So, there's the second draft of the story. I left out a lot, because frankly, becoming a vigilante just isn't realistic, so that whole part was left out.
I added in Vivian to show the realistic-ness of Kelly not being able to be close to a man again after what she'd been through. Especially not so soon. Again, why I got rid of Peter Jeffreys. Though she never was intimate with Vivian, she was there for her and comforted her and held her when she needed it, because again, there's no way Kelly could be intimate with anyone after what she'd been through, even if it was a woman.
If I re-wrote this story, I'd probably add in a few more details from the original and keep a bunch from the second drafts, but all in all, what did you think? It's already got a few votes, so I know it's not utter crap, but please, let me know!
Comment or, if you're going to go into detail or be brutally honest, inbox me, please!
Thank you for all your help. I couldn't do this without you guys.
-CJ