard all the time. His job has longer hours than mine and he also works more days at a lot harder of a job. It's definitely not ideal.
"Sorry to hear that. Is everything okay with the house selling?"
"I took care of it. We got the best offer we could get on a house in such poor condition, but it's not much. But keep in mind now, we don't have a house to go back to. If I lose this job I basically have nowhere to go."
I sigh. "I know. Just hang in there. I actually have to go. I'm at work right now and Uncle Dave will yell at me any second. Talk later?"
"Sure thing. Bye Lex. Don't give up," he tells me.
"Don't give up. Bye Austin." I hang up and tuck my cell phone away, getting back to work.
"Did I hear that right?" Rebecca asks, staring at me.
"You were eavesdropping, weren't you?" I ask, crossing my arms.
"You're right there for crying out loud! It's hard not to hear you! Are you going on tour with One Direction?!" I smile and nod. "That's insane. You obviously have the best job in the world right now. All I do is print pictures and get coffee for people. You get to become BFF's with celebrities."
I laugh. "I don't think of them as celebrities. I think of them as my friends now. It's kind of strange." I think about it for a moment. "Speaking of the tour, have you seen Dave?"
"I think he's in his office working on something, why?"
"Well, I need to take some time off obviously." I smile and get up to find him.
~~~~
"Louis stop standing on the chairs," Liam orders as we wait to board the plane. Plenty of fans had shown up and security was there to block them from the boys. Louis took it upon himself to stand up on his seat and wave to them since they weren't allowed to sign and take pictures.
When I asked Uncle Dave for a few months off for the tour he agreed. Of course he didn't go down without a fight though. There were a few conditions. He asked if I would have access to a computer. When I said yes he told me that he would be emailing pictures to me for editing and that when I was finished with them I should send them to Rebecca and she would handle it from there. He also mentioned that my pay would be reduced majorly for the next couple of months until I got back. Of course, I wasn't happy about this. But I couldn't blame him for cutting back my pay. I wouldn't be doing as much work as I normally would on an average day in the studio, so it makes sense in the end. Of course, it still wasn't a good thing.
"Flight 677 boarding now," says a voice on the intercom.
"That's us," Niall says. We grab our bags and walk to the gate. Taking our seats in First Class I sit next to Liam and Niall. Claire sits between Louis and Harry across from me and Zayn sits next to Harry. I plug in my headphones and listen to ‘The Sun Will Rise’ by Kelly Clarkson. I tap shuffle and eventually fall asleep on our way to New York.
~~~
"So...I got the keys. There's five rooms. Who's bunking with who?" Zayn asks as he walks over.
"I wanna be in the same room with Boo Bear!" Claire says smiling. I bite my lip and look at Louis as Zayn tosses him and Claire each a key to the room.
"Lou...be careful. Please?" I beg. He smiles.
"I wouldn't let anything happen to her, Lex. If you want, you and Claire could share a room and I'll bunk with Harry," he offers.
Claire gives me puppy dog eyes, clearly still wanting to room with her favorite member of One Direction. I sigh.
"No. That's fine. She can stay with you," I worriedly give in.
I'm protective of my little sister. I don't like to let her out of my sight. I can trust Louis to take care of her though, right? I mean, after all, I'm only one room away if something goes wrong. Besides, I'm sure she'll have more fun bunking with Louis. It's like putting two kids together.
"Who are you gonna bunk with?" Liam asks me. I think about this. It makes the most sense to room with Niall. He's the one I'm closest to out of all the guys. And he's the reason I can get back to sleep after my nightmares.
"I guess I'll room with Niall," I say smiling. He smiles back. We get our keys and go upstairs to our rooms. When we walk in I drop my stuff and immediately see a problem.
"There's only one bed," I say out loud.
"Yeah, I see that," Niall chuckles. I bite my lip. "I'll sleep on the couch, don't worry," he says. I frown.
"No you won't. It's your room. I'm just staying in it. You take the bed."
"Lexi I-"
"Niall, no. Take. The. Bed. I'll sleep on the couch."
He frowns at me.
"Why are you stubborn?" he asks.
"Because you shouldn't have to sleep on the couch because I'm here."
"Then I'll sleep on the floor."
"Then I'll sleep in the hall," I argue. He raises an eyebrow. "Just take the bed you pain in the ass," I say, playfully rolling my eyes.
"Nope!" He runs and jumps, landing on the couch. "My couch! Your bed!" I groan. "One of us has to give in at some point. Might as well give in now."
"How about this. I'll room with you at every hotel and we can take turns. This time, since you're being so damn stubborn about this, I'll take the bed. Next time you take the bed. Deal?" I suggest. He smiles and nods. "But promise me that next time you'll take the bed?"
"Sure, Lex. Next time you can sleep on the couch if you really want to." He gives me an innocent smile and something tells me that he actually won't let me sleep on the couch next time but whatever. "It's getting late. Go to sleep." I check the clock and see it's almost eleven. I sigh and grab pajamas, heading to the bathroom to change. I climb into the bed and hug tight to my stuffed tiger.
"Goodnight Lexi."
"Goodnight Niall." I turn off the light and shut my eyes.
"I'm sorry Lexi!" Niall pleads to me. His face looked sad. All the boys were behind me and Claire was hiding behind my leg. "Please forgive me!" I was so confused.
"Why are you sorry? What did you do?" I ask him, having no idea what was going on.
"I'm sorry!" He keeps apologizing. Austin was there too. Standing off to the side with an angry look on his face. He glared at Niall with a look of disgust. Walking over to me, Austin leads me away from the boys. He takes Claire by the hand and puts his arm protectively around my shoulder, guiding us to his car.
"Wait, no! Where are we going?!" I ask, trying to turn back around. Austin wouldn't let me.
"He can't be trusted. You're coming back to live with me."
"No! Austin! Let me go! What did Niall do?! I want to stay!" I beg, struggling against his grasp. "I'm happy here! Please!" He kept pulling me away. "Niall!" I start to call for him. "Niall!" I try again. He just sits on the ground, his hands covering his face as he cries. He looks up and watches me leave.
"I'm so sorry," he says again.
"Niall!" When he doesn't make an effort to move I call for the other boys. "Liam! Harry! Louis! Zayn! Liam, please! I want to stay!"
I still try to fight my brother’s grasp but I'm unable to move. No one does anything to help me. They just watch me go with a look of regret written on their faces. I let a tear roll down my cheek as my brother drives me away.
"Lexi!" I hear Niall call. He sounded close even though by now the car is halfway down the street. "Lexi!"
"Lexi!" Niall shakes me awake. I open my eyes and see him looking at me worriedly.
"What? What's going on?" I ask.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine why?"
"You were freaking out. You were calling my name and the other boys too. You kept thrashing around and stuff." He looked concerned.
"I was?" I ask confused. He nods. "I am so sorry! Did I wake you up? Oh my god I didn't know that I did that in my sleep..."
He shakes his head.
"You didn't wake me up. I was already awake. Everything's fine. No need to be sorry." I release a sigh of relief. "Are you sure you're okay?" He sits down on the edge of my bed. I nod.
"I'm fine really."
"What was your dream about? You kept calling for me and the lads." I bite my lip and take a deep breath before speaking.
"Austin tried to take me and Claire away from you and the boys. You kept apologizing to me, but no one would tell me what for," I admit. He thinks this over, probably not sure how to respond.
"I can promise you that will never happen in real life," he whispers. I wanted to tell him not to make promises he can't keep.
How can he know what the future holds? How does he know that he won't make a huge mistake that might possibly cause my protective brother to ship me and my sister off to California with him?
He doesn't know. No one knows. And no one is going to know until the future.
"Thank you," is all I think to say.
After that conversation Niall sang to me. It took longer for me to get to sleep than it normally would because I couldn't stop thinking. I thought about the dream I just had. What was Niall apologizing for? Why wouldn't anyone tell me?
I also noticed something else. I didn't cry afterwards. That's the second night in a row.
AUTHORS NOTE
hi C: opinions? like or no like? what do you think Niall was apologizing for? ;) you might find out later #justsaying. but you might NOT find out if you dont vote and comment and tell me if you like it!! :) So do that stuff and ill write chapter 10 c: bye my poptarts. Love you guys!! <33