"I can do this" I slid the knife into the toaster which made a 'zzzzt' sound and I dropped the utensil.
"I just mildly electrocuted myself" all I want is the toast and I'll fight the toaster for it. A knife can't be my weapon though.
"How shocking" Tyler rubbed his eyes while watching me. I'm too lazy to walk to my house so I'm stealing his food. "Feeling amped?"
"Watt? Sorry I can't hear that lame pun you made"
"Ouch that hertz, excited for school tomorrow?" He kissed the top of my head and took the toast out with zero trouble. My saviour.
I munched away at my toast as Tyler munched away at my blood. This is the twisted love I need.
***
When life orientation is your first lesson how could you possibly resist the urge to shoot yourself. This is all general knowledge but considering the people in my school, they don't even have that.
One of Nancy's minions raised her hand. "Yes, Maya?" Mr Goket answered. Maya's presence was as welcome as a turd in a swimming pool.
"Since we're on the topic of intercourse. What sex position creates the ugliest children?"
You could imagine the look he was giving her.
"Why don't you go ask your mother?" I answered. These girls act like they don't come to school riding on a dick.
My phone vibrated with a text from Tyler.
Honeybuns: Class?
Me: Life orientation. Saaave me
Honeybuns: I'm in AP calculus, you need to save me. I'm begging you
Me: Beg some more, you know I like it ;)
Honeybuns: Oh please. I'm the one usually making you beg
Me: I don't think that's all that true. Maybe your blue balls have an answer?
Honeybuns: Oh Bree, I can and will make you beg. I'll fuck you until you can't feel your legs. Whisper in your ear to let go for me while you dig your nails into my back. Sliding my hands all over your body and making your moan the pinnacle of my sexual pleasure while leaving your breathless.
A sudden shiver ran down my spine and I read that message at least 12 times not knowing what to say.
Honeybuns: Guess I left you speechless too. Who doesn't have an answer now ;)
Welp lemme just go die. He's so smooth and he can turn me on like a light switch. Tyler isn't my first boyfriend but I haven't dated anyone as long as I've been dating him. Lately we've been getting really sexually frustrated with each other because things get to the point of almost sex which causes us to both stop. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to. Gotta pop this cherry somehow and the vision of me being 40 losing it to a dildo seems sad.
The bell rang and it was now time for me to play dodge Tyler. I mean I've played dodgeball so how hard could it be to dodge the dick and the balls?
I peaked around the corner before NASCAR drifting around it to history class.
"Who are we hiding from?" Anne whispered below me.
"Let's just say it's hide and seek. No one must find us." We tiptoed where the most students were and kept our heads down.
Mission = success.
Now it's time for English which is the last class before the gates of heaven open and I can leave.
A minute left, I'm counting down, Anne looks ready too.
We left with cheetah speed only to be caught. The fastest animal in the jungle has failed me.
"Off somewhere?" Tyler interrupted.
"To the wonderful wizard of oz?" Anne questioned.
"Here Anne, take this invisible sock. You're free"
She hugged me and left. She's so weird.. I'm rubbing off on her.
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