POV - Preston
Warnings: Panic Attack/ Depression
Word Count: 1200
Note: Thank you IamGearsGaming for reminding me of the ship name!!!
-Begin Chapter-
It was quiet in my room right now, both Cal's were busy in my home office, arranging some last minute things for our flight and such tomorrow before we went to bed. This left me to lay in the middle, my usual spot, and just stare at the ceiling, my mind deep in thought. A dangerous thing, I know.
I let out an audible sigh and focused back on what I had just been thinking about, the person who had messaged me out of nowhere.
You see, a couple days ago, I got a random message on my Kik from some named Red Roses. I was confused about who it was and how they had my Kik. Only a very small amount of people knew I had a Kik and I kept it that way, ya know, for privacy reasons and such. Fudge, I even changed my username to Caleston and my profile picture that was of both Cal's, just to throw people off.
Curious, I had opened the mysterious message and the first line I read told me that it could be one of two people in just a few words.
Red Roses: You wore dark purple ladies underwear as a joke the last time we went skiing.
I realized quickly that it was either Mitch and Jerome.
Needless to say, I was in shock. I had blocked those two and Rob in every way to make sure none of them could get anywhere near me, Lachlan, or Vik. The pain I went through with Rob was enough, I didn't need anymore.
I felt a shudder run through my body as I heard his words echo in my head.
Waste of space.
I used you.
You are nothing.
Go kill yourself.
I could feel a tear fall down my face as I tried to ignore the clearness of Rob's voice and push it out of my mind. I don't know why this is still bothering me. It's been over a month since I had last heard his voice, seen his face. Why is he still there, in my head, mocking me?
I felt a shudder go through my body as more of Rob's voice rolled through my head, making me cry more, my mind going dark.
Maybe he is right.
The thought rang through my head and my eyes opened wide in shock and I knew what I needed to do. I couldn't just lay here, letting those thoughts run through my head, holding my rational mind captive as they pushed me in the wrong direction.
I never wanted Callux or Cal to find me in that state again.
I quickly shot out of bed, dressed in Callux's shirt and a pair of boxers, and ran towards the door, hurrying to go find my safe haven.
I could feel myself begin to panic, my body full on shaking by the time I reached the office.
There Callux sat in Cal's lap in the office chair, both of them looking at something on the computer, talking softly to each other. Neither of them noticed I had entered the room so I opened my mouth to gain their attention but all that came out was a strangled gasp as I felt my breathing becoming erratic.
The sound caught their attention though as they both turned to see me in the doorway, clinging to the frame for dear life.
"PRESTON!" screamed out Callux, jumping up from Cal's lap, running over to get to me. Thankfully he was able to catch me before my body collapsed from under me, allowing me to fall into his arms. My hands reached out, grabbing his shirt, fisting it tightly as I moved to rest my head against his shoulder, seeking his comfort.
I've had too many of these attacks, especially since I last saw Rob, the events of that day prompting some horrific nightmares and panic attacks. I didn't know why though, he wasn't here, he couldn't hurt me.
"Oh, Preston." I heard Cal say, his hand now on my back, rubbing soothing circles as I clung to Callux with all my might, my tears rolling down my face as I gasped for breath.
I was safe. I had both my boys, I was safe.
Even as I thought that my body began to shake harder and my breathing became out of control.
"Preston, baby. You need to calm down and breathe okay? Cal and I are right here, you are so safe baby, just please, breath for us."
I nodded my head against his shoulder and began working on my breathing, taking in Callux's unique, musky scent as I did, the familiarness helping me.
"That's it baby." praised Cal, "Keep going, you are doing such a good job. In and out."
I nodded my head and continued to work on my breathing, all thoughts of Rob being pushed back from my mind. Even the hatred I now felt for him was pushed back.
I hated him so much.
He hurt me in every way he could think of.
He tried to take me away from the loves of my life.
I hate him.
So much.
Taking one particular deep breath, I worked to push Rob from my mind and focused on calming down for Callux and Cal.
"That's it, baby, just like that." Callux praised as well, his hands on my lower back, under my shirt, helping me feel grounded from the feeling of his skin on mine.
After a few more minutes I felt my body completely sag, my hold on Callux's shirt loosening as I moved to just lay on him, now completely exhausted.
"Oh, baby." one of them muttered. I couldn't tell who, I was starting to fall into my space, this small space of nothingness that happens every time I have one of these attacks.
I could feel myself become lost in my head, nothing in there, just me floating.
I could barely feel as a pair of arms pulled me back into their chest and picked me up and began walking with me, probably heading towards the bedroom.
I wonder if Red Roses get's taken care of like this. I thought randomly as I somehow moved my body to cuddle with the person who was holding me. I took a deep breath of their scent and I smiled slightly as I took in the warm scent of Cal.
I felt my smile fall though as I thought of Red Roses again, worry beginning to flow through me even as I was laid down in my bed carefully by gentle hands.
I hope Rob hasn't hurt him or that the other person has been able to protect him from that monster.
I didn't realize my two boys had joined me on the bed until I felt my body slowly become surrounded by two sets of heat, two scents mingling together in my nose and filling me with a sense of peace.
"I love you Preston." said one.
"I love you as well Baby." said the other.
I didn't have the energy to reply but I am sure they know. They have to know how much I love them both.
I hope Red Roses is getting as much as love as I am. He deserves it, so much.
-End Chapter-
A/N: Okay, if you guys do not figure it out this chapter, it will be revealed next chapter. It is now time to reunite everyone together and get ready to celebrate Vik's birthday! Yeah!
Also, I am sure a lot of you are going to question why Preston is thinking about Red Roses like that already. All shall be revealed not next chapter but the chapter after that. :)
I hope you enjoyed reading this and may your day be filled with love, smiles, and laughs.