'Ugh what is that' I mumbled to myself when something loud woke me up early in the morning. It was a beeping sound. The sound of my cellphone.
' Damn him' I cursed and looked on the screen who has been calling me.
Deep down I knew it was him, I didn't call him yesterday after I was done visiting Lucia and Jamie. I went straight back home because I was just too tired and I wanted to figure some things out for myself.
Things like how I need to feel around him and what are we axactly? We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend, at least not official. Boyfriend and girlfriend, didn't we outgrew that fase? The boyfriend and girlfriend fase? How do they call it now a days? Just partners?
I got so worked up in my mind I forgot to answer the phone, so when it rang again I picked up instantly.
'Hello' I said
'Finally' he said sounding all grumpy
'Why are you sounding like you had a bad day'
'Bad morning because you didn't pick up your phone, or last night at least. Or called me back after you were done visiting prison' he said making me feel all guilty.
'You didn't even call me when you got home, I didn't know you were safe Alex. You have to tell me or at least send a message that you are back home. I worried sick about you' he said.
'You don't need to worry about me, I can handle myself you know that'
'Do I? you never tell me sh*t' he said getting angry
'Don't you get angry on me now, look I'm sorry it's just- you know what never mind I got to go. I have somewhere to be. And I need to do some more schoolwork I talk to you later' and before he could answer me back I hang up on him.
I knew he wasn't happy with me right now, but I can't just adjust to this new lifestyle. This lifestyle he has known for his entire life. A lifestyle he grew up with. A lifestyle that is unknown to me. I am not used to people to care so much about me. Even though my father had more affection towards me than my mother. He never acted like that. They just didn't care where I was. Hell, even at night it didn't bother him at all. I even sat at the dining table completely stoned from all the drugs I had taken. They saw it but they didn't bother.
My sister Genna was doing so good at that time. Doing great in school, had this amazing internship at a big company so they were just worked up about her and didn't bother to look in my direction. They let me rot.
Come on Alex, don't think about that past. I got my homework and started working because after all that is what I want to do. And I am not planning on giving up.
When I heard my phone ring a little past 4 in the afternoon I picked up without even looking. I was glad I got a little break from all the schoolwork I had done today.
'Hello'
'Alexandra' Tim said.
'Stop it, don't be like that pretending to be mad' I hissed'.
'Just open the front door' he said and hang up
'Oh hell no' I said to myself and walked to the door. And yes of course he must be here. The moment I opened the door he pushed me inside, closed the door with his foot and pressed me against the wall. He held me captive in his arms. The blue and grey in his eyes almost tore me apart. They lure me to him.
His lips pressed fiercly against mine, he let his jacket fall on the floor and buried one hand in my brown locks. His hand massage my scalp while he is kissing me with so much hunger and lust. We missed each other but both too stubborn to admit.
It felt like minutes but were actually seconds, when I took one step back to take a deep breath. He looked at my swollen lips from all the kissing.
'You want to hear it right? Alright I am going to say this once, I missed you' I said and this little smile crept on his lips. He was satisfied.
'Good, now what are we eating?' he asked me and walked inside.
'You know you really left me alone today' I said
'You needed it'
'But I didn't expected it, I thought you would be here like in the afternoon' I grinned and chopped some more peppers for in the spaghetti Bolognese.
'You are teasing me aren't you'
'I am and be fair you deserved it, and I'm sorry I kept you in the dark yesterday it's just I am not used to people caring so much'
'Princess when are you going to get this, I care alright. I care tons about you, you have to let me in' I said and stood behind me now.
'I know I have to, but it's hard. My own father never wanted to know where I was before prison. They didn't care where I was, or doing with whoever. All they did care about was the education from Genna, the oldest from my siblings and me. First Genna, then me and than a bunch of other brothers and sisters. We will get there don't worry. But all they wanted to hear about is how great she was doing in school and what a great internship she got from all her hard working. And then there was me, the druggie' I said.
He didn't say one thing, he just listened and I was greatfull for that. But then out of no where he picked me up and sat me down on the counter.
He stood in between my legs, hands pressed against the counter so I couldn't escape. Again.
'Listen to me Alex, if I was around you the time when you needed someone I am sure I could have saved you. But I wasn't there, I wish I was. But I keep you safe from now on. You don't have to protect yourself anymore because I will. You will have me, always, every hour, every minute and every second' he said.
'You aren't like that anymore, yes you had an addiction but you are over that'
'I am vulnerable Tim, when I see drugs I want It so bad. I can resist but I just don't need to come near any of that'
'And that is not going to happen, don't worry alright. No one of your old friends I can hardly call friends will come near you ever again. You are safe now' he said before.
'What if I disappoint my parents again, or Tessa, or worse you. What if I disappoint you' I asked in a whisper.
'You can't disappoint me, you have your past and i'll accept you anyway. I let you tell me things when you are ready. When you trust me completely, and you will in time. But angel you can't disappoint me ever. You've come so far already' he said.
'Where is this peptalk coming from' I asked smiling in his hands. They feel soft to my skin, they feel safe. Being around him feels safe.
'From you' he said before pressing his lips to mine. His tongue playing with mine, his lips capturing mine. He is making me his. Like he is becoming mine.
'Alright thank you' 'any time darling' he whispered.
'Let me go now or we won't eat dinner tonight'
'I know better things we can do' he grinned and winked at me.
'No you pervert, go chop the unions or something they always make me cry'
He laughed, 'I can't cook darling, you have to do it all by yourself but I got desert covered' he said and kissed my neck before planting himself at the dining table, getting his laptop out and I suppose he is doing some work related things he has to finish.
'If you still need to work, you didn't had to come over here. You could have called'
'Angel, let me do my job alright' he mocked me. Damn him.
I smiled and went back to making dinner, by the time we sat together he constantly eyed me.
'Alright what is up? why are you staring?'
'Nothing is up angel, you are just so damn beautiful' he said.
'No don't be cheesy, I need to blush and get a red head so stop it'
'But is true, and I need your opinion on the next thing I am going to discuss with you'
This made me smile, he can be from formal to such a pervert.
'What do you think about meeting my parents' he said.
He was waiting for my answer but honestly I didn't know. Meeting his parents is a big part of being his and in his life. Am I really ready for that? Do I want that?
'I don't know Tim, it's a really big step'
'I am aware of that, my parents will love you I know that and I know them, they aren't people who put you back on the streets'
Like mine did.
My smile faded, he knew he hit a nerve. 'I'm sorry angel I really am but you have to face the fact that they weren't good parents to you'
'I know that, it still hurt'
'I understand angel but maybe this way we can fill the holes in your heart'
I nodded, 'what if they don't like me or they think I'm not good enough for you?'
'They aren't thinking that way, I knew they will love you instantly when they see you' he said.
'Alright fine' I sighed, 'when will we go?'
'Tomorrow is my mothers annual dinner when me and my sister come by and talk, she wants to do that every week but we could push it to once a month. We see each other regulary but like this my mother wants to keep contact. So are you in?'
'I don't know Tim'
'Alright great, i'll pick you up at 7' he said and took a bite from his spaghetti.
'You are something else pretty eyes' I smiled.
'I've been told' he grinned, 'great spaghetti' he said and took another bite.
I put the last plate in the dishwasher and turned it on, 'is Tessa not coming home?' he asked me.
'I don't know where she is or what she is doing, maybe she has a late shift in the hospital'
He sat down on the couch, when I was done I walked over to him and he pulled me on his lap.
He turned us, so he layed in between my legs. His arms beside me head holding himself up so he could stare me in the eyes. 'You are a true angels you know that right?'
'Are you going to make me blush again?' I asked.
'I love it, the way that red color suits your skin is marvelous. I intend to do that a lot'
'What did I signed up for?' I laughed.
'You know you are mine right?' he said
'Am I? you never asked me formaly'
'Do I need to if I can kiss you like this' he said before pressing his lips to mine.
'But then you know that you are mine too, not other woman or girls. I trust you but I know your reputation if I see you with one other woman we are over. You only get one chance'
'Alright angel, I won't disappoint you but does that mean I can introduce you as my girlfriend'
'I suppose you can, not that you didn't do that already'
'You should know that you are going to make my parents very happy people'
I smiled, 'I intend to please mister Ashforth'
He grinned and kissed me again.
'I know I am a work of art, I need time a lot of it but I like this. Us being together, spending time together. And I have to admit when I went to prison yesterday to visit Lucia I told her about you'.
'What did you tell?'
'That I am happy and that I had met you, that you make me happy and she was so amazed by the fact I grew so much in that little time I got out'
'Angel she is right you did grow'
'And I sort of introduced you as my boyfriend'
'Did you?'
'It slipped out'
That white teeth smile almost made me fall in a slumber of happiness.
'Do you like it if I introduce you as my boyfriend?'
'Yes because that means you are mine and I am yours'
'You make me a very happy woman Timothy'
'I know Angel, I am glad you had to make coffee for me that day'
And that little sentence made me smile.
The bell rang, is it already 7? Last time I checked it was 6 in the afternoon and I had one hour left to get ready and preparing myself. I walked to the door and opened up,
'Ready darling?'
'Tim I don't know If I can do this, I'm a nervous wreck'
'Angel, you can do this I know you can' he said.
'What if they don't like me?'
'Stop worrying, they will love you just like I told you stop pacing around get your bag and lets go'
'You won't leave me alone right?'
'No I won't, I will be by your side the entire time'
I nodded, thankful for that confirmation. I just hope I can empress them enough.