I'm sorry for being a little late, I had some busy things and stuff. Please forgive me :c
I hope y'all like this new chappie c:
Please comment, your thoughts and opinions make me happy c:
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Niall
I tighten my grip on the book, biting my lip and letting my eyes scan the words.
Hot tears are rolling down my cheeks, burning my skin and leaving small trails behind, looking like lost rivers.
My nails pierce deeper into the book's cover, and leave small dents behind.
I don't even know why I'm crying.
It isn't a sad book, or a sad story.
The words placed on the thin paper don't even touch me that much.
I'm reading the words, but I just can't read the story.
It's like my brain is messing everything up, turning it into other stories.
Stories I recognize, but do not fully know.
Pianomusic is playing in the background, leaving a open but at the same time closed atmosphere.
It's like the music pierces right through my heart, leaving beautiful wounds behind.
I don't even know what I'm thinking.
It's just that music has an effect on me that nothing else has.
Music can make me remember.
Liam and I have been making a lot of music together lately.
It's my escape.
And I guess it's Liam's escape too.
We're escaping together, getting away from a place we don't want to be.
What is that place?
Why don't we want to be there?
To be honest, I don't even know what my own place is.
I don't know where I'm running away from, neither do I no where I want to go.
But it doesn't even matter where I run actually.
I'm always stuck in between.
Tearing my eyes away from the pages of endless words, I look up, taking a glance into the room I'm in.
It's almost completely dark.
A dimmed light is shining from a small lamp next to me, making it possible for me to read the words written down.
But I'm not reading anymore.
Instead, I'm thinking.
Something I've always done a lot more than most people do.
Well, I don't really know how other people think, but judging by how Greg talks about it, I probably think more than that.
Greg's gone home.
He still has a job, and he can't stay with me forever.
He told me he would call every day.
He didn't.
After three days, he stopped calling me every day.
I felt sad, but at the same time, I didn't do anything about it.
I didn't grab the phone to call him, no, I just waited for him to do that.
And that way the time got slower, and the days passed without him talking to me.
Bringing my hand up to my cheek, I place my index finger on the cold skin, waiting for a hot tear to touch it.
It doesn't.
The tears are gone.
A small click can be heard from the background, and the music goes off.
I sit in silence.
My book placed on my lap.
My hand still on my pale cheek.
My eyes staring into the distance.
Nothing can be heard, as my breathing gets slower and my heartbeat seems to go mute.
Even though nothing is happening, the world seems to go slower, the time ticking away in a leasure pace.
My hand slides off my cheek, slowly moving over to the lamp and flicking off the light.
It's completely dark now.
My eyes make their way into the black slickness, searching for something but not trying to find anything.
I've come to the point where I love the darkness.
The blackness, the empty feeling, the fact of being lonely, I've seemed to accept it all.
I knew it would happen.
Just like I've always told myself; I always come to love something I used to hate, and hate something I used to love.
It's an endless cycle of feelings which I can't seem to get out of.
Just like a lot of things.
I'm just stuck everywhere and can't move on.
This is a point where everybody is supposed to just move on with their normal lives, but I got stuck and am too late to even make an attempt to move on.
All the chances are already gone, taken by someone faster than me.
I let my eyes flutter closed, my breath hitching and air thickening.
My fingertips play softly over the fabric of my jeans.
My breathing gets slower and slower, and I feel tiredness taking over me.
Am I going to fall asleep?
I haven't slept well these past few days, always waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep again.
I let my shoulders sink into the soft orange chair, and move my head until it rests on one of the armsrests.
Slowly drifting into dreams, I let out a last puff of air, before the sleep really takes over my entire body.
Up to dreamland.
It's a little lighter around me as I wake again.
Sheer sunlight is shining through the grey curtains, landing directly on my face.
The rest of the room is still dark, like I'm the only thing that lights up a little.
Groaning, I move my body a little, feeling my skin rub against the chair's brown fabric.
Wait, wasn't the chair orange last night?
Shrugging, I let my feet drop to the ground, feeling the cold wooden floor underneath my toes.
Maybe I should get some breakfast.
As I stand up, swaying a little because of the fast movement, I look around.
Everything seems to be different.
The wallpaper is faded yellow, and at some places it's ripped off and is dirty wood showing.
Why are the walls wooden?
They weren't before.
There's an old and small grey tv standing close to the window, the screen only showing blackness.
Grey curtains.
Massive dark doors.
Dirty kitchen.
Suddenly I recognize it.
I've been here before.
This house, this place.
I take a step, hearing the wooden floor protest underneath my bare feet.
It's like the house doesn't want me to move, wants me to stay still and keep quiet.
But I can't.
Everything around me is silent, making it possible for me to hear my heavy beating heart pump in my ears.
My feet slowly take my body with them, wondering over the growning and creaking floor.
Again I'm walking over to the two doors, feeling my heart wreck my chest.
My breathing gets faster and more hollow, and my hands are shaking.
I don't want to go there.
But I need to.
With every step the room gets darker, as I walk away from the only bit of sunlight.
The closer I get, the bigger the two doors grow.
Just like last time.
It scares me how everything is so familiar, but not-known at the same time.
I don't know where I am.
I don't know what I'm doing here.
And I don't know what's going to happen.
All I know is that behind the left door is a bathroom.
That I've already been to.
And I never want to go back there again.
So, instead of making my way to the left door, I stumble over to the right.
The darkness and the size of the door make me feel small and vulnerable.
Something is itching, crawling underneath my skin and slowly making it's way everywhere throughout my body.
I slowly bring my hand up to my arm, scratching it.
As I bite my lip harshly, I take one more step towards the dark door, now standing directly in front of it.
I don't want to go inside.
But I need to know.
I need to know everything.
I need to have answers to all my questions.
If I don't go inside, I will never know what's wrong with me.
I slowly place my hand on the doorknob, my heart thumping in my chest.
I'm not as nervous as last time.
Maybe because I think that there can't be something more horrible.
Something more disgusting than seeing yourself wounded.
Almost dead.
Sighing, I close my eyes for a few seconds, te silence creeping into my brain and ringing in my skull.
I can't do it.
I'm not strong enough.
What will be inside?
I softly push the handle down, watching the door slowly opening.
Is this what I want?
Am I willing enough to see this?
Yes, I am.
With heart beating all through my body, hands sweating and arms shaking, I push the door open, taking a glance inside of the room.
At first there's nothing wrong.
It's a bedroom, with a big bed and a wardrobe in the corner.
There's one small window right on the opposite of me, showing snow outside.
I thought it already stopped snowing?
Suddenly a loud scream can be heard, and I jump up, immediately turning to look at the ground.
A woman is laying on the wooden floor, blood surrounding her.
A familiar woman.
Short blonde hair, pale skin and slim fingers.
But there's something wrong.
She has no eyes.
There are two horrible wounds where her eyes are supposed to be, blood pouring out of them and smudging against her lips as she keeps screaming.
I can't do anything, only stare at her.
A loud shout can be heard, but it goes in slow motion.
I bring my head up, everything shaking, and look to see a man standing next to the woman on the ground.
He shouting, his face red, eyes bloodshot.
My heart is thumping loudly as a high beep forms in my brain, screaming over everything and making it hard for me to think.
I sway from side to side, feeling tears running down my pale cheeks.
I want to run.
I don't know what's going on.
The woman on the ground grabs a hold of my leg firmly, making it impossible for me to get away.
She's still screaming, blood pouring past her teeth and going down her chin and neck.
I look up to see the man grinning, slowly taking steps towards me.
Is he going to kill me?
Am I going to die?
I try to pull on my leg, trying to get away, but the woman is holding on to my leg firmly.
My heart is pumping the blood through my ears, as I can still hear the loud beep pierce through my brain.
Suddenly gunshots can be heard from behind me.
Scared, I push my hands tightly against my ears, falling to the ground.
I hide my face in my lap, as I scream.
The gunshots keep going, making the ground shake and my thoughts stop.
I can't concentrate.
I don't know what's happening.
I scream louder and higher, trying to overmaster all the other noises, but I can't.
Other screams can be heard.
Someone falling to the ground.
Cries.
Growns.
The womans grip on my leg slowly loosenes, and I can hear her trying to breathe heavily.
It's not working.
She's slowly dying.
I open my eyes, and look at the woman laying in front of me.
She openes her mouth, and lets out one last scream.
"NIIAAALL!!!"