Emma
I could kill Lina.
Well maybe not kill but I am having some very vivid images of some major bitch slapping going on.
Seriously, she's my best friend but there were times during this lunch when I wanted to lunge across the table and pummel her to the ground.
Thankfully I am not saying this because she's being rude to Harry. On the contrary she is the absolute imagine of a polite typical Englishwoman.
What I'm annoyed about is all the sly and bitchy glances she kept giving me. I know what she's getting at. Lina think's I should tell Harry but I honestly don't think it's a great idea right now.
I mean I'll tell him eventually but the pressing issue here is the situation with Jessica. It's more real now that we are back home. Jessica can be lurking around anywhere, just as Sam popped up out of the blue earlier today to me.
Don't know how Harry would handle if that happened to him with Jessica.
But it's going to isn't it? Sooner or later he'll have to face her again.
To my knowledge she's not locked up somewhere although she really should be.
If there is anyone who deserves to rot in a cell it's her. And she better pray that she never crosses my path because if I see her there will be hell to pay. I won't seek her out, at least not in the near future because I don't want to risk making things worse for Harry.
However if she seeks out either me or Harry the claws are coming out!
"Wow Emma, why are you looking so tense."
Suddenly all the attention is on me, four eyes blazing back at me trying to figure out what the hell's going on in my head.
Beating up a bitch, that's what I'm thinking about.
Harry leans in closer, kissing my temple and rubbing my back. "Come on babe, relax a bit."
"What he said. We're only talking about my wedding."
Lina goes to sip her drink but keeps her eyes focused on me, sending me a message. She's telling me to be honest, talk to Harry about what happened today and what might happen to him. She's saying that I need to grow the fuck up and be responsible for this relationship and make it work as well as I can. She's saying that I need to chill and stop questioning and just get on with it.
It's time to be honest...tonight.
"Agreed. Em this isn't going to be us for a long while, don't worry."
I snap my attention back to Harry completely surprised by his words. Harry has been thinking about this eventuality.
From this I get two things. One, Harry definitely wants to get married which I knew. And two, Harry doesn't want to get married anytime soon.
My heart pinches at this.
Why?
I stare down at my empty plate completely surprised by my own feelings. I've thought a lot about this and I never prepared myself for this possibility. It's not what I want so why do I feel like my heart has sunk to the floor?
I don't want to get married.
No, marriage is not an option.
Or–
"Emma, so you're coming with me right?"
"Huh?" Completely oblivious to the fact that she was talking
"Wedding dress shopping, you coming?"
"Ya course." I nod my mind still reeling from Harry's comment.
Suddenly I feel a swift nudge to my shoulder and when I turn to look at the culprit I find a very cheery, yet surprised Harry staring down at me.
"What?"
"You're really going wedding dress shopping. You?" he says it with a chuckle which only spurs on my anger
I furrow my eyebrows at him, severely pissed that he's finding some enjoyment out of this fact. I can go wedding dress shopping if I want to. No that I really want to but he shouldn't be so surprised.
Isn't he the one who wants this?
Seeing that I'm really annoyed Harry wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him. "Come on baby you know I love you, just surprised is all. Never thought I'd see you in a wedding dress."
And there he goes again with the marriage comments. Of course now I don't think he really wants to get married. Well I don't want to but he should. I mean that's his plan right? This is what he wants so why does he suddenly sound so against it?
And why the hell am I freaking out over this fact?
I take a deep breath trying to calm my heart suddenly feeling very overwhelmed and nauseous yet again.
Well this is definitely the stress, no question.
"I'll be right back, have to use the restroom."
Thankfully neither of them seem to notice my behavior as I stand up, Harry following behind. "Okay Em, I'll go pay and then why don't we head off, unless you and Lina still have things to do."
"No you can take her. I'll text you later Emma." Lina says with a triumphant smile.
What the hell does she have to be triumphant about?
I'm finally able to get to the bathroom where I immediately splash water on my face.
It doesn't help that much but being able to focus on something else rather than my crazy feeling on marriage is a relief.
That's how I'm acting afterall. I don't want to get married so I should be happy that Harry isn't worried about our union in the eyes of god anytime soon.
Or is he. Nothing is straightforward right now.
Unless that was a smoke screen, set me off the trail so that it's a huge surprise when he does ask.
Oh my god is he going to ask?
How the hell am I going to get out of this one? We just got back together, stronger than ever, kind of, how can I say no?
Would I say no?
I want to be with Harry but I don't want to get married because I think it does more harm than good. But if he does ask me and I say no then everything will be over after that but Harry has to understand where I'm coming from and I–
Fuck I need to stop.
I splash some more water on my face and try to rid my mind of everything. But I can't. With weddings and annoying encounters and the question of honesty I can barely stand up let alone think straight.
"Emma are you okay in there?"
Thankfully it's only Lina. If Harry walked in here I would probably keel over with stress and completely freak him out. Lina already knows everything so it's not that much pressure.
She comes in and leans against the door. "You know all this is because you plan on lying right?"
"It wouldn't be lying, just withholding the truth for some time."
She rolls her eyes. "And can you really live with the pressure for that long because with your pale skin and the way your hands are shaking I don't think you can."
"Honestly I'm fine, just not feeling too well. Foodposioning."
Lin looks at me deceptively which only pisses me off and makes me even more stressed. Again her eyes tell me exactly what she's asking.
I'm sure with my answer.
"Are you entirely sure?"
"Yes. Just tired and stressed."
"So you're going to tell him then."
"Yes. I'll tell him."
Surprisingly I don't get a quippy comment to my answer. She just stares at me in shock. Glad I can still do that, surprise her a bit. "Hmmmm, seems I got you on that one." I say very pleased that she's speechless for a moment.
"That you did, as long as you actually do it."
"I promise I will if only to get you off my back" I snap frustrated and tired with her overbearing attitude.
"Hey, whatever gets the job done."
"Glad you agree." I say sarcastically as I make my way to the door which she is still blocking. "Am I not allowed to leave now?"
Her eyes go soft as she look at me. "You do know I'm only pushing for your own good right?"
I take a moment to think and relax my mood. None of this is her fault and although I'm not really in the mood for her methods, I can't blame her for trying to be a good friend.
"I know that, but will you lay off for a bit? I'm tired and can't deal with your overbearing ass at the moment."
She smiles at me, highly amused by my response.
Well I'm glad she is.
"Good. I'll text you later and good luck with Harry."
I find Harry outside by his car, a dimpled smile crossing his face when he sees me. Just the sight of him relaxes me.
Maybe this will be alright.
My entire body warms up as he wraps his arms around me and gives me a tight hug. I quickly reciprocate pressing my cheek against his chest.
This is absolutely perfect.
My boyfriend is seriously the best hugger in the world and being wrapped up in his arms I am convinced everything will be okay.
I'll tell Harry and he'll be fine with it. Well as fine as he can be with what happened. It's not like I went out and looked for Sam. It was a coincidence on my part. I'm sure he'll get overprotective after this but as long as we're okay I don't mind.
"Hmmmm, I missed you." Harry mumbles in my hair giving my head a kiss before pulling back and looking down at me.
"We just had lunch together." I chuckle.
"Doesn't matter, I miss you all the time when you're not just here."
"Right here isn't a bad place to be," I smile against him, more than happy to stay wrapped up in his embrace for as long as I can.
"Good cause I won't be letting you go any time soon."
That reassurance is all I need.
With one arm still wrapped around me, pressing me to him, he rests his other hand on my cheek and just looks at me.
I giggle under his gaze, my heart rate speeding up with every second he looks at me. "What?"
"Just looking."
"Not much to look at."
"Rubbish," his eyes sparkling down with happiness. "Most beautiful site in the world I say."
I push on his chest playfully, trying not to blush. But he keeps hold of me and rubs his thumb over my lips while licking his own, hunger in his eyes. "Time for a proper kiss I think."
Naturally I smile at how severely perfect he is before our lips connect.
And boy is this a proper kiss.
If I walked by a similar display I'd probably yell at the couple to get a room. Luckily we are.
His tongue parts my lips immediately and sends warms shivers through my whole body and I feel worlds better. Everything falls away.
Nothing else exists. I don't have to tell him anything, we have no crazy exs, and this feeling is just like it was when we were alone on holiday.
We're together and perfect.
And then the kiss is over and it all comes flooding back but he doesn't notice.
Harry is breathless when he pulls away. His eyes are closed and a sweet plump smile is planted on his face.
If only things could stay this way.
"Why don't we go home Em." His eyes slowly opening and meeting mine. "Finish this off in bed."
"Cheeky."
"You love it."
And with one final kiss he walks me around the car and opens the door for me.
"Ahh, you're such a gentleman."
"Always. Mum taught me well." I take a seat as I see him walk around the car and set himself in the driver's seat.
"Speaking of my mum..." his pause gives me the great urge to jump out this car and run to the hills. First marriage talk and the now his family.
Honestly don't know how much more I can take.
"Well I was wondering if you'd like to come with me when I visit them in a few weeks. Mum would love to see you again, if you'd like."
The only thing that settles me a bit is the fact that Harry's nervous. His words are extra slow and his voice deep. Still, he reaches over as he begins to drive and places his hand on my thigh. His large hand dwarfs mine as I tangle my fingers with his. "I don't want to push you or us, just think about it?"
I take a deep breath, the stress coming back. I know I have to be honest. "Of course I'll think about it. I haven't seen them in ages."
"Really?" He peers over with a grand smile on his face. "You'll come?"
"Ya," I say with a weary voice. "When is it though, first polo match coming up next month."
"I'll have to check but we can go whenever. I'll work it out."
We drive the rest of the way in silence. Can't say I was comfortable though because all I can think about is how I'm going to bring up this whole Sam thing. Tonight is off to a great start but I know with what I have to tell him it'll go downhill.
This isn't going to be easy. I just hope Harry takes it as well as he did in St. Bart's.
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A/N: I'm going to try and use twitter a bit more to keep my readers updated in the progress of my stories so I hope you go ahead and follow me. My username is @ccalianese I might make a special Wattpad account at some point so keep a look out.
Hope you liked this chapter. Next we'll see Harry's reaction.
Did anyone else see Harry on the Jonathan Ross Show? "Harry Styles I can see your balls from here, put them back." Seriously funny. And his performance was wonderful as always.
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All the love, C.