I couldn't take my eyes off of my babies. I had just had a heck of a time breastfeeding. It's not as easy trying to get two babies onto both of your breast at exactly the same. They were currently sleeping when I heard a knock at the door. Considering that I'm supposed to be leaving today, I should be dressed. I'm not. I'm exhausted and still in my hospital gown in the bed. I guess this is new motherhood or my version of it.
"Come in," I said.
To my surprise, it's Vanessa. She had rattles in her hands. She pressed on a shy smile. "May I come in?"
I nodded, checking my sleeping angels. I am obsessed at seeing the rise and fall of their chests. I remember high school where I learned about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. I'm not letting them out of my sight for months.
She stepped in pausing near the twins and touching their little feet. She pulled a chair up to my bedside. "Um, thanks for seeing me. They're precious. I always wanted to be a mom. I envy you."
"You don't-"
Sh cut me off. "Please, let me say this. If I don't get it out now then I never will."
Well, at least it was just the two of us. "Please continue," I replied, softly.
"When Logan and I met, I was in my early twenties. I was already a super model and had my own money. I told everyone we were trying. They say to wait a year before getting medical attention. I did. Logan and I were both tested. They grouped us in the twenty percentile of unexplained infertility. Year after year, test after test.
"The two of us even tried a surrogate. The fertilized egg never grew. We went to the Life Clinic as our ninth try to fertilize our egg and then that failed and they told me to stop. I can no longer attempt to be a mom. The funny part is I've had an abortion before I met him. You sow what you reap, I suppose.
"Then you come in. You're young, fit, attractive, and pregnant with Logan's dream child-children. I would have traded my soul to be in your shoes. Countless nights I've cried, and you were impregnated on accident. I thought the world was having a laugh at my expense.
"I felt Logan begin to slip away from me. He whisked you away from home. He cared for you. I was furious when I saw the contract he made for you. It was so out of character for him. I know because when we began dating, he demanded that I take care of my share of everything. Did you know that?"
I shook my head.
Vanessa continued. "So, I was a little upset when he just handed you so much. I see the way he looks at you. I thought that if I had the babies he'd look at me like he does you. I still think that. I haven't changed my mind. I'd die for what you have. Don't think I don't know what you're up to; naming his child after him.
"Logan told me about the kiss you two shared. Oh yes, he confessed. He said it was best if we took some time apart. I am not going to allow you to take away my husband. I have been the doting wife because I refuse to let him think he can have you.
"I will seduce him as I've always done. I will take your children because I would rather die than let you have what is mine by right."
I figured I had two choices: Scream my head off until someone got here and kicked her out or insult and physically assault her. I have babies now. I chose option three. "If you're finished with your tirade then get the hell out."
She smiled standing up, pausing at my children once more so she could drop the rattles off near them. They couldn't even hold the things, yet. She opened the door and Logan was standing there. The look on his face suggested he heard ever single word. Vanessa attempted to cover herself. "Logan, I wanted to see the twins."
"Save it, Vanessa. I saw you come in here and I've listened to every word you said. Leave, I don't want you anywhere near me or my children. As of now, we are on that break."
"Logan-" Vanessa started.
"Don't test me," he snapped.
She walked away leaving the two of us staring at one another. I decided right then that I certainly did not want to talk about it. "You could be useful and grab my bag on the sofa."
Logan walked over to the sofa and grabbed the bag. He placed it on the bed near me. I sat up glancing at the sleeping twins once more. I pulled the cover off of me and stepped out of the bed. I should really drag the bag into the bathroom and change. I'm not going to. For one, Logan has already seen the goods. He spotted me breastfeeding, watched me give birth and saw a doctor stick his hand there so yeah, nothing special to hide anymore.
I slipped my gown over my head and paused to stare at my body. My breast haven't begun to drop yet, but they were huge. I had to be a D or Double D from my normal C cup. I'll have saggy breast I bet. I still looked pregnant. I no longer looked nine months, but I looked about six or seven. The doctor said it's because the uterus hasn't fully contracted just yet. I should be normal in a week or so. By normal he meant that I'll be carrying around the extra forty pounds I gained when I was pregnant with these babies.
The plus side in all of this, no stretch marks. I never cared about weight before, but I'm super glad I've got no marks on me.
My body became aware of the fact that I was being stared at by the goosebumps on my arms. My eyes rose up to find Logan staring at me. He was scrutinizing my body just as I was. When his eyes met mine, I could tell he wasn't sure if he should turn away or keep looking. He chose to keep looking. At least he didn't seem disgusted by what he saw. It just wasn't necessarily flattering either.
I dug through my bag slipping out my under clothes which I put on. I pulled on my sweats. The door came open and there was Mark. He didn't catch me naked. He did seem very surprised to find me in just my bra. He shielded his eyes. Logan was pissed that he just barged in like that. I pulled my shirt over my head.
"I'm decent," I called out.
Mark removed his hands from his eyes. In his hands, I saw he had both of the car-seats. His eyes bounced between Logan and I.
"He saw me give birth. I consider that way more invasive than seeing me naked." I pulled out the twins clothes. They were both very blue. I threw them down. "I don't have any girl stuff."
Mark stepped forward smiling. "Check it out," he says showing me onesies.
I laughed. "Awesome." The outfits were perfect for the warm weather out here. "Thank you." I looked at Logan. "Are you going to help me? Grab Logan and get him dressed," I tossed him the outfit.
He stepped forward seeming to fall out of his daze. "Yeah, sorry, thinking."
"About how your life will never be the same? I thought the same thing about my body," I joked.
Logan smirked. "Something like that I suppose." I knew he meant Vanessa. He was in such an awkward position with the both of us.
I watched him struggle to unswaddle Logan Jr. He wasn't very stiff anymore. I helped to unswaddle him. I already had Tegan dressed in her outfit. The twins were both sleeping peacefully while we moved them all around.
I let him and Mark strap the twins in the car-seat while I watched. They seemed to be eager to do something. I hated when both of them were in the same room. It was so awkward the way the two of them seemed to tiptoe around one another. I honestly couldn't identify my relationship with either man.
After sneaking out the back of the hospital surrounded by security guards and a huge sheet to block anyone from seeing what was behind it. This proved to be good because I could hear the paparazzi attempting to snap photos of anything they could see. The five of us were able to get nestled into the back of a limo. For some reason, we needed a limo. I thought a mini van would do just fine, but we were in a limo. Logan and I sat on either side of them. I kept checking the seat belt every five seconds. They were completely oblivious. I pressed a kiss to both of their foreheads.
Mark cleared his throat. I looked over at him. "Uh, I should tell you what you're about to walk into."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
He looked toward the front of the limo and then back to me. "There is a gathering at moms place for you."
"Oh," I said. "I don't mind stopping there for a moment."
"Your mother's there."
My whole body became rigid. "What?"
I glanced at Logan. "I have no idea what he's talking about."
I turned to Mark. "I contacted your parents."
I narrowed my eyes. "We don't even know if they're my parents. How could you give them false hope? I'm not ready. I told you."
"I didn't give them false hope. All they needed for DNA was some of your hair. I even sent them a saliva sample. I sealed the envelope and they did theirs. The DNA test came back positive. They really wanted to meet you. I convinced them to hold off. They got restless when they saw on the news that you were in labor. They flew in yesterday. I told them to come over today."
I was so pissed off. I spent a lot of time with mark so it was pretty easy for him to obtain my DNA from anything. The news did mention I was in labor. The public was crazy about superstar Logan and so they followed my pregnancy like a hawk.
Logan had my back. "Mark, you had no right to meddle in her life."
"It's already done," Mark replied like that made everything all right.
I kept my eyes on the twins. "What do they want from me?"
"They want to meet their daughter. You should also know they contacted the police regarding your father. They have issued an APB for him to brought in for questioning and are likely going to charge him with kidnapping."
"Fine," I turned to Mark. "I'll meet these people. But you and I are not okay."
He nodded softly.
Logan looked over at me. "Are you sure? You don't have to."
"These people lost their child. I do owe it to them and myself to meet them. I want to. I just-I don't think it's something you can ever be prepared for. My whole life I've been the one not caring about family. It's hard for me to believe there are people out there who truly care."
Logan opened his mouth to say something, glanced at Mark, and then decided against it. I couldn't help but wonder if he'd say he cared. Did he? I wasn't sure if he cared about me as a person or if he simply cared about me as the mother of his children.