One Rainy Afternoon
-•-•-
She rushes through the crowd, in the pouring rain.
She rushes soaking wet, closer to the scent of lilies.
Closer to his heart.
As I walk out of the front door, the light showers of rain continue to drizzle over the healthy green and prettily blossomed foliage that surrounds my plain white home. The flowers I've spent hours nursing almost every weekend since I've inherited this home from a distant aunt are luckily all in bloom at the same time, and every inch of the garden is looking well-groomed.
I smile. The corner of my eyes crinkles with pleasure as I glance around my front yard while standing at the edge of my front porch, opening my bright yellow umbrella. The yellow material expands as I push the umbrella open and I quickly pull it over me. It doesn't help to keep out much of the rain, but it's convenient.
Quickly, without delay, I step out onto the driveway and begin rushing towards the front gate.
The quicker I get to the bus stop the better. I really need to hand over the hard copy manuscripts I've just completed proofreading and editing last night. Thankfully I have almost four hours until the deadline.
"Where are you rushing off to, Gemma?!" Mrs. Red yells as I slide the gate to a close and lock it as quickly as I can. Turning around I smile at the old woman, my small feet hurriedly shuffling along the sidewalk. Her blatant need to pry doesn't surprise me — as much as it used to — anymore. I've just come to accept that with age comes the need to satisfy one's curiosity about one's family members, neighbours, and everyone else's personal lives.
"Going to submit these manuscripts, Magenta! See you around!!" I yell back, putting my hand up in a quick wave as I almost fly past her house. I'm only 3 blocks away from the bus stop now and I can almost see the bus driving its way towards the stop quicker than my two tiny feet can carry me.
Magenta Red.
I have always thought that it is a beautiful name — if not particularly hilarious in its unity. Sometimes though, I couldn't help but wonder if Mrs. Red's parents had ever thought that their daughter would go on and marry a man with a surname as Red, when they named her Magenta. I could only laugh thinking about her parent's reactions when they first heard of their daughter's new surname.
"Oh no!" I gasp as I feel my feet step into a puddle. Looking down I frown as I noticed that my black Oxford shoes are completely soaked. Sadly, I do not have the tiniest bit of time to stop. So, instead, I push forward until I'm at the bus stop and then quickly begin shaking off the leg that had stepped into the puddle.
My eyes meet a stranger woman's and I instantly smile, embarrassed at being caught in this situation.
"Even such a beautiful day like this has its disadvantages, doesn't it?" She speaks quite clearly. Her tone is brisk but I can hear a hint of humour. I nod back sheepishly.
"You're right. it's such a shame,"
Soon enough the bus reaches the stop and after letting the current passengers get off, I join in the line for getting in.
Stepping on the bus, my eyes look at the empty seats as I assess the best spot to sit. It doesn't take too long to realise that my usual seat empty, and I quickly make a bee-line towards it. Grinning happily as I settle myself into the seat and place my bag on my lap.
The rain outside splashes against the bus' window. The bus begins to move, and I smile as I try to see through the foggy glass out into the world outside. The usual feeling of content settles into my chest as I pull my jacket closer to my neck and place on my earplugs, tapping play on my usual playlist.
I love taking bus rides. Especially when it rains like this. Sitting here, almost near the back as it rains outside, a whole new world seems to be created in the large vehicle. A whole new world that feels safe despite being so uncertain of its passengers, that feels warm despite it raining so hard outside. It's a system that works well enough, loving bus rides and not having a car of my own.
I was never a girl from a, particularly rich family. In fact, my family is quite in the middle class. Ever since I can remember, my mother has worked as an accountant in a large firm, and my father has been a professor for the Faculty of Agriculture at a local university back home. Their jobs never changed and neither did our financial standing.
I was always aware of the bills and expenditures of the house. Despite having a single maid that came by five days a week, I remember we would always budget and be aware of our spendings. Regardless, I was always quite content with my life. I loved my moderately sized home and it didn't matter that I didn't get a car gifted on my sixteenth birthday like the other kids, or a credit card to spend my parents' money with.
Breaking me out of my thoughts, the bus comes to a stop and I check that all my manuscripts are safely placed in a plastic bag inside my bag before pulling out my umbrella and getting up. Quickly I begin making my way towards the exit. Today is a more important day than usual. Apart from having to submit these manuscripts, it's also pay-day and that means it's the day I do my grocery shopping and pay the bills.
Being a twenty-four-year-old girl, taking care of my own house and expenses, and doing my Masters part-time at the university while working full time as an editor for a very popular publishing company is not exactly what I had initially thought adult life to be. I had been a dreamer, in my dreams, everything was pastel and Instagram worthy. I was living a beautiful life filled with magical multitasking and a Prince Charming who always stood by my side, supporting me.
Reality isn't like that though. I figured that out the very first day I moved into this house alone. Although I know my parents would love to help me out, asking them for money is probably the hardest thing I have had to do in quite a while and so I try to keep that off as the absolute last option. So far it has been working well. Sometimes in the moment of solitude, I even admit to myself how proud I am of this little world I have created for myself.
Stepping off the bus, I turn in the direction of the publishing company.
Despite life's realities, however, I still do try to find the beauty in things. I try keeping my home and garden just as I used to dream it would be. I reckon, as long as I can get one thing right, the rest won't matter too much.
Prince Charming looks way better in my imagination anyway.
Turning around the street's corner, my eyes spot the publishing company and I let out a huff of exhausted breath. Already dreading having to go up 5 floors of stairs. Being claustrophobic isn't exactly a quirk to celebrate sometimes.
The rain begins to get stronger and my feet don't carry me as quick as I want them to. I tighten my grasp on the small, yellow umbrella as I angle it against the direction of the pelting rain and grimace when it barely does anything to hold the icy shower of water off.
As I pass the brightly painted, large building I've come to appreciate over the past years working at the publishing company, the rich scent of beef stir fry wafts out of the Chinese restaurant and out into the rainy street. Had it been some other time, I would have given in, however this month I am tight on the money and have to buy other things for the house — so Chinese takeouts will have to wait for a while.
"Gemma! It's good to finally see you in the office! Have you been well?" Alicia, the chief editor of our publishing company smiles up at me as I enter the office and walk over to her office — knocking on the door I open it when she gives the green signal.
I try to ignore the secret jibe she holds in her sweet greeting and smile back at her as brightly as I can, "Hello Alicia. Yes! I've been well as you must know since we report to each other every day one way or another," Instantly I smile brighter and push the sealed and tagged envelopes towards her on the table, "I've just brought over the finished editings for the three hard copies you wanted to get done."
Alicia's smile turns into a grin and I can't help but wish I had just mailed the manuscripts instead, "Thanks, Gemma, I'll get through the rest of the processes."
"How are your studies going?" Alicia asks as she always does, carefully putting the envelopes to the side. She's trying to seem like she's just showing concern and care but I know better. Alicia only holds a Post-Grad. Soon, I'll hold a Masters. This specific thing has caused a lot of the most boring manuscripts coming my way to edit for the past few months. And that too, most of them the old-fashioned hard copies.
"It's going really well," I chuckle awkwardly as I shuffle on my feet, trying to think of how I can keep myself from coming off as a show-off. In the end, I give up. Anything I do will seem like a slap in her face. Alicia has always been very brutally competitive. The main reason why she's the chief editor and so many of the rest of us are not.
"That's great," Alicia nods, turning back to her large desktop screen.
"I just hope it doesn't affect your work efficiency, Gemma. I'd hate to let you go,"
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
The strong smell of the rain and traffic hits me straight in my senses as I step out of the building and onto the now slightly drizzling street. Despite the rain, the skies have turned into the colour of pale pink blush, and I glance around the sky with affection before opening my umbrella and stepping out into the light drizzle.
"Take care on your way home," One of the graphic designers in our company, Jason, waves at me as he sticks his head out of the front door and then sticks it back in.
"Thanks, Jace!" I smile at the man's antique and dumbly wave back. Knowing the silent clash between Alicia and me very well, I always appreciate it when Jason sneaks out of the office just to come down 5 floors and wave me goodbye. Just to make me smile after the harsh encounters.
My black oxfords tap against the sidewalk, and I smile as I begin making my way towards the mall. After dealing with Alicia, I'm glad to be having an outlet for distraction. It's even more stressful on days I do desk duty. Those are the worst.
My eyes roam around the somewhat busy downtown street, and I realise that the heavy rain has slowly calmed down during the time I was at the company. "It's better this way," I think to myself as I begin to pass the Chinese restaurant. I mean after all I do have shopping to do, and bills to —
"Mum-mmy!"
I freeze. My eyes snap down to my legs where two, pale, tiny arms are now wrapped around my calves.
Immediately twisting around slightly and kneeling down my eyes find two large, bright ones staring back at me. Despite my shock, I smile at the little boy. My hand right-hand wraps around the small boy's waist and I craftily pull him under the protection of the umbrella.
"What's your mummy's name, little man? Have you lost her?"
"Mummy!" The child's small grubby fingers find my hair as he tries to climb onto me and I flinch awkwardly, thinking of how to handle this.
Flustered, I re-adjust my shoulder bag and pull the very mistaken, climbing boy into my arms.
Before today, I'd never been quite good with kids. It's not like I dislike them, on the contrary, I love babies. It's just that they hate me. My nieces and nephews, random babies on buses. Well... maybe not this child.
A quick look into his eyes and I notice how tear stricken his cheeks look. His large, wide eyes are staring at me in wonder and love I don't really deserve. I can't help but envy his mother though. To have this child look at her with such devotion and love all the time, she must be a very happy woman.
I frown slowly. Suddenly realising that his parents are nowhere to be seen, "Where is your mum, sweetie?"
"Mum-mmy! Have you forgot me?!" The boy sobs out loudly as he begins pulling at my hair, trying his best to stick his slightly wet self, closer to me.
"This isn't going to work out," I think, sighing as I look around for an adult looking for this child.
"Okay! Okay!" I blurt out, making up my mind as I tighten my hold on the child. I've begun to notice how awkwardly the security guards at the restaurant have begun to look at me, "Where's your dad?"
"I'm so sorry!" The smooth liquid-like voice flows smoothly through the air and into my ears. Something about this soft, boyish voice sends a ripple of awareness through me and I almost flinch with the awkwardness of these feelings.
My eyes snap up and my breath hitches in my throat as I stare at a man rushing towards us, a large black umbrella over his head. My eyes run over his perfectly styled hair that has fallen a bit askew with clear signs of distress as I notice him run his fingers through his hair nervously.
Reaching us he also drops to kneel before us and our eyes meet. Something in my chest bursts and I can only blink.
Breathe, Gemma! Breathing is important! It gives carbon dioxide to plants. Plants are very important. They give oxygen to us. Basically breathing is very very important. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale!
"I'm so sorry," he apologies, his eyes moving from his child to me. My eyes, however, are focused on the pale pink hue on his cheeks. They remind me of the sky and I smile.
Exhale damn it!
"Pa! Mum-mmy!!" The little boy suddenly jumps in my arms, surprised I almost tumble back when two strong hands wrap around me, stopping me from falling on my arse. Immediately my arms tighten around the boys in return.
"I'm so sorry about that. Isaac is usually more well behaved," the man coughs, removing his hands from me as if he has been burnt.
"It's no problem," I shake my head awkwardly, "I'm afraid he's gotten a bit wet. You should change him out of his clothes in case he gets sick."
The man bristles at my words but still smiles and nods. His arms begin to reach forward towards his child when suddenly the kid begins pulling at my hair, trying to get closer to me.
Despite my pain, I grit my teeth together to stop myself from yelping and instead hold the boy close. It's time to take a whole different approach.
For a second I glance at the man awkwardly, hoping he doesn't hate me too much for this. Then I turn back towards the frantic child.
"It's okay sweetie, mummy is going to be here," I mumble into the tiny boy's ears and I notice the man before me stiffen. I avoid his eyes, caressing the boy instead while I continue to talk to the child, "Mummy needs to grab something from the supermarket. Why don't you go to dad for a bit?"
"No! Mummy liar!" Young Isaac whines as his tiny fingers find the material of my jacket and curls around it tightly.
My eyes snap to the man's and I fight the urge to just stare into the deep brown eyes that seem to penetrate into my soul.
"Your... your mother's right, Isaac. She needs to grab something from the store, we'll wait for her in the restaurant with grandma and grandpa. Come," the man reaches for the child again and I lean forward, allowing him easier access.
"No!" Isaac screams out in the thankfully almost empty sidewalk. My eyes avoid the passerby's as I decide to pay attention to the child before me instead. His small arm moves to my neck and tightens.
"Don't let me go, mummy. Paa is a liar," he whispers into my ear and I almost feel my heartbreak for the little guy. He moves his head back to look at me with pleading eyes and I purse my lips together, knowing exactly well that I am losing to the child. He has his father's eyes. Eyes that make me feel like they are looking into my soul.
"Don't you trust mummy?" I gulp and quickly whisper back, remembering to smile warmly at the child in my arms. His father stays kneeled before us, watching us quietly.
"You do, don't you?" I can only imagine what a scene the three of us must be to the other people walking around us. Still, I keep my focus on the strong little bundle in my arms. Slowly the child nods and my smile widens.
"Then go to daddy. Mummy will find you both, okay?" I whisper in the child's ears. The man stays kneeled before us, still quiet. Still observing us.
"Promise?" the child whispers as his fingers tighten around my neck.
I almost push him into his father's arms and bolt away from this place. In my life, there are many things that I have done. I've lied. I've stolen from my mum's makeup collection. I've skipped school once or twice too. I've even snuck out of my home once just to go meet my then best friend who had just broken up with her stupid boyfriend. But despite all these reckless things I've done, I have never cheated on someone, and I've never given someone a fake promise.
"Promise?" Isaac whispers again and I turn to his father. I feel my heart jump in my chest when I see the man's quiet eyes already watching me. The pink hue that was present only in his cheeks has now spread all over his face. Instead of looking embarrassed, now he looks upset. Still, the man watches me. Waiting to observe what I say to the boy.
"I promise," I smile at the big, sad-eyed boy as I take my free hand away from him and quickly push it into my bag. Quickly pulling out one of the many cards I was made to make, I put one into the now relaxed child's hand, "And in the meantime, if you miss mummy then you can always call me, okay?"
"Okay, mummy," Isaac whispers softly as he closes his small fingers around the card. My eyes turn to the man's once again and I smile.
"If Isaac misses me, please let him talk to me," I tell the silent man as I lean forward and let him take the child into his arms.
Immediately both of us get up on our feet, and I realise just how tall the man is compared to me.
"Again, I'm very sorry," the man nods again, looking slightly embarrassed and grateful.
"Let him call me if he wants," I reply instead. Something about the man makes me think that this will be the last thing he will do in case Isaac misses his mother.
Waving at both the teary-eyed boy and the tall man, I turn around to leave.
I don't know what it is that I'm feeling in my chest, but suddenly something feels heavy. Is it possible to get so attached to a strange child I've never met before... so quickly?
"Wait! mummy!"
I stop, turning around I watch the boy extending his arms towards me. I walk closer towards little Isaac with a bright smile, "Yes sweetie?"
"I miss you," the boy whispers as if he doesn't want his father to hear.
"Isaac," the man warns, "Your mother has somewhere to go."
I glance at the man and then at the child. For a second I just stand there, under my umbrella, watching the father and son pair in front of me.
"I'll miss you too, Isaac," I respond finally, and then on impulse and my embarrassment, I lean forward and place a kiss on both of his cheeks.
"Now be good, okay?" I smile, waving as I begin turning around and walking. The further I get the quicker my feet begin to move.
"I miss you, Mummy!"
I hear a distant yell and I feel my heart constrict. Rain begins to pour down on the city again and I quicken my steps, hoping that the distance will make me feel less of a loss for a child that isn't even mine.
Still, under the thunderous rain, I let myself have a moment of weakness. I let myself act because of my emotions. I don't think I'll ever forget this afternoon, this situation, and this child. This rainy afternoon will always be something that I'll remember every time it rains.
"I'll miss you too, Isaac. Take care of yourself. Please don't go running out of restaurants during rainy afternoons. It's dangerous. Please don't call strange girls 'mummy'. Please be healthy and well. Maybe one day... we will meet again."