~THE HEARTBREAKER (Damien Black)~
I'm going to regret this.
Yeah, I am.
As I slid inside the cab, I glanced at Roxanne's house and I'm slowly dying inside. She just offered me...herself, and I'm on my way to the airport to fly to Michigan. My mother called, somehow finding a way to contact me, and she demanded I come home. Denying her wasn't going to happen either since I haven't seen her in almost four years.
I'm not proud of it but if I want to completely destroy my past, I had to distance myself from my family. It's about time I appear from behind the curtains and see them. During this time of year it can get a little hectic for my mother and I'm ninety-nine percent sure that she's on the edge. Which is not good for me since she's going to be up my ass the entire time.
Arriving at the airport, I paid the driver then continued on my way inside the lobby. The flight was preparing to leave and by the grace of God I made it on time. My seat was next to the window how I like it, and next to me was some lady on her laptop.
Sitting down I took out my cell phone and texted Roxanne that Christmas would be canceled. Two minutes later I got a reply giving me the OK, which I guess was good but only meant that Roxanne herself wasn't ready. So it's a win-win in a way.
Messages between me and Roxanne
Why are you up anyways? It's almost two in the morning.
Oh shut up Damien I'm watching a horror movie with my peeps.
I thought I was your peep though.
Hell no! Ur my boo, duh!
Boo? Uh, you do realize you're texting an English teacher. Using slang is innapropriate.
Well ur dating a student so...We R even.
I could still fail you though Ms. Grey.
And I cud report u for immorally making out with a student.
You act like you don't like it.
I don't like it....I LUV it!! >.<
Even through text you're still adorable.
Dude I'm 17! We dnt like being called adorableeeeee.
Touché, well I'm going to sleep now. Good night baby.
Aw, okay. Goodnight hottest man on earth. :D
*****
Waking up, I realized the plane has already landed and we were in Michigan. Everyone was getting off, and I joined as well. Once I was off the plane, outside waiting for me was the last person I wanted to see when I came back. Just like looking into a mirror, I saw a much more matured version of myself. A.K.A. my older brother Donny Black.
Strangely enough we both look almost alike, however, we are not twins. In the small town we lived in, me and him were always regarded as the hottest guys in town. Both of us were graced with a masculine body, green eyes, and a smile that can make a girl faint.
However, I didn't get the pleasure of seeing that smile.
Infact he just stood there.
Emotionless.
In our family, it's genetic that we all have this emotionless expression. Even though each of us have it, none of us can tell whether we're angry, or just...emotionless. Most of the time I'm mad but it's been almost ten years since I've seen Donny's. That was when his ex-girlfriend came out of some guys house, two minutes later he beat the shit of the guy and dumped the girl.
Ten years ago.
That's a very, very long time.
Approaching Donny I made sure to keep a pretty good distance. "Donny."
"Well if it isn't drop off the face of the earth Damien." He replied, in a very teasing manner.
I didn't notice until I got closer but behind him was a little girl, who weird enough had the same eyes as...No way. He had a kid! Shit. She looks about four years old too, which means I missed everything that had to do with this little girl. Before I left I promised Donny that I'd be there to see the birth of his first child.
Yeah.
He's must assuredly pissed.
"Papa, who is that?" She said, her voice low and soft.
Donny patted her head and replied. "That, Amber would be your Uncle Damien."
"Uncle Damien?" Confusion filled her eyes.
I smiled and kneeled down. "Yeah Amber, I'm your awesome Uncle—"
"Awesome, please. Well he can do magic." Donny chuckled.
Amber looked up at Donny. "Magic?"
"Yeah sweetheart, he can vanish for a very long time out of no where then magically re-appear."
Without a doubt.
This man was pissed.
And this would be the longest day of my life.
*****
We arrived somewhere, but it was not moms house, and my guess is—it was Donny's. Okay, it wasn't a guess. Once Amber saw the house she immediately got super excited.
"Mama made some cake, I can't wait to eat it!" She squealed.
Kids were cute, had to admit it, I don't think I'm father material though which is why I've made the harsh choice of never having one. Donny's life was great, a gorgeous wife, and a cute kid. A life that I wouldn't mind having but can't, since I can't nor deserve to have one.
Donny unbuckled Amber from her car-seat and placed her on the side-walk. Almost instantly she ran to the door, however, she tripped on the ground in the process. Five seconds later she brushed it off as if it never happened and skipped the rest of the way.
"Nice house Don." I said, seriously amazed.
Well maybe not amazed, Donny did finish Law-School and was probably getting mad-cash. This too would have been me if I hadn't dropped out and suddenly changed careers.
Donny chuckled. "You should've had one this nice too bro, but you make shitty-life choices."
Amber knocked on the door, and two seconds later it opened, behind it was a gorgeous brunette with pale blue eyes. Very curvy too, I must say. This made me grin, Donny must have alot of fun with this one.
"Holy macaroni if it isn't the ghost of Damien Black who came to finally haunt us with his presence." Brooke said, a wicked smirk forming on her face.
Almost forgot how sarcastic and feisty she was.
Donny walked towards his family and gave his wife a kiss. "Hey sugar."
"Hey honey-pie," She said smiling at her husband, then she turned her attention to me. "Well come on, let's get inside we're going to attract alot of attention if both you hotties are out here."
Don's eyebrows rose. "He's nothing compared to me sugar, remember that."
"Of course not, he's hot and all." Brooke covered Ambers ears. "But there's only one man I'd want to see naked."
My brother naked.
Yuck.
This was getting weird.
We all walked inside the house, the interior had a homey feel to it and I kind of liked it. This didn't last long because Donny gestured me to go outside with him, which only meant I was going to get the nagging of a life-time. No one could save me from it either, Amber was eating a slice of cake while watching Spongebob and Brooke was in the kitchen cooking.
Just like the inside, the backyard had this nostalgic and calming feel to it. Something about it reminded me of the backyard Donny and I had as kids. A nice garden, basketball hoop, some toys and a pretty large pool.
Donny handed me a beer, then leaned on the banister preparing his lecture.
"It's sad that we grew up together, and yet I can't understand you at all." He went straight to the point.
No sugar-coating it now. "I'm guessing we're not talking about Football."
"Damien, seriously. Don't start that bull-shit, I haven't seen you in over four years and you act like it's nothing." He replied, not happy with my remark.
After taking a swig of my beer, I answered. "Because it is nothing, I just needed to get away from this place--from the family."
"Without even so much as a goodbye, and an explanation?"
Donny was already starting to get pissed, but it didn't faze me. "You wouldn't understand, when I left...I planned to have left for good. Coming back here was not in my agenda but you and mom had to go find me."
"We spent thousands of dollars to find you, obviously you didn't want to be found but we didn't give up. Mom has been worried sick year after year, when you left and never came back we assumed you were either dead or gone for good."
I placed my beer down. "I'm guessing someone tipped you then, and as in someone--it was Donna."
"She called last week, said you were fucked up or something--and she told us you were seeing someone who isn't appropriate for you. Which she never clarified but I sure as hell hope you will."
That fucking bitch. "None of your business who I see Don."
"I'm tired of your shit Damien, why is there always secrets between us?" He snapped. "We used to be tight, never a mystery about you, now it's like you're a fucking stranger."
This was true, me and Donny were really close. There was nothing we didn't know about each other, it was like we were each others halfs at one point. Then that incident happened and I completely shut him out. Donny was my brother, he loved me, but if he ever heard of such a thing...even he wouldn't forgive me.
Donny wasn't done. "I know you Damien, something happened and you're running away from it. Which isn't like you...which means something bad happened. You dropped out of Law-School, and left the fucking state. Then four years later I have to get a call from the towns biggest slut who tells me where you are, which sparked suspicion with my wife I must add. Started an argument, my woman does not need to feel insecure for your bullshit."
"You know what? Who the fuck asked you to do this? If I left there was a reason. Not your business, not moms and it sure as hell isn't Donna's. Alright, I cut you and mom off so what? That's my problem—"
Donny interrupted. "What about Tristan? That fucker was like a second brother to you, he has been looking for you for as long as we have. Mom and I didn't tell him you were coming because you should be the one to tell him. Have a talk with him. Did you know that he's been so worried and obsessed looking for you that Alex and his relationship went rocky----and they broke up?"
My eyes widened.
No.
Fuck that was the worse thing to hear.
The first girl I ever fell in love with is single, is single because of me. I've destroyed there relationship without even being here. This made the box inside me crack, crack into a bunch of pieces. That monster inside me is slowly coming out and now that it knows it's prey is free. Stopping it will be like trying to push mountains.
Those evil and cruel thoughts filled my head. The many things I wanted to do to her, the things I needed to do to her. Alex is single now, there wouldn't be any guilt—nothing to destroy. I've been shutting her out of my mind for years and now it's come to bite me in the ass.
I want her.
I fucking have to have her.
—No.
I can't.
There's someone far more special that I have, and will return to. Roxanne, I can't forget about her...my troublemaker.
Donny noticed my anxiousness and he became instantly worried. "Bro...are you okay?"
"Fuck!" I yelled. "You've done it now Donny, this is exactly why I didn't want to come here. I'll ruin things all over again...just like...just like..."
He paced over to me, grabbing my shoulders. "What's wrong? Damien snap out of it."
"I'll destroy everything I've worked so hard for...fuck...fuck...fuck!"
Suddenly, as I ranted on and on, Donny lifted his hand then slapped me across the face. "Calm down!"
"Papa?" Donny froze, then stared down at the now-scared little girl.
He released me and kneeled towards Amber. "Sorry to scare you sweetheart, me and your Uncle were just play fighting."
"Yeah..." I agreed, hoping that this white lie would work.
She smiled instantly and even giggled. "Papa's scary when he's play fighting."
"Can you go check up on mommy for me? I promise I'll be out there in a second." He winked at her.
Amber nodded her head, then headed inside. "Mommy!"
Donny shot me a worried look. "Don't know whats up, but whatever it is, you need to fix it."
I stayed silent, two seconds later he went inside.
*****
Having dinner with my brothers family was pretty nice I have to admit, they were all tight with each other. Brooke cracked some jokes, some inappropriate than others and Amber talked about her TV shows. Donny listened just like I did, both girls blabbered all night and not in the bad way.
Once we were finished, Donny took Amber upstairs to give her a bath since it was his turn. Both happily walked up the staircase ready to have a blast in the bath-tub. Never would I have imagined my older brother, the same guy who was asked to be in several gangs because of his tough guy exterior, to be giving four year old's a bath.
Brooke and I sat in the living room, she was surfing through the channels. Women watch these ridiculous reality TV shows about other women who just argue and gossip all day. I don't understand for the life of me why that is entertaining but can't judge them for it.
"I'm not going to question you about y'know what Donny questioned you about. What I am going to do is explain to you what you've caused during your absence." Seeing Brooke not smiling made me a little apprehensive--that women smiles even if there's no reason to smile.
I sighed. "There's no need to do that—"
"Yeah there is, Donny was worried to death about you when you vanished without a word. He barely gave me any attention and sad to say I was on the verge of dumping him...for good. However, once he realized worrying about you pushed me away he got his shit together. I'm not against him being worried about you or wanting to find you, what I am against is being neglected because of it."
She frowned, then continued. "He believed that you would come back eventually, that you would come back to see the birth of his first child. On the day of Ambers birth he was heartbroken, like someone ripped his heart out of his chest. Luckily he was able to forget about it once he held her for the first time. But two days later...he went into a depression."
"Why are you telling me this—?"
With a cold glare, she hissed. "It took six months to get him out of it, six! Again I was prepared to leave him even though he was the love of my life. Dealing with someone that depressed kills you inside, then one day he saw Ambers first steps and snapped out of it. After that he started to come alive again. He forgot about you, well that was up until last year..."
"Last year?" I asked.
She shook her head. "When we visited your mothers house for Thanksgiving, a man went knocking on the door. A very handsome man must I add, couldn't say it because your brother was there but he was handsome. Tristan I believe his name was. Your mother called him to join them since he was like family? I don't know either way he joined us. Then the topic of you came up...blah, blah, blah...a week later they decided to hire a detective and bam a year later we found you."
"Listen, I get it I've almost ruined your family and the relationship you share with Donny. But don't think for one second that I did it for no reason whatsoever. You do not understand what it's like for me to be here... in this town constantly being haunted by the past I left."
"But that's no reason—"
It was my turn to speak, so I gave her the coldest look I can conjure then continued. "Until you have walked in my shoes, seen what I've seen, and done what I've done then you could judge. This town is the ultimate reason why I can't live the life I wanted. Including the people here. Donny was lucky, he found himself a beautiful wife who did not fuck him over, and even had a kid with him. My past will not allow me to be blessed with such a gift."
Brooke stayed silent, then opened her mouth and said. "Damien the past is the past, remember people forgive...we all make mistakes. I'm not comparing my past to your's, but whatever happened cannot prevent you from happiness. Nothing can prevent you from having a child either, unless you shoot blanks then that's a different story." She teased, and smiled. "All I was saying is...you have a family who cares about you deeply. Don't just blow them off."
We both went silent, and watched the TV.
*****
The remainder of the night I decided to rest early.
Next morning I woke up the sensational smell of Brooke's cooking, and was instantly hungry. This time when we all ate together Donny and I actually joined in the conversation. We even talked about some funny moments from the past like when Donny got hit in the face by an incoming ball thrown by one of the neighbor kids.
Right after breakfast, everyone including myself hopped inside Donny's truck and drove to my mothers house. I'm a little apprehensive about seeing her, Donny was tough but my mom...is worse. She's pissed already as it is and I know she's going to bitch like no tomorrow.
When we arrived I took in the familiar and nostalgic house infront of me. My childhood was based on this house and it made me smile just looking at it. The basketball hoop Donny and I used to use as kids was still hanging on the garage door.
Once everyone got out of the car, all it took was one slam for the front door to swing open. However, it wasn't my mother who opened the door...
It was
It was...
Tristan