Romettah
She laughed... she laughed.
I kept reminding myself over and over again in the matter of seconds that I had no right to be mad at what she'll say next, repeating the words "don't you fucking cry, Romettah" in my head up to a dozen times as my glare intensified.
In all honesty she didn't really laugh, it was more of a patronizing giggle and it hurt like hell.
Her eyebrows furrowed as she kept a nervous smile then finally opened her mouth to speak. "What are you asking, Romettah?"
My stare was numb. "You heard my question." Was all I said.
She huffs, shaking her head in both bewilderment and nervousness.
God, this is fucking dreadful. I wish I never asked that stupid question because now I wanna leave and burry myself alive.
"Romettah, this is not a real relationship. You do realize that, right? I... we-"
I groan internally and roll my eyes at the sound of my phone ringing. Lucky her, saved by the bell.
Nevertheless, with a low grunt I shift to the edge of the bed to grab my phone which was placed on the night stand. I checked the caller ID briefly, sighing in pure annoyance when I noticed my mothers name flashing across the screen but accepted the call anyhow.
"Yes?" I answered bluntly, irritation clearly laced in my tone of voice.
As I wait for a response I look back to Dani, her lightly bronze now completely fair, her body tense as she nibbles on her bottom lip, a nervous habit of hers. Her big brown eyes eye me like a lost puppy and if it weren't for our circumstances I'd classify this vision as one of the cutest things ever.
"It's late, Ro. I want you home right now." My mom spoke sternly, not necessarily mad, but in a tone which gave off a assertive vibe that she didn't want to be ticked off.
"Alright. I'll be home in a few minutes." I assure her before I end the call.
I don't say anything, not wishing to continue our ongoing conversation and instead I remove myself from the bed and begin to retrieve my clothes from wherever it was that they were thrown before I quickly slip back into them. The entire time I felt Dani's concentrated stare on me.
After I was finished getting dressed she finally decided to speak up. "Leaving?" She ponders, shielding her chest with the bedsheets as she sits up and observes me with what I hope would be wary eyes, but I didn't quite understand the depths of them at the moment.
"Yeah." I confirm and nod, my voice low and raspy. "I think it'll be best if I don't come back either."
Our 'fling', if you will, only lasted a little over a month, and only until today did we reunite. I was foolish to assume that this time around perhaps she'd make up her mind on what she wanted, or who she wanted. However, she remains as confused and undecided as before. But what baffled me the most was how in such a short period of time I could feel so much for a single person. In no way I'd say this to belittle her; but she had nothing no other woman could offer me, the only thing she gave me was this feeling I couldn't put into words. I was beginning to hate her for making me feel so much I never felt before.
I hear Dani chuckle, suck her teeth and when I turn to look at her I catch her rolling her eyes. "You're being dramatic."
The more she spoke the more I felt like someone was throwing pebbles at my chest that somehow carried so much impact. I wanted to tell her to just shut up, but I needed to hear this if this separation was going to be permanent.
I kept my composure as I observe her try to find a way to put into words that she wants to keep me around and trying to explain how she feels. I always thought she felt our connection growing but from what she was telling me I was terribly wrong. I know this relationship we have going on isn't right, illegal even.
"I want to see you again, Ro, but you have to understand that this wasn't going to go another out of the bedroom and out of that stupid babysitting job."
I nod understandingly as I feel my eyes burn with the want to shed tears, but I was holding them bad so hard I felt every muscle in my body clenching. "My birthday's tomorrow, by the way." I murmur lowly but loud enough for her to hear. "You just gave me all the reason in the world to wild the fuck out tomorrow." I forcefully smile.
Dani's mouth falls a gap and I twirl around and quickly I exit the room.
As I walk out I replayed everything that just happened in my head. Ugh, why did I say that last part?! I told myself I'd get my point across but show no weakness. I failed. I just didn't know how could I hide my weakness while standing in front of my weakness herself.
My heeled boots stomp chunkily against the stairs going down the apartment building until I reached the from glass door. I kept my head low, afraid someone might walk by and notice the tears that were inevitably building up in my eyes that before I knew it the door was sung open before I could reach it and the figure behind it bumped into me so intensely I almost went tumbling down on the ground. However, the mysterious figure quickly caught a hold of my forearm and waist seconds before I fell to my death.
"Sorry," I groan. "I wasn't looking. I-" I was quick to apologize at my klutz like persona, but I was quickly cut off by the deep voice of the person I hadn't taken noticed of considering I was keeping my head held low so they wouldn't see the misery hiding behind my eyes.
"Romettah," That dreaded familiar voice calls out. "What are you doing here?" His voice was raspier and more groggy than I remember. He must be catching a cold or something. Whatever it was, I could care less.
I finally look up, shielding my hurt with a stern look. "I was just leaving." I inform him as another couple of people open the door, walking right passed us and my bottom lip quivers slightly when a chilly breeze hits my skin as the door closes back up.
His hand that I noticed was still holding a grasp around my forearm tightened making me wince in the slightest manner at the roughness. "Why were you in my apartment, Romettah?" He barks lowly, pondering and demanding an answer. His eyes were oddly dark and in search for answers, I knew anyone else who'd look into them would feel small and intimidated under his gaze. Not me.
My brows narrow in displeasure but I quickly think of a remark, like I always do. "Ask your girlfriend." I snap, snatching my arm back from his hold. "She'll tell you the truth, if she has the guts." Is the last thing I say before I storm off.
I angrily continue to stomp away and as soon as I'm far enough from the apartment building I slow down, coming to a gradual stop as well as one irritating, gradual conclusion; how the hell am going to get home?
Next Day
I groaned, wincing as I wake up to a vibration from under my pillow and the feeling of slight discomfort in my legs. Having to walk all the way home yesterday wasn't exactly a preconceived decision, not that I many options to chose from at that moment.
I knew the vibration was coming from my phone and it was either an alarm I forgot to turn off or someone was calling me. I squint as I pull the vibrating phone from under my pillow, the bright screen nearly blinding my weak eyes. Gosh, it's only 9:34am and I'm receiving a call.
It's way too early for talking.
I ignore the fact that I desires nothing more than to just sleep this miserable day way and instead sit up to take Armani's call. I knew why she were calling and I have a feeling she's going to want me all dolled up by 8pm tonight.
And I was right, holding my phone not too close to my ear when I heard the loud happy birthday multiple birthday screeches from the other end. I kept on a small smile knowing that they cared enough for me to do this, at least that's how I saw it, but truly this is just another excuse for a party. This is the best they could do, invite me partying. I wasn't complaining, I knew their intentions were in the right place, I just had to think of a polite way to let them down easy.
I was originally planning on spending my day with Layla, we planned on going to the amusement park later today and honestly my bond with her was purer than the type of bond I have with the other girls. There's a big difference between the type of friendship I share with Layla and the type of friendship I share with the girls. Layla and I can talk about anything, we basically have no secrets... well, besides the whole online prostitution thing, and that's what has gotten us so close. The girls and I are party and business friends, we have no real emotional connection.
"Ro, come on! It's your birthday for goodness sake!" Armani groans from the other end and I hear Sasha back her up. Lebra was still in recovery so she wouldn't be joining us tonight. Shame. She's the one we always end up dragging into Armani's car because she's always the one that ends up drinking without measure.
I sigh, thinking momentarily of my decision and somehow they're few words was enough to change my mind. In some way I needed this little push to get my out the house instead of spending my birthday dwelling on why the only person I felt anything for completely broke my heart not even twelve hours ago. I knew I needed a distraction for tonight and what better distraction than a party full of alcohol.
I felt horrible for it, but I guess I'll have to reschedule with Layla.
"Fine..." I drag out and both girls excitedly screech in union once again.
"Be ready by eight-thirty." Armani tells me and I respond with a simple okay before the calls comes to an end.
I detect my mothers depressive state throughout the entire day and it nearly rubbed off on me. She barely got up from bed this morning to make herself a cup of tea. I know she was acting like this because of what happened with John. I know I haven't been the best daughter in the world, I'm aware of all mistakes that I can never take back and the attitude I'll never give up, but I at least expected some form of affection from her on the day she gave birth to me. However, she completely forgot about my birthday.
I almost let a giggle slip past my lips the more I thought about it and the more I thought about it the more I realized I didn't care to hear her tell me "happy birthday". My standards on people are lower than hell itself. The only reason I'm trying to make something, anything of myself is for my father.
When seven rolled around, I decided to start getting ready knowing I wanted to look a little nicer tonight which will take longer than usual. I took a quick shower first then I started on my makeup as I let my hair towel dry. I settled on a bold red lip and shimmery golden eyes with black winged liner.
When it was time to pick out an outfit I agonizingly sighed much to my dismay the realization hit me that my nicer and fancier dresses were stored in Armani's house, due to my mothers strict apparel approval. I was left with no choice but to settle on an old red velvet dress I owned. It hugged my body alright, the long sleeves coming down to my dainty wrists. It wasn't the ugliest dress I owned, but definitely not the prettiest. I had no better options, though.
My hair was right about dry when I allowed it to cascade out my towel shortly after I had slipped into some classic black strap on heels. I didn't bother to do much to my hair besides add some product to emphasize my natural waves because I knew by the end of the night my hair would look rough either way.
My phone dinged signaling I received a text message from Armani that announced her arrival. I quickly grabbed my phone and purse, shoving some essentials into it before nearly stumbling down the stairs in a hurry.
"I'm leaving!" I holler right before I shut the door and speed walk towards Armani's midnight, shadowy black colored Chevy impala. I'm not sure if my mom heard me or not but considering the state she's in I don't think she even really cared.
I greet both Armani and Sasha as I hopped in and soon enough we make it to whomever's house it was this time. Definitely a frat party, definitely a big one. This routine was getting far too consistent.
"What do you think you're wearing?" Sasha acknowledges my choice of clothing with a look of disgust but slowly a cryptic smirk creeps onto her full, ruby painted lips.
I roll my eyes and felt slightly out of place as I stunk into the lonely back seat of Armani's car. "It's the only nice dress I could find in my closet." I groan in annoyance. They out of all people should know how my mothers strict religion makes her attempt to influence every aspect of my life, including my clothing choices.
Armani inspects me for not even a full second as she pulls a shopping bag from her purse and hands it to me. "Good thing we bought you this little number." Armani gushes with a smirk.
I quirk a brow as Armani shoves the shopping bag onto my chest when she realizes I'm hesitant to take the bag from her hands. Slowly but surely I open it and pull out the item from inside. "Oh my..." I fish as the satin, medium length, petal pink dress slips from out the shopping bag. It was definitely far too fancy to wear to someone's house, but fuck it, it's my birthday. "I owe you guys one."
"Hell no." Armani's brows furrow and Sasha sucks her teeth as she shakes her head. "Take it as our birthday gift." She insists.
The space was uncomfortable, but I managed to change in the backseat of Armani's car. I fix the straps and any other wrinkle that needed to be adjusted once we got out the car.
Armani, Sasha and I walk into the huge house side by side like an unstoppable force, and so far we've been exactly that, so perhaps this scenery is portraying us right.
"Sweet, the birthday girl finally arrived!" A auburn, curly haired boy with big dopey brown eyes approaches us with the most crooked smile I've seen so far. And by crooked I mean this boy must already stoned be to the max, the smell of weed lingering on his clothes completely gave that away.
"Back off, Adam." Sasha playfully rolls her eyes even though his presence seems to irk her.
Am I missing something?
"Let the birthday girl through." Armani states firmly but with an obviously dab of prissiness, grabbing my hand and pulling me further inside until Adam gets in our way once again.
"Woah, woah, woah." Adam halts us, his eyebrows furrowed for a few seconds until his lightly red glazed eyes looked between Armani and Sasha as a smirk finds a way back into his lips. "No kisses from my favorite girls?"
As I'm stood in between both girls they glance right through me and look at each other for some sort of approval. They huff in sync, Armani giving him one of her classic eye-rolls and he puckers up. Armani pecks his lips first and right after Sasha does the exact same and we're miraculously allowed to fully enter that way.
What... the fuck.
"What... the fuck." I vocalize my exact thoughts.
"That's Adam, twenty-one, a fucking headache." Sasha tells me as if it's something I shouldn't be questioning.
"Well no shit, what was that about, though?" I inquire as we walk into the direction of the kitchen where more stoned teenagers are lounging around in.
"He knows about what we do," Armani informs me and my eyes instantly widen. "He's a call boy. He's rich because of his parents, I mean, look at this house! But his parents wanted him to work and of course poor prissy boy didn't know how to do anything besides lurk on the internet. He found the website, blackmailed me and wanted to get involved for the extra cash. Now if we go down, so does he. All just live up to his parents expectation. They think he's working in a bank with the amount of money he comes home with in one night." Armani says smirking in pure amusement as she pours herself a drink, giggling against the rim of the cup when she finally takes a sip.
That was a lot of information compacted into a short summary and I wasn't sure what to take of it nor if I should be exactly fond of this Adam character considering the blackmail.
I didn't want to think nor jinx anything before it happened so I decided to not dwell on Adam for a minute longer and instead enjoy what's supposed to be my own personal holiday by grabbing the bottle of cîroc and taking a swing straight from the bottle.
After a few hours of nothing but dancing and drinking I decide to call up an uber and leave. I wasn't really in the party mood to begin with but because it was my birthday I made an exception. That exception was a mistake. I felt miserable and quite frankly every sweaty person in here disgusted me and was invading my personal space to the point that I felt like I had come up with a case of claustrophobia. I wasn't drunk in the slightest, I was such a heavy weight that sometimes that scared me. Nevertheless, I grabbed a water bottle on my way out to drain out the smell of alcohol that lingered on my tongue.
Fortunately there was no traffic on the way back home and I made it back with fifteen minutes to spare before the clock hit midnight. I made sure to slip off my heels before entering my house incase my mother was sleeping. Usually I would care of what she had to say about the time I decide to get home, but right now I simply did not wish to listen to her talk.
Unfortunately, I could not save myself from the inevitable.
"Home so early?" She sarcastically pondered.
I jumped in place and my alarmed hands let go of my heels causing them to fall to the ground with a loud chunky clash.
"Jeez, mom, you scared me." I breathe out, bending down to retrieve my heels after turning of the hallway light.
She gawks at my choice of clothes. "Where were you?" She asks, this time with no sarcastic tint to it, just a sternly blunt question, her arms crossed firmly over her chest.
"Since when do you care about my whereabouts?" I joke halfheartedly, chuckling dryly as I try to put some humor back into this dreadful and strongly unnecessary situation.
By the look on my mothers face I knew joke time was over. "Since I gave birth to you. Now answer the question, Romettah!"
"I was at a party."
"It's been two weeks since John died and you're out partying!?" She scoffs in disbelief. "Do you have a heart!?"
"Yes mom, I do." I declare, rolling my tired eyes. "And that's precisely why I'm not going to mope around like its the end of the world. I'm going to go on with my life and I suggest you do the same. It was never like I saw him as a father figure anyways."
"You selfish brat," she snarls viciously. "That's because you never let him."
Quite frankly, I was sick of her doing this; always trying to find a replacement for my real father. Ever since John I was no longer her top priority (not that I ever really was before him). I wanted her feel how sick I was of her, I wanted the next words that fell from my lips to sting, I wanted them to sink into her so deep she'll still hear those words echo and follow her from a distance.
"You know what," I begin, biting my bottom lip before letting it go. "I should have asked you that when you put my dad in jail."