A.N.
Sorry for the long wait lovelies. I have been very busy with school and performances and had sadly little time to write. I didn't want to upload something I wouldn't be proud of. So it took a little longer to upload. But here it is! I hope you like it. Have fun reading!
xo Madelon
❖Gabriel❖
Hit
Flashes of yesterday evening keep showing in my mind.
Slam
No matter what I do to block them out, they keep coming back
Hit
My knuckles feel sore but I keep going. I have to
Slam
Trying to fight the flashes away
Hit
But the memories of last night win.
~~~ Flash back ~~~
The walk to Anna's apartment building was silent. Neither one of us said a thing or made a sound. It felt a little awkward, but at the same time a strange feeling of ease came over me. I look over at Anna and see that she is in deep thoughts. I wonder what they are about.
Once we are in front of het house we stand still.
"So..." she says after a little while. "So..." I answer back with a small smirk. She turns her face towards me and I see a cute smile forming on her lips.
God, this girl is starting to make me feel things I shouldn't feel.
"Thank you for walking me home." She starts "Even though you had important things to take care of. I really do appreciate it."
I nod, still a little confused about my feelings. I'm not supposed to feel anything. I'm trained to block all my feelings. It's a weakness and in my world we can't have weaknesses.
I look next to me, only to notice that Anna already had started to walk towards the door and away from me. My hand grabs het arm out of reflect, not ready for her to leave yet.
She turns around slowly looking at me with confusment in her eyes.
Standing on the small stairs in front of her apartment building, she seems the same height as me, giving me the perfect view of het beautiful face. And those eyes ......
Stop it Gabe!
"You are hurt!" she says and her hands make their way towards the small cut on my face.
"It's nothing. Don't worry about it." I grab her arms softly, trying to pull her hands down.
"It needs to get cleaned. Otherwise it might get infected." She argues back, still looking at the cut.
"Anna, you seriously don't need to worry about it." I say, tucking in her arms. "Someone already looked at it and cleaned it. You won't be able to see it in a couple of weeks."
Her eyes still didn't move away from it. So I went on "Plus, the other guy looked much worse."
That did switch her attention away from the cut and her eyes snapped towards mine. We look at each other for a little while. Her beautiful, sparkling brown eyes are all that I can see. And for a moment, I forget everything ells. The only thing on my mind is her.
Slowly we move closer to each other, our eyes close and I can feel her breathing on my face. Her smell clouding my mind, the smell of a wild rose, and I'm completely lost in her.
We lean in closer, our lips almost touching.
Suddenly I hear something echoing in the distance. It sounds like a gunshot.... And then my brain starts to work again.
"No!" I move backwards, creating some space in between Anna and me. Her eyes flutter open and she looks at me with questioning eyes.
"This is a mistake."
"What?" Anna asks sounding disappointed and a little angry at the same time.
I look away from her, afraid that when I look in her eyes, I would change my mind.
"Go inside." I say, my voice sounding cold.
"Gabri" "I SAID, go inside." My voice echoes from the houses around us and I make the mistake to look at her.
"You are an asshole." She says to me and disappointment shows from her face.
I want to make her feel okay, but I know this isn't a smart thing. I shouldn't have been here."
"I am much worse then that." She looks at me one last time and walks away from me, closing the door with a bang, leaving me alone in the street.
❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖
I hit the sack again as the flash back slowly fades away.
I know I made the right decision. She would only be a distraction. I am a leader of a gang. The man need me to be focused. I can't afford to show weaknesses.
One last time I hit the sack. The robe breaks and the sack flies into the wall.
Walking back upstairs I pass Raphael who is already waiting for me with a towel and a bottle of water.
"Feeling better?" he asks and I take the towel from him to wipe my face.
"I did what I had to do." I throw him back the towel and that I walk away.
❖Anna❖
That asshole!
I am still lying in bed, thinking of what happened yesterday evening. I've been tossing and turning all night unable to get some rest.
Why did he have to be so cruel to me. As if he hadn't embarrassed me enough by pulling away from a kiss, he had to send me away as well. Who does he think he is?
"What is wrong with him!" I say towards the walls. But then I realise something.
"What is wrong wit me?" I promised myself I wouldn't let a guy get to me like that. I promised I wouldn't let anyone act towards me like that. Not after what I've been through. Not after everything that happened at home.
I get up from the bed and prepare myself for a shower, hoping that It could help me clear my mind before I have to go to work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The liberary was very quite today. Or well, it's 'quite' everyday. But today it had this weird feeling over it. As if everyone had decided not to come close to the liberary.
Not that i'm complaining, after a bad night this is the best way to get at least a little rest. Plus, i've been able to study for my exam.
After I finished organizing the books, miss Lowerlands walked in.
"Hello Anna, how is your first day going?" She asks while handing me a cup of tea.
Ryanne Lowerlands is a lady of style. You could see that in everything. Even the way she hands me a cup of tea seems full of elegance and style.
"Thank you." I say as I take the cup from her.
"My day is going well. Not much people have been here though."
Miss Lowerlands sighs and nods her head. "That happens a lot here. Not many people can appreciate a real book anymore. Now a days, they are all online or looking on those screens of theirs. Though I still believe that the real books are better and can give you much more than those epages."
I giggle softly, epages. Not completely sure if I should tell her how it is really called.
"It will get busy here though." Miss Lowerlands continuous. "The exams of the colleges nearby are coming up, that is the one time the younger people know how to find this place."
I smile as she keeps talking about how everything was so much better without all the screens and how people forgot about books.
It's funny how someone like her always ends up with a history lesson.
After we finished our tea, miss Lowerlands walks off, saying she has some administration to do and leaves me to take care of the library.
At the end of the day a small group of people had come in and I had finished most of my studies.
Once I'm sure that all the books are back where they belonged, I say my goodbyes to miss Lowerlands and start my walk towards my apartment.
The weather is soft today, the tickling of my nose telling me that spring is just around the corner.
A bird flies by and I smile when I hear its song.
❖Unknown❖
I sit in my car, waiting for her to come out. After a couple of years I finally found her, I finally got her back.
She thought she could run.
She thought she could be free.
But no matter where she goes, I will always find her back. It might take a little, but in the end she will always be mine.
I see her walking out of the doors from this dump she calls home and start to follow her from a short distance, needing to know where she works. That way I will always know how to find her and she won't be able to walk away from me again.
❖Anna❖
Walking to the pub, I can't shake the feeling that I'm being followed and somewhere I wish Gabriel was here with me. But as soon as that thought comes to my mind, I get a little mad at myself.
I don't need a guy to protect me. I'm perfectly capable of protecting myself.
I stand a little taller and walk straight to the pub, ignoring the whining feeling.
❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖
It's a normal night at the pub. The usual's are here and I even spotted River and Raphael coming in and sitting in their usual spot at the back. But there is no sigh of Gabriel. Not that I was waiting for him.
I shake my head, trying to order my thoughts and I push those of Gabriel to the back. I need to focus on my work.
The evening passed and nothing special happened. After closing the pub I say goodbye to Christy and go home.
Opening the door to my apartment I drop my bag and jacket on the coat rack. I click on the lights and notice something lying on the doormat. A letter.
I bend down and pick it up. Turning it around I notice that the envelope is blank. There is nothing on it, not even a stamp. So that means someone must have brought it here themselves.
I open the envelope and take the letter out.
Reading it, I feel myself get dizzy and my legs give out, making me fall on the ground.
This can't be happening.