That shower felt like the best thing in the world. The warm water was totally refreshing and not only did it take the liquor smell away but it allowed me to finally wake me up to reality.
I took a lot longer than I intended to but I couldn't help it. I just kept overthinking everything about what would happen to my sister and why Wilder is helping me so time seemed to just fly by in a rush and I didn't realize how long I had been taking until I got out.
When I got out, I saw that there was a plain red button up shirt with an old, worn down pair of grey pants. There was some long socks and a plain white undershirt if I wanted it.
They were actually kind big. Wilder himself is like four sizes bigger than me but his older clothes still didn't fit me nearly as well. They were still about two sizes big but I wasn't complaining. If Wilder hadn't of helped me than I probably would have passed out on the side of a road or hidden somewhere in the forest.
When I wondered downstairs, I found Wilder sitting at a small round table. The house looked rather homey. All of the tables and chairs were made out of nice polished wood. The couches were all this greyish blackish color made out of nice, soft material. The cabinets were all painted light blown and the floor was totally carpet.
"How was your shower?" Wilder asked politely while standing up. It all seemed way too formal.... And awkward.
"It was fine," I stood at the entrance of the kitchen, awkwardly shifting back and forth on my toes, wondering if I should go and sit or wait until he invites me in. Wilder seemed to automatically realize that I was anxious and quickly did something about it.
"Come on in," he spoke quickly, "You can sit down if you like, while you are here in my house, you can use all the showers and bathrooms, you can eat what you want and you can watch whatever you want. No longer is it just my house, this can be your home too. OK?"
I nodded and looked at him gratefully. I felt this weird feeling that fluttered in my stomach start to move around and I started to heat up. What was happening? Before I could make this any more awkward, I quickly said, "Thank you again for everything."
"It's no problem at all. Would you like something to eat then? I have some bananas, cereal, waffles, pancakes, basically anything," he said.
"I'll just take a two waffles and some milk if you have some?" I said, taking a seat at the table.
"Dude, you can calm down now. There's nobody here to hurt you and you can be and do whatever you want," Wilder said with a small smirk, trying to break the tension.
I just gave him a small smile not truly believing what he said. Nowhere was never safe. I knew that from my father and even a little from my darling, sweet sister.
Wilder looked like he understood but didn't try to say anything so it was unusually quiet from him as the waffles were heating up in the microwave. My knee couldn't seem to stop shaking and my lips were starting to bleed from all the times that I've bitten them in nervousness.
Luckily they were only in there for thirty seconds so it wasn't that long. He poured the milk while the waffles were in the microwave and my breakfast was done in a flash. I just watched him move around, watching how he moved with agility and smooth. I automatically felt like a creep so I averted my eyes away.
I grunted at him in thanks and started to eat the waffles. I was too nervous to ask him for some syrup for some insane reason. I could never ask my dad for anything or else he would get mad and then beat me. You can definitely tell that I'm self conscious.
"So are you finally ready to tell me what happened?" Wilder asked. He was leaning on the table, his arms crossed with his head laying down. He was looking at me from the side and I couldn't help but admit that he looked quite cute right now.
"You're not going to tell it go are you?" I asked, sighing, taking a long gulp of my milk.
"Nope," he said popping the p with a snicker.
"Fine," I said, trying to think of a way to say and explain it, "I um.... My dad has certain beliefs and I just don't particularly agree with them. Also my dad is very headstrong and stubborn. You aren't allowed to have any other opinions then his own or he gets really mad and takes it rather personally. He just kicked me out for a while; I'm sure he'll calm down soon enough, he was just really mad right then and he wasn't making the right decisions."
Well it was sort of the truth. My dad does have his own beliefs like his stupid homophobic ones and I don't agree with them. Because it was half the truth it was easier for me to say instead of an outright lie.
Wilder didn't say anything for a while. His eyes were narrowed and it looked like he was studying me to see if I was telling the truth. I tried to look him directly in the eye so he wouldn't see that I'm nervous. Without even thinking about it, I started to bite in lip.
Wilder just sighed when he finished his assessment.
"I helped you clean up and help dress your wounds. I'm your friend and yet you still are lying to me. Why? I thought you were better than that," Wilder said angrily.
My mouth opened in surprise. "Wilder you have to understand-"
Wilder stood up and walked away. "I try to understand but I literally just helped to clean up a huge injury on your chest and had to let you use my shower because you reeked of alcohol. I'm allowing you to stay in my house and all I want to know is what happened to you and why," he said, angry at first but then towards the end, he seemed to get more disappointed.
"Wilder please," I said my voice strangled and cracking a little from all of my yelling at my dad's house.
"What?" he said, giving me a rather cold stare. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"
My heart clenched and I gulped. If I told him then he might leave me and think of me disgusted but if I didn't he won't trust me. All I knew is that I couldn't have him leave me too. He was my last strand of everything. If he didn't help me then I will kill myself, I literally have nothing left to lose.
"No," I whispered.
"Thought not," he snapped back.
I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. Instead a whimper somehow managed to come out. I quickly shut my mouth now way too embarrassed.
Wilder caught it though and looked at me, his eyes softened slightly as he saw me. "Look. I'm sorry but I want to know the truth. Now go pick out some of my old shoes since you ran over here barefoot so we can make it to the bus on time."
Then he just let me alone and he disappeared. I just stood there, kind of surprised that he left me off the hook so easily.
Finally I decided to roam the house tot try and find a shoe rack or something. I basically searched the whole house, tight by the door, in a closet, in a bedroom closet and the whole time, I didn't see Wilder at all. It was truly like he disappeared. I checked every room and nothing.
Anyways, I finally found a pair of shoes that looked old, they were found under the bottom of the stairs in a cupboard.
They were black and blue sneakers but the laces were all torn up and the heels were totally worn down. Still, I was just happy that I wouldn't have to turn up to school barefoot.
I then made my way outside just like Wilder told me to. And guess where he was? I finally found him under a small, tree in the front yard. He was wearing a plain blue shirt with a jean jacket over it. He was wearing ripped black leather pants. At his feet were two backpacks; I'm guessing that one of them was mine because I hadn't brought one.
"Hey," I muttered, coming to sit beside him but making sure there was a lot of room in between the both of us.
Wilder just looked at me, then the space between and scowled. "Hey."
I just fiddled with my fingers, trying to think of something to say to make him less angry or just trying to think of another topic so it wasn't so awkward.
"Um... is that my backpack?" I asked quietly, pointed to the backpack on the left. It looked rather old so I could only assume.
"Oh yeah. I thought you would need one," he said and handed it to me. It was light blue with only two pockets and only one shoulder patch was working. The other side was broken. In the front, it looked like a name was written on the bag but now it looked like it was slowly wearing down.
"What are we doing out here?" I asked.
"You don't have to be out here if you don't want to," Wilder snapped, "I'm just waiting for the bus." Wow, it's still that early. I thought it was like noon already not eight o'clock in the morning. So much has happened in the last three hours and I wondered how I wasn't freaking out. Oh yeah, I remember, it was Wilder who helped bring me back.
I sighed. "Wilder.... Please. I just don't feel comfortable talking about that right now. Especially since it's still so fresh."
Wilder still didn't look up but I could hear him sigh. I took that as a good sign.
I made a courageous decision and as I let out a shaky breath, I scooted my sad excuse of a butt over to where Wilder was sitting so our legs were slightly touching. I placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Wilder please. You are my best friend and I don't want to lose you too," I muttered (after about three minutes of doing nothing; it took me that long to say it. Pathetic, I know), anxiously just sitting around, waiting for him to say something or at least acknowledge me.
When he didn't say anything, I finally gave up. I was already looking like a clingy, pathetic fool and I didn't want to make it any worse. As I was moving away, a hand suddenly grabbed mine and I froze, not to make any sudden movements in case I scared him away.
He grabbed it tighter, intwinding his fingers in mine. Wilder moved closer until we were side by side, flushed up to each other. Our legs were touching and I had half the mind to move it away but then decided against.
He laid his head down on my shoulder and whispered in my ear, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you that far. You were already scared and nervous and I made it worse. Can you forgive me?"
I froze as I felt his breath by my ear. "Of course," I somehow managed to get out, almost paralyzed by whatever he was doing to me.
"Do you want me to move?" he said, sensing my nervousness. I didn't know why but for some strange reason I didn't want him to move away. I, myself, was just too tense right now for this situation.
I willed myself to calm down and surprisingly, it wasn't hard at all. I just sort of melted down. "No. I'd rather you stay here." I blushed when the last part of it came out but he just smiled.
"So I'm your best friend huh?" he asked, remembering our conversation from before. Oh god, I did say that. I turned beet red once again. My ears started to feel like they were on fire. Wilder saw my reaction and smirked.
"Well..."
He snickered. "That's what I heard."
"Well in that case, I guess you are," I said, blushing.
"That's okay," he muttered in my ear. I couldn't move. I was just shocked. I could only sit there, memorized, waiting and letting him do whatever he wanted. And for some insane reason, I didn't want to push him away like I would have done to anyone else. It seemed I was almost excited to see what he would do next. "You're mine too."