Two Weeks Later
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Wilder nearly yelled.
"Dude, I'm right next to you. No reason to yell," I said back laughing. I pushed his head away so his voice wasn't in my ear. Then I stretched my arm as far away from him as I could, trying to make sure that he doesn't get it.
"Oh excuse me? I have enough reason to yell! You were going to watch the Flash when I still haven't finished Stranger Things first and everyone knows that Strangers Things is much better than the Flash," Wilder yelled, reaching over me to try and get to the remote that I was trying furiously to keep out of his reach. Unfortunately for me, he was taller than me so he was only a couple of inches away from the remote.
"What? You've never even watched The Flash!" I argued.
"But um... huh... ugh. Just give me the stupid remote!" he yelled, after his little stuttering fest. I snickered.
We had just finished a long, long week of school and it was finally Friday. We just wanted to have a relaxing end of the day with junk food and Netflix. And so far the comfortable part was being left out of the equation.
We of course, had to argue on the which junk food we wanted. Wilder wanted popcorn but I hated popcorn because it left this weird taste in my mouth and it would always stick in my teeth. I wanted to have cookies. One's that had to bake in the oven for about 15 minutes but he had to argue that it took way too long. So instead, we had popcorn, chips, and cookies on the coffee table; yes, we couldn't agree so instead we're going to be wasting a lot of food.
For the past couple of weeks, I have been getting used to his house. He had told me that his parents were on a business trip for a month but he wouldn't explain anything else. He wouldn't tell me what they were like or what they do or even what they did for a living. I tried to bring the subject up but he shut down and didn't say another word.
Now we had to be arguing about which show to watch. Wilder always have to make everything so much difficult.
I've gotten used to my new surroundings here. I don't sleep in a bedroom, I also argue against that because it just felt like I was intruding into his house. I always slept on the couch, the den was my little room. I only had the backpack and that was all. I had to go upstairs and try to find some of Wilder's clothes that would fit me for the day.
It's gotten better. I wasn't always scared about intruding into his house. I would wake up and get breakfast started on my own and if it was night and I couldn't sleep, I would watch some tv on my own. I didn't have to ask Wilder to do something anymore. It felt like I was in my own little apartment by with my own friend, not some stranger.
We've gotten a little rhythm going now. I would start breakfast while he took a shower and then when he came down, I would take a shower and I would see some clothes hanging by the shower, almost my size. We would just hang around in the living room or the den and watch shows until we had to get to the bus. When we got home, we would hang out some more and than try to cook dinner and maybe a movie later.
This has actually been the only fight since I moved in other than the very first day. If you even called this a fight. I think Wilder was just being a prat and had to get the attention all to himself.
"No! You have to at least try and watch the Flash before you can judge my favorite show like that!" I yelled, scooting my butt farther away from him so he couldn't get the remote. By now, I was at the very end of the couch so there was no more room for me to escape.
"No! I know in my heart that there is no show better than Stranger Things. Now give me the remote before you regret it."
Wilder jumped over me and landed right on top of me, a hand reaching out for the remote. He accidently hit my hand and the remote went flying. We looked at each other, both in horror before we tried to make a move to get it.
Wilder pushed off of me but I grabbed his leg, making him fall facedown into the carpet. I snickered at his weird position on the floor. He looked like he was making out with the couch, his arms still by his side and his feet never even made it off the couch.
"Oh, shut up!" he shouted but it was muffled by the carpet.
I leaped from the couch and tried to run over to the other side of the room but Wilder grabbed my foot. The floor just seemed to fall out right from under me. I landed right on his stomach making him groan and cry out.
"Hey you did that to yourself!" I said with a laugh. He grabbed my arms and turned me around so we were face to face, flushed up right on top of each other. I was still laughing until I saw how close our face were up to each other. He looked oddly serious right now. Oddly enough his eyes weren't on mine. I followed where they went and blushed when I saw that he was focused on my lips.
I couldn't blame him. I, myself, was looking downward to his lips also. They were slightly chapped and pale. Then suddenly he licked his lips which made me almost do something that I never thought I would ever do. Shocked, I pulled back a little, scared for even thinking about that.
Then suddenly, Wilder moved up and before I could do anything, he placed a tiny, little peck on my lips. It was just a little peck - not even a two seconds long. His lips were suddenly on mine and then they weren't. I wasn't even sure what to make of it because I didn't have the time to react. I wasn't even sure that it was real, it happened too fast.
Wilder looked up into my eyes to make sure that I was alright. His eyes were wide, his lips slightly parted, hair all messed up and all I could think about was that in that moment: he looked so cute. I knew he only did it for a second because he wasn't sure how I would react so he didn't push or pressure me to something.
For a while, I was just laying there completely frozen in shock. I didn't look at him. I couldn't. I was thinking. Wilder just looked at me and I knew he was getting more worried by the moment.
I couldn't really believe that Wilder just did that. Did it mean that he likes me? Do I like him? Why would he kiss me? Should I kiss him? Wait, why am I thinking that? Do I like him? Do I like him? That last question was the main question constantly rerunning itself in my brain.
I mean, I just thought that he was cute. I'm not freaking out like I normally would if anyone else did that. Hell, I'm being held down and I'm still not freaking out. I just feel safe around him. Does that mean that I like him? How should I know when I like a person? Ugh, they didn't give us textbooks on this when I was in middle school! So how the hell were they preparing us for the real world. Okay, I'm getting really off track. Focus, I thought.
I know that I have been developing feelings for him from the past two weeks but for a friend or for a crush? I've wanted to be in his company and only his company but that could be because I don't know anyone else. I seem to blush whenever he says something nice and I seem to be thinking about him even when he isn't around. But that's normal for friends right?
"Zander?" Wilder finally asked. His face was the definition of worried. His eyes were slowly drooping and he was biting his lip in nervousness.
"Um..." I said, not sure exactly what to say.
"Oh," he said and started to get out from under me, his face was down and he looked terrible, almost as if he was about to cry. At this (for some insane reason) I felt bad and sad.
He can't leave, I thought quickly. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back before he could leave. I saw his eyes looking as if all hope was lost. Before I could finish thinking whatever I had planned thru, I grabbed his chin and pulled it down and gave him a quick peck on his forehead. It was just as quick as his kiss, maybe even faster. Then I let go as if it was on fire.
He looked at me in wonder and I blushed. We just kept staring at each other for a while and I knew that I had to break it up, I'm just not good with unknown silences. You can never really tell what the other is thinking and that made me paranoid.
Yes, I know, a lot of things make me paranoid. I guess it's just from my bringing up with my abusive parents so don't judge, I thought to myself.
"Can we watch the Flash now?" I asked, giving him my best puppy dog eyes.
Wilder laughed and his face was the brightest it was ever been. His eyes were so bright and he just looked so happy. Even I had to smile at him; he's smile was just too contagious.
"Was that all that for? The kiss was just to watch the Flash?" he asked but he was laughing so I knew everything was okay.
"Maybe..." I said and started to blush again.
"You're always pink," Wilder mussed and I couldn't help but blush again. I remember when he said that on the bus and I had no idea what to think about it. He raised a hand and lightly caressed my cheek.
"Alright enough of this," Wilder said with a big fat smile. "Let's watch some Stranger Things?"
"Seriously? I'm not watching that show. It was my turn to pick anyways," I said, grabbing his hand and using him to help pull me up.
"Stranger Things," he said seriously.
"The Flash," I said just as serious as him.
I stared right into his eyes and gave him a small stink eye. He returned it and before I knew it, we were in the beginnings of a staring contest. I closed my eyelids just a little but not down enough to be considered a blink. I knew that this way, it would be easier for my eye to... breath. Wilder seemed to think totally different than me. His eyes were wide open as if he was waiting for some big surprise.
Finally after we had a long staring contest, he said, "Fine! We can watch your stupid show only because... um... I can't say no to you." Then he looked down and closed his eyes while rubbing them. "God, that hurt."
I grinned as if I had won the lottery. "I knew you'd say yes."
He scoffed. "Yeah, yeah, whatever, let's just get this show over with."
"Oh shut up. You'll like it, I know you will." I grabbed his hand and you made our way back to the couch. He slightly pulled me towards him but slowly, giving me time if I wanted it to turn away. I didn't. He slung his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into his side. I blushed.
"Let's just get it over it," he sighed. I smiled and finally pushed play on my favorite show in the world. The Flash was literally my hero. He was my favorite superhuman or metahuman in the whole world.
For the next hour, I watched his facial reactions to see if he was enjoying the movie. Everytime, that I looked at him he would cover his face up in a mask to make it seem like he wasn't enjoying it but in reality, I knew he was liking it. How could anybody not like the Flash?
"So how was it?" I asked with a sly smile after the first episode was done. It talked all about how Barry Allen (The Flash) got his powers and how he got his own team to help him develop his powers.
He curled one side of his lip back, looking at the tv as if it was a real person, totally judging it. "It was... okay but not nearly as good as Stranger Things."
"I guess that was as good as we were going to get it," I said with a sigh. "Would you care to watch another one?"
"I suppose," he said with a yawn. I watched him in amusement.
"Yeah. Uh huh."
He yawned again and I pressed play on the second episode. I was so consumed with the show that I didn't notice Wilder slowly falling asleep until the end of the episode.
His head was laying on my shoulder, one arm still lazily wrapped around my shoulders. I rolled my eyes at him. He just had to fall asleep during my favorite show. He's such a good friend, I thought sarcastically.
I couldn't help but admire his features. He looked rather handsome right now just sleeping peacefully. Shady brown hair in one eye, his thick eyebrows laying down softly. His jaw was sharp and his cheekbones were rather defined.
Smiling lightly at him, I moved some hair from his face and laid him down on the couch. I made sure there was a pillow under his head and the blanket was all the way up to his chin. I liked his company a lot but I couldn't lay down with him on the couch because then I would most likely freak out that I'm that close to someone else. I don't like that I'm there yet and I don't want to do anything without Wilder knowing.
I hurried up and grabbed some blankets and pillows from his room and placed them on the ground right next to the couch. I moved the coffee table towards the tv so I could lay down right next to him by the couch.
I tried to fall asleep but there was just too much going on in my head at the moment. Wilder kissed me. He actually kissed me. Now he knows that I'm gay and I know that he's gay or at least bisexual. That could still be a bad thing because he could just be playing me and he could go back to school and totally ruin me even worse. Instead of having 80% of the school hate me, 100% of them will hate me.
The instant that that thought hit me, I couldn't get it out of my mind. The more I thought of it the more paranoid I got. Could he really be doing all of this to humiliate me? Is he just playing me?
Then the other side of me said that he couldn't possible be doing that. He hasn't talked to his friends or his family and I know because I live in his house and he's always around me at school. He's been nothing but nice to me for the last month. He's been there for me whenever I had my panic attacks and he was always genuine to me.
I stood up to get a glass of water because I still couldn't sleep. My mind was filled with a lot of what if's and I couldn't make it go away. I tried distracting myself with music and with the tv on the lowest volume as to where I could still hear it. I tried daydreaming or something.
Finally my head was about to overload and I had to get out of there. I used to get these feelings when I was at my dad's and when I got too consumed with stress or anxiety, I would sneak outside and hurry into the forest. It was just my safe haven. I first went there as a small child, probably 8 years old. The nature just consumed all of my thoughts and for once, I could think clearly.
Carefully as to not wake Wilder up, I grabbed one his old pair of shoes that he lend down to me. I made sure to put the cup of water back, not wanting to disturb his household. I took one last, good look at him before I opened his backdoor and disappeared into the midnight sky.
I would be back; I just needed to clear my head for a while.