My head is tucked into Clarke's chest when I wake up. I can tell by her breathing she is awake but I don't want to get up just yet. So I lay still taking in her scent and warmth. Man I'm never breaking up with her again. Well that's after we get back together I guess. I move closer to her it may have only been a week but it was the longest week of my life.
"Morning" Clarke whispers when she realizes I am awake.
"What time is it?" I should have picked Saturday to have a talk with her because now we have to go to school.
"Nearly ten" I shoot straight out of bed.
"Clarke what the hell? We have school." I begin scrambling trying to find clothes.
"Lexa" I ignore her trying to get ready. Abby would kill us if she knew we weren't at school. "Lexa relax. It snowed like crazy last night. We don't have school." I stop and look at her the jeans I was in the middle of putting on wrapped around my ankles.
"You serious?" she smirks obviously enjoying my semi pants less state.
"If you don't believe me then look out the window." Sure enough there was snow on the road and ground."Cuddle?" she asks with the cutest expression on her face reaching her arms out to me. I step out of the jeans and climb into bed not bothering with pants.
"You know you could have stared with the whole snow day thing." I say as she lays her head on top of my shoulder. "It would have saved me from the complete moment of panic I had."
"I know but it was fun." She lifts the edge of my shirt making circles on my hip bone. "Besides I'm still mad at you so you deserved it." She jokes but I know there is truth behind the words.
"So what are we going to do on our day off or at least what's left of it?" I change the subject because I don't want to start anything.
"Cuddle. Watch a movie. Eat. Make up sex. talk to my mom about the little situation. And then hopefully eat again. Sound good?" She sits up and winks. I look at her not sure if I heard her correctly. "What?Not feeling the talking to mom thing? me neither glad were on the same page." She gets out off bed to go to the bathroom.
"Clarke" I stand outside the bathroom door. "We're talking to your mother. Or at least I will but you have to be there."
"Fine." I here the toilet flush and the sink turn on and then off. "I still can't believe you told her." She says as she opens the door.
"Well I was worried about you and upset with myself. Besides if I remember correctly didn't you tell her something about me?"
"Don't know what you're talking about." she walks past me back into my room. I chase after her picking her up from behind. "Lexa put me down" she giggles as I spin her around in a circle then sit us both down on the bed so she's in my lap. She turns to face me her legs wrap around my back.
"I'm sorry." I say as resting my forehead against hers. "I love you." I kiss her and she kisses back pushing me down on the bed. She kisses me harder pushing her hips into mine. I pull her closer to me even though we can't get much closer. She sits up and I think she is going to take her shirt off but instead she gets up.
"Sorry that's item number four on the list." she smirks and I sit up grabbing her hips.
"But" I kiss her chest. "Please"
"Nope."
"Girls" Abby shouts from downstairs. "I think we need to talk." Clarke and I look at each other guess we aren't following the order after all. I stand up putting on some pants. Before walking out the door I grab both of Clarke's hands.
"Hey. If it gets too much just squeeze my leg and I'll try to handle it." She nods clearly upset and nervous. I don't blame her.
** Self harm (and other sad things sorry)**
Clarke and I walk down to the kitchen. We sit her hand already resting on my leg. I put a hand on top of hers giving it a reassuring squeeze. Abby sits across from us. I smile at her. We sit in silence looking back and forth at each other. Guess I'll speak first.
"So I guess I'm coming back. If that's okay with you?" I add that last part in just incase we aren't on the terms I think we are.
"That's perfectly okay but not the reason I called you all down here." Clarke looks away from her mom fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "Clarke honey is there something you would like to tell me?"
"Nothing you don't already know." She doesn't look up.
"Do you remember what happened last time?" she nods. "if it wasn't for Wells you wouldn't be here." Who the hell is Wells? I feel a squeeze on my leg.
"Sorry to interrupt but what happened last time and who is Wells?" I know that's probably not what she wanted me to say but I want to know. I wait for Abby to speak. Instead Clarke does.
"Wells was my best friend until he moved away when his father got some fancy job." She doesn't look up. "When the cancer took my father I went down a really dark path. Wells was the only person I told about my cutting. He promised not to tell anyone as long as he got to check them everyday to make sure they weren't getting infected or anything. Well one day a girl saw them and asked what happened. I said a bike wreck she believed me. That was the final straw for Wells he knew it was only going to get worse. That day after school her told a teacher and then they contacted my mom. He texted me to tell me not to hate him. And I wanted to but I couldn't because I knew he was trying to help." She stopped talking but I knew the story wasn't finished. I waited.
"I rushed home from the hospital that night." Abby continues. "And when I got home I found Clarke. She was alive but barely. Thank the heavens I got there when I did." Clarke and Abby are both crying now. I pull Clarke into my shoulder which only makes her cry harder and as much as the tears want to escape I don't let them.
"I don't know what to say." She has never mentioned any of this to me. I didn't even know her dad died of cancer.
"Mom" Clarke speaks up. "I'm sorry. It's not going to happen again. I promise."
"Honey I know." Abby gets up and walks around to hug her.
"I'm sorry" Clarke says again. This time turning to face me her eyes never meeting mine. "I shouldn't have done it and I really shouldn't have showed you. I understand why you had to get away. I was being stupid. I thought it would help and it only made things worse."
"Hey look at me." She looks up and my eyes water. "Clarke, baby its okay. We are going to be okay."
Abby moves, Clarke and I both look up. "Sorry I was just going to leave the room."
"Oh its okay Lexa and I are going to watch a movie in her room."
"Alright. Have fun. "
"Clarke I'll me right up okay." I kiss her cheek and she walks up stairs.
"Thank you Lexa for telling me." Abby says when Clarke is out of ear shot.
"No it was the least I could do." I look to the ground. "She never told me any of that. I didn't even know about the cancer or Wells. It kind of makes me feel like a terrible girlfriend."
"You're not. I'm actually surprised she made it as far as she did. It's just not something she is very open about."
"Well I'm glad I know now. Is there anything else you need me to do?"
"Get her back in her room if you could. She has refused to go in there all week. She made me get her clothes for school and judging by her being in your room now she still doesn't want to go in there."
"How do you expect me to do that?"
"You'll find a way." She leaves the kitchen and I walk upstairs.
I get to my room and grab Clarke's hand. I guide her to the closed door that leads to her room.
"What are we doing?" She asks as I turn the door knob.
I smile as I pick her up. "Item number four."
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Hey guys that should be the last of the sad chapters for a while hopefully. I have ideas for more fun less heavy chapters!! I have exactly one month until school starts back up for me and I have managed to read zero of the four books and write zero of the three 6-12 page essays plus I'm taking a summer class now. So updates might become less frequent because I have to face responsibilities at some point :( Thanks for reading!!