Dear Reality,
I'm not exactly what to say today. I'm at a loss of words of what to say. I've just had the weirdest day ever. I meet some bully who used to bully me (duh) and he wanted to be my friend. He actually tried to be my friend. He just followed me around all day like a little lost puppy. I couldn't lose him, I tried to take a long time in the bathroom but even after 30 minutes later, he was still just waiting for me.
He would find me from his other classes that we didn't have together and he would follow me to the next class when though he got a tardy. I just couldn't lose him. Like how in the world did he know where to find me? This school is actually really big and it just amazed me that he could do that. Maybe he got one of his friends to spy on me....
Anyways, I still don't trust him. Well I don't trust anyone at all but I would rather trust my dad or my sister rather than him. It just seems too random and to sudden. But he just seems so genuine and after Frank, I'm don't believe I'll trust anyone ever again. He and my dad and my sister made me be paranoid about everything. I don't think I'll ever have peace.
Enough talk about that jerk, it starts to sound like I'm getting obsessed. Though there are worse things going on right now. My sister is getting too close to my dad - no, to her dad. That man is not my father anymore. She's starting to tell him everything as if he is her best friend in the world.
She doesn't even see me as her brother anymore, she sees me like a slave or a servant that gets to do anything for her for free. One day she's going to do it. She's going to tell the son of a jerk my secret. I swear if she does than I will kill myself. She will ruin everything and if I don't kill myself than I know that he will.
I shouldn't have told her at all and now it's going to come back and kick me in the butt. I really don't know why I did it. I was young and scared and she hadn't been taken by the dark side. I better hope that she doesn't even remember it but I doubt it. She had sworn to me that she will never tell no on and I knew that it was hard to keep secrets for her do I know that she probably remembers it from all the torture it caused her in the past when people asked.
Oh no, my dad is calling. I have to go. Please once again, God help me... please.
Love, A Joke
I sighed and clenched the paper in my hand in frustration. This is never going to work. He's never going to let me in. But even though the odds seemed horrible, I couldn't seem to get him out of my head. Instead it kept trying to give me ideas to find a way to help him or help me get closer to him.
I also had so many questions that you won't believe. It always seems like this letters make things worse and instead of giving me help and answer, it gives me riddles and questions. My main question is what is his secret and why is he so afraid that it will destroy him? Another is who the hell is Frank and what did he do to my friend?
But for some reason my heart seemed to get warmer when I realized that he does notice me and that he isn't just totally ignoring me. I gently released my hold on the sheet of paper and placed it in a secret pocket where I kept the other ones in my backpack. With a slight smile, I made my way to the bus stop.
My eyes automatically looked for Zander and I found him in a tiny corner, trying to blend in while he was waiting for the bus. He looked so cute, all cuddled up, trying to stay war- wait, did I just call him cute? I froze for a second before realizing that I just made a mistake and proceeded to walk towards him.
"Hey Wilder! Where ya going man? We always wait over there." Josh asked suddenly appearing by my side. I groaned, mad that there was a roadblock on my way to the shy child over there.
"Josh just get out of the way," I said calmly and he flinched back as if I had hit him. God he's such a dramatic baby, I thought with an eye roll. He squinted at me as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"What did ya say?"
"I asked you to get out of my face nicely but you don't leave I am seriously going to start throwing punches," I said also in a calm and nice tone. He looked actually freaked out that I was so calm.
"No, I will not move. What the hell has gotten into you?" he asked, standing in front of me, crossing his arms.
"Josh I told you to move," I said, this time my voice more threatening.
"And I asked you a question," he said.
"Get out of my way."
"No! I will not move until you tell me what is going on with you. I saw you sitting with that weirdo. What the hell is the matter with you? He's a freak and you just walked over there and sat down with him. That's not you. Now tell me what is going on!" he demanded and at the sound of his yelling, attention was brought over to us, even the black haired child that I said with yesterday.
He looked up, started and stared at me and realized that he was the center of attention and quickly ducked his head ashamed. That was it.
I got up and finally took a stand. I pushed Josh's chest making him stumble backwards. "First of all, he's not a freak! He never has been and never will be!"
I gave him another push. "Also how would you know what I'm like? I could be the freaking batman and you would never know. I'm not like you and I never will be!" I ended up shouting and cursed myself when the crowd slowly got bigger and more people's attention we were getting which I'm sure Josh enjoyed because he just loves being in the center of attention.
He snarled at me, the only other time's I've ever seen him do that was when he was snarling at his victims.
I looked around him really quick and I saw that he was looking at me his eyes slightly wide. His chest was heaving as if he was about to have a panic attack from all the attention. His eyes desperately looked at me like he needed help.
I glanced back at Josh who seemed to get angrier. His hands were clenched and his teeth were grinding together. I felt a wave of panic that I won't get to Zander at time.
The crowd was starting to pick sides and they were yelling out stupid comments until I hear "he's making a run for it!"
Panicking I looked for Zander but he was gone. His spot was empty and nothing remanded except a small number two pencil.
I looked at the guy that yelled the comment and quickly asked, "What direction?" He just stared frozen at me until I yelled, Where did he go?" He timidly pointed to the left.
Before I could make a move to go find him, I was body slammed to the ground. I looked up to see the growling face of Josh. I groaned feebly trying to push his body off of me.
"No one embarrasses me and gets away with it. You should know this by now. Even though I didn't know who you are, I haven't been faking anything!" Josh said, whispering viciously in my ear.
I curled my lip and raised my leg up between his legs. He cries out in pain but he didn't move off of me, instead he decided to give me a black eye. My head was off of the ground to help find momentum to push him off when he punched my face and it followed through until my head hit the concrete.
I cursed at him. I tried to find a way to get out of his grip but he had me good. His hands gripped my wrists and held them down by my sides. His legs were pushed down into my legs so tightly that I was starting to get bruises.
Finally I couldn't do it anymore. I literally my head up and I head butted him so hard that I immediately started to see spots. But I pushed through. While he was disoriented, I pulled my arms out of his grip and turned us until I was on top of him and downfall came a rain of my hatred punches.
I hit his left side than his right side and made sure to return the favor of the black eye. Actually, I think I gave him three.
"You have something right here," I said with a smirk, pointing at his cheek.
He growled and tried to move but he was way too weak.
I got off of him when I was certain he wasn't going to come back up. The crowd had gone unusually silent and everyone was staring at me with wide eyes.
I was soaked with sweat from our little battle with blood dripping out of my nose and one eye slightly closed. Yeah, I would say that I looked like quite a sight. But I won.
I looked back at the guy and asked him again where Zander had gone to. With a trembling hand, he pointed to the left where a whole forest lay.
"Fudge! He could be anywhere by now," I murmured to myself and took off to find him.
I ran as fast as I could, ignoring the stares from everyone else.
When I entered the woods it was like the mood and weather had suddenly changed. It was dark and gloomy and a little foggy. You could hardly see ten meters in front of you. The trees heavily clouded the sun, making it seem like night time. Nervously I looked around but I couldn't see him or any trail where he might of gone.
I swear if suddenly turned into a horror movie. The woods were absolutely silent and the fog didn't make me feel any better. I would be like one of those dumb kids stupidly running into danger than getting somewhere safe.
I looked back and was almost tempted to turn around and leave but then I realized that Zander must be feeling worse than I am. He obviously has anxiety and I wasn't sure if this was making it better or worse.
I sighed. "I'm so dead," I mumbled but then I took off. It was my fault that he was in this situation to begin with. If I hadn't been so mean to Josh than we won't have caught a fight and Zander won't be in the middle of it and then he won't have been in the woods, all alone, probably panicking so much right now.