Haggar VS Zangief.
The group quickly gathered around the tv with a fresh set of snacks and drinks. All were excited to see the two titans clash, but twilight was quick to notice that her southern friend Applejack looked a little hesitant to watch the next episode and constantly looked towards the clock when she thought no one was noticing,
"Is there a problem Applejack?" Twilight whispered as she walked up to her blond friend.
Said mare jump, not noticing her lavender friend approaching her. Quickly giving her a awkward smile Applejack traid to come up with an excuse on why she was acting so funny but croumbled under the Princess of friendships stare.
"Sigh... sorry Twi I don't mean to ruin everyone's fun, but i'm just a little distracted with some things back at the farm." admitted the blond mare
"Oh? Whats wrong AJ, if there somthing going on you know me and the girls will always help." offered the young alicorn with a smile, which earned her one in return.
"Well you see Twilight me and my family have been dealing with... well you see." stuttered the blond mare at the end.
"Yes?" urged Twilight.
"We've been dealing with a... bugbear." Applejack admitted in defeat.
"A bug bear!?" hissed Twilight quietly as to not alert their other friends.
"Shhhh! Quite! It's not that big of a deal." Applejack said hastily
"No big deal!? Don't remember how much trouble a bug bear gave us?" whispered Twilight.
"A'h remember what that old varment did but this isn't the same!" argued Applejack.
"This is a young bugbear. It's barely half the size of the first one and me and Big Mac can chase it off ourselves." she explained. "But by the time we do it's already torn down one of our tree's and ate all of the apples on it." she explained further with a sigh of frustration.
"So that's why you've been nervous? Twilight questioned. "You're worried that it will attack the farm again while you're gone?"
"Ya... and i was wondering after this episode, that it would be ok for me to run back to my farm real quick and check up on things?" asked a hopeful Applejack.
"... Sighe. Fine, but it this keeps up then me and the rest of the girls are helping." declared Twilight. Giving her apple friend a hard look, as to dare her to challenge her decision.
After that was done the two made their way towards the rest of their friends and Twilight hit play.
Interlude
(*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston*)
Wiz: Capcom has produced hundreds of deadly warriors, but few can best these two hulking leviathans.
Boomstick: Haggar, the mayor elect of Whoop ass...
Why would he spank a donkey?" questioned a confused Pinkie Pie.
Wiz: ...and Zangief, Russia's red Cyclone.
"So cool!" praised rainbow dash.
Boomstick: These two wrestlers have never met in person but their rivalry is legendary and it's about time they duked it out!
"Their rivalry is legendary but they never met?" questioned Spike.
"It must mean their fans are the one's who keep arguing and fighting over who's best." explained rainbow Dash. All too familiar on how crazy some fans get over their idols. (Scootaloo was still in trouble for picking a fight with a girl who thought Lightning Dust was cooler than Rainbow Dash.)
Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick and it's our job to analyse their weapons armour and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Haggar
(*Cues: Muscle Bomber/Saturday Night Slam Masters - Mike Haggar (Original CPS1 Arcade Version*)
Boomstick: Standing 6 foot - 7 and weighing 266 pounds, 30 of which is probably in his manly mustache, it's Mike Haggar!
"That's an awesome mustache," Spike said, awed by the magnificent facial hair.
"I'll say." cooed Rarity as she fanned herself. Totally stunned by the muscles on the first contestant.
Wiz: For many years, Haggar was a champion wrestler of Slam Masters until being elected mayor of Metro city, a metropolis overrun with street gangs.
"And he's a mayor? Mayor Mare better watch out," Pinkie said, wondering if he's better than their own mayor.
Boomstick: Too bad there aren't more badasses in office. Most mayors would just put up laws against crime or increase the police force but Mike takes matters into his own hands.
Background
Height: 200 cm / 6'7"
Weight: 121 kg / 266 lbs.
Fighting Style: American Wrestling & Scottish Backhold
Mayor of Metro City, former wrestler
"I would so vote for him if he was running for mayor," Rainbow said, imagining Haggar running Ponyville.
"As would I, darling. It's refreshing to see a higher authority fight for their city," Rarity said
American Wrestling
Grabs
Holds
Twists
Quick Strikes
Submissions
Tie-Ups
Wiz: Haggar is a former pro American wrestler, specializing in grabs, holds and quick strikes. He's of Scottish ancestry and proud of it, even having a scottish flag on his gym. It's likely he has also trained in Scottish backhold wrestling, which involves bear hugging an opponent and keeping your balance while overpowering theirs.
Scottish Backhold
Focused on Balance
Grappling
Pressure
Sustained Grip
No ground work involved
"Hmmm interesting." Applejack remarked, as the wheels started to turn in her head.
Boomstick: Haggar's got a devastating move set ranging from Suplexes, Body Splashes and his own invention, Spinning clothesline double lariat, which Zangief stole for his own use. To even the score, Haggar copied Gief's spinning piledriver. When Haggar isn't overpowering people with his pure manliness, his weapon of choice is a blunt pipe. Hey, he's a mayor that kicks ass and recycles.
Notable Moves
Suplex
Piledriver
Backflip Drop
Body Splash
Spinning Clothesline Lariat
Spinning Piledriver
Steel Pipe
Favored melee weapon
Decent Projectile
"That's good!" Fluttershy commented.
(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)
Wiz: Even after his victorious election, Haggar continued his vigorous training.
Boomstick: By Piledriving Sharks!
"WHAT?" everyone screamed in either excitement, Rainbow and Spike, to awe, Rarity and Applejack, or in terror for the rest.
"This guy's my hero," Rainbow and Applejack said at the same time.
Wiz: It appears Haggar wrestles Bull Sharks, one of the deadliest sharks on Earth. These can grow up to 11 feet long and weigh up to 500 pounds. Wrestling these proves Haggar's proficiency in the Scottish backhold, as he keeps his balance against the thrashing sharks until he can piledrive them into the beach.
Bull Sharks
7-11 ft. long
500 lbs.
Very dangerous
Swims near shores often
Wrestling demonstrates Scottish Backhold
"And he piledrived one of those ghastly creatures?" Rarity asked, not sure what to believe. Next to her, Fluttershy felt bad for the poor animal.
Boomstick: Next "Jaws" movie needs more Haggar!
Wiz: Unfortunately, during his time as mayor, Haggar was undoubtedly forced to prioritize politics over training. It's likely he didn't have much time to learn new techniques or train against many other wrestlers. As a result, he uses moves and skills from an older era.
"As the life of a ruler." commented Twilight. Knowing the pains of not practicing your craft as much as you used too.
Boomstick: They seem to work pretty damn well!
Wiz: He certainly hasn't lost his touch.
Announcer: "Mike Haggar, the candidate who puts people first." Haggar growls and kills a Bald Eagle who has perched on his arm.
"Birdie NO!" cried out fluttershy.
Zangief
(*Cues: Zangief Theme (Atomic Fusion Remix) - Street Fighter II*)
Wiz: Zangief stands 7 feet tall at 350 pounds, weighing in as one of the strongest on the Street Fighting circuit.
Background
Height: 214 cm / 7'0"
Weight: 181 kg / 400 Ibs
Hobbies: Wrestling, cossack dancing, vodka drinking
Fighting Style: Russian Wrestling & Sambo
Boomstick: And as a testament to his manliness, check out that wicked shin hair!
Rarity shuddered at the amount of hair.
Wiz: Zangief is a champion wrestler in Russia, using push and pull techniques to throw his opponents off balance. He also specialises in Sambo, a combination of wrestling and martial arts. He's not skilled in leglocks and chokeholds but his grappling, submissions and groundwork are second to none.
Russian Wrestling:
Grabs & holds
Tie-Ups
Throws from Tie-Ups
Push & Pull opponent to throw off balance
Counter-Attacks when foe loses balance
Boomstick: Zangief's best moves include his double Lariat, Atomic Suplex, flying Power bomb and a wicked backhand called the Banishing Flat, a move Zangief learned specifically to counter projectiles! Zangief... Hates... Projectiles!
Sambo:
Mix of wrestling & martial arts
Uses tactics from Vikings, tartars, & golden horde
Grappling, ground work, & submissions
No leg locks or chokeholds
"He would hate twilight then." a cheeky Rainbow Dash said. Getting said lavender alicorn to roll her eyes at her friend.
Wiz: His signature move is the Spinning Piledriver, which he learned after getting caught in a cyclone while piledriving a bear.
Notable Moves:
Double Lariat
Flying Power Bomb
Atomic Suplex
Body Splash
Banishing Flat
Spinning 'Screw' Piledriver
"B-but that's not scientifically possible," Twilight said, trying to wrap her head around this impossible feat.
"Well he did it," Pinkie said as she munched on a cupcake.
"Hmmmm I could use that..." muttered Applejack as she kept her full attention on screen.
Boomstick: That's the most awesome thing I've ever heard!
"I know," Spike, Rainbow and Applejack said in amazement.
Wiz: Actually, wrestling bears has been Zangief's favourite training exercise since he was a kid. Supposedly, he wrestles Grizzly bears, but these are not native to Russia. It's far more likely he wrestles Ussuri Brown Bears, which can weigh up to 1500 pounds, well over twice the size of a full grown Grizzly.
Ussuri Brown Bears
Up to 1500 lbs.
Twice as large as grizzly bears
Rarely in packs
Occasionally he wrestles polar bears
"That bigger than Harry," Fluttershy muttered.
Boomstick: Holy shit! He piledrived one of those into a Tornado!?
"What a beast!!!" screamed a ecstatic Rainbow Dash.
Wiz: Battling such a massive beast corresponds with his Russian wrestling training perfectly, forcing the bears to lose their balance and knocking them out cold! Zangief is a loyal Russian through and through, always fighting for his country rather than personal gain. He is often employed by the Russian President as the country's official fighting representative. That said, Zangief is pretty dimwitted, more a follower than a leader. He fights with instinct rather than reason.
"Well at least he cares for his people." fluttershy added.
Boomstick: All the more reason to get out of his way!
Zangief: (Attacks the Duck Hunt Dog and piledrives it) Mmmmhhh! Me Zangief broke you!
"Not the puppy!" cried fluttershy.
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set.
Boomstick: The Unstoppable-Force against the Immovable-Mayor!
Wiz: Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: Wait up, first I gotta pay for my lazor guided Kitten Cannon.
"What!?" The girls screamed in disbelief. This guy was going shoot kittens out of a cannon?! How mosterouse!
Wiz: Lazor what?
Boomstick: Thanks to Netflix. Suc it up you babies this kitten cannon is important to me! (sound of a cannon shooting and then the screeching of a cat)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the trailer played out everyone was quick to choose sides.
On team Haggard: Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity.
And on team Zangief: Spike, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash.
Applejack liked them both so she was rooting for them both.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
Death Battle
(*Cues: Intro Theme - Saturday Night Slam Masters*)
Zangief and Haggar stand in a deserted street. Haggar stretches his muscles and rips his shirt while Zangief removes his cape, points upwards and laughs, and drinks a bottle of beer before crushing the bottle.
"Things are about to go down." a wide eyed Rainbow Dash commented
FIGHT!
(*Cues: Lobby Screen - Street Fighter IV*)
Haggar and Zangief both grab each other and look each other in the eyes before Zangief throws Haggar behind him. He tries to attack Haggar with a flying kick, only to get blocked. He tries to punch him, but his punches get blocked too.
(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)
After dodging Zangief's lariat, Haggar suplexes him, attacks him with a lariat and kicks him. Zangief suplexes Haggar twice and piledrives him before throwing him across the street.
"This is getting intense" Twilight stuttered.
As Zangief advances, Haggar kicks him and attacks him with a steel pipe but Zangief counters with the Banishing flat, knocking him into a building, which Zangief enters to finish the duel. As they fight, they also go upstairs. A couch, a globe, Princess Peach, a Dragon ball, Big the Cat and Pedobear get thrown out the building.
"What kind of crazy building are they fighting in!?" yelled a confused spike.
(*Cues: Historic Distillery Stern - Street Fighter IV*)
Haggar and Zangief's fists hit each other and Haggar tries and fails to hit Zangief but Zangief suplexes Haggar near a window and, after a few blocked punches, throws himself at Haggar, sending them both out the window.
"Watch out below!" screamed Pinkie Pie.
Zangief tries to pile drive Haggar into the pavement, but then Haggar begins to turn the tides and tries to piledrive Zangief, then Zangief tries to piledrive Haggar, then Haggar tries to piledrive Zangief. This goes on for a while until they both hit the pavement. As the dust clears, Haggar and Zangief are both seen lying down on the pavement. But Haggar has blood around his head, indicating his death, then, Zangief stands up, points both arms upward and laughs triumphantly.
K.O.!
Results
(*Cues: Ultra Street Fighter IV - The Next Door: Indestructible (Instrumental)*)
Boomstick: Aahh.. a great man has fallen today...
"Me too." mourned everyone as they wiped away strays tears. Sad that such a great man had died.
Wiz: Haggar and Zangief's similar moveset appeared evenly matched, anticipating each other's moves and countering with their signature attack.
Boomstick: He's led a long productive life, kicking ass, ruling Metro City and keeping the beaches safe from rogue sharks...
"Stop it! I'm going to cry." wailed Rainbow Dash.
Wiz: Not only is Zangief almost 100 pounds larger than Haggar, he's also 13 years younger and been training all his life.
"Youth and experience always wins out in the end." muttered a sad Applejack.
Boomstick: I'm gonna miss that wonderful mustache!
"US TOO!!" everyone cried as they all became a blubbering mess.
Wiz: Zangief's youth and lack of political agenda were enough to give him a slight edge.
"Sniff... that's also another strong factor as well." commented Twilight sadly.
Boomstick: Poor Haggar. He may piledrive sharks, but Zangief's bears were three times larger and probably twice as dangerous! Sure Haggar can grapple a half ton shark without falling over, but if Zangief can push around 1500 pound bears as a hobby, Haggar didn't stand a chance.
Wiz: He definitely put up a great fight though.
Everyone agreed with that full heartedly.
Boomstick: That, he did. He just found his window of opportunity.
Wiz: The winner is Zangief.
Everyone cheered for the red cyclone of Russia, but quieted down as the next battle was about to be announced.
Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle.
The next contestants weren't two... but four!
Four anthropomorphic turtles with different colored mask where shown on screen with the following message.
BATTLE ROYALE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As soon as the episode was over, Twilight hit pause so everyone could get up and stretch and move about.
"Well girls before Twi starts the next episode, A'h need to make a quick run back to the farm to check on things." Applejack said.
"Well don't keep us waiting too long Applejack." replied Rarity.
"Also try to bring some cider for the next episode." requested Rainbow Dash.
"Haha. sure thing girls." the southern pony said as she made her way back home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (later at sweet apple acres) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We now find ourselves in Sweet Apple Acres. The only place to find a tasty apple in all of ponyville. To which a certain monster would agree to. For we now see a creature devouring the fruit from one of the Apple Family's pride and joy Apple tree's.
It appears to be a hybrid between an insect and a bear. It possesses a bear's body with the fur coloring of a panda, along with two additional arms, as well as insectoid antennae, wings, and the stinger of a hornet, and it was currently stuffing it's face with the livelihood of a certain blond mare.
"I knew I would find you here today while the farm was unguarded." Applejack said, as she marched her way towards the gluttonous monster.
Said monster could only stare at the approaching blond pony before letting out an amused chuckle. It then tossed the apple it was eating aside and charged it's soon to be dinner.
But Applejack was ready for this and when the greedy creature took a swing at her, she quickly ducked under the first swing and then she turned her back to the beast and reared her legs back and then she bucked the monster right in the face with all her might! Launching it into the air, where it was too stun to use it's wings to fly.
Not letting this chance pass by, applejack jumped into the air and quickly wrapped her legs around the beast and did the impossible. She started to spin in mid air, faster and faster until her and the bugbar where nothing but a blur that crashed into the ground, kicking up a cloud of dirt.
Once the dust settled the scene we are treated to was of the bugbear's defeat! As it laid there unconscious and with a large lump and it's head right where it's cranium made contacted with the ground.
And our hero stood over the beast with a triumphant grin plastered on her face. But fatigue quickly caught up to her and she soon fell on her rump in exhaustion. But her grin was still in place because she was too proud of what she did to let some sore muscles get in the way of her happiness.
"Hahaha! How do like them apples? I did it!" Applejack cheered to heavens.
But unbeknownst to her, in the very heavens where the masters of the sacred piledriver that she imitated in her fight with the bugbear. Looking down at her with proud smiles.
"It seems we have a worthy successor to our art my Russian friend." said the mustached mayor of metro city.
"BWAHAHAHAHA!! True my friend! Little pony makes mother Russia proud with that battle with monster bear!!"laughed the red cyclone in pure joy.
"HA agreed!" laughed Haggar, as he and Zangief made their way through the pearly gates, Knowing that there was someone out there to carry on their legacy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHAPTER END. NEXT TIME, TMNT BATTLE ROYAL!