happy update!
i hope you all are doing well!
so a lot of you had FEELINGS when it came to my mention of banana ice cream last chapter (but guys it's so good i promise) anyways, comment your favourite ice cream flavour haha im always looking for new ice cream flavours to try
also I'm announcing a contest at the end of the chapter so made sure to read the A/N at the end if you want to participate!
but most importantly...enjoy ;)
—
Over a week had passed since I had found out about Harry joining the military.
We hadn't spoken at all.
I knew eventually we would have to, but I was scared of what would happen when we did.
Would we talk rationally and figure out a plan?
Would we fight and break up?
I didn't know.
But I did know we would have to talk faster than I would be ready to.
For the past week I had been spending time alone, just thinking and doing things that made me feel better.
I went and got a mani/pedi, baked a lot of treats for the staffers, and did some writing and journaling.
And today, I was going to do something I hadn't in a while, ride horses.
I made my way down the halls and to the East wing exit where the car was waiting.
I nodded at the guards before I got in the vehicle alone.
"Can you take me to the country club stables?" I asked the driver and he nodded.
"No Harry with you today, Ms. Winston?" He asked me as he drove.
"Not today." I said.
The journey took awhile, but once we got there I thanked the driver who stayed with the car in the lot while I walked down to the stables.
I greeted Scout and took him out of his stall and to the next one where Honey was.
I tied him up so he could be with Honey and I.
I then took a brush and went to brush out Scouts hair, he always loved when Grayson did it.
I then gave him some carrots and apples as a treat while I moved on to brush out Honey.
I just wanted to spend time with them, I hadn't in so long.
I was brushing out her left side when I heard a noise and looked up to see Harry standing there.
He was wearing jeans and a white tee shirt, his sunglasses in his hair.
"How did you know where I was?" I asked him. I hadn't told anyone besides my driver where I was going.
"Because I know you, Emma." He replied as he took a step closer. "It's been days Emma, can we please talk now?"
"Go ahead." I shrugged and looked away from him as I continued to brush Honey.
"Emma I'm sorry I didn't tell you when I took the job. That was wrong of me, I know that. I never wanted to hurt you. I never want to hurt you, but I just didn't know how to tell you."
I shook my head.
"That's not an excuse, Harry. You don't keep secrets like that."
"I wish I hadn't have kept it from you. And that wasn't the way I wanted you to find out. I wanted it to be on my terms but I didn't know how to say it."
"Feels kind of like deja vu. I believe we had this same conversation after I found out you knew Grayson."
Harry looked down.
"After that you promised me you would never lie to me again. I guess that was a lie too."
I looked away from him.
"I don't know what else to say besides i'm sorry and that I never meant to hurt you." He said.
"Do you not trust me? Is that what it is?" I asked him.
"I trust you."
"Then why? Why do you keep doing this to me?" I turned and yelled at him, looking him in the eye where all I could see was guilt. "Because people who love each other don't do this to each other."
At this point I was about to cry out of anger and Harry saw that so he came forward.
"Emma that's not it at all." He came up and took me in his arms, hugging me.
"Then what is it?" I began to cry.
"I was stupid. There's no excuse. I should have told you."
I nodded.
"I'm so sorry." He apologised again.
Harry let me calm down and once I had we sat on the wooden stools in the stall, his hand holding mine.
"So why the military?" I asked.
He sighed.
"They have found new intel on the people who sabotaged the mission I was on a few years ago, the one with Grayson. We know who was responsible for his death, and we are going to destroy them."
My eyes were still wet with tears as I looked up at him.
"I'm going to make them pay for what they did to Grayson, Emma. I'm not going to let them get away with it."
"So, what about us?" I asked him.
"What do you mean?"
"Are we going to stay a couple or are we going to break up?"
"Emma, I still plan on having a home with you and a life with you, but I want to be in the military, so if you can be a military girlfriend then I don't see a reason for us to not be together."
I nodded.
"So this is really what you want to do?"
"It is." He gave me a small smile. "Working in the White House has been an unforgettable experience and I loved being your bodyguard...but this is where I know I belong and this is what I want."
"Hare, I'll support you no matter what you do, I just wish you would've said something to me."
He nodded.
"It is probably one of the most difficult decisions i've ever had to make." He said. "I had to choose between two things I love."
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and he gave me a half smile.
"You and the military. I knew that if I went back to the military I would have to leave you. But I also new if I didn't, then I wouldn't be the man I'm supposed to be."
"Harry I don't care if you work at the White House, the military or a mechanics shop. I'm going to love you no matter what you do. But I want you to feel comfortable enough with me that if you do decide that you want to be in the military or work on cars for the rest of your life that you can tell me."
"I guess I just didn't want to disappoint you."
I gave him a small smile.
"Emma, I truly never ever want to hurt you, and I knew no matter how I said it or approached the situation, you would be upset with me. But this is something I have to do, not just for me, but for you, for your family, for Grayson."
"Do you know when you're going to leave?" I asked him.
"Not right now. Once there is more intel then we will go."
I nodded my head.
"I know you must have a lot of questions and concerns, and I can't tell you much about what i'll be doing, but if you want to take these two out for a ride we can talk some more and i'll try to answer your questions as best as I can." Harry said, jutting his chin towards the horses.
"Sure." I smiled.
Harry and I saddled up Scout and Honey before hoisting ourselves up on their backs and taking them to the trail.
Harry and Scout kept pace with me and Honey as we made our way down the trail and under the canopy of trees.
"So, are you going back to Afghanistan or what country?"
He gave me a half smile.
"That's one of the things I can't tell you."
"Why don't you tell me what you're allowed to say?" I laughed.
"Okay. Um, I'm part of a team and I am second in command. There will be 12 of us in the unit, and before we leave on our mission we will have special training so that we'll be so ready when we get there that it should go off without a hitch."
"Hopefully it does." I replied.
He gave me a small smile at this.
After spending the afternoon with the horses, Harry and I left the stables and walked up to the lot where I saw my driver and town car I had taken up here had left, and instead my 1965 Mustang was in the lot.
"Why is my car here?" I asked as we walked but he said nothing as we approached it and he pulled the keys from his pocket.
He still said nothing as he went around and opened my door for me so I could get in, and when I did I noticed that there was a packed duffel bag in the back seat.
He closed the door once I sat down and then came around to the drivers side.
"So you stole my car?" I asked him as he put the key in the ignition and he laughed.
"Technically, yes."
He drove out of the stable lot and up the gravel road that led to the country club and then on the main road and in the direction of my family's manor.
"What's in the bag?" I asked.
"Clothes and our toothbrushes." He responded as he turned a corner, his hand gliding over the leather steering wheel. "God, I love this car."
"It's my car." I rolled my eyes playfully making him smile.
When we pulled up to the gate of the manor he typed in the code and then drove us in.
I noticed that there were several secret service agents stationed around the property in different places, one at the front door, and Harry parked the car in the driveway before we got out of the car.
He grabbed the bag and then led us inside and upstairs to my room where he set the bag down on the bed.
"I thought you and I could stay here tonight." He said.
"Sure, just let me call my parents and tell them where I am."
"They know. I got their permission."
"So you had this planned? For how long?"
"Since this morning. I decided I couldn't wait anymore for you to come to me to talk, I had to go to you whether you liked it or not."
I laughed at this.
I unzipped the bag he had packed and looked inside to see he had packed me some clothes too and I pulled them out to see what outfit I would be wearing tomorrow.
He did a surprisingly good job of picking out something for me to wear. He chose jean shorts, a grey tee shirt and my adidas.
"What?" He asked as I set the clothes on the dresser.
"It's just that you picked out my outfit for me. It's kind of funny."
He shook his head.
"Come on, I have dinner for us." He chuckled and I followed him downstairs.
In the kitchen there were take out bags with salad, garlic bread, and lasagna. And to my surprise there was even tiramisu for dessert.
We quietly ate dinner together before going back upstairs where I showered first, and when Harry went to shower I braided my hair back and made sure all of my makeup was off before getting into my bed.
I heard Harry walking down the hall and he came into the room and closed the door behind him, tossing his towel that he was drying his hair with on the floor.
He then got in bed next to me, his arm slipping under my shoulders and let me scoot closer to him.
"I know that this sounds very hypocritical coming from me, especially since I kept this secret from you, but if you do ever want to talk about me joining the military again or ask me questions, you can. I won't get annoyed and I won't lie to you. But I want us to be able to talk openly and i'm going to try to be as open with you as I can."
I nodded my head as I laid there quietly.
He turned off the lamp, and as I stared into the dark room, there was one question that I wanted to ask.
"Are you sacred?" I asked him.
"Of going back into the military?" He asked back and I shook my head yes. "I'm not scared of going back, because I know that's what I need to do, but I am...I don't know if I'd say scared, but I am worried about leaving you."
"You are?"
"Yes." He spoke steadily. "I don't want to leave you. I like being near you because I know you'll be safe, and when i'm gone, I know i'm going to worry about you and if you're being watched the right way and being protected like I would protect you. So I guess if anything, I'm scared of leaving you behind."
I adjusted my head on his chest.
"I know that when I have to go you'll be worried about me, but i'll be worried about you too. And about Mila... your family...I'll worry."
I was silent for a while as I thought about it from his perspective.
He would be leaving his entire life behind so he could fight for the freedom our country was founded upon, and that was truly admirable.
"I'm scared." I whispered.
"Why?" He asked as he brought one hand up to my face, his thumb stroking my cheek.
"Because i'm scared that you'll get hurt or worse. I'm scared of what i'll do if that happens. I'm scared of how i'll make it when you're away on your mission. I'm just scared."
"It's okay to be scared."
His words truly shocked me and I looked up at him in confusion.
"I know. Odd for me to say." He chuckled. "But it's true, and I learned that from you. It's okay to be scared, it means that you care."
I smiled at this and he leaned his head down to attach his lips to mine.
"I love you, Princess."
"I love you too, soldier."
•••
The next day, Harry and I travelled back to the White House.
It was a bit awkward still between us as we walked through the halls, his hand on my back as we approached my fathers office.
He had sent for us as soon as we had arrived and both had the chance to change clothes.
As we turned a corner in the West Wing, I felt Harry's hand brush against the small of my back and then rest on the navy blue satin dress that covered my body.
When we reached the Oval Office, Nancy let us in, and my dad looked up from his desk when he saw us.
"Emma, Harry. Have a seat." He nodded towards the couches.
Harry and I sat down next to each other, and I folded my hands in my lap as I watched my father sit down on the sofa opposite of us.
"I just wanted to follow up with both of you and see how you are. I know that it's been a rough couple days not just for you two but for our entire family." He started and I looked away.
"I've accepted what has happened, but i'm still not happy about it. It's upsetting." I said.
"I understand."
"Except that you knew and you also kept it from me." I fired back at him, but his expression didn't change, he knew this would be my reaction.
"I did. But it was not my place to tell you. However, Emma, I do know how you feel."
"Oh you do?" I asked sarcastically.
"Yes." He nodded. "Because several years ago I had to learn that my son had signed up for the military without talking to me first."
Harry dropped his head slightly while I felt my boldness coming to an end.
"Emma I understand what you're going through, I get it. It's not easy, and honey, it never will be. But when Harry came to me to talk about the job he would be taking, I knew that even though it was going to hurt watching him leave us for a while, he was going for the right reason."
"He doesn't need you to defend him." I said and out of the corner of my eye I saw Harry turn his face away from me.
"Emma Taylor Winston, enough." My dad then said firmly and I froze. "He made a mistake, I'm aware of that. But do not hold this over him. I did that with Grayson and I have regretted it ever since."
At this point I did not know what to do.
Part of me wanted to scream, part of me wanted to punch the pillows and part of me wanted to run out of the room.
But instead, I began to cry.
And it was an ugly cry.
"Emmy." I heard my Dad say as I cried into my hands and then I felt Harry's hand on my back.
But I couldn't stop crying, and minutes later I felt arms wrap around me that I realised to be my mothers.
I moved so I could cry on her shoulder, but felt movement on the couch and then opened my eyes to see Harry leaving the oval office, a very upset look on his face.
My mother consoled me, as my father sat there with his head in his hands.
Once I had calmed down, my dad told me to gather myself and my thoughts and we'd talk later, so I left the oval office with my mom.
"I should go find Harry." I said.
"Okay. Good luck, sweetheart." She hugged me again.
The first place I checked for Harry was his office, but he wasn't there. Then I checked the bedroom he used to stay in at the White House but he wasn't there either.
After checking the media room, kitchen and my bedroom, I didn't know where else to look.
My last guess was outside, so I made my way out to the gardens where as I walked among the rose bushes I found him sitting on one of the benches, playing fetch with Lion and Tiger.
I knew he had to have noticed me, but I didn't say anything, I just sat beside him on the bench.
"You okay?" I asked him.
"No." He replied as he threw the ball for the dogs to chase after. "Are you?"
"No."
He nodded.
"I'm sorry I broke down, but this is just hard to take in and process, and i'm upset. And to be honest i'm probably going to be upset for a long time." I spoke.
He threw the ball for the dogs again.
"I'm angry." He admitted. "I'm mad at myself for lying to you, i'm mad at myself for doing this to you. I want to say screw it and not even go on this mission anymore because all i'm doing is hurting you and i'm pissed at myself for doing this to you...and for doing this to us."
"Harry there's no easy way to deal with this. It's going to hurt no matter what, but I don't want you to no go just because of me. I don't want to be what holds you back. I don't want you to resent me."
"I don't resent you." He looked at me in confusion.
"But if you don't go on this mission then you will, whether you realise it or not."
"But I don't want to hurt you like this." He whispered. "I mean it's killing me Emma, to see you crying because of me."
"Then just promise me you'll come back."
He lifted his head at my words and looked at me.
"Promise me that at the end of your mission, you will be alive and well and will get back on that plane and come back to me."
He stared at me, his eyes wavering just the tiniest bit, but I could see strength behind his eyes too.
"I promise."
—
ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!
soo, what do you think of their talk? is Emma still right to be upset? do you accept Harry's apology?
CONTEST ANNOUNCEMENT TIME!!!
Rules/Info:
for this contest, pick one of the following choices and write a submission on it, you can keep it short and sweet or add as much as you want, it's up to you!
the contest will be open until the book ends, and a winner will be chosen for each category and the submission will be posted at the end of the book along with the epilogues!
here are your choices:
1) write about one of the fights Emma and Harry had, how would you have changed the argument or their reactions?
2) write a poem or song about Emma and Harry's relationship/story?
3) if 24/7 were a movie, what would you add or change to it? how would the movie differ from the book?
these submissions can be messaged to me on here (wattpad) or emailed to me at ensliedarling@yahoo.com
i can't wait to read what you all come up with!
let me know if you have any questions!
i promise to update soon!
much love xx-m